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RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/4/2007 11:56:43 PM   
cabernet


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Joined: 4/10/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: anguissette62

Interesting thread.  While I read that many folks claim to be "regularly tested," no one seems to mention what is tested, except to say it is a "complete STD panel." 

There is NO standard "complete STD panel."   In most places, requesting such an array would result in tests for HIV, syphilis and gonorrhea.  Period.   You have to request these tests individually. 

Do some googling on the subject and some of you will be a bit uncomfortable, I hope.

IMO, a "complete panel" would include not only HIV, syphilis and gonorrhea, but also Hep B and Hep C, chlamydia, herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2, chancroid, trichomonas and HPV.  There are also a number of other conditions that can be transmitted via sexual contact:  yeast infections, NGU, crabs, scabies, etc.  




it's good that you point this out. when i refer to a "complete" std screening, i'm referring to all the significant tests...chlamyida, gonorrhea, herpes, syphillis and HIV. it is true that in most places the latter 3 of those tests has to be specifically requested. fortunately my Master and i live in an area where there is a health clinic which specializes in stds, and the vast majority of the tests are free, as long as you come on particular days. we encourage others we exchange fluid with to get tested at the same location, as to do so anyplace else will be expensive, even with insurance.


Free?  Nothing is ever free!  And if you or your Master aren't paying for your tests, then most likely the rest of us are!  Those options are there for people really and truly cannot afford it.  I think it's very irresponsible and greedy that you (or your Master) should expect everyone else to pay for your freaking STD tests because he makes you have unprotected sex. 

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 12:00:00 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I was just wondering how many people here will admit to having unprotected
sex?

Done it.
quote:


Do you always have protected sex, or does it depend on the person you are with?

Except for a few times when I was young and stupid, always protected until I get an STI test and I'm sure I can trust them.
quote:


Do you insist on new partners being tested for sexually transmitted drugs?

If I plan on staying with them long enough to lose the protection.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 12:26:31 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cabernet

Free?  Nothing is ever free!  And if you or your Master aren't paying for your tests, then most likely the rest of us are!  Those options are there for people really and truly cannot afford it.  I think it's very irresponsible and greedy that you (or your Master) should expect everyone else to pay for your freaking STD tests because he makes you have unprotected sex. 


This is why I save up and eat ramen for a month if I have to get to pay for the testing at Planned Parenthood. It's expensive, but it goes to a good cause, the people are nicer, you get tested for everything and I'm not contributing to the cost of someone else's healthcare or raise in taxes.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to cabernet)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 1:12:10 AM   
Emperor1956


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Joined: 11/7/2005
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FR:  Regarding childhood vaccinations:   The law in most US states is that a child must have certain childhood vaccines prior to starting school.  Many states also require vaccinations during school years (polio/polio booster, smallpox and now HPV).  Exceptions are made for religious and specific health reasons.  In fact, all a parent has to do is state that they don't desire their child to be vaccinated. 

Katy, while I applaud the concept of reasoned "informed consent", educating yourself and your child about vaccines, the fact is simply most vaccines must be given to very young children to be effective.   DPT, for example (that's diptheria, pertussis, tetanus and it is a very controversial vaccine among the anti-vaccine movement) is first given at 2-3 months, and the majority of doses are finished before age 5.  Polio vaccine, too, is given to children.  I'm not sure that I want a seven year old debating the merits of the Salk vs. Sabin vaccine, the risk of shedding virus and immunosuppresion.

Then again (and here is where I get controversial) I would choose the seven year old over the hysteric "health concious" parent who objects to all vaccines without understanding the mechanisms, the risks and the benefits.  We have wiped out smallpox.  We have basically wiped out polio in just 50 years.  I had childhood friends in wheelchairs and one in an iron lung -- anyone else remember that scourage?  I would say to a "non-vaccinator" that to refuse to vaccinate your child is in my mind a completely selfish, thoughtless act.  You, the parent, are putting my children at risk (vaccines are not 100% effective, and one key to a population's immunity is the maintenance of a high level of vaccination.)  Moreover, you are only able to not vaccinate your child with any assurance of their safety because the rest of us parents do vaccinate their children.  You are exercising your political beliefs at the expense of me and my family.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 2:57:25 AM   
Stephann


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From: Portland, OR
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A thought came to me...

I don't suppose anyone has the statistics of the percentage of people who die hang gliding, or playing football in high school, compared to those who have unprotected sex....

Every activity in life has risks.  There are ways to reduce risk.  Pretending that one lifestyle is significantly better or worse than another, because of a diminished risk is like argueing that 1/2% milk is better than 2%.  Statistically, that really is the difference. 

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 3:16:08 AM   
nyrisa


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Joined: 11/20/2006
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(fast reply)

It is ok to discuss statistics, etc, but that is in relation to a whole population. The consequences, however, come down to the individual. It is no comfort to someone to know that that the chances of HIV are one in 500,000........if YOU are that one. Many people think that such long odds are equivalent to zero chance, personally, and take risks. Yet people line up to buy lottery tickets, with odds of winning being about one in fourteen million, and think, "well, someone will win, it COULD be me!". We interpret odds and risks according to what we HOPE will happen, and according to what fits with what we want to do.

I personally don't want to end up being one of the 0.6% of the population who has HIV. I don't want my kids to be left without a parent because I chose to enjoy a risky lifestyle. I also don't skydive for the same reason. I am not sure what the percentage of skydivers who die or suffer a crippling injury is, but I know some do, and to me, the fun is not worth the risk.

(Aswad, I used a statistic from your post, but only in reference to how I interpret it on my gut level, not in argument, etc. Please excuse me if I interpreted it incorrectly.)

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 3:41:15 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cabernet

And if you or your Master aren't paying for your tests, then most likely the rest of us are!  [...] I think it's very irresponsible and greedy that you (or your Master) should expect everyone else to pay for your freaking STD tests because he makes you have unprotected sex. 


Come on...

The reasons why these tests are provided free of charge is very simple: HIV is a public health matter. By taking these free tests, they are using the programme for what it is there for: containment. It is using society's resources to protect society. Just think about it for a second. The STD tests are detection, not treatment. You can't stop after you have contracted an STD and then not have it anymore. All they do is let you know you pose an additional risk to others. Then you can avoid passing it on.

Does it come out of the collective pool? Yes.
Does it contribute to the collective? Yes.
Does it help the individual? No.

It is the responsible thing to do, as it lets you confine your risk to yourself, and lets others know what level of risk they are taking if they choose to expose themselves to infection by having unprotected sex with you. It isn't as if they are forcing people to. And encouraging others to take the tests, and providing them with information about places where they will actually take them, rather than thinking them too expensive, cannot IMO be considered anything but a public service.

It helps contain the disease, which is why the service is provided in the first place.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to cabernet)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 3:55:30 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

(fast reply)

It is ok to discuss statistics, etc, but that is in relation to a whole population. The consequences, however, come down to the individual. It is no comfort to someone to know that that the chances of HIV are one in 500,000........if YOU are that one. Many people think that such long odds are equivalent to zero chance, personally, and take risks. Yet people line up to buy lottery tickets, with odds of winning being about one in fourteen million, and think, "well, someone will win, it COULD be me!". We interpret odds and risks according to what we HOPE will happen, and according to what fits with what we want to do.

I personally don't want to end up being one of the 0.6% of the population who has HIV. I don't want my kids to be left without a parent because I chose to enjoy a risky lifestyle. I also don't skydive for the same reason. I am not sure what the percentage of skydivers who die or suffer a crippling injury is, but I know some do, and to me, the fun is not worth the risk.

(Aswad, I used a statistic from your post, but only in reference to how I interpret it on my gut level, not in argument, etc. Please excuse me if I interpreted it incorrectly.)


Hey, your feelings are cool.  Nobody is saying you can't wear a condom. 

I'm saying the hysteria, also, isn't cool.

Anyone who is serious about wanting to improve the amount of time they live, should instead give up their keys.  You could sleep with a new person each week, the rest of your life, without protection, and it still wouldn't come even close to the risk you take very time you get behind the wheel.  If you're an individual who enjoys a glass of beer or wine more than once a week, that risk doubles.  If you smoke, that risk becomes even greater.  Etc etc.

The question isn't 'is it risky.'  The question becomes 'what risk am I willing to take, personally, to enjoy my life.'  Hysteria over anyone elses risks are foolish. 

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 4:30:57 AM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

We interpret odds and risks according to what we HOPE will happen, and according to what fits with what we want to do.


You may do that. In fact, most probably do that. Which does not translate into eliminating choice. Protecting the population from itself can only be accomplished by a totalitarian state. And it deprives the person of individual responsibility. I think one could even go so far as to say that a lot of the ills in society are because people are pampered in this way, isolated from the decision-making process and the consequences of their actions.

Take cricket. If you've ever done the math, you know a cricket ball packs a wallop. It can easily break your arm. So in the beginning, people paid attention to the ball, taking the risk-aware approach to it. At some point, someone came up with the brilliant idea of adding helmets and other protective gear. Then people started feeling safe. So they stopped paying attention to the ball. It doesn't help much that you're wearing a helmet with a 1 inch clearing to your skull when the ball puts a 2-3 inch dent in it.

quote:

I personally don't want to end up being one of the 0.6% of the population who has HIV.


Who does? Then again, do you drive a car? Would really suck to be one of those in the population who are in a serious car crash. Have electricity? Would not want to be one of those who get electrocuted, or die in an electrical fire. How about pregnancy? If I were a woman, I'd hate to die in childbirth. But it's all a matter of risks: awareness, mitigation and tradeoff.

Projected long-term survival rate for the individuals of a population is 0%

What you get to do, is throw the dice. To take calculated risks, and do a balancing act between having a life and simply living. In the end, all you're really changing, is what the coroner's report will list under "cause of death" (picking your risks), and how long it will be until your next of kin get to put you in the ground (mitigating them and rolling the dice). Oh, and whether they remember you as someone who did everything to avoid dying but failed in the end, or as someone who was not afraid to live.

It may not be your thing, and it isn't mine, either. But all of us make choices.

quote:

(Aswad, I used a statistic from your post, but only in reference to how I interpret it on my gut level, not in argument, etc. Please excuse me if I interpreted it incorrectly.)


No problem. The interpretation was close enough. A simple breakdown goes like this:

Statistics are not a crystal ball. You can get HIV the first time someone got a defective condom, or you can spend your life in a continuous orgy of unprotected sex with HIV-infected people without getting it. What statistics tell you, is your level of risk, as determined by examining large numbers of cases.

This is why I said "flip of a coin".

There is an element of chance to it, always. Such is the reason we call it a risk. But after giving 750.000 (my previous figure was misstated) blowjobs to random strangers, an impressive feat in its own way, there is a flip-of-a-coin (fifty-fifty) chance that you will have contracted HIV. Doing it once puts it at one in 1.5 million, which is slightly more likely than winning the first price in a large lottery with a single ticket.

As you say, people tend to think of vanishingly small odds (and sometimes even much greater odds) in terms of "it won't happen to me", which is wrong. It probably won't, but if it does, that sucks. Shit happens. But you could have been hit by a car, too. So, there's no more or less to complain about. You knew the odds, you took them, you lost. It happens. To correct slightly for how people often don't get that, I simplified it to how many times you have to do it to get to a fifty-fifty chance.

(Well, technically, I fudged it, as I couldn't be bothered to calculate the cumulative probability, but it's close enough and starts from real figures; anyone who takes their risk evaluation off an Internet forum without doing some checking on their own will be nominated for the Darwin awards eventually, in any case.)

Hope this clarifies.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 1:42:49 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
Thank you for clarifying, Aswad. I may not always agree with everything you say, but I appreciate the analytical detail with which you present your views, and I value your opinions.

I like this statement you made:

"What you get to do, is throw the dice. To take calculated risks, and do a balancing act between having a life and simply living. In the end, all you're really changing, is what the coroner's report will list under "cause of death"

Mind if I quote it at some point?

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to Aswad)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 3:00:07 PM   
Aswad


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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Feel free to quote anything you find to your liking.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 3:39:34 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72

I was in what I thought was a faithful marriage and ended up with two stds and one of them I got twice..I am thankful they were the type that were curable...there is no guarantee except DEATH in this life...


My husband says there are three truths in life.  One:  Everything we put out to the universe comes back to us.  Two:  We all die.  Three:  Donna loves me.

I just thought of that when I read your post...it always makes me feel so amazing to here him say that (he's right by the way)

and OP...yep.  I have two UMs.  No protection then.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/5/2007 4:57:30 PM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
I guess Im what youd call one of them swingers out there.....

When my Sir and I first met, almost 5 years ago, we both got tested within the first month of dating...we also continued to have protected sex for about the first 8 months of our relationship (yes oral too)..only stopping the condom wearing after a second test. Yes, we do more than the three basic tests but I couldnt tell you now what they all are, we go to our personal doctors, not the health clinics though. After those 8 months, we have continued to have unprotected sex with each other each and every day...and sometimes twice on sundays...I wouldnt have my two beautiful babies if we were still using condoms. (we do still use condoms for anal though..cause it just makes for easier clean up)

I have had unprotected sex before, when I was younger, I thought birth control was the important thing and I was stupid and also very very lucky. I wanted to mention that I had my oldest son on birth control, taking the pill regularly isnt always fool proof either.

Now, we have protected sex with anyone but each other, every single time. I dont care how long we have known them or how often we have had sex with them. I have recently learned about those new polyurethane condoms....they taste a whole lot better so Im definantly happier about that...but I was always willing to taste rubber if I had to. We went to our first actual swingers "club" this past week...and there were bowls of condoms everywhere. I never saw anyone complain about wearing them or even act like they were surprised it was expected. Up until recently all of our swinging was done within a very tight knit circle of friends...thanks to some hints about websites to check out from people here on collarme, we've been branching out and meeting alot of really great people. I have never talked to anyone who didnt expect and even insist on condom use. Maybe that has something to do with the caliber of people we choose to swing with, im sure there are plenty who dont care...but I havent run into them yet.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/6/2007 1:03:08 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cabernet

Free?  Nothing is ever free!  And if you or your Master aren't paying for your tests, then most likely the rest of us are!  Those options are there for people really and truly cannot afford it.  I think it's very irresponsible and greedy that you (or your Master) should expect everyone else to pay for your freaking STD tests because he makes you have unprotected sex. 



ummm...huh???? the services provided at the std clinic are indeed free, and are open to any and everyone who wishes to take advantage of them. my Master and i are not robbing taxpayers. in fact, everytime we go the doctors and nurses encourage us to spread the word about the clinic, because very, very few people take advantage of the free testing...some days my Master and i have been the only appointments. it is a community-wide service, in the middle of the 'burbs, not a service intended only for the poor or disadvantaged, but absolutely everyone who would like to know their status or be treated for std's and sti's. the sad thing is that it seems most people don't want to know.

(in reply to cabernet)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/16/2007 7:30:11 PM   
Vigilantejustice


Posts: 106
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline
I would absolutely have my daughters vaccinated. Even if I vaccinate them early, and then they have to do it again 5 years down the line (I'm not sure about how long the vaccine is effective for.) that is still 5 years in which I can be confident that if my daughter has sex she will be as protected as the vaccine is good for. People who oppose the vax for minors don't seem to understand that not all underage sex is consensual. Talk about adding insult to injury. Sometimes you have to plan for the worst in order to protect the people you care about. You don't plan to get into a crash, but you wear your seatbelt anyway, right?
My 2p,
Justice

(in reply to zindyslave)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Unprotected Sex - 8/17/2007 8:45:19 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
Glad to see this thread is still around.
Unprotected sex is something that I rarely see talked about
on these forums.
Let's keep this thread going.

(in reply to Vigilantejustice)
Profile   Post #: 116
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