SavageFaerie
Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004 From: NYC Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead I love and adore all my CM friends and I hope that those who are in a bad place right now will have the strength and courage to do the next right thing to improve your situation. All I can offer is *hugs*, but they're full of love. Red hon, Sometimes those of us that others rely and come to expect to always vent on often never even asking how were are doing just need to be avoided at times. While at times yes thats what friends are for they forget the friends part. Luckily my calls are few except for family and thats a whole other story. I have long time friends who will only msg me to bitch about their lives Or to only talk about themseleves, that when I go on autopilot and give a nod and yeah even in an im screen. They never think to ask how my state of mind is or how dark my day. They also know that chances are I will not msg them and only those that are not too negative see me in my wee lil one group I will allow visible. The others never see me and often forget the VENTalator. This has helped always negative without caring how I am just simply not know when I am around. Whats interesting is a good number do know my number. I have one friend I met here who does call me to just see whats going on and we actually trade whats going on good or bad...I never mind her calls. Hon, my best friend in the world, while I love her to death and would never de-friend her. (long story but there is no way I would ever lose touch) While everyone I talk to is estatic that I have found my little corner of happiness after so much darkness, it so not happy with me. Why? Not because I did find it, but because I will be moving out of her area or you have to come save me, or Im breaking up mentally or physically. I lived with her and her husband for 3 years..it was good while I was there, but there is a barrier neither can ever really get over. She keeps hounding me when Im coming back, jealous when I say in all likelyhood I will just come back to get my clother and visit them, then move. She has even gone so far to suggest that I winter down south and summer up north, 2 homes? Oh hell no. I know when she actually sees me and knows that Im not be irrational she will give, but in the meantime she is making me crazy so I tend to 'miss' her messages. So I do know where your coming from, I refuse to give in to her clingyness as it is what she wants. I have found peace and happiness and for the first time in I dont remember how many years I am being completely and totally selfish. I have done my time, now like you its MY time. to add I love that I told my sister yesterday I would just be coming to get my stuff and her reaction was "Thats great" LOL
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Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.
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