RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (Full Version)

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MistressWolfen -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 5:06:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons
...someone who called me the n word and that hurt more then i ever thought and this was not a submissive it was a elelmarty school teacher i worked with. that is racism at the highest level.... 


That must have been very hurtful for you mons; that kind of  language is indeed ugly/hateful mons and racism at it's public verbal nastiest, however, it is only one facet of racism. Again, I own my thoughts and express them in a respectful manner (hopefully)and I am always open to reading yours. I will continue to view  people as individuals and insist the courtesy is returned. Just my take, I prefer to be Wolfen than that "fat (no I am NOT a BBW), middle aged academic person of mixed heritage. I prefer that I am viewed as as a complete and individual person by my admirers and my detractors, warts/good points and all. No, I would not and have declined submissives that wish to objectify, or project their fantasy onto,  me whether that objectification/projection is complimentary or not.



MistressWolfen -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 5:16:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhDslave
I'm attracted to  Dominant Women . I like reading your observations and thoughts. I like seeing you mentally dig  just a little deeper. You struggle with the mental challenges and we struggle with the physical ones: you tackle  the conundrums, enigmas, and paradoxes of life and we endure  the extra five cane strokes. LOL  Seriously, whether I agree or not I like seeing a Dominant Woman really pushing herself intellectually and expressing her ideas. That was my motivation.

bullox!! PhDslave, you have redirected the focus of your OP on three occasions, each redirection more ingratiating than the last (which is down right condescending). Having read these forums and many of the members thoughts for over a year I doubt that the women that posted on this thread were "mentally challenged" whilst reading your words. *mutters smug prat* and wanders off.



MisPandora -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 5:18:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

greetings woflen
 
it was not racsit for him to preferr black dommes! why did you think this. many white submissive and slave write to me becasue i am a black domme i do not think this is wrong they had a feeling for black domianant women, i do not still see this as raist he did not say anything wrong like " oh i like that black &*^^% or anything like that. raist is this woflen someone who called me the n word and that hurt more then i ever thought and this was not a submissive it was a elelmarty school teacher i worked with. that is racism at the highest level to ask for a black domimant male or female is ok i find i am treated so well and i too rather be with a white submissive myself some may not like this for reason i do not know but i think if we are happy with whom we choice it is ok he is not a racist he is a man who like black women
 
mons

He didn't actually come out and say he prefers black dominas.  His statements were that he believes that black dominas have _________ over everyone else on here.  That IS prejudicial when you base it on race alone.



PhDslave -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 6:31:51 AM)

I don't prefer black dominas or white or asian or hispanic. My area of interest is in how our backgrounds, culture and upbringing influence our later lives. I choose Black dominas first because I DID notice differences in SOME of the profiles that are clearly racial. The differences  often begin with the very screen name of the lady, e.g. 'Black', 'Ebony', 'Onyx', etc. SOME (not all) then go one to encourage us NOT to consider race, but concentrate on other attributes. Others HIGHLIGHT their 'blackness' and from that imply certain character attributes that make them more  'awesome' or 'imposing' . All this is no big deal, but it IS racially motivated and initiated  by the ladies themselves.

I started with black dominas because I thought it would be easier to get a discussion going. Boy, was I right, but not in the way I thought. It became apparent to me that we as a country are still incapable of a discussion of race that is not defensive, combative or just plain silly.

So, I shifted the focus to other, hopefully less incendiary groups, e.g. dominas born and raised in other countries, especially ones that are considered problematic for women's rights. I asked if any non-U.S. dominas might slightly different perspectives.

I tried to point out that people DO notice differences. For instance, foreigners have with near unanimity pointed to Americans' materialism - our obsession with possessions and 'keeping up with the Jones'. Is it true? I don't know, but it's certainly worth considering. Folks from rural areas in our own country  comment on the 'speeded-up' way of life in urban areas. City people seem to drive, move and even talk faster than their rural counterparts.

With a few exceptions, I found the feedback to be a waste of time. If you're not interested in this topic (understandable because it's kinda wonkish) or simply don't know, please don't respond. It's that simple.

I HAVE learned one BIG thing from all this.  I've discovered that trying to introduce a discussion that involves  race in any way  before a general audience in America in 2006 is a   mistake. Some have suggested that that's why things have moved so slowly here.



MisPandora -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 6:37:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhDslave

With a few exceptions, I found the feedback to be a waste of time. If you're not interested in this topic (understandable because it's kinda wonkish) or simply don't know, please don't respond. It's that simple.


The feedback may be a waste of time because it wasn't what YOU wanted to hear.

I think there was alot communicated from several women concerning how they've been approached by gentlemen with this "black women are better" mentality, and none of it was very flattering.  Does it then surprise you that people were instantly on the alert to the underpinnings of your message?



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 9:31:49 AM)

MisPandora:
quote:


So you're the sassy one that Schwartzenegger had to make an apology about, huh? LOL


boy did the governator stick his foot in his mouth with THAT comment. personally i wasn't offended because it's true for the most part- cuban and puerto rican women typically have firey tempers.. but damn i wouldn't say it if i was the governor. [sm=noway.gif]



PhDslave -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 1:38:57 PM)

MisPandora,

There are no underpinnings to my message. I wasn't looking for a particular message. Jeez. I was ONLY  seeking information. I don't think black dommes are any 'better' or 'worse' than any other dommes of a different race.

Do black dommes experience BDSM any differently than white/asian/hispanic/other dominant women?  I don't have any preconceived notions of anything.

Some people can be curious about things even though it doesn't affect them personally. Theoretical physicists come to mind.

(Personal note: I'm attracted to women who are seeking an LTR and who are capable of reciprocating love and affection. That could include ANY race or combinations thereof).

I'm interested in how different dominant  women from diverse backgrounds experience BDSM. 

THAT'S IT.  THAT'S ALL. 



littlesarbonn -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 1:59:36 PM)

Several years back, I dated an African-American female pro-dominant. For me, it was all about the fact that she was intelligent, fun and attractive (in that order). Race or ethnicity has never really been a desire or issue with or for me. However, I will say this: When dating her, I never had SO MANY people ask me what it was "like" to date an African-American female pro-dominant. It was so obvious that the "female pro-dominant" was not really the question they were asking. I always responded with my stock answer of "It's hard to believe." And when they asked why, convinced they were going to get some juicy response, I would say: "It's hard to believe ANY woman would actually date me, so this is just amazing."

As for the original question, I find all sorts of different types of profiles on this web site. I can be equally amazed and disgusted by what people put in those things. I've never noticed any trends that have anything to do with demographics other than possibly geographical location.



BBBTBW -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 2:25:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora



He didn't actually come out and say he prefers black dominas.  His statements were that he believes that black dominas have _________ over everyone else on here.  That IS prejudicial when you base it on race alone.


Why is it prejudicial?  He said HE BELIEVES.  He didn't state it as a fact.  Is the man not entitled to have his own beliefs and share them with anyone he wants?



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 2:44:37 PM)

I think whenever people bring up race.. in any capacity, it's pretty much lighting a powder keg.

Is it right that we can't speak about it openly? No. But is that a fact? Yes. We're overly cautious about applying blanket assertions or stereotypes to anyone for the sake of political correctness.

If you want to find out whatever it is you're seeking to find out, it would be best to ask Ebony Dominas on an individual basis and formulating your own conclusion rather than posting a query that could be taken either way by so many people.

Like someone earlier said, you're getting an answer, it's just not the one you wanted to hear or perhaps were expecting to hear. What someone else may feel is a cloaked question another person may take it for what it is.

Obviously there are differences between all ethnicities- that's what makes culture culture.  To bring *light* to said differences is asking for a heated debate.

just my two cents worth.





BBBTBW -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 2:46:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhDslave

MisPandora,

There are no underpinnings to my message. I wasn't looking for a particular message. Jeez. I was ONLY  seeking information. I don't think black dommes are any 'better' or 'worse' than any other dommes of a different race.

Do black dommes experience BDSM any differently than white/asian/hispanic/other dominant women?  I don't have any preconceived notions of anything.

Some people can be curious about things even though it doesn't affect them personally. Theoretical physicists come to mind.

(Personal note: I'm attracted to women who are seeking an LTR and who are capable of reciprocating love and affection. That could include ANY race or combinations thereof).

I'm interested in how different dominant  women from diverse backgrounds experience BDSM. 

THAT'S IT.  THAT'S ALL. 


PhD

When statements are made and people cannot relate in any way, shape or form to them, they automatically take the defensive.  I personally didn't find anything offensive in what you said.  I saw it as an observation from reading a few profiles. 

You might be one of those that are seeking information for a paper or a book.  (I have run into several of them) or you might be sincere. Whichever it is, you need to know that your opinion doesn't matter to anyone as much as their own opinion matters to them.  It doesn't matter what you say to explain your position, they will still get on the defensive and try to shoot you down.  If you had criteria other than race, such as "regions of the US" there wouldn't have been so much WHOOPLA about your opinion.  But when it hits someone personally in an area they can't change about themselves, they want to call you out on it. 

You are entitled to have your own opinions about your own observations, just becareful about how you present it to the masses.  In my opinion, I would create a non response blog page about your findings.  That way others can keep their opinions to themselves or share them with those that truely care.

Ms Loren



PhDslave -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 8:43:06 PM)

Dear Ms Loren and Ebony Fetish Goddess,

Thank you for your sage advice. I wish I had contacted you two BEFORE embarking on this crazy inquiry. Best wishes to both of you. Some guys are  going to be involved with a couple of insightful Women. Btw, I'm not writing a book, article, etc. I just got curious one day  about how  women from different backgrounds experience kink and decided to ask on the 'Ask a Mistress' thread. Thanks for your advice.  



MisPandora -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/10/2006 8:58:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora



He didn't actually come out and say he prefers black dominas.  His statements were that he believes that black dominas have _________ over everyone else on here.  That IS prejudicial when you base it on race alone.


Why is it prejudicial?  He said HE BELIEVES.  He didn't state it as a fact.  Is the man not entitled to have his own beliefs and share them with anyone he wants?


It's prejudice because that's what the dictionary SAYS it is!

: preconceived preference or idea.

: judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.



mons -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/11/2006 4:28:50 AM)

greetings woflen
 
thank you for your kind words i could do nothing about what this woman said to me it was me or her they made me leave i was given a review tso bad after 14 years of working i lose my damn mind i had to stop working i become ill i lose my chance to sue no one would help me. one more thing i find anyone who uses that word is ill she was crazy and all know it but i am ok one day she will cost that school money and i wil not be there to seeit i laugh now but it was like someone knock me out. when you work with little ones can you imagine how she thought of me if she could she this to me wow.
 
now this phd fellow do you really know what you want? well it is ok if you choose women of color or nor not if you do then ok if you do not ok too well take vcare
 
i do love writing here you all are nice to me i have no promblems here at all ok take care all
 
mons



MistressDolly -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (9/11/2006 6:46:23 AM)

PhDslave,  I detected NO bias nor racism in your post.  On the contrary, your post seemed rather neutral.  But it doesn't matter what I think:  reality is in the eyes of the beholder. 



MistressRoux -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (2/21/2010 11:14:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressWolfen

Mons, the sharpness or mild amusement in some cases was not directed at African-American dominant woman the OP was so blatantly trolling for, it was directed at the OP. I would be quite disturbed about the not so subtle racism this post exhibited, and would consider the long term affect such a biased view would have on any relationship the OP entered into. If I were a woman of colour I would consider this bias even more deeply, unless of course I wished to be viewed as one of the group and through these pre-concieved views (based on profile writing).
*edited to add ~ mons, replace the OP words "Black Female Dominants overall" with "Any Other Racial Group Female Dominants" and you will understand what I mean.


*edited for clarity

In direct response to the OP I stand by my first statement, NO I did not notice that and actually took some time to read through some of the profiles, nor  have most of the other respondents to your post.

quote:

rbed about the not so subtle racism this post exhibited, and would consider the long term affect such a biased view would have on any relationship the OP entered into. If I were a woman of colour I would consider this bias even more deeply, unless of course I wished to be viewed as one of the group and throu


I don't see anything he posted as racist. He holds a bit of a bias against non-black dommes.



ModeratorSeven -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (2/21/2010 11:19:43 AM)

Please read the Ask A Mistress FAQ about pulling up threads that are over 6 months old.


Often, your questions can be answered by doing a search of the archives. Please check the date of a thread and try to avoid commenting on anything more than 6 months old. If you would like to start a discussion based on a thread more than 6 months old, create a new post and include a link to the old thread. Posts telling people the “right” or “true” way to do things are unwelcome. If you are very knowledgeable about a certain topic, we welcome you to share your experiences, just keep your mind open to other possibilities.



jessisub -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (2/21/2010 11:24:08 AM)

i love them myself i am made for them to use me as they wish to be what they want i will open my soul to them if they like i worship them totaly i am there sub/slave



GraciousLady -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (2/21/2010 11:37:02 AM)

You know guys, just because someone makes a statement about a particular race does not mean they are being negative about that race. That may just be their opinion or observation. What I'm trying to say here is I do not agree with the OP but his statement may very well be his expierences. My expierences with most men on this site is that they are posers and liers just looking to get laid. Many may disagree with me but that has been my expierence.



PrincessDonna -> RE: African-Amercian Dominant Women (2/21/2010 12:05:21 PM)

I am amazed at the turn this thread took,its like these adults do not want to address racial issues.One person made an comment that THEY felt and it rolled from there,I didnt see the comment as being demeaning,even if he prefers A.A. Dommes,when do we start really opening up to each other about ALL issues so that we can understand each other better.?????



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