RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Submission is a gift

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RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/3/2017 9:25:28 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
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quote:

An asshat becauae he criticsed women?

No, because he said a bunch of really stupid shit is why, duh.

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Post #: 41

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/3/2017 10:54:03 PM

longwayhome

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

My submission isn't a gift, his domination is.

Everything I do here is a gift.

You guys should feel grateful that I log on here and give you my time and energy as well as the pearls of wisdom that fall from my lips.

I only became a sub to be revered.

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Post #: 42

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/3/2017 11:23:11 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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To OP,

The beauty of compatibility is, there will be dominants who treat submission as a gift. And there will be dominants who will not treat submission as a gift. And there will be submissives available to to suit the corresponding two types of Dominants.

So if you are a dominant who do not feel submission is a gift. Then find your target market. Stop hanging around submissives who wanted to be treated as special princesses.

BTW, I am definitely a sub who feels and believes and think my submission is a gift.

I think the whole point of finding your significant other IS if they feel you ARE their SIGNIFICANT OTHER in return!

So I don't understand this whole complain about submissive wanting dominants who treat submission as a gift.

If you think submissives should be with dominants who treat them as less, then perhaps you should be with a submissive who treats you as less too.

Look at my profile for example. I have two polarising type of dominants contacting me.

Type 1 will typically write me and tell me that there is nothing submissive about me. It's all about Me Me Me.

Type 2 will typically write me and tell me my profile is refreshing, as the first thing I write about is how I see myself complimenting a dominant, before I mention about my own needs. And that shows natural desire to please.

See how this works?

Type 1 doesn't get me. Type 2 gets me.

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Post #: 43

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/3/2017 11:33:06 PM

longwayhome

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
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I certainly agree that if you are looking a significant other, it is quite nice if they think you are significant in return.

I may not want my submission to be a gift but I quite like the thought that the other person appreciates that fact that they are significant to me and feels the same way about me. Being a sub may mean being treated badly if that's your dynamic, but it shouldn't mean being treated thoughtlessly or with no regard for your well-being.

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Post #: 44

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/3/2017 11:49:54 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
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Here we go again with your "men are so hard done by" routine.

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Post #: 45

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 12:26:09 AM

longwayhome

Posts: 1035
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No no, not at all.

That's just the ghost of previous posters making my words seem like they mean something they don't.

Sorry if other posters pedal that line. For my part, if I want a certain type of relationship, it is my responsibility to go out and find it. If you look at my other posts, I am about as far from RM and his "poor me victim" approach as you can get.

My point is specifically about the whole "submission is a gift" thing. I'm not in the camp that says that subs need to be treated as if they and their submission is something precious to be cherished. I want to be valued as a human being but I don't need anyone to see my submission as a gift. That is nothing to do with feeling any butt-hurt about being a man.

For me it's far more a practical point about having a good fit in terms of your needs. Both a Dom/me and a sub should care about that complementarity so that in a long term relationship deep seated emotional needs are met, whether that is fluffy cuddly stuff or humiliation. Brief or casual encounters are different.

If you need that special feeling that your partner appreciates you (whatever your role, dynamic, gender etc.) then you need to communicate that and go for it. That's not for everyone. Communicate your needs and accept it if that is not what someone else wants instead of complaining that people don't appreciate the "gift" of your submission. If you don't ask, you don't get.

So no - I don't think that men are hard done by.

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Post #: 46

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 1:12:52 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
Being a sub may mean being treated badly

But THAT is the Gift!

That person allowing you to "treat them badly" voluntarily and loving you for it!

That IS the gift!

That is the difference between a sub girlfriend and a vanilla girlfriend for example right?

You can enjoy the "societal unacceptable" things with her, without looking like an asshole, In her eyes, you will be adored for it!

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/4/2017 1:13:44 AM >

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Post #: 47

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 12:18:11 PM

Cell

Posts: 409
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Welp... turnabout is fair play so, dominance is a gift I say!

I don't know if I'm joking or not... it actually sounds pretty right to me.

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Post #: 48

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 12:18:56 PM

NoirMetal

Posts: 508
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Mastery is the "gift of attention."

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Post #: 49

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 2:09:45 PM

respectmen

Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

Here we go again with your "men are so hard done by" routine.

The "women are so hard done by" routine is a daily occurence on these forums. Ya know, poor women getting treated as a fetish delivery system. Male sexuality is soooo evil.

If the "poor women" rant is acceptable, so should the "poor men" rant.

< Message edited by respectmen -- 4/4/2017 2:15:04 PM >

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Post #: 50

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 3:18:05 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

Welp... turnabout is fair play so, dominance is a gift I say!

I don't know if I'm joking or not... it actually sounds pretty right to me.

Personally, I prefer plunder.

Gift? I dunno. Can I exchange it for Kitchen Aid attachments? Is it really mine if it can be taken away without my consent? Gags work great against the gift of gab so it seems..but the price paid for that is fairly steep.

I'm willing to compromise though cuz I'm all adult like that. My gift will be marks .. bruises and such. A tangible, photographable remembrance that like the flower will fade in time but cannot be taken away..now there's something I don't mind calling a gift.

You know what, Cell..nice to see you again btw..bottom line ..if it sounds right "to" you..it's probably right "for" you..but you're the judge.

Now that I thought about a bruise being a gift like a flower can be..my eyes are more open so..gem dropped, seen and picked up thanks to your bita pondering there, Cell. I still like this place.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 51

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 5:06:06 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

The "women are so hard done by" routine is a daily occurence on these forums. Ya know, poor women getting treated as a fetish delivery system. Male sexuality is soooo evil.

If the "poor women" rant is acceptable, so should the "poor men" rant.

I didn't say a thing about women being treated badly/being hard done by. Just you and more of your circle jerk bullshit. Have fun with it.

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I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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Post #: 52

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 5:37:29 PM

LisaSadistic

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/12/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

quote:

The "women are so hard done by" routine is a daily occurence on these forums. Ya know, poor women getting treated as a fetish delivery system. Male sexuality is soooo evil.

If the "poor women" rant is acceptable, so should the "poor men" rant.

I didn't say a thing about women being treated badly/being hard done by. Just you and more of your circle jerk bullshit. Have fun with it.

It's unfair that people can complain about being treated like shit, but he's not allowed to complain that people who he treats like shit won't have sex with him. Seems totally reasonable.

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Post #: 53

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 6:11:50 PM

Cell

Posts: 409
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

Welp... turnabout is fair play so, dominance is a gift I say!

I don't know if I'm joking or not... it actually sounds pretty right to me.

Personally, I prefer plunder.

Gift? I dunno. Can I exchange it for Kitchen Aid attachments? Is it really mine if it can be taken away without my consent? Gags work great against the gift of gab so it seems..but the price paid for that is fairly steep.

I'm willing to compromise though cuz I'm all adult like that. My gift will be marks .. bruises and such. A tangible, photographable remembrance that like the flower will fade in time but cannot be taken away..now there's something I don't mind calling a gift.

You know what, Cell..nice to see you again btw..bottom line ..if it sounds right "to" you..it's probably right "for" you..but you're the judge.

Now that I thought about a bruise being a gift like a flower can be..my eyes are more open so..gem dropped, seen and picked up thanks to your bita pondering there, Cell. I still like this place.

Hi Bita, nice to see you too.
I think something about the idea of dominance being a gift just tickled me... A hint of arrogance in it maybe. Any gems were I think not dropped by me... maybe the gift (if there has to be one), is in appreciating and cherishing the parts we play in each other's lives.

Oh Bita, this place... Tires me, almost everything I read I find so stupid and pointless (not you). I think I'm turning into a grumpy old man.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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Post #: 54

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 8:09:42 PM

respectmen

Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LisaSadistic

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

quote:

The "women are so hard done by" routine is a daily occurence on these forums. Ya know, poor women getting treated as a fetish delivery system. Male sexuality is soooo evil.

If the "poor women" rant is acceptable, so should the "poor men" rant.

I didn't say a thing about women being treated badly/being hard done by. Just you and more of your circle jerk bullshit. Have fun with it.

It's unfair that people can complain about being treated like shit, but he's not allowed to complain that people who he treats like shit won't have sex with him. Seems totally reasonable.

Feel free to quote where I'm apparently getting angry at women because they wont have sex with me?

Oh that's right, you're lying. It's typical for people to make this up nearly every time a male happens to criticse women. Women are perfect princesses who never do wrong and who are never at fault. So it must be the reason why a male criticises women, it can never be women that are doing wrong.

Do women who carry on with this shit realise what chauvinist fuckbrains they are? It's basically acting like that you hold superiority over men because of sex, therefore women should be in the clear of any criticisim and if it so happens, its simply because of that superiority that women hold over men with sex and the male is only complaining because he cant get sex.

You can't argue against what the male is saying so you resort to this silly tactic in an attempt to intimate the man from saying more.

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Post #: 55

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 8:10:56 PM

respectmen

Posts: 2042
Joined: 8/28/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

quote:

The "women are so hard done by" routine is a daily occurence on these forums. Ya know, poor women getting treated as a fetish delivery system. Male sexuality is soooo evil.

If the "poor women" rant is acceptable, so should the "poor men" rant.

I didn't say a thing about women being treated badly/being hard done by. Just you and more of your circle jerk bullshit. Have fun with it.

So you have never complained about men only wanting a fetish delivery system? Are you sure you're telling the truth?

(in reply to MsLadySue)

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Post #: 56

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/4/2017 9:38:28 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell
I think I'm turning into a grumpy old man.

I heard somewhere or made this up..bruises have anti-grumping agents.

That sounds so right.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 57

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/5/2017 4:51:17 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

You guys should feel grateful that I log on here

Ewww. Can't you use the toilet like everyone else?

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Post #: 58

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/5/2017 6:24:05 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell
I think something about the idea of dominance being a gift just tickled me... A hint of arrogance in it maybe.

First of all. Submissive and Dominance is not as simple as just any submission and any dominance.

It takes really two D and S to really fit each other and compliment each other.

Not everybody has the right style of dominance to dom me.

Because that style is extremely rare. So yes, it will be treated as a precious gift when I find him and I will feel so fortunate to be his submissive and experience his very rare and special style of leadership. I would be in awe of him!

I mean, I just don't understand why people want to be in a relationship where they don't treat each other as special people.

I don't believe in treating my significant other equal to everyone else. I believe in treating them the best! Giving my best to him. I will be more understanding, more forgiving, and will have a softer spot for him than anybody else.

But I guess it all boils down to compatibility again. I need a dominant who treats submission as a gift. And also believe who he chose to bestow his dominance upon as a gift too. It would be an exclusive relationship. We will be special to each other.

Seriously dominance isn't just declaring, "I am a dominant". I think when you choose a sub, you would be putting in alot of effort into molding your sub. You will be managing her, leading her. It is efforts. Especially if this is beyond fun and games and role play to you.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/5/2017 6:29:36 AM >

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Post #: 59

RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 4/5/2017 9:01:56 AM

Cell

Posts: 409
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell
I think I'm turning into a grumpy old man.

I heard somewhere or made this up..bruises have anti-grumping agents. That sounds so right.