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RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:04:51 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nope I totally did NOT follow the rule.  I didn't even have a rule.

I wish I had.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:04:54 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		does it count if you followed the rule because you were jail bait when you found the lifestyle?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:16:37 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
6 months of dating and doing kinky stuff before committing to a 'collar' or committed relationship?
  This is what the rule is. Don't make a commitment for the first six months.


No offense to anyone, but that is what LA's rule is, and I assume it fits her. When  I looked in the "twue" bdsm handbook, I didn't see a rule, or was aware that there were steadfast rules we should abide by because "someone" decided that every body was the same(and also decided they were the "someone" to decide) 
  LA has never insisted that the rule fits everyone. It's her advice to people that are new to BDSM. I happen to agree with her. The word "rule" was posted by the OP of this thread, not a self given title by LA (or myself for that matter).

So you just jumped all over someone for nothing.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:19:09 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Nope I totally did NOT follow the rule.  I didn't even have a rule.

I wish I had.


Wow..I didn't have any idea.  That explains it.  I was just confused, because as I said, I was here when you posted under the other nick as profusely as this one, unlike a lot of the posters responding to this thread, and I surely didn't remember you having any problem's in the relationship arena from "day one", rather that you were very happy and happy to share the details,with multiple owners and boyfriends at the same time(and I am poly, so I am not saying that like it's a bad thing), and that you had no bad experiences from the beginning;  to the best of my knowledge you have always had the same attitude.  My memory must be skewed, sorry...or is it?

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:31:42 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
6 months of dating and doing kinky stuff before committing to a 'collar' or committed relationship?
  This is what the rule is. Don't make a commitment for the first six months.


No offense to anyone, but that is what LA's rule is, and I assume it fits her. When  I looked in the "twue" bdsm handbook, I didn't see a rule, or was aware that there were steadfast rules we should abide by because "someone" decided that every body was the same(and also decided they were the "someone" to decide) 
  LA has never insisted that the rule fits everyone. It's her advice to people that are new to BDSM. I happen to agree with her. The word "rule" was posted by the OP of this thread, not a self given title by LA (or myself for that matter).

So you just jumped all over someone for nothing.


Last time yet again I'm going on this thread.  I did not jump all over anyone..and think I plainly said that.  I just said that NOONE could have a definite time frame as everyone is different and that it is ludicrous to think that one rule as far as time frame fits even most people.  I also said that noone should jump into anything, and that I agreed with that ...but to banter around statistics as an expert to say things like VERY FEW people can handle things in 2 months is a GROSS generalization, and should not be made, and asked how that term was arrived at.  My only point was not that one should jump into collars but that the time frame was different for everyone and could NOT be set.  As another poster said when the disclaimer was made that this was for new subs, then by default a more experienced sub should not worry about taking things at a comfortable pace.  My only point is that pace is different for everyone, and should be remembered.  I do not remember jumping on anyone, least of all you, and I made that clear, didn't I, although you were the one that appeared to take umbrance...but thanks for your viewpoint.  I will watch the answers to anyone that wants to reply to my last replies, but I will reiterate...I had nor have any desire to turn this into an angry thread.  I realize it was started by the OP that had a genuine question and deserved input from everyone. I thought he was seeking everyone's opinions, or he could have just mailed LA himself privately.  Having the same desire that I am sure you did to try to help and answer his question, I wanted to ensure that he was aware that the 6 month timeframe was not the viewpoint of everyone,and that some differing opinions were held by others that had just as much more experience as anyone on these boards, and that he should decide his time frame himself, as long as he wasn't rushing. 


edited : typo

< Message edited by kc692 -- 9/23/2007 5:33:18 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:33:31 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		to the OP....LA is not a Goddess and therefore not omnipotent...in fact she is much shorter than her picture looks....and has color...and does not walk around sideways....tis very confusing when you are looking for her in a hamburger joint....

< Message edited by chellekitty -- 9/23/2007 5:34:14 PM >

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:43:48 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, thank you for the humor chellekitty...kisses to ya!

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:49:06 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		its true...she did turn sideways and lean back for me, though...couldn't turn off the "color" thing though...i "recognized" her after that lol...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 5:52:28 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I've had three dominants and maybe except for the first, I never went into "sub frenzy" not all women do. some do some don't.
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

I agree with the translation the others have found..6 month rule gives newbies a chance to learn, and grow to open their eyes to the possibilities, while avoiding that sub frenzie thing, and to become a bit more wiser in their choice..and 6 month between relationship as others have observed for the rebound mistakes...cool/calmer heads always prevail..Tempting

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 6:27:21 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		its cause you were jail bait when you found the lifestyle too 

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 7:01:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		A) No jailbait doesn't count, I know plenty of jailbait who never let that stop them

B) Funny I was just talking to my partner about this today.  No, I've never been in an abusive relationship, or even a "decent guy with good intentions but ultimately a loser"- I was pretty smart and kinda lucky and the guys I started with were all pretty smart, caring, sincere individuals. 

But they ultimately weren't "right" for me, and at the place in my life at that age, just getting into the scene, I wish I'd have given myself some room to breathe and grow before making a commitment, or at least let myself let go of it before I did.

My LAST owner I can speak nothing but praise of- well he's human with faults so I could talk about those, but really, he gave me what I needed to get to where I am now.  And considering how blessed and grateful I am now, that's a lot for me.

However, I know myself well enough to know I'd never let my own experiences and feelings alone be the cause of a rule for everyone.  The "rule" is based on years of experience, exposure, and common sense.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 7:05:24 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		woooohoooooo that must mean i am special tooooo, cause i waited over a year...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 7:08:59 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		I waited almost 2 years!  Was I special or just a slow learner?  

_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 7:35:22 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		you can be both....special ed!

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to amiciaN)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: La's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 11:14:20 PM   
MstrSkyWoIf


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heart cream

personally i dont love 'rules' of this nature. something that may apply to one is not at all conducive to the other. i do feel there is merit in coming here, having that sort of nutty feeling take over somewhat and then getting to the other side of it safely would be the best. i am new here, inexperienced at this point and watching and learning as much as i can. i am not sure what is on the horizon for me here. maybe cuz i am older my presence here is different than had i still been a young woman. i aim to best follow my heart, intuition and my own mind. lordy, i have made zillions mistakes in my life and maybe now i avoid some of the pitfalls. i think if you resonate with this advice that is cool. then again if you dont i think that is fine too.


I agree with you on this one heartcream I would also add for me it depends a lot on the gut feeling I get when talking to someone. You have to trust your instinct. If you can't then time might be your friend. I do agree no one should be in a rush if you cant take your time to get to know someone or they you something is not right.

< Message edited by MstrSkyWoIf -- 9/23/2007 11:26:33 PM >

_____________________________

this is just my opinion, I do not claim to be an expert on life. I am just Me, Love me or Hate me I really don't care. I am the culmination of my life's experiences. I am an ever changing block of clay molded by life's experiences on a daily basis.

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/23/2007 11:37:22 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings
hmmm....well then ...I must have broken the rule. But being a Dom I get to do that. (smirks) What works for us works for us. The interesting thing is that we had a foundation that was built before we began speaking about anything else. In our case most likely the rule was followed albeit unconsciously.


_____________________________

Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

(in reply to littlebitxxx)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/24/2007 3:38:30 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

no, thereafter, be reasonable, because after that you typically have some sense in you and one would hope you're not going to jump into the lap of every dude who calls himself Dominant Master or just plain cap's his screen name and devote your life to him because you have finally found your one true calling...which is what sub-frenzy typically is...

do i really have to spell out assume in three words...i would think after oooh i don't know somewhere around 1500 posts you would have figured that one out....


Definitely should have added a wink.....It was a tease; poorly executed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Did anyone else actually read my own response in this thread?  Or are they just going to keep saying what I think or how I mean it without checking that out first?



.........and that's what I meant by *a life of it's own*.

agirl








(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/24/2007 9:33:46 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		this slave agrees that it is a good idea to have one's own set period of time that one will use as a marker of when to decide on taking a plunge as serious as entering into a committed relationship with another...and wouldn't consider the specific time period of 6 months the "rule" that would apply to everyone.

(in reply to unsung)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/24/2007 8:19:29 PM   
angelthighhighs


Posts: 104
Joined: 5/29/2004
Status: offline 		i went back to the original thread on this and something bothered me.  not about the 6 month idea.......that one i believe is good.  i tell many that are new that first searching for answers about themselves, their needs, wants, what they want out of this lifestyle and from it. to take the time to decide the type of partner they're looking for and etc.

what bothered me was Jena had said many gave her the advice of putting that she already had a Master.  we put great weight on honesty and being truthful and doing that to me is starting out lying.  also,  if you have that on your profile and then start talking with a potential and things get a little "hot"  you are giving the appearance of not being loyal to the "Master" your profile states you have.  so it shows dishonesty, disloyality, disrespect for this "Master".  am i making too much of this,  am i the only one that has a problem with that way of thinking?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: LA's 6 month rule - 9/25/2007 10:21:55 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		If only I had known of this rule and followed it, it would have saved a lot of heartache.  Where was LA when I was new to the scene, huh?  I certainly agree with it for when someone is just entering the scene if nothing else. Maybe we should make up little cards with the 6 month rule on them and pass them out at munches? 

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 60
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