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venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:17:19 AM   
justbeingme2007


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline 		please allow me to vent here. this isnt in any way shape or form at a attempt at attention seeking. but i really wished to get others opinions with whom have real life expernece with real bi polar. ( PERSONAL experence)

i am 42, i am bi polar( dignoased when i was 19 after having a baby) i have been on and off meds  many times after that.. ( MOST bi polars go thru this .. for us its a normal thing) i spent many years trying to prove i WASNT bi polar due to the stigma of it.
right now i am getting ready to deal with some health issues in sept ( surgery for female things, then  a foot issue) the dr took me off meds for this and placed me on steriods.. and i had MASSIVE weight gain... my isse is i had been in a prior realionship that i was FULLY aware of his marital status( he was married but....) but  was told lies surrounding it. there are kid(s) involved  and would take alot of time to get thru this.. we had been friends first then it led to more. ( again MY FAULT) from start to end it lasted over a year.... mean while the vanilla wife found out all of the info. he says he fessed up to all of the truth but i see thru out all the eletronic emails and word bashing that there are still many thigs that arent beign told the truth... i have been staying back and asking  the best way i can with out beign a rude total bitch to leve me alone and let it go i am sorry but it happened and lets just move on please. but the wife now has gone into the lifestyle as his slave/wife and have now brought others to involve me  and started a big campain to ruin my rep all over the state and to each and every one that i can know... to the point of purposely finding any group or list i am on just to get back at me more... the issue with this is due to the dr taking me off meds and all the personal crap going on.. its caused me to go into a slight bit of depression i asked the dr to put me back on meds he said that staying off my meds and getting them out of my system before surgery is what is needed. the problem is i cant deal with to much more with out beign disrespectful to the ones that are gettign to me.... i was taught that beign disrespectful isnt a option  just to *PAY* back or to get one up ... i was told by my true friends to lay low and let it all slide.. meanwhile its really taking its toll on me and my family.. ( yes they even threated to get to my family kids and  everyone)... i guess i ask.. do i fight or flight.. would rahter be honorable and respectful than be known as the one who had to prove herself  in the end....btw if you are not fully knowegable of how bi polar is or works please dont give me crap... reading what it means and being around a bi polar person is TWO differnt things.. and NOT all bi polar persons act or are alike ever...thanks for allowing me to vent.... Teri
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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:28:40 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Not quite sure of the connection between being bi-polar and you seeing a married man

Are you saying you met this guy after you were taken off the drugs and that's what made you go to him?

Anywhoooo...seems like you're being harrassed....have you tried talking to anyone in law enforcement or the legal field?   Especially if she is threatening your family

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:29:45 AM   
onegoodgirl


Posts: 126
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Exercise - go for a walk, or a run. Clear your head. Reject drama/bullshit and focus on what's important - you and your family.

Everybody has stress, bipolar or not.


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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:36:01 AM   
laineyjade


Posts: 56
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think being bipolar makes a difference in what is the best thing to do, the people harrassing you are drama queens and I've seen this all before, they will be seen through as they keep hounding someone on all lists and groups, they will bury themselves. All of this without you having to do anything except to ignore them as best you can. If you try to "fight back" it's what they hope you will do, and will keep dragging you deeper into it. You have enough on your plate as is, and need to reserve your energy for your own life.

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:41:18 AM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laineyjade

I don't think being bipolar makes a difference in what is the best thing to do, the people harrassing you are drama queens and I've seen this all before, they will be seen through as they keep hounding someone on all lists and groups, they will bury themselves. All of this without you having to do anything except to ignore them as best you can. If you try to "fight back" it's what they hope you will do, and will keep dragging you deeper into it. You have enough on your plate as is, and need to reserve your energy for your own life.


totally agree with all of this....I don't know what you mean by her "threatening" your family....but if that is the case I would still talk to someone in law enforcement.  Going after you through some juvenile gossip is one thing, but going after your kids is something else.

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:42:04 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I am not familiar with bipolar patients being taken off all meds prior to surgery. I can see one medication being substituted for another, for a specific reason, but most doctors are well aware of the havoc that can be caused by disrupting the medication of someone who is stable on the current meds. Was it the surgeon who advised this? If so, I would recommend that you speak to your psychiatrist for advice about the meds. Steroids often cause mood swings, sleep problems, nervousness and irritability, so that certainly compounds the problem.

As for the situation with the slave/wife telling tales about you to others in the lifestyle, I can only advise you to speak privately and calmly with the leaders of your bdsm group and explain the situation. Messy breakups are encountered in every group, and it won't be the first time that an angry lover has attempted this kind of thing.

Definitely speak with your psychiatrist about the depression and stress. And I hope your surgery and recovery go smoothly.

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A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 6:59:02 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Listen to the advice of your true friends and lay low and let it slide.  You say you have surgery coming up, forget about all the drama and "lifestyle" stuff and focus on your family and getting through the surgery and getting healthy again.  They are a lot more important in the grand scheme than what a bunch of gossipy, attention-seeking "lifestylers" do and say.  Threats against your family are most likely just a bunch of hot air to frighten you, and obviously, they're succeeding. 

It's unlikely they're going to actually do something to physically harm your family.  Even if they do, just tell the police you had an affair with the husband and the wife is seeking revenge.  That the affair is ended and you're trying to put it behind you.  D/s doesn't even have to enter into it.  Since the ex and wifey know you know their names and where they live, it's really unlikely they're going to risk having the police get involved.  But if they do do something, then get the police involved. 

D/s is not the most important thing in the world.  Family and health is.  Please focus on that for now, ok?

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 10:28:37 AM   
zindyslave


Posts: 601
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		I am bipolar and I have had to deal with people that have wanted to start stuff because for one reason or another they didn't like me. I the best thing to do is ignore it..I know that is easier said than done.. but as the people before me said the best thing to do now is focus on your health. If they contact you from a group you are in block them.... ignore them and people that really no you won't pay any attention to it, and if people do pay attention to it and beleive it then they really aren't interested in the whole story and aren't worth you wasting your energy on. I would like to know why they took you off your meds.... it is hard enough to keep bipolar people on meds as it is... I really don't get them taking you off of them.

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 12:51:22 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I really have no sympathy at all for people whose escapades in cheating don't go the way they want. You may not like what I have to say but you made the choice to get involved with a married man. You had to know that when people get cheated on they usually get pissed off about it and sometimes retaliate in malicious ways. It was a risk that you chose to accept. She's not ruining your reputation, you did. It was your choice. Being bipolar does not excuse infidelity.

Suggestion for the future, learn the lessons and think about this should you ever have to choose whether or not to sleep with someone involved in a relationship again.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 1:50:17 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Go for a second opinion. Taking a bipolar off the meds is never the right thing to do. Especially for what appears to be an unknown amount of time. The surgeon and your psychiatrist need to work together, if the surgeon refuses to talk to your psychiatrist and follow his/her recommendations then find a different surgeon.

You are having health problems now and for the foreseeable future. So you won't be attending any functions anyway. Drop contact with all groups until you are well again. Considering the wife got into this just to keep him, the odds are she'll be long gone in six months anyway.

Going on and off your medications is stupid, so is getting involved with someone who lied to you. Do smart things in the future.

Go to your lawyer, explain you had a brief affair with a man who told you he was separated and that his wife has been spreading lies about you, threatening your family, have him send a letter threatening legal action if she doesn't stop.

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 2:16:06 PM   
Cipherx


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		Double read what Celeste43 had to say.  I worked in the mental health field for 10 years and she pretty well nailed it.  Never go off your meds without your psychiastrist advising it.  If the surgeon doesn't agree , find another one.  Bipolars who go manic love the way it feels but often get psychotic and frequently paranoid.  Taking meds is a downer but it is what is needed.

Don't concern yourself with other problems until your meds are working.  Without your meds, you aren't equiped to deal with them.  It is a hard life but there is nothing you can do but deal with it.  Doing without your meds is the worst possible choice.

(in reply to justbeingme2007)
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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 2:26:54 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		For you harassment problem, go to the authorities.  But as for the cheating and having it come back to bite you in the ass... that has nothing to do with your being bipolar. Being bipolar doesnt take away your ability to tel right from wrong, since you aparently know things were wrong when you did them. Granted, being off meds makes it HARDER to makethe right decisions, but you still have to deal with the fallout.
I am diagnosed bipolar, and off meds for years becasue they didnt help even when I was on them. I have learned that my disorder is not an excuse to do stupid things. Thats where tose stigmas come from. Those who do not understand the disorder know that many use it as an excuse for behaving badly and assume thats what we all do.  Its HARDER for us to fight the impulses sometimes, but we have to do it ourselves.  Medications do mot make it all better all the time, and if we have to be off them we have ot be bale to cope with life normally.
Just my 2 cents
DV


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(in reply to Cipherx)
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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 2:45:03 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		Am I the only person who is wondering why steroids would treat manic depression?

Your surgeon should talk to your psych.  Your surgeon is not qualified to advise you on psych meds, just as your psych is not qualified to advise you on surgery.  But they can work together.

If you're already off the meds though, going back on can be hard.  With something like Lithium, for example, effectivness is diminished if you stop taking and then resume treatment.  Which is why you have to *stick with it*.

Sometimes, for some patients, if you experience depressive symptoms but no traces of mania, you can be proscribed low doses of an anti-depressant, usually an SSRI (citalopram or fluoxitine/prozac), but the dose has to be kept low, as it can trip a manic respose.

You have lots of coping mechanisms for depression and mood swings, you've been using them for most of your life.  Now is a time to keep using them.  Whatever you do to relax, draw, sport, sing, read, bake...try it.  Learn a new skill.  (I've found that when I really can't focus reading in a foreign language helps.)

It's great you've noticed the down swing, report it to your psych as well, see what they have to say.

(in reply to Cipherx)
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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 7:32:19 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I think the steriods are for her foot?  Probably as an anti-inflammatory.



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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 8:05:22 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have had a number of dealings with people with bi polar, and as a result read Kay Redfield Jamieson's "The Unquiet Mind." It's brilliant, and most affirming. The thing she most stresses, as both a sufferer and a therapist, is that you NEVER go off the meds. Not ever. Never.

You've already been given the best advice - go back on the meds and wait until you're back on them to deal with the rest of the mess. Right now, you are literally not in your right mind. (And by the way, time will solve a lot of it anyway)

Big hugs.

:))
LH

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/20/2007 8:16:39 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I also recommend her other books:

Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament

Night Falls Fast  (tread carefully if you are easily triggered, it is about suicide)




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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/21/2007 12:36:10 AM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not touching this one with a pole, except to reiterate:
  1. Get back on the meds ASAP.
  2. Go see the psychiatrist ASAP.
  3. Get him / her in the loop ASAP.
  4. Make people talk to each other.
There is nothing else to say that is relevant at until those stages are completed.
You are not equipped to deal with this at the moment.
Do not compound the problems.
Hope this helps.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/21/2007 1:19:09 AM   
subjected2006


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		the bi polar issue aside..this man is a total jerk for not attempting to bring his wife into the life FIRST,didnt he know he was a Master when he married?
If his wife is so insecure in her place that she feels this revenge is owed her I would say that you need to  stay away from them.Period.
and what member of BDSM is going to be so pompous as to judge you for being with a married man anyways ?
all over the state?
me thinks you are overstating this a bit.
Be sure that both Dr.s know your needs.
My surgeon found I was diabetic last year and didnt tell me or my family Dr..I was a year with untreated diabetes.
Get back on those meds ..
And yes ,,I have a lot of girl friends(four) who I have gone through "on the meds off the meds" with..
hugz







Get on the meds..stay on them..practise descretion ..

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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/21/2007 6:51:56 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subjected2006
and what member of BDSM is going to be so pompous as to judge you for being with a married man anyways

practise descretion ..


Where did you get the impression that being involved in BDSM makes cheating acceptable? Discretion? That's just another way of saying do it covertly and don't get caught.

Some of us in BDSM actually prefer and practice honesty and integrity. Really.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to subjected2006)
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RE: venting about bi polar and personal life.. - 7/21/2007 7:21:11 PM   
lilypad1951


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		Quite honestly, I would want to get another opinion on the steroids, the dose, and why you are really taking them.  Unfortunately most people,like you, do not ask "why" - make them explain why (e.g. you are on these meds).  All of the side effects etc. should have been described to you.  I am trying to imagine what you would have wrong with your foot that would require steroids/ or is it your 'female' issues.  Most frequently surgeons don't prescribe steroids, rather they would request a medical consult.  Giving steroids is not done, or shouldn't be done, on a whim.  It takes serious thought to give steroids, because of the consequences.  The surgeon had no right whatsoever to take you off of your lithium; I would certainly want to give him/her second thoughts.  Obviously you and your personal safety were not high on his/her priority list. 

I have to agree with all of the previous advice you were given.  I guess you also maybe should have a look at what in you made you get involved with someone who was married.  When men/women run around on their partners, I have to say I have little or no respect for them.  So possibly you need to look at how you feel about yourself - why accept a jerk like him.  Feel good about yourself, and then you will find someone who is really interested in you for yourself.  If you don't love yourself, who else will.

All the best.
Lily

(in reply to mistoferin)
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