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"Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 3:44:17 PM   
Bobkgin


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Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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That's the title off a track from The Who's "Quadrophenia" album.

This is an essay on how Love and Selflessness rule my paradigm for a Master/slave relationship.

Thus:

"Love Reign O'er Me"

It is well understood that a slave serves a master's needs.

And there are those who view this as an act of selflessness on the part of the slave, for she has surrendered what the rest of the world values: freedom.

And others who see this as selfish, in that she wants what she has with her master.

When I look at this, I consider what I would have to feel and need to be willing to give up -my- freedom so that I may give all of myself to love another.

And I am staggered by the gift of Love a slave is for me.

Because quite honestly, I can't do that.


In this sense, I as her master feel indebted to her, for her gift is more than I can give.

And thus it is my responsibility to give her the best I have, always.


On the one hand, I must receive her gift in total, to honour her love for me, to trust her to give this gift to one whom she believes deserving of it, to respect her as she is and for whom she wishes to be.

I must be the master she needs to fulfill her potential and to become all she wishes to be.


On the other, I must consider her my superior, for in matters of Love and Trust and Respect she is capable of so much more than I.

She surrenders herself utterly where I cannot.


Thus, her well-being is more important than mine.

Her life, more valid than mine.


As she lives to serve me, so I live to serve her.


Now, some here thought it odd that during my first bondage experience I took advantage of my lady being tied up to perform cunnilingus for an hour.

I see nothing odd about it.

Just as it is my perogative to give pain, so too is it my perogative to give pleasure.

Till that point I'd never had the opportunity to indulge my curiosity regarding a woman's ability to orgasm repeatedly, and I wanted to know what she would be like after an hour of it.

And I am rather good at cunnilingus.

I was delighted with the results, and so was my lady.


A master need not only give pain.

A master can give pleasure too.

And I find that a wonderful way of expressing my love for her.


There have been some who said that love is a great way for a slave to manipulate a master.

But I disagree.

There are playful attempts to manipulate, transparent and easily handled.

And then there are serious attempts.

But they too are transparent.

Simply put, no slave would attempt it, and anyone who does is declaring she is no longer content to be a slave, or never was to begin with.

And that would inevitably lead to the end of a relationship.

For love would expect of me that I set her free, to be what she chooses and to find what she seeks.

No one reaches that point with me without knowing that is their decision to make.


For it is not the kinks, which are specifically selected for her needs and abilities after a period of exploring a variety of activities, to be refreshed as needed.


It is difficult to grow up in a selfish society and not find remnants of selfishness clinging to us.

Selflessness is a process, not a magical transformation.

It is a process of learning to want only what is good for the other.

And it was about here when I was musing over this the first time, many many years ago, that I realized that I as a master was in my way as selfless as she was in her way.

For I was giving up the freedom from responsibility for her so that I might give to her what she needs to fulfill her potential in this life.

She needs to be a responsible slave, and thus needs a responsible master.

I need to be that responsible master, so that she may be what she needs to be.


I am the fulfillment of her needs as she is the fullfilment of mine, for each of us holds the key to unlock the other's potential.


So my paradigm for the perfect master/slave relationship is one where both the master and the slave pursue their selfless love for one another, exploring the potential in each other and seeking the ultimate expression of themselves and their love through their relationship as master and slave.

Slaves need love too.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 4:01:47 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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Slavery is not selfless - both submission and dominance are acts of selfishness.
Selflessness implies a perfection.  Who really desires their other half to be perfect?
If there were two selfless slaves that would imply they are both perfect.  To both be perfect that implies that they are the same.
And no two people are.  If there was, there would be no individuality.
 
Submission and dominances are not gifts to another.  They are gifts to ourselves.
Love is not a gift we let someone 'have'.  It is a sensation and an emotion we cannot fathom, and cannot control.
 
Love is a componant that not everyone needs or desires and therefore submission and dominance can exists without it.
 
Love cannot be selfless when it is an emotion that we have no control over.
You cannot just choose who you love.  You either surrender to it or you do not.  The act of surrender can be perceived as selfless, the act of love cannot.
 
I did not 'choose' to fall in love with Darcy.  It was and Is.
If something is already perfect - what would be the point of exploration?
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 4:12:21 PM   
callistaIn


Posts: 62
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I was going to respond with my own words, but after reading Darchandthedark's response; all I can say is that I agree with everything she said.

callie

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 4:25:24 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
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I cannot improve on this...

Ditto!


_____________________________



(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 4:36:47 PM   
RRafe


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I hate to be a wet blanket-but equally devoted relationships can happen without authority structures.

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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 5:04:30 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

My heart is the front lines upon which logic wages war with my passions.  Reality and Idealism their aresenal.  When reason reigns untempered, my heart is cold and barren.  If my passions go unfettered they burn my heart to cinders.  If I could  but call a ceasefire and unite the two under one nation, I think my heart, like the earth, could nurture them both.


There are times when I truly want to embrace such romanticism as you espouse.  Times when I dream of a love that all reason would lie down and be still for. 

Your words express a pretty sentiment.  If such a state exists, and it is your deepest desire and only means of fulfillment; I will wish nothing more for you than to acquire it for yourself.

I simply know amidst a sentiment of such perfection, I am flawed.  Yes, the imperfections of my nature have character and depth, but realistically speaking, I accept that distressed furniture does not hold appeal for just anyone.

Best wishes, bob.  May your diamond be as flawless as your vision.

If you win points for perseverence, you are already ahead of the game.





(in reply to RRafe)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 5:09:31 PM   
domiguy


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I just threw up in my mouth....Is this another one of those my submission is a gift threads?  Fuck, fuck, fuckity  fuck!

_____________________________



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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 5:30:34 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I just threw up in my mouth....Is this another one of those my submission is a gift threads?  Fuck, fuck, fuckity  fuck!


I don't know if it is a submission is a gift thread, but anyone who wants something as badly as bob wants his pie in the sky - I can't help but feel bad for him.  Obviously you are more of a pie in the face sorta guy.  Bon Apetite.  Has to taste better than vomit.

edited:  damn typos

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 8/31/2007 5:32:03 PM >

(in reply to domiguy)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 5:46:23 PM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I simply know amidst a sentiment of such perfection, I am flawed.


Consider the young child learning to walk.

He stands up, falls down, stands up falls down ... quite a few times.

He may rest.

He may get distracted.

He may even get frustrated.

But he never gives up.

Because to give up means never to stand up.

And eventually he learns to stand.

This is how we all learned to walk. Each and everyone of us saw no shame in falling down, we were only focused on standing up.

Would that we could do the same with the mistakes we make today. Metaphorically speaking, we are all still learning to 'stand'.

We spend all of our lives doing it.

Or resting, or pursuing distractions, or getting frustrated.

We each have a choice.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 5:52:17 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


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Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I simply know amidst a sentiment of such perfection, I am flawed.


Consider the young child learning to walk.

He stands up, falls down, stands up falls down ... quite a few times.

He may rest.

He may get distracted.

He may even get frustrated.

But he never gives up.

Because to give up means never to stand up.

And eventually he learns to stand.

This is how we all learned to walk. Each and everyone of us saw no shame in falling down, we were only focused on standing up.

Would that we could do the same with the mistakes we make today. Metaphorically speaking, we are all still learning to 'stand'.

We spend all of our lives doing it.

Or resting, or pursuing distractions, or getting frustrated.

We each have a choice.


No offense bob, but if I have to consider a parable, I'll reference a better source.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 5:54:04 PM   
Rover


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Bob, stated as a personal relationship dynamic as it is, I think it's really touching.  I hope you find someone who can appreciate it for what it is.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 6:01:38 PM   
earthycouple


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cripes I wonder what someone who is trying to find the limelight does?

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 6:21:53 PM   
velvetears


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark


Selflessness implies a perfection.  Who really desires their other half to be perfect?
 

 
Why does being selfless imply perfection - could you explain that more?

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 6:26:20 PM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark


Selflessness implies a perfection.  Who really desires their other half to be perfect?
 

 
Why does being selfless imply perfection - could you explain that more?



Why would striving for perfection be a bad thing?

Even those who argue in favour of competition would have to admit that the purpose for competition is to strive for perfection.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark


Selflessness implies a perfection.  Who really desires their other half to be perfect?
 


Is that really an attempt to invalidate everyone who is either selfless, strives to be selfless, or believes in selflessness?

Are we to believe selfless individuals, and those who strive for it and believe in it, should be considered -undesirable-?

Odd way of thinking.

< Message edited by Bobkgin -- 8/31/2007 6:32:03 PM >


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 7:35:34 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
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From: Ontari-ari-o
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And when/if perfection is attained.... then what? And who is to judge what is perfect? What makes them qualified to say so? Perfection is great if you can never achieve it? Maybe?
 
Its why I'm not big on the idea of heaven. A perfect state? What would be left to achieve? What would it be like to live without any sense of accomplishment, or creation  or if all passion was shared and equal... but in a perfect existence there would be no need for passion of any kind - for anything.... ick.
 
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a sentient being...

(Edited for a typo... me a perfectionist? haha)

< Message edited by ThinkingKitten -- 8/31/2007 7:36:36 PM >


_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 7:51:52 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten
And when/if perfection is attained.... then what?



There is always something new to learn, something new to try. No human has enough years in a lifetime to learn it all.


quote:


And who is to judge what is perfect?

 
By mutual consent, the master.
 
quote:


What makes them qualified to say so?

 
Ultimately, it is mutually agreed by the master and slave that the master is best qualified to judge the matter for the slave.
 
A master must have confidence in his ability to judge, and a slave must believe her master's judgment sound, otherwise there would be no point in making him her master.
 
quote:


Perfection is great if you can never achieve it? Maybe?


 
Seeking perfection is an adventure that can (and hopefully does) take a lifetime. The goal is to be better and know more day by day. A progression of baby steps, instead of one giant leap.

The lessons I'd learned played an important role in teaching my autistic son to speak. Each day was a marvelous day of little accomplishments, which added up over time to a more advanced form of speaking than he had to begin with.

In the two years from the time he was diagnosed to the time he passed on, he'd learned his numbers to 30, his colours, shapes, alphabet, several thousand words he could reproduce, and sentences up to five words.

He was quite the bright, happy little guy whose only real difficulty was language skills.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to ThinkingKitten)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 8:00:15 PM   
Satyr6406


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From: New Brunswick, N.J.
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I'm no expert on The Who but, isn't there also a song called: "I've Had Enough" on that same album? LOL!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
Peace and comfort,
 
 
 
 
 
Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,


Michael


Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 8:36:46 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
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Well geez Bob, you seemed to have expanded off into generalities about perfection, led there by other posts... hadn't realised you were still talking about the specifics of the D/s dynamic. I was speaking in generalities.
 
But either way it begs the question, perfect at what? Being an ass? Now there's a goal.
 
"Time for bed" said Zebedee.
I'm feeling flippant... better go....

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 8:36:51 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
~fr~
We tried to speak between lines of oration
You could only repeat what we told you.
Your axe belongs to a dying nation,
They don't know that we own you.
You're watching movies trying to find the feelers,
You only see what we show you.
We're the slaves of the phony leaders
Breathe the air we have blown you.


I always preferred "The Punk Meets the Godfather"


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: "Love Reign O'er Me" - 8/31/2007 8:43:22 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Slavery is not selfless - both submission and dominance are acts of selfishness.
Selflessness implies a perfection.  Who really desires their other half to be perfect?
If there were two selfless slaves that would imply they are both perfect.  To both be perfect that implies that they are the same.
And no two people are.  If there was, there would be no individuality.
 
Submission and dominances are not gifts to another.  They are gifts to ourselves.
Love is not a gift we let someone 'have'.  It is a sensation and an emotion we cannot fathom, and cannot control.
 
Love is a componant that not everyone needs or desires and therefore submission and dominance can exists without it.
 
Love cannot be selfless when it is an emotion that we have no control over.
You cannot just choose who you love.  You either surrender to it or you do not.  The act of surrender can be perceived as selfless, the act of love cannot.
 
I did not 'choose' to fall in love with Darcy.  It was and Is.
If something is already perfect - what would be the point of exploration?
 
Peace
the.dark.

 
yep i have to say i agree

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 20
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