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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 10:23:32 AM

MsKittyBlack

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....

< Message edited by MsKittyBlack -- 9/15/2007 10:24:11 AM >

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 10:27:01 AM

BoiJen

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Fuck it...I give up...no one else can get through to Mr.Experience when he's in his shining White Knight mode...when reality of responsibility being shared and the craziness goes away someone let me know.

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 11:12:13 AM

Aileen68

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

when reality of responsibility being shared and the craziness goes away someone let me know.

Ha...that'll never happen in this place.

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 11:27:03 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
He actually stopped before I used the safeword, because my first response was to say "stop" rather than "red" and he realized I was in pain...but he still asked "do you mean stop or red?" to make sure.

"red" is a great safeword....while working over subsusie and she shouts out "red." ...I think my response would be something like, "Not yet, but if I tighten these clamps or smack you a bit harder...I think it should get there pretty damn quick."

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 11:42:59 AM

chellekitty

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Joined: 3/27/2005
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domiguy...if they are not red already you're a freakin pussy...you should be aiming for purple or black by the time she says a safeword...jeeze...fucking "screw the roses" Doms...where can i find a guy to hurt me...

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 11:48:03 AM

LATEXBABY64

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i have to say that i do not respect anyone that does not have some kinda of protocal in place for safety. If someone is hurt because of people doing stuipd things and not respecting limits or rights of those under them. then no one is to blame but the people involed. you can only beat a dead horse so many ways till someone gets the point
if you can not learn it from someone. Life will teach it to you. One way or the other

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 11:49:33 AM

LATEXBABY64

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some people do not want to go to jail I am sorry

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 11:55:50 AM

chellekitty

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it was a joke...

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 12:47:52 PM

domiguy

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Forgive latex....It's joking off the oxygen.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 9/15/2007 12:48:23 PM >

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 12:58:54 PM

LATEXBABY64

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riiiiiiiiiiight um k

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 5:57:01 PM

goodgirl85

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I have to disagree with you Bobkin, when you say safewords are of no use with a responsible Dom/me. Having them in place, (if it is what both parties agreed on) makes the Dom/me responsible in that particular relationship. He gives the submissive the power to use it if she needs it. (using he/she pronouns as a generalization). Sometimes, having the power of the safeword is what actually part of what makes me have the courage to go through with a scene (still new as far as all that goes). I have a safeword and a caution word, the typical red/yellow. I'm still finding my own limits and am with a new partner. If I don't know some of my limits, then there is no way for him to know them. You strike me one to many times with a belt, whip, w/e the instrument and its going to turn good pain into bad pain. Maybe He's semi lightly hitting a certain area of me, no particular spot in mind, but has hit a spot that is starting to get sensitive, hes not a mind reader.

He also isn't going to know if my leg cramp ups, of my shoulder starts to act up unless I say something. Being a good dom and stopping/slowing when safe/caution word is used is only half of what makes them work. A submissive has to be responsible and smart enough to realize that she has to say the word in order for him to know something is wrong. I know most submissives dont like safewording, Im one of them, but when shoulder starts acting up because Im tied to a coffee table on my hands and knees and my bad shoulder muscle starts giving out on me, then well I dont have a choice but to safeword.

Having safewords in place doesn't make anyone a bad or good anything. If safewords are in place, and a submissive doesnt safe word when something is wrong, thats a bad quailty to have in a submissive. If a Dom doesnt stop when safeword is used, thats a bad quality to have in a Dom. Doesnt mean the quailty cant change. A submissive can learn (maybe the hard way maybe not) that she needs to safeword when she feels it necessary. A dom can learn ( the hard way or not) that he needs to stop when the safeword is said.

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RE: RED Flags - 9/15/2007 8:35:32 PM

grlneedstolearn

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i talked to a Dom earlier this year and he immediantly wanted to meet at his place for dinner. Red flags and we've never talked since thank goodness i found a Dom.

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