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RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:35:27 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

  1. Compliment her,
  2. Respect her,
  3. Honour her,
  4. Cuddle her,
  5. Kiss her, caress her,
  6. Love her, stroke her,
  7. Tease her,
  8. Comfort her,
  9. Protect her,
  10. Hug her,
  11. Hold her,
  12. Spend money on her,
  13. Wine and dine her,
  14. Buy things for her,
  15. Listen to her,
  16. Care for her,
  17. Stand by her,
  18. Support her,
  19. Hold her,
  20. Go to the ends of the Earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

  1. Show up naked.
  2. Bring food.


_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to CrimsonMoan)
Profile   Post #: 34161
RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:37:30 AM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
  1. Show up naked.
  2. Bring food.




or, apparently, boobie shots...i've met some boobs in my life...do those count??

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 34162
RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:37:41 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		How is a woman like a condom?


Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 34163
RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:39:17 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		What do women and prawns have in common?



Their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste great

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 34164
RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:40:34 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		What's the best thing about a blow job?


Ten minutes of silence.

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 34165
RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:41:39 AM   
ghitaPVH


Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		Can you tell my Daddy enjoys telling sexist jokes? I have more...

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to ghitaPVH)
Profile   Post #: 34166
RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:44:07 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline
WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN

  • "I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
  • "Let's take your car." Really means.... "Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."
  • "Woman driver." Really means.... "Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."
  • "I don't care what color you paint the kitchen." Really means.... "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
  • "It's a guy thing." Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
  • "Can I help with dinner?" Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
  • "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really mean.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.
  • "Good idea." Really means.... "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."
    · "Have you lost weight?" Really means.... "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."
  • "My wife doesn't understand me." Really means.... "She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
  • "It would take too long to explain." Really means.... "I have no idea how it works."
  • "I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means.... "The batteries in the remote are dead."
  • "I got a lot done." Really means.... "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."
  • "We're going to be late." Really means.... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
  • "Hey, I've read all the classics." Really means.... "I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."
  • "You cook just like my mother used to." Really means.... "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."
  • "I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind." Really means.... "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."
  • "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means.... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
  • "That's interesting, dear." Really means.... "Are you still talking?"
  • "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means.... "I forgot our anniversary again."
  • "You expect too much of me." Really means.... "You want me to stay awake."
  • "It's a really good movie." Really means.... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
  • "That's women's work." Really means.... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
  • "Will you marry me?" Really means.... "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
  • "Go ask your mother." Really means.... "I am incapable of making a decision."
  • "You know how bad my memory is." Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
  • "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
  • "Football is a man's game." Really means.... "Women are generally too smart to play it."
  • "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
  • "I do help around the house." Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
  • "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
  • "I can't find it." Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
  • "What did I do this time?" Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
  • "What do you mean, you need new clothes?" Really means.... "You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."
  • "She's one of those rabid feminists." Really means.... "She refused to make my coffee."
  • "But I hate to go shopping." Really means.... "Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."
  • "No, I left plenty of gas in the car." Really means.... "You may actually get it to start."
  • "I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys." Really means.... "I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions."
  • "I heard you." Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
  • "You know I could never love anyone else." Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
  • "You look terrific." Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
  • "I brought you a present." Really means.... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."
  • "I missed you." Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
  • "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."
  • "We share the housework." Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
  • "This relationship is getting too serious." Really means.... "I like you more than my truck."
  • "I recycle." Really means.... "We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."
  • "Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful." Really means.... "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"
  • "It sure snowed last night." Really means.... "I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now."
  • "It's good beer." Really means.... "It was on sale."
  • "I don't need to read the instructions." Really means.... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
  • "I'll fix the garbage disposal later." Really means.... "If I wait long enough you'll get frustated and buy a new one."
  • "I broke up with her." Really means.... "She dumped me."
  • "I'll take you to a fancy restaurant." Really means.... "Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

    _____________________________

    "Sometimes I'm sorry doesn't cover it," Acheron

    "Its not the size of your fwoosh, Its how you use it", Richard

    http://kinkyqueer.net/forum/index.php

    (in reply to ghitaPVH)
    • Profile   Post #: 34167
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 9:57:26 AM   
    CrimsonMoan


    Posts: 2652
    Joined: 10/31/2006
    From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
    Status: offline     		ok ppls once they are approved you'll have more pics to perv 

    _____________________________

    "Sometimes I'm sorry doesn't cover it," Acheron

    "Its not the size of your fwoosh, Its how you use it", Richard

    http://kinkyqueer.net/forum/index.php

    (in reply to CrimsonMoan)
    Profile   Post #: 34168
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:01:43 AM   
    ghitaPVH


    Posts: 1363
    Joined: 11/14/2007
    Status: offline     		whoohooo....

    _____________________________

    Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

    "The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

    (in reply to CrimsonMoan)
    Profile   Post #: 34169
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:09:29 AM   
    instynctive


    Posts: 2726
    Status: offline     		MAN RULES

    Now it's time for the man's rules. We always hear "the rules" for the feminine side. Ok - we are now going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

    1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work
    Strong hints do not work
    Obvious hints do not work
    Just say it!
    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Check your oil! Please.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. I'm in shape. -ROUND is a shape.

    < Message edited by instynctive -- 2/10/2008 10:11:42 AM >

    _____________________________


    Lifestyle-friendly web hosting and design: http://kinkyqueer.net

    (in reply to ghitaPVH)
    Profile   Post #: 34170
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:19:39 AM   
    Cougarandkitten


    Posts: 1375
    Joined: 1/21/2008
    Status: offline     		lmaooooooooooooooo

    _____________________________

    " You become responsible forever for what you have tamed. " ~ Antione de Saint-Exupery

    "I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,got to open my eyes to everything.... without a thought without a voice without a soul....." ~ Evanescance

    (in reply to instynctive)
    Profile   Post #: 34171
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:28:29 AM   
    Cougarandkitten


    Posts: 1375
    Joined: 1/21/2008
    Status: offline     		So what's hapnen today?


    _____________________________

    " You become responsible forever for what you have tamed. " ~ Antione de Saint-Exupery

    "I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems,got to open my eyes to everything.... without a thought without a voice without a soul....." ~ Evanescance

    (in reply to Cougarandkitten)
    Profile   Post #: 34172
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:33:31 AM   
    ghitaPVH


    Posts: 1363
    Joined: 11/14/2007
    Status: offline     		Not much..I lost my collar, other than that its been a pretty slow day.



    _____________________________

    Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

    "The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

    (in reply to Cougarandkitten)
    Profile   Post #: 34173
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:34:25 AM   
    instynctive


    Posts: 2726
    Status: offline     		I'm girding up My loins to go shovel.. again.

    Goddamn.. I really really really REALLY need a rugged little boi toy to come over and do some of these chores.  Naked.  While I flog him.

    Too many pussy bois around here.


    _____________________________


    Lifestyle-friendly web hosting and design: http://kinkyqueer.net

    (in reply to Cougarandkitten)
    Profile   Post #: 34174
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:37:56 AM   
    CrimsonMoan


    Posts: 2652
    Joined: 10/31/2006
    From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
    Status: offline     		not much just watching stand up after realizing that there is just not enough GOOD porn out there

    _____________________________

    "Sometimes I'm sorry doesn't cover it," Acheron

    "Its not the size of your fwoosh, Its how you use it", Richard

    http://kinkyqueer.net/forum/index.php

    (in reply to Cougarandkitten)
    Profile   Post #: 34175
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:39:14 AM   
    onegoodgirl


    Posts: 126
    Joined: 5/6/2007
    Status: offline     		OMFG, that is so true.

    I almost fell off my chair - I'm so naive, didn't even see that coming.


    _____________________________

    "This aint a scene.. it's a god-damned arms race!" - Fall Out Boy

    http://www.myspace.com/bellaemiliana

    (in reply to ghitaPVH)
    Profile   Post #: 34176
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:41:00 AM   
    ghitaPVH


    Posts: 1363
    Joined: 11/14/2007
    Status: offline     		heya emmi darling! hows arizona? We could use some warm weather back here at home..hows the little one?

    _____________________________

    Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

    "The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

    (in reply to onegoodgirl)
    Profile   Post #: 34177
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 10:55:19 AM   
    Aylee


    Posts: 24103
    Joined: 10/14/2007
    Status: offline     		Ghita, you LOST your collar?  As in misplaced or as in he took it back? 

    Or am I being too nosey?

    _____________________________

    Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

    I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

    (in reply to ghitaPVH)
    Profile   Post #: 34178
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 11:08:31 AM   
    CrimsonMoan


    Posts: 2652
    Joined: 10/31/2006
    From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
    Status: offline     		o.O Holy Crap!
    *looks out window*

    it looks like a snow globe outside


    _____________________________

    "Sometimes I'm sorry doesn't cover it," Acheron

    "Its not the size of your fwoosh, Its how you use it", Richard

    http://kinkyqueer.net/forum/index.php

    (in reply to Aylee)
    Profile   Post #: 34179
    RE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh! - 2/10/2008 11:20:35 AM   
    faerytattoodgirl


    Posts: 5824
    Status: offline     		its -25 with the wind chill outside...and its FUCKING windy!!!! like tornado!!!

    and thats celcius so its like 0 F


    _____________________________

    I did not reply to your cmail.
    I am flawed.
    Imperfect.
    MUST SPANK!!!
    SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

    (in reply to CrimsonMoan)
    Profile   Post #: 34180
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