RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice please?

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/10/2007 6:27:09 PM

Aswad

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Google for "KAP list" or "kink aware professionals" ... there is indeed a list of them.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/11/2007 5:17:39 AM

NovelApproach

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Kink-aware Professionals. Dunno if its the best list out there, but its not bad, either.

http://www.ncsfreedom.org/kap/

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/23/2007 5:27:57 PM

kikinymph

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I had a new physcian (well physcian's assistant), and took advantage of the fact that my Owner/husband was out of the state to let him know about our lifestyle. I made sure that I told him that it was consensual, that I, in fact, had brought up the whole BDSM stuff to my husband (LOL).
All in all, the PA took it well, saying that while he didn't approve, he wouldn't let it affect my ability to access healthcare through him, the clinic, or his treatment of me. Guess it could have been worse.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/25/2007 2:43:49 AM

LivingInSin

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wow! like being in the hospital isnt bad enough, let them throw your daddy in jail. cause ya that will so not stress you out. ive been diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorders. when i told my doctor about my choice in lifestyles he put a memo in the front of my medical recods- also input in the computer system - should i be admitted unconcious to call him ASAP. no details or anything. just that. i was surprised at how comforting it was to have that there.
as far as you mom goes you may just want to mention to you doctor....totally stress it here......that you DO NOT want your mom to know and that this is also covered by the doctor/patient confidentiaily.
Good Luck.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/28/2007 6:42:23 PM

valkyriesdaughte

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

What an uninformed response. Let's start with my state, the only one i know about well enough to comment on. BECAUSE battered partners often either recant their stories or out and out lie to authorities, the police actually press the charges of assault and battery here with the thought being "it's for your own good". Now judgement always comes into play, but all it really takes for trouble is one nurse etc who decides this is "wrong" and the police are called in, and once again it's a crap shoot whether it goes past that.

There is no real way to protect against everything that can happen. We all know there are risks and they are not always physical.

In defense of my nursing colleagues everywhere: Yes, i supposse it's feasible for "one nurse" to take it upon herself to start a federal case out of something, BUT: health care institutions have an ongoing love affair with self written policies. They also like the "important people" to get to feel important occassionally. The majority- if not all- institutional policies regarding the reported of suspected abuse of patients, adult or children, are very specific, generally:

1. Assess the situation: not only the presenting physical system, but teh interaction between the possible victim and significant others/family members present. Others can be excused fromt eh room by healthcare personnel, and the patient tactfuly questioned alone. This usually yields the most usuable info: if someone is being honest about falling down, running into the wall, or playing rough, they tend to answer without hesitancy. If they look at the floor, emphatically deny, or can't seem to remmeber how they got the bruises, the red flag goes up. (i.e.- the self written policy)

2. Once the flag goes up, the suspicions are reported to the attending physician and nursing supervisor, they can either further evaluate the situation, or ask for the crisis team or social worker to assess the situation.( the important people feeling important)

3. ONLY when there is a valid reason with corrabating evidence, are law enforcement called. Really- no one wants to bother the boys and girls in blue unneccessarily, it makes them cranky.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/29/2007 12:32:20 PM

bliss1

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I was just blunt with my doc.

I like kinky sex and I bruise easily - do you have a problem with that?

It was the end of the conversation.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/29/2007 12:45:27 PM

AquaticSub

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~Fast Reply~

I just told my doctor "My boyfriend and I like to play really really rough so if you see anything don't worry about it. I loved it." They made the little note in their pad and we moved on.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 8/29/2007 7:34:43 PM

Celeste43

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Going on the fact that you have some mood disorders, I am assuming you see a therapist. If the therapist is aware of your activities, as mine is, then it would be difficult to have any psychiatrist hired by someone else to declare you incompetent and unable to give consent when your therapist would testify to her knowledge of your activities and that they have not added to your difficulties.

If you see a psychiatrist for medication, then you would wish to inform him also of your liking of kink. A psychiatrist with whom you have a history, will be given more credence by the court than one who has never met you before and with whom you have refused to discuss anything.

Obviously gross negligence would get someone in trouble, but accidents happen and your matter of fact discussions of marks will be the deciding factor.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/6/2007 8:38:32 AM

SlaveSuru

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I came out to my doctor about three months after my Master and i were together. I was sooo scared because he has been my doctor since I was 15 and he knows my mother. He's this little Indian guy and when I told him that I might occasionally have marks because of the nature of my relationship he took it in stride and said " Don't worry you're not the first kinky person I've had in my office And don't worry about me telling your mother either, Doctor patient confidentiality and all that". I breathed a bg sigh of relief! If your doctor overreacts find one that won't!

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/15/2007 1:28:39 PM

bottombob

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your both adults, don't worry heck your doctor might want to try too..

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/16/2007 12:47:27 AM

sinbetweens

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Ask your local kinksters if they know any doctors that are friendly to the idea. Several of my friends and I all go to the same GP, who's great about weird sex. One of my friends told her she'd bled quite a bit after being fisted a few days previously, and Doc didn't an eye (though she did pull out the speculum).

If none of your friends have suggestions, the gay community often flocks to certain doctors that are accepting of "alternative lifestyles" and are aware of unusual sexual risks. If you don't have ties to the gay community, hit up your local GLBT resources. A lot of communities have guides to gay-friendly businesses, resources... and doctors.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/17/2007 12:30:30 PM

briska

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I remember one time my Sir decided to brand my inner thighs with His violet wand & a pair of dental picks he just got. I wouldn't sit still enough for him to make his initials, so he just marked me up a whole bunch instead. About a day or two later, I had a lady's doctor appointment and was totally mortified about having to explain why i have these weird scratches/burns... but turns out, she pretty much ignored them. (Then again, I am in college, so anything's possible...)

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/20/2007 3:54:13 PM

MistressSassy66

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I feel its very important your Doctor know about your activities,not all the details but the basics.
I always make sure when I discuss BDSM with My Doc I expressly say,this is confidential information.Even though they are bound by certain laws,I find Myself more secure stressing that to Her.

Luckily I have a wonderful Doc who is openminded and is always looking out for My best interests.

I encourage not only My submissives but everyone to be open.
Afterall its your life your dealing with.I know I dont want to spend Mine in jail.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/21/2007 6:01:21 PM

efficaceous

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You could also get one of the medical ID bracelets or necklaces and put BDSM on it or something.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/22/2007 5:49:24 AM

Alumbrado

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I like that idea a lot.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/22/2007 6:12:05 AM

julietsierra

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I told my doctor about my proclivities and interests.

I have found that my level of care has diminished significantly, to the point that I recently had a urinary tract infection and have been in and out of his office for months complaining that I really thought I had a UTI. At no time during those months did he even do a simple urine scan. It wasn't until I was severely ill running a temp of 104 that his colleague did a blood test and discovered that I had an infection of some sort. He asked for a urine sample and it was very evident that this had been allowed to become very dangerous.

I'm currently looking for a new doctor.

juliet

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/26/2007 9:23:10 PM

Textasy

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I recently graduated from a Family Nurse Practitioner program. My education included a 'down and dirty' lecture on alternative lifestyles: what problems you'll see, how to counsel them and how to treat them. I can only hope our physican counterparts are getting the same kinda education!

Yes, that makes me a Kink-Friendly Professional!

Oh, and I'd certainly recommend coming clean to your health care provider. You don't have to go into all the details, but you need to give enough information that they can counsel you because certain behaviors can cause specific problems (like harness hang syndrome in those who are into suspension). If that practitioner is worth their weight, they won't judge you. Worst, they should tell you they don't agree with what you're doing, advise you of the risks (the majority of which you should already know), and customize your care to include your alternative lifestyle, just as they would anything else.

And if they don't 'know' of what you speak? Educate them!

< Message edited by Textasy -- 9/26/2007 9:30:42 PM >

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 9/27/2007 9:03:03 AM

worththeeffort

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i always let my dr's know ahead of time. Never made a big deal of it. Just tell them that i will probably have lots of bruises and weird marks on me, and it's ok. If they press farther, a simple "what can i say? i like it rough" and a wink is all the explanation most of them need. i once went in, saw my dr, finished up with that, and they sent the phlebotomist in to draw my blood for some tests. i was wearing a sweater i couldn't push the arm up high enough in, so i took it off (i had a cami underneath) at the time i was covered in bruised on my neck, chest, arms, shoulders, everywhere. The kid gasped, got this real concerned look on his face, put a hand on my arm and asked "Sweetie, has someone been hitting you?" i couldn't help but chuckle, and told him "No, someone's been biting me." He looked a little confused, so i explained a little further, he sat down and we had a good 30 minute or so conversation about BDSM. Finally a nurse walks in to find out what's taking so long and he tells her "She's telling me all about kinky sex! Wanna hear?" Cracked me up. When he finally got around to drawing my blood he did the standard "You're gonna feel a little pinch"............(paused and said)...... "but you'll probably like it." i could not stop laughing.

~kitty

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 10/3/2007 10:29:35 PM

searching4moreak

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Ponders if her HMO covers this lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

And think about this -- you consented to being spanked, whipped, etc. You didn't consent to the suspension rig failing and you falling 15 feet to the ground on the hardwood floor, cracking your skull open and breaking an arm. There are things that can happen that your document cannot possibly take into account.

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RE: "Comming out" to one's doctor...advice pl... - 10/10/2007 5:33:42 PM

KennelMaster05

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Ok, I have skimmed through this thread, but it is getting very lengthy so I may just start a new one. Let's see how this flys...
I have been in this lifestyle for over 15 years, but soon I will have my first 24/7 slave living with me. We are both very excited about this new arrangement as we have been just friends for almost two years now.

So the situation is that I am only her second Dom/Master. Her first Master was quite sadistic and she has several scars and burn marks on her body. Since she is moving to live with me, she will need to find a new doctor here.
Now, the question is, what do I need to do to protect myself? I dont want the new doc to see her prior scars and think I was the one that gave them to her.

Thoughts? Thanks!

< Message edited by KennelMaster05 -- 10/10/2007 5:34:28 PM >

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