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Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 7:12:01 AM

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From: Tidewater, VA
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Greetings, all-

kinda riffing off of Proud's 'personalities thread, here. Birth order has always seemed to me to be significant factor in ones personality, and I wonder if we'd find any corollation with our roles within the dynamic.

Like many things, while I do expect it to be a factor, of course, it may in fact manfest differently in any indiduval.

For myself, I am an oldest (of three), and a dominant.

who's next?

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 7:39:02 AM

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Hello,
i'm the baby of two in a second family for my father. my parents were very controlling. something that i balked at when in my teens and twenties, but kind of miss now. my brother is 4 years older, but seems just as willing to let others drive as i am. (here we go again, born or made?)

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(in reply to topcat)

RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 8:24:57 AM

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I am the baby ( have one older brother) of the family and the submissive one. I have two daughters, 25 and 28, and my guess would be the oldest is very dominant in nature and the younger one is submissive, but to my knowledge neither is into BDSM.

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 8:35:48 AM

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From: Tidewater, VA
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quote:

my guess would be the oldest is very dominant in nature and the younger one is submissive,

Midear Proud-

That's mostly what I expect to see, though of course I know many exceptions to it. Part of the probelm is that the same drives are expressed in different ways in the scene.

I am never sure if birth order is any more valid that horoscopes, but it's a hobby horse of mine.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 8:55:03 AM

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I am from a Poly Family
My Birth Father and Mother were never
married nor never lived together. My
18 siblings from My Mother and StepFather
are half sisters and brothers. My 11 siblings
on My Birthfathers side come from three different
marraiges and are half sisters and brothers.
First born of 19 sibling in nuclear Family
First born of 11 siblings in secondary Family
The first 8 children born were Girls in the nuclear
Family the first 4 in the secondary and needless
to say I was raised,worked and was treated as My
Loveing StepFathers Son He hadent had till much
later in the childbirths order while My sisters went to
school and tended to the house issues with My Mother.
I did not meet My secondary siblings untill I was an adult.
The last 4 children My Mother had were born at the same
time My first 4 children were born and were raised more'
or less together as sisters and brothers more then aunts
and uncles to neices and nephews. Now I wonder
what will Anyone take from the facts of My BirthOrder? LOL!

(in reply to topcat)

RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 9:20:30 AM

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Topcat,

I am the youngest of 4 children. My oldest brother is 12 years older than myself. Most submissive man in the world. He is'nt enlightened enough to know this. However, he does not take a pee without permission first. I've often thought of taking him and his wife to a munch.

My other brother was 10 years older than myself. He passed away when I was ten. If I had to say, he was more Dominant. He was 19 when he passed and he had his shit together. Knew exactly where he wanted to go in life and almost was already there. Just had a very good head on his shoulders.

My sister was 8 years older. Passed away two years ago. Submissive.
Married an abuser.

Then we have me. I grew up watching the choices they made. Knowing I did not want to live that life. I wanted someone to love and cherish me. Not put me down. Mom and dad never put any of us down.

By the way. Mom was dad's slave. Dad is very much a Dominant. Slave even in my definition of the term. Although mom just called it being a proper wife.

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 10:46:20 AM

perverseangelic

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well, i'm the eldest of 2 and i consider myself a submissive. i am a strong person, and a strong personality, but i've had "submissive ideas" (or something) since i was 6.

my younger sister is...i don't know what she is. very changeable.

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 10:51:43 AM

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Topcat -

I have one brother, older by 6 years, who is also in the lifestyle and is submissive.
Whereas I, the 'baby' of the family (not only my own, but the extended fmaily - I am the youngest of my generation - i.e. all my cousins are older than me - on both sides of the family), am dominant.
Mom and Dad are not into the lifestyle whatsoever.

We were not abused as children, although we were subjected to discipline and corporal punishment when we transgressed. To the best of my knowledge, we (my brother and I) were not treated differently by our parents (other than age specific issues suh as bedtimes, etc), so I an not sure what this says about the 'nature or nurture', or if you will, 'made or born' argument.

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 10:57:44 AM

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In my case, I was the first of five kids. Always wanted to lead, would lead my siblings into trouble usually. Lol.

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 4:42:36 PM

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I have one younger sister and have always looked after her.

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 6:22:54 PM

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I have one older sister who is not (far as I know) involved in the lifestyle, but she is not what I would call a Dominant individual in real life. Whether this means she would be in the lifestyle I dont know.

I have always instigated trouble, my friends generally looked to me to lead them down the paths of iniquity, and this translates into my approach to BDSM, I suppose.

Sinergy

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/5/2004 6:23:21 PM

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I'm the oldest of two. Dominant.

Like Estring I was the corruptor, although I would not call my very vanilla younger brother submissive. Domineering (but improving as he mellows with age).

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/6/2004 5:45:31 AM

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Oldest of 8.

It probably mattered more that I was the largest of 8.

I was a corruptor too. I once got my sister at about age 4 to wear a complete spaghetti dinner as 1960's dreadlocks.

My mother didn't laugh, but we kids all thought she looked just great in red.

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Birth Order? - 6/6/2004 9:26:38 AM

rain

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topcat-

i have two older sibs, one half brother, who i didn't grow up with, and my sister is only a year and a half older than me.

i am a submissive, (except for that one week out of the month <eg>) and would say my sister is Dominant, but not by necessity only. (her husband does NOT have his shit together).

My brother, i would guess could be either/or perhaps even a switch.

BTW, my mother has the dominant personality in her relationship with my dad- i think he's a wee bit of a masochist- whether or not he knows it....

~rain~

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/6/2004 9:51:54 AM

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Madame-

As this thread has progressed, it's occuring to me that while it may not so much be a factor in which side of the slash we end up on, being an eldest certainly gives us a head start on being in a lead position.

In my family (just look under 'dysfunctional' we are right there with the rest of the world <g>), as an eldest who's parents where a middle, and a youngest, I was always made responsible, but given no authority. "You aren't allowed to boss them around!" alternated with "Why did you let them do that?!" , leaving me living in a classic double bind (I am forty one now, and the twitching is barely noticable<g>), So I think that one of the things that draws me to these relations is a clear definition of authority.

I'd say that the mental contortions I had to go through to Keep my brother and sister in line, with out 'bossing them around' did provide me with the skillset to effectivly produce an desired result in a power dynamic interaction.

miss you , Bella-

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/6/2004 3:57:23 PM

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I am the oldest of 2 and a submissive. My sister is 7 years younger then me. And it seems as we were growing up I was always protecting her from something.

Even in the extended family, I am the oldest. And all things considered I am an only child.

My sister is my half-sister, and I have 2 half-brothers and 2 step-brothers.

My family was the picture of "dysfunctional".

And abuse the way of punishment. Perhaps that has something to do with it all as well.

Take care,

Attachment (1)

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/7/2004 3:30:03 AM

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i am the middle child of 7 and a submissive - i think being the middle child made me feel as if i belonged in neither group (oldest or youngest) and therefore contributed to my need to feel that i belong to someone, the need to be owned - but perhaps that is an over-simplificiation

i dont think that any of my siblings are into D/s relationships, but if i were to classify them, i would say the older 3 are definately more D than s; and that the younger 3 are definately more s than D

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/7/2004 10:23:25 AM

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I'm the oldest of four - and a switch - I think my submissive tendencies partially derive from having to be in charge all the time, and my dominant tendencies come from learning to be good at it. Expressing my submissive side allows me to let go of all of the control that I normally have to exude.

Side bar - being a single parent has a lot to do with this too, in my opinion. It's great to submit when you are normally responsible for EVERYTHING.

Attachment (1)

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/7/2004 11:42:50 AM

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Hi Lawrence;

Both I and my sub were the youngest children.
I don't know if we exhibited many or any Dominant or submissive characteristics in early life, but we both tended to want to be very independent. For me, that led to being somewhat rebellious later.
I tend to attribute this to exhaustion on our parents part (tired both of being parents and of being married, their jobs, etc.), which resulted in a parenting technique that consisted mainly of "benign neglect"....

Checkers

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RE: Birth Order? - 6/9/2004 12:53:01 AM

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I am the oldest of three and a submissive.

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