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How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 9:56:40 AM   
lilboysubKC


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Joined: 3/1/2006
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      this ones has fought tooth and nail for the whole time he realized he was meant for this lifestyle and has yet to find a real Mistress....i was wondering if anyone could help? I am fairly new to BDSM but with ex g/f's i did experiance different things that are involved in BDSM      
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:13:37 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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you MUST work on your profile. A reposting of what I told someone else (But I've changed the age to match yours).

Think of your profile as a resume. When you right a resume, you include a goal, education, experience and skills.

What is your goal? What kind of relationship ARE you looking for? A monogamous one with someone you want to marry or a poly one with someone who is gathering a household?

As for your education, start reading. Skip the porn and, for the most part, the fiction. Read these non-fiction books:
Ties that Bind
SM 101
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns
To Love, To Obey, To Serve
Slavecraft
The Path of Service: Guideposts for Excellence
Loving Dominant
Different Loving (if you can get through it...it can be dry)

Remember that these books are often opinions...take what works for you and leave the rest. If you are looking to be a bottom for kinky sex, some of these books won't apply...but they will if you are looking to be of service to someone.

While, at 21, it's hard to list kink experience...but how about physical experience? Can you cook? Clean? Mow the grass? Do you even want to do these things in the kind of relationship you are looking for? If you're looking to be a sexual bottom, you might list the skills you have there or the skills you wish to aquire, but know, sexual bottoms are a dime a dozen.

A few other things:
Even if you want kinky sex, don't list your fantasies in your profile. Even in sex, we want to be the focus...this is about you serving us, even when this is in a sexual manner. When the Dominant wants to know your sexual fantasies, they will ask. Hopefully, they match, then everyone is happy!

List what physical and psychological boundaries you have. Everyone has them. Perhaps you'd rather not be maimed for life...or to be severely humiliated in public. Saying that you have no limits is crap...and dangerous. Saying that, if you find someone who is a match, then it can SEEM like you have no limits, because her limits are yours, too, IS correct.

Don't settle. If there are big areas where you don't match, don't force it just because you really want to be owned. It simply will not work.

Master Fire



_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to lilboysubKC)
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:16:11 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
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How does one find a Mistress?
Probably by looking..

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:18:01 AM   
lilboysubKC


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that was very very informative thank You very much

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:22:29 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
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good luck buddy, i've been looking for over 10 years.

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:29:03 AM   
doggydog


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You can't. Female dominance is so unnatural that heterosexual "dommes" are almost invariably hookers trying to make a buck off sad cases who can't face the reality of male-female nature.

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:30:59 AM   
MadamShy


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maybe you would get more attention if you Were into Lifestyle BDSM

LOL ... you just tolerate Real Life???

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Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:32:04 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
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maybe i'm just tired of being too much of a challenege...hehehehehe

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:33:30 AM   
MadamShy


Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
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one who is hiding behind the vanilla doggy dog

there are Many that are real .. I for one am Lifestyle and Pro .. have owned One kitty pet for over 4 years 24/7 try telling Him Im fake and just a prostitute ... I dont have sex with Clients ..

Boo Hoo .. hey I don't bitch because I can't find the other Live in slave ... I know i'm strict and I know that not all are into what I am into ...

get over your self

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:36:13 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
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i think there's a Dominant for everyone...finding the right one...that's the challenge...


< Message edited by michaelOfGeorgia -- 11/22/2006 10:43:55 AM >


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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 10:41:29 AM   
MagiksSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: doggydog

You can't. Female dominance is so unnatural that heterosexual "dommes" are almost invariably hookers trying to make a buck off sad cases who can't face the reality of male-female nature.


You are kidding right.... eather way that was the most disgusting thing to say!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 11:05:41 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
quote:

ORIGINAL: doggydog
You can't. Female dominance is so unnatural that heterosexual "dommes" are almost invariably hookers trying to make a buck off sad cases who can't face the reality of male-female nature. 

You are kidding right.... eather way that was the most disgusting thing to say!!


LOL  Did you read his profile, MS?  He likes to shock...  !!!

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 11:14:47 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: doggydog

You can't. Female dominance is so unnatural that heterosexual "dommes" are almost invariably hookers trying to make a buck off sad cases who can't face the reality of male-female nature.


Translation:  I'm ugly, unwashed or unpleasant to be around because of my bad manners and nasty attitude, and I have really poor social skills, so I can't get a date without paying for it.  A REAL dominant woman would automatically want to have kinky sex with me.  Right now, on my living room floor.  No woman wants to do that even though I've asked and asked and sent out 6,432 pictures of my hard cock in bondage to every woman on this site.  Therefore there is no such thing as a dominant woman.  

(in reply to doggydog)
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 11:19:01 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline


LOL, Charmer...   he says he's dominant and enjoys making women do all maner of bloody things while he sticks pins under their fingernails.  Uh huh... he said so!  It must be true...  Really!

bearlee

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 12:45:25 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
I agree with MasterFireMaam but I'll also add that you need to try and get involved in RL groups -- munches, organization, workshops, meetings, sloshes, conventions, and maybe a play party or a go to a club (but those two I'd save until you had some knowledge of the folks in your area).

There are a lot more groups and events than most folks know; you just have to look. Here where I am we have a yahoogroup that gets messages from 3 states and sometimes more of meetings, munches, sloshes, and events. If money and distance wasn't a big factor, I could go to two things a week.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lilboysubKC)
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 2:15:38 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
LOL, Charmer...   he says he's dominant and enjoys making women do all maner of bloody things while he sticks pins under their fingernails.  Uh huh... he said so!  It must be true...  Really!


Unfortunately I heard that the last time he tried this with his girlfriend, she made a whistling noise and flew out the window. 

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 2:22:04 PM   
sissifytoserve


Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
Ive come to the conclusion that she is going to come to you if anything.

Ultimately...when a domme looks at your profile...she is going to figure out in about 2 seconds wether
or not you are sub or slave material.

If she contacts you...you might have a chance but you should tell her the truth about what your interests are
and what you would be willing to try and what things you can compromise in order to get along.

Whatever you do..don't fake it..because wwhen the time comes...both of you have general ideas about each other.

Example: a male sub who says he is into full body whipping...and then meets a domme who cant wait
to start whipping her sub..only to find out he is not into it is an immediate relationship breaker.

Basically...be yourself..because you shouldn't want to be appreciated for something you are not. Thats a lie.




< Message edited by sissifytoserve -- 11/22/2006 2:23:19 PM >


_____________________________

A great mind must be androgynous
Samuel Coleridge

The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 2:23:28 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doggydog

You can't. Female dominance is so unnatural that heterosexual "dommes" are almost invariably hookers trying to make a buck off sad cases who can't face the reality of male-female nature.


awwwwwwwwwww..... bad prom date buddy?
 

And to the OP:  The Domme finds you..not the other way around.  This is why you need a decent profile and decent pictures. We look and if interested, we'll contact you.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 11/22/2006 2:25:43 PM >


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 2:33:41 PM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doggydog

You can't. Female dominance is so unnatural that heterosexual "dommes" are almost invariably hookers trying to make a buck off sad cases who can't face the reality of male-female nature.


It just goes to show ignorance and the need for attention is everywhere.  Another example of a male living in the dark ages where men thought they ruled, and are superior to women. Women are not second class citizens to cater to the wants and needs of a uneducated, uncaring, insensitive male such as this example.  Just another social outcast and user/abuser wanker to me. In fact, he is a disgrace to any men that are true, caring Doms as well.  And I know there are a few.
We all  know the type. Even us proud submissive men that adore and cherish the strength and power of Women.  Guys that would write garbage like this almost make me ashamed to share his gender. But then again, I am a man, he is a mere male sub species.


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"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

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RE: How Does one find a Mistress? - 11/22/2006 2:44:01 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
and here i thought "i" had problems...LOL

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Are we having fun, yet?

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