RE: Difference between male and female dominance

RE: Difference between male and female dominance (Full Version)

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CuriousLord -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 12:45:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs Because I rarely see questions about enforcing female chastity as opposed to the plethora of questions & devices for male chastity. That's an interesting observation. Still, I know that I and a lot of others I've talked to enforce chasity, or more to the point, sex whenever it's convinent for the Dominant. (Which, if it happens to a female Dominant, might be less often, or, if it happens to be a male Dominant, more often.) That, plus I've had a pretty easy time enforcing chasity in the past. There's no need to do anything elaborate. I just give them the order, and that's the end of story. Do male slaves tend to be harder to control in this respect?

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 12:54:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CuriousLord quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs Because I rarely see questions about enforcing female chastity as opposed to the plethora of questions & devices for male chastity. That's an interesting observation. Still, I know that I and a lot of others I've talked to enforce chasity, or more to the point, sex whenever it's convinent for the Dominant. (Which, if it happens to a female Dominant, might be less often, or, if it happens to be a male Dominant, more often.) That, plus I've had a pretty easy time enforcing chasity in the past. There's no need to do anything elaborate. I just give them the order, and that's the end of story. Do male slaves tend to be harder to control in this respect? Males in the bottom role in this seem to be more driven by fetish and force fantasies than females. It's also much more challenging to prevent a female from having orgasms if she desires it-and the hygiene problems are much worse. The bottom line seems to be this. Males like power to have sex, females like to use sex to get power. And women seem to be able to sublimate thier sex drives easier than men-when denied. I was once in an eforced chastity situation as a male-on the honor system. (Yes I tried subbing at one time.) The Domme made the mistake of gloating at me over it-I sublimated my sex drive in response. And when she wanted to be fucked-I didn't perform for her. The arrogance and man hating attitude was a HUGE turn off. She got really really upset when I just dumped her-after due consideration of the damage being done. She still had her other toys(poly) but the one who defied her seemed to be the one that got more important-how insecure. I sort of figured out just how tiny my sub side was at that point. But it also brought this home with some impact.......in any relationship dynamic, the one with the most to lose has the least power. And if the sub men out there got a handle on thier gonads long enough to take a break-the Domme class out there would wither on the vine.

Dragynsfury -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 1:02:34 PM)
Would we really? How do you figure? I spose in a previous life I was a man. I don't need need to use my sex to get power. Nor do I use the power I have to get sex. How bout dominants who have subs/slaves but are chaste themselves? Sex need not be part of the equation in order for it to be a meaning, lasting relationship.

Rastimmipitwax -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 1:10:18 PM)
There is no difference. Both can be equally exquisite, and equally assinine.

LadyLegs -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 2:21:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: CuriousLord quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs Because I rarely see questions about enforcing female chastity as opposed to the plethora of questions & devices for male chastity. That's an interesting observation. Still, I know that I and a lot of others I've talked to enforce chasity, or more to the point, sex whenever it's convinent for the Dominant. (Which, if it happens to a female Dominant, might be less often, or, if it happens to be a male Dominant, more often.) That, plus I've had a pretty easy time enforcing chasity in the past. There's no need to do anything elaborate. I just give them the order, and that's the end of story. Do male slaves tend to be harder to control in this respect? Males in the bottom role in this seem to be more driven by fetish and force fantasies than females. It's also much more challenging to prevent a female from having orgasms if she desires it-and the hygiene problems are much worse. The bottom line seems to be this. Males like power to have sex, females like to use sex to get power. And women seem to be able to sublimate thier sex drives easier than men-when denied. I was once in an eforced chastity situation as a male-on the honor system. (Yes I tried subbing at one time.) The Domme made the mistake of gloating at me over it-I sublimated my sex drive in response. And when she wanted to be fucked-I didn't perform for her. The arrogance and man hating attitude was a HUGE turn off. She got really really upset when I just dumped her-after due consideration of the damage being done. She still had her other toys(poly) but the one who defied her seemed to be the one that got more important-how insecure. I sort of figured out just how tiny my sub side was at that point. But it also brought this home with some impact.......in any relationship dynamic, the one with the most to lose has the least power. And if the sub men out there got a handle on thier gonads long enough to take a break-the Domme class out there would wither on the vine. I think it is rather insulting to suggest that sex is the only basis of the female dominance, just as it would be to suggest the only power you have is sexual. Just because you don't see Domme as attractive as other than sexual objects does not mean that submissive men don't see us in a different way

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 2:25:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs I think it is rather insulting to suggest that sex is the only basis of the female dominance, just as it would be to suggest the only power you have is sexual. Just because you don't see Domme as attractive as other than sexual objects does not mean that submissive men don't see us in a different way And what proportion of submissive men do you suppose see you an unerotic objects? Or even as human?

LadyLegs -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 2:39:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs I think it is rather insulting to suggest that sex is the only basis of the female dominance, just as it would be to suggest the only power you have is sexual. Just because you don't see Domme as attractive as other than sexual objects does not mean that submissive men don't see us in a different way And what proportion of submissive men do you suppose see you an unerotic objects? Or even as human? Of course there are many men lacking the imagination or depth to see any woman as more, not a characteristic exclusive to any orientation. (to wit... the "dom"s that want to submit to us) How most submissive men view me does not determine what I am, nor does it determine the source of my power with those I select as friends and playmates.

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 2:49:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs I think it is rather insulting to suggest that sex is the only basis of the female dominance, just as it would be to suggest the only power you have is sexual. Just because you don't see Domme as attractive as other than sexual objects does not mean that submissive men don't see us in a different way And what proportion of submissive men do you suppose see you an unerotic objects? Or even as human? Of course there are many men lacking the imagination or depth to see any woman as more, not a characteristic exclusive to any orientation. (to wit... the "dom"s that want to submit to us) How most submissive men view me does not determine what I am, nor does it determine the source of my power with those I select as friends and playmates. And "dom" who wants to submit to a woman is a switch-let's be clear on that one. Someone of a Dominant charachter tends to only get off on dominating. As far as the source of your power? It belongs to the men, and they can take it back any time they choose to. So your power is only your own, for yourself. Anything else is another person humoring you to get something they want. Of course, how people percieve you does not define you. It DOES define who you will attract.

laurell3 -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:00:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs I think it is rather insulting to suggest that sex is the only basis of the female dominance, just as it would be to suggest the only power you have is sexual. Just because you don't see Domme as attractive as other than sexual objects does not mean that submissive men don't see us in a different way And what proportion of submissive men do you suppose see you an unerotic objects? Or even as human? Of course there are many men lacking the imagination or depth to see any woman as more, not a characteristic exclusive to any orientation. (to wit... the "dom"s that want to submit to us) How most submissive men view me does not determine what I am, nor does it determine the source of my power with those I select as friends and playmates. And "dom" who wants to submit to a woman is a switch-let's be clear on that one. Someone of a Dominant charachter tends to only get off on dominating. As far as the source of your power? It belongs to the men, and they can take it back any time they choose to. So your power is only your own, for yourself. Anything else is another person humoring you to get something they want. Of course, how people percieve you does not define you. It DOES define who you will attract. Rrafe you saying that suprises me because it's not true and it smells like everyone fits a formula, which I know you know that they don't. There are plenty of Dom/mes that have some masochistic tendencies that are not switches and still have Dominant character. Whether something is sexual or not is relative. As a submissive, if I scene/play with someone, even if it is not sexual to them at all or does not involve intercourse or orgasm, it is still very much sexual to me, always. It is not just the acts, in fact many of them are not erotic or enjoyable to me, but the service that I view as sexual. One side's viewpoint of sexuality doesn't define the other.

LadyLegs -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:06:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe And "dom" who wants to submit to a woman is a switch-let's be clear on that one. Someone of a Dominant charachter tends to only get off on dominating. As far as the source of your power? It belongs to the men, and they can take it back any time they choose to. So your power is only your own, for yourself. Anything else is another person humoring you to get something they want. Of course, how people percieve you does not define you. It DOES define who you will attract. The withdrawal of submission is possible for amy submissive, it does not support your assertion that all attraction to Dommes is sexually based,as if the attraction the attraction to Doms is somehow different. Attraction is attraction. The ones just hoping to get laid will be sorely dissappointed. (pun intended)

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:11:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe And "dom" who wants to submit to a woman is a switch-let's be clear on that one. Someone of a Dominant charachter tends to only get off on dominating. As far as the source of your power? It belongs to the men, and they can take it back any time they choose to. So your power is only your own, for yourself. Anything else is another person humoring you to get something they want. Of course, how people percieve you does not define you. It DOES define who you will attract. The withdrawal of submission is possible for amy submissive, it does not support your assertion that all attraction to Dommes is sexually based,as if the attraction the attraction to Doms is somehow different. Attraction is attraction. The ones just hoping to get laid will be sorely dissappointed. (pun intended) All right then, prove me a liar. Go totally vanilla for two months-don't tell your playmates the reason why. See how long you manage to hold thier interest.

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:13:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: laurell3 quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs I think it is rather insulting to suggest that sex is the only basis of the female dominance, just as it would be to suggest the only power you have is sexual. Just because you don't see Domme as attractive as other than sexual objects does not mean that submissive men don't see us in a different way And what proportion of submissive men do you suppose see you an unerotic objects? Or even as human? Of course there are many men lacking the imagination or depth to see any woman as more, not a characteristic exclusive to any orientation. (to wit... the "dom"s that want to submit to us) How most submissive men view me does not determine what I am, nor does it determine the source of my power with those I select as friends and playmates. And "dom" who wants to submit to a woman is a switch-let's be clear on that one. Someone of a Dominant charachter tends to only get off on dominating. As far as the source of your power? It belongs to the men, and they can take it back any time they choose to. So your power is only your own, for yourself. Anything else is another person humoring you to get something they want. Of course, how people percieve you does not define you. It DOES define who you will attract. Rrafe you saying that suprises me because it's not true and it smells like everyone fits a formula, which I know you know that they don't. There are plenty of Dom/mes that have some masochistic tendencies that are not switches and still have Dominant character. Whether something is sexual or not is relative. As a submissive, if I scene/play with someone, even if it is not sexual to them at all or does not involve intercourse or orgasm, it is still very much sexual to me, always. It is not just the acts, in fact many of them are not erotic or enjoyable to me, but the service that I view as sexual. One side's viewpoint of sexuality doesn't define the other. I'm making the point that this woman is suggesting that Dominants seem to have an overwhelming tendency to be fakes-she reeks of arrogance. I will repeat-I have nothing against switches. Bottoming is not submitting-big difference.

LadyLegs -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:15:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe And "dom" who wants to submit to a woman is a switch-let's be clear on that one. Someone of a Dominant charachter tends to only get off on dominating. As far as the source of your power? It belongs to the men, and they can take it back any time they choose to. So your power is only your own, for yourself. Anything else is another person humoring you to get something they want. Of course, how people percieve you does not define you. It DOES define who you will attract. The withdrawal of submission is possible for amy submissive, it does not support your assertion that all attraction to Dommes is sexually based,as if the attraction the attraction to Doms is somehow different. Attraction is attraction. The ones just hoping to get laid will be sorely dissappointed. (pun intended) All right then, prove me a liar. Go totally vanilla for two months-don't tell your playmates the reason why. See how long you manage to hold thier interest. I think they would be too shocked to ask anything if I started having sex with them at all.

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:21:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs quote: ORIGINAL: RRafe All right then, prove me a liar. Go totally vanilla for two months-don't tell your playmates the reason why. See how long you manage to hold thier interest. I think they would be too shocked to ask anything if I started having sex with them at all. You are sidestepping what I said. I meant stop with the D/s totally. No kink, no control-go nilla, everyone is the same. I'll bet they would desert you like rats from a sinking ship. Sex or no-you are still a kink provider.

LadyLegs -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:23:32 PM)
I did not say that Doms are fake... I said that there are people on this site just looking for sex, regardless of orientation. Your assertion is that the only attraction a Domme has is sexual. That all submissive males are just looking for sex. I do not believe that is accurate. I only state the things I knnow to be true. I do not try to theorize about what night attract female subs to Doms. I would ask. I know I might seem arrogant to a male that prefers women to do as they say, think as they are told. Again, how is it that Domme are kink providers and Doms are not?

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:31:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLegs I did not say that Doms are fake... I said that there are people on this site just looking for sex, regardless of orientation. Your assertion is that the only attraction a Domme has is sexual. That all submissive males are just looking for sex. I do not believe that is accurate. I only state the things I knnow to be true. I do not try to theorize about what night attract female subs to Doms. I would ask. I know I might seem arrogant to a male that prefers women to do as they say, think as they are told. Again, how is it that Domme are kink providers and Doms are not? I agree that there is more to a person than just kink. And we do come here to find kink partners. But I think what you need to realize is this- a lot of damaged and dysfunctional people come here as well-fetishists who only realy care about the fetish they want to do. I see it as a social impairment. As well. lot of people come here with a lot of anger and baggage-and they are looking to take it out on someone else as a payback. Very unhealthy. At the same time,don;t a lot of us set ourselves up as sexual objects-and encourage these same dysfunctional people to pursue US? Perhaps it would be better if you tone down the sexual aspects-if you want people who are sincerely looking for MORE.

Lucylastic -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:40:56 PM)
Cos we are women? and we all must pray to the almghty prick? (no Im not calling ANYONE names) whatever side of the kneel we are on. Im not surprised to see this has degenerated into an Us Vs Them or a money grabbing ho(e) orientated subject, Its actually given me a lot to think about and I dont have an answer. I only know what is true for me and my partner. A shared kink/fetish/love is a wonderful thing.for both sexes. Lucy edited cos I cant spell and to point out that the top statement was said with a big tongue in my cheek.....

CuriousLord -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:43:38 PM)
Ah, please don't characterize a thread by a discussion between these two. Outside of the assumption of all men being with the male and all women being with the female given in the "us vs. them" take of it, these two are just having a discussion. It's good to have views and prospectives shared.

RRafe -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:46:58 PM)
I'm really just trying to address a lot of stereotypical assumptions that get tossed around here. You need to know the roots of things if you desire to weed them out.

LadyLegs -> RE: Difference between male and female dominance (11/22/2007 3:49:45 PM)
So now it is just me, personally, that is men just want to use sexually? And I am too stupid to know how to take my personal safety seriously? I'm taking the arrogant lable off & putting it on you. Thanks for your input

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