UllrsIshtar
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Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
A gift is something you cannot take back once given, as it now fully belongs to the person whom you've given it to.
This encourages the submissive to view themselves as lacking agency, with their 'gift' now fully belonging to the Dominant, and them being in a passive role of waiting whether or not the Dominant will treasure or mistreat their gift, with them having no control, nor a way out when things go wrong.
There are plenty of people who demand their gifts back in this world. Have you never seen bitter divorces? I never view it as "victim mentality".
For example, if I was a parent, and I gift my child an Xbox, and if that child was abusing the Xbox. I am soooo taking it back!
If a Dominant abuse my gift of submission. I am sooo taking it back!
Actually, if you were a parent, you wouldn't be taking back your 'gift', what you'd be taking is one of your child's belongings as a punitive act.
You know, the way the state can take your money as a penalty for speeding.
You'd be enforcing a punishment, which is within your authority to enforce, not 'ungifting' your gift.
It becomes very clear that you're not merely 'ungifting' your gift, when you consider that a parent can't just confiscate stuff they gave the kid, they can confiscate ANYTHING anybody gave to the kid, I.E. they have the authority to confiscate all of the kid's belongings, whether they gave it to the child or not.
If you were an aunt or another friend or relative, you wouldn't have the possibility of taking back your gift, as you wouldn't have the authority to do so. That authority lays strictly with the parents.
As such, a parent doesn't 'ungift' gifts, they merely confiscate a child's belongings as punishment for misbehavior. The emphasis being on the fact that prior to the confiscation, the item fully belongs to the child.
So if you want to claim that in a D/s relationship you are in a position off authority over the Dominant and have the ability to 'punish' them when they do not behave according to your wishes by taking away their stuff (your gift) as a penalty for misbehavior, then yeah... sure...
But it's making the whole 'gift' analogy sound rather ludicrous, now doesn't it? Because literally the ONLY relationship in which you can take back gifts as a punishment is that of a parent to a child (the child cannot even take back gifts given to parents as a punishment to the parent), so you're now making a D/s relationship analogous of that of a parent to a child, in which the submissive is the parent, and the Dominant is the child.
To me, that seems like a lot of unnecessary mental gymnastics to desperately avoid describing it as the exchange it is.
As far as bitter divorces go, you are incorrect in your analogy there. There is no legal precedent, that I'm aware off, in which people are obligated to return gifts in case of a divorce. They often do so, out of their own free will, but if they refuse to do so, a giving party cannot legally force the return of gifts freely given, just because they want to to be so.
Often there's a negotiated return of gifts, but again, this is done out of the receiving party's free will, and if they want to, they could retain the gift.
Thus, in order for that analogy to work in case of D/s, a Dominant ought to have the option of refusing to return the 'gift' of submission, which is obviously not the case.
If the submissive refuses to submit, there is no longer a D/s structure. The Dominant's consent is not relevant in this.
The fact of the matter is that submission simple isn't something you can 'gift' to another person, because it's something that resides within you, which is provoked in response to your interaction with another person.
You couldn't 'gift' your submission to just any random person. They have to provoke it in your first, and then you have to chose to act on that provocation by behaving in a modified way from your normal responses to random other people.
Without their Dominance, you couldn't be submissive to a person, no matter how much you wanted to, or how much you tried... because submission isn't something you possess (something you own, which you can therefore give away) it's something you do and feel, in response to something else that somebody else does and feel.
< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 4/11/2017 12:34:05 PM >
_____________________________
I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for
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RE: It's nice to see the balance in BDSM returning Subm... - 
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