Topping from the bottom

Topping from the bottom (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

pleasingpj -> Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 8:42:22 AM)
Are there any subs out there who like to or do Top from the bottom in a Ds relationship? If so, what does this entail? Do you do it consciously or unconsciously? i have been told that i have a tendency to do this and was curious to find out if there are other subs that have this quality. All responses and insights would be appreciated. Thank you.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 8:47:57 AM)
Yes. Sometimes it was on purpose and used as a way to help train a dom. Most of the time topping from the bottom is a sign of insecurity/frustration/lack of communication, or just a dom trying to guilt a sub into being quiet. http://www.collarchat.com/m_779482/mpage_1/key_topping%252Cbottom/tm.htm#779640 Are you guilty of topping from the bottom? http://www.collarchat.com/m_556153/mpage_1/key_topping%252Cbottom/tm.htm#556372 Is this topping from the bottom? http://www.collarchat.com/m_553744/mpage_1/key_topping%252Cbottom/tm.htm#553800 Topping from the bottom? http://www.collarchat.com/m_427745/mpage_1/key_topping%252Cbottom/tm.htm#428489 Topping from the bottom...

shyinini -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 8:50:55 AM)
This morning Sir said "yes boss" to me. eeeeek!! I was telling him to get plenty of fluids cause coffee dehydrates and he loves his coffee and he has had a bit of heat stroke these last few days. When it comes to taking care of him I tend to get a bit bossy I guess. Is that still topping from the bottom? I consider topping attempting to take control and while I do not do it consciously, there are times when I can be so concerned, I just want to do something. I had learned to NOT do anything. So I bury my head, have a good cry for a bit and go on with patience. I never top during any sexual activity. Sir's property

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:08:57 AM)
I Top from the bottom for sex, although I don't identify as a submissive. Bottoming, for me, is simply a physical role. As for the mental and spiritual, I'm a Master. But, I like to have things done to me for sex. Bite me here...hold me down now...take me in this positon...Yummy. ;-) I have also bottomed in order to serve friends. These times have been either pure non-sexual service or BDSM service. I've also served someone for spiritual purposed (mostly mine...I felt lead to do it). Master Fire

SimplyMichael -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:14:44 AM)
Topping from the bottom is an interesting concept. If you are worth your salt as a dominant, how the fuck does someone top from the bottom? While it does happen I think the concept is one that is beloved of the online/chat community because it sounds simple enough for them to throw around. The ONLY way someone does that to a decent dominant isn't by talking, it is by keeping secrets out of fear of topping from the bottom. I don't want to "top from the bottom" so I won't tell him it is that time of month and my pain threshold is lower. The words he is using to humiliate me aren't erotic and he is fucking me up emotionally I am terrified of knives but if I tell him I am going to have nightmares for a month that would be topping from the bottom. I think that "topping from the bottom" is a beloved concept of beginner doms because it is an easy way of enforcing their will and or pushing past boundaries they don't like.

persiphone -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:18:15 AM)
I have seen those that do top from the bottom, verbally and emotionally. I will say this, in my view the dominant is weak and often more of a top than a dominant. The submissive is often more a switch than a submissive. One manipulating the other.

AquaticSub -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:21:59 AM)
Generally when I hear the phrase topping from the bottom is being used from a put-out dominant who doesn't want to hear that a submissive has any hard limits or from a put-out submissive who is annoyed that another sub/slave gets more freedom. I think it's overused and applied much the same way as the label "fake".

SexyRed -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:28:02 AM)
I really cannot stand that term "topping from the bottom". I was told this a week ago by a Dom I met here in person. Why? Because I kept asking him if he could talk to me during the scene. He would not do it. (ps. I asked him prior to meeting in all our phone calls if he was verbal, did he enjoy it, blah blah blah and he assured me that he was an expert in verbal and after so many phone calls, he knew my triggers verbally). So afterwards, he asked if I had a great time and I told him not really. When he asked me why, I told him the truth, that I need to hear words spoken to me to connect and that I find it erotic to be listening to my partners words. Silence to me during a scene takes away the mental aspect, which is the key to it all. And while this guy was experienced, he still said to me that I must "not really be submissive" and that I was "topping from below" simply because I answered him honestly about my needs. So my take on it is that anyone who says you are topping from below is really saying that your needs do not matter and if they do not like your reply, why ask the question.

thetammyjo -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:35:39 AM)
Fox almost get livid when he hears the phrase "topping from the bottom" or "getting uppity". I think he sees it as an attempt to belittle the input, needs and desires of people on the bottom side of the equation. For me it's a matter of intention and attitude. Someone giving me information or an opinion is not trying to top from the bottom. Something directing the action while they are on the bottom side may in reality just be a bottom and not a sub at all. Absolutely nothing wrong with being a bottom and not a sub as long as you both know what is good for your individual dynamic.

slavemaia -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 9:42:42 AM)
Interesting phrase - topping from the bottom. Once again, my opinion is, it's perspective. Communication is critical and so is honesty and not just honesty about things like are you married, are you bi, are you poly, but as another poster mentioned here - "are you verbal"? Agreements need to be honored or they can lead to what's called topping from the bottom. Chairman and i enjoy different styles of play and so there are times when i am more "challenging" to Him. This could definitely be perceived as topping from the bottom. But W/we both enjoy it. i tend to agree that a Dom or Master can only be topped if they permit it. If i get feisty with Chairman and He's not in the mood, the ultimate agreement is i will please Him and obey Him, so i am free to be who i am, do what i feel. He will tell me if He's not happy. i can't know in advance what mood He's in, nor do i believe discussing it is all that erotic - i think sometimes i just have to take a chance and let Him decide if what i'm doing is what He wants or not. Everything is written out, preplanned, guaranteed and known. So i think yes, there's always the risk of "topping from the bottom" or at least appearing so. The only time i am truly topping from the bottom is when i resist Chairman's decisions. It's not deliberately, just the challenges of learning my own slavery. i think oftentimes people can be just too caught up on words and phrases and forget we're all only human and it's called power EXCHANGE not power TRANSFER.

LadyPaige -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 1:21:33 PM)
To me "Topping from the Bottom" is a referring to manipulating to get the Master/Dom/Top to do what you want. In a purely play scene outside of a relationship, I don't think it's possible since your scene should be negotiated so that you are both getting something out of it. Inside a relationship, communication is important and I don't think communicating your needs should ever be considered "Topping from the Bottom." However, insisting or whining about them being met NOW is.

windchymes -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 1:28:19 PM)
"Topping from the bottom" is another phrase that can be used and interpreted both constructively and negatively. In reference to instructing a new Dom, it's a good thing. But I've heard it used as an insult, along with "fakes and wannabes", submissive "brats" and SAM's (Smart-Assed Masochists).

MagiksSlave -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 1:32:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Topping from the bottom is an interesting concept. If you are worth your salt as a dominant, how the fuck does someone top from the bottom? While it does happen I think the concept is one that is beloved of the online/chat community because it sounds simple enough for them to throw around. The ONLY way someone does that to a decent dominant isn't by talking, it is by keeping secrets out of fear of topping from the bottom. I don't want to "top from the bottom" so I won't tell him it is that time of month and my pain threshold is lower. The words he is using to humiliate me aren't erotic and he is fucking me up emotionally I am terrified of knives but if I tell him I am going to have nightmares for a month that would be topping from the bottom. I think that "topping from the bottom" is a beloved concept of beginner doms because it is an easy way of enforcing their will and or pushing past boundaries they don't like. Ditto!!!! Magik's slave who hates the term "topping from the bottom"

Phin -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 2:28:02 PM)
as someone that is learning the ropes I request feedback, especialy from any bottoms that I am playing with that have had alot of experience. to others it seems like topping from the bottom, to me its being sure that they are well and things are going appropriatly. I have recently started playing with a beautiful sub that goes nonverbal during scenes. this is forcing me to look for other cues. also a good thing...

texaskristy -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 3:30:33 PM)
Thank you everyone for the great explanation. I had only read negative explanations for topping from the bottom; namely that the sub was trying to control the scene and the Dom. Kristy

YourShyPet -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 3:44:42 PM)
The only time I've ever heard the phrase "Topping from the bottom" was from someone on the outside of the two or more people involved in the M/s... D/s...etc... and has always struck me as having a tattle tale tone more along the lines as if to say.... "Oh your doing it wrong". kittin

PairOfDimes -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 3:50:36 PM)
There are bottoms who like to direct scenes. In other words, there are people who like to get tied up or get spanked, and who want to be tied up or spanked in precisely the way they request. They're called "dominant bottoms." They get along well with "service tops," or "submissive tops." It's not bad, fake, or wrong at all, regardless of the experience level of the players involved. "Topping from the bottom," however, has pejorative connotations--and it's also a misnomer, as "topping from the bottom" would literally mean hitting oneself (or something close to it). Most people who like to both bottom and direct the scenes don't particularly like the phrase--and many others don't like the phrase either.

texaskristy -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/18/2007 4:09:18 PM)
PairofDimes, I didn't realize there were dominant bottoms. So dominants sometimes like to be tied up and/or spanked too?

Focus50 -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/19/2007 4:19:31 AM)
Probably every sub I've known has technically "topped from the bottom" at some stage and I don't see it as a bad thing at all. I freely admit to a fondness for a sub with some humour and mischief about her, which inevitably leads her to overstepping on occasion. And being a sarcastic prick myself, I usually pull her up with something like shyinini's example - "yes boss", etc.... I don't see the average sub as being vindictive or malicious etc, nor do I believe the ones I've known have even done it consciously. Mostly I reckon a bit of TFTB is nothing more than her checking in on me; maybe she got away with something I missed and is just testing the waters. I would imagine any D/s relationship where the sub regularly tops from the bottom has both a Dom/me and sub generally miserable within their dynamic. Focus.

ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Topping from the bottom (6/19/2007 4:43:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael Topping from the bottom is an interesting concept. If you are worth your salt as a dominant, how the fuck does someone top from the bottom? While it does happen I think the concept is one that is beloved of the online/chat community because it sounds simple enough for them to throw around. The ONLY way someone does that to a decent dominant isn't by talking, it is by keeping secrets out of fear of topping from the bottom. I don't want to "top from the bottom" so I won't tell him it is that time of month and my pain threshold is lower. The words he is using to humiliate me aren't erotic and he is fucking me up emotionally I am terrified of knives but if I tell him I am going to have nightmares for a month that would be topping from the bottom. I think that "topping from the bottom" is a beloved concept of beginner doms because it is an easy way of enforcing their will and or pushing past boundaries they don't like. Thankyou Michael- I have always said that I take 'less' that week of the month... as for 'topping' from the bottom...I have only been accused of that from on 'wannabee' dom that admitted in an email that he has trouble keeping control of a 'scene' ...I asked my friend that has been Mastering for over 30 yrs if he thinks I top from the bottom, he replied "No, you don't mind letting someone else do the driving, as long as they know where they are going" so if one truly does top from the bottom, I would imagine there is a question of total trust there...JMHO

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875