How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot?

How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (Full Version)

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TheLibertinistic -> How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/8/2007 4:03:34 PM)
Okay, aesthetics matter a lot to me in my play. I got into rope bondage because it was prettier and more free-form than other fetishes (lol opinions) and I frequently leave my submissives dressed during scenes because I'm more interested in prettified objectification than in nudity (and sometimes even sex). I'm basically a slave to my aesthetic sensibilities. Here's my problem, oh board: I have found very little that appeals to me as attire to wear when domming people. I feel under-dressed if the girl's all lingerified and I'm just in jeans and a t-shirt. I took to wearing button-up shirts, suspenders 'n boots, a la http://dvntdom.com/CF1gallery.html, but that still only covers some occasions. Help! Some notes about my aesthetic sense: I abhor latex, I do not have the body for it and I think it tends to make people look like dildo impersonators. I'm on the fence about fascist-uniform-wearing, they were snappy dressers but I wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house to events. I love Edwardian, Victorian, and quasi-period stuff (and have a hardcore fetish for steampunk machinery) but haven't managed to figure out a way to convey authority in it with quite the vehemence that I'd like. Does anyone else run into this problem?

TheHungryTiger -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/8/2007 6:04:12 PM)
I had roughly the same problem. Some clubs wont even let you in the door unless you are dressed 'fetish'. And I cant do rubber or leather because I get heat stroke and pass out. A solution I found, one that works very well with damsel-in-distress bondage, is suits. Chicago gangster look. Gumshoe. Mifia don. Etc. Every girls crazy for a sharp dressed man. Cost isnt outside the range of most other fetish clothing. But I do suggest you get custom taloring. A hundred dollar suit that has three hundred dollars worth of taloring is going to look better than an off the rack suit of five hundred.

camille65 -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/8/2007 6:09:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheHungryTiger A solution I found, one that works very well with damsel-in-distress bondage, is suits. Chicago gangster look. Gumshoe. Mifia don. Etc. Every girls crazy for a sharp dressed man. A hundred dollar suit that has three hundred dollars worth of taloring is going to look better than an off the rack suit of five hundred. Oh my yes yes yes. Yummy yes. Salivating and um did it get warmer in here?A well dressed man who is comfortable in his clothing really stands out from the usual crowd. A tailored suit is really worth the cost, it just shows so well.I bet you could easily mix a few period pieces in as well, create your own style with quality items.

julietsierra -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/8/2007 6:28:54 PM)
The closest thing my Master gets to "fetishwear" is that his suit is black. We don't wear "fetishwear" either...elegant, sexy. That's the clothing choices here, for both dominant and submissives. juliet

fungasm -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/8/2007 8:01:16 PM)
The most amazing doms I have had the pleasure to play under share the characteristic of fabulous clothing.. It wasn't the cut- but the class. Usually black/grey. Silk, cashmere, light wool. mmmm...... Alison

Archer -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/8/2007 9:04:29 PM)
Think of any and all "possitions of power" and you have another drag option. Police, Gangster, Soldier, Business Tycoon, etc... the limits are only those of the imagination.

phoenixinchains -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 3:21:08 AM)
poet, swords'men, pirate-shirt, what ever you care to call them, paired with your fav' old jeans... great look for either sex, s or D. just my opinion on the matter. attitude will fill in all the blanks. smiles- phoenix

MstrssPassion -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 4:55:52 AM)
it isn't what you wear it is how you carry yourself

PrettyOHDomme -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 5:19:40 AM)
I definitely sympathize with your love of aesthetics, Monsieur Libertine. I've been stressing about a harness for a while because I want it to look _perfect_. The suggestions thus far are, as always, excellent. There are few things that affect women as much as a gorgeous, well tailored suit. How do you feel about masks? Jeans and a t-shirt with a simple leather mask can be incredibly sexy and moderately scary. Post pictures when you figure it out. [:D] -Miss Ellen

TheHungryTiger -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 5:21:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 Oh my yes yes yes. Yummy yes. Salivating and um did it get warmer in here?A well dressed man who is comfortable in his clothing really stands out from the usual crowd. A tailored suit is really worth the cost, it just shows so well.I bet you could easily mix a few period pieces in as well, create your own style with quality items. Remind me sometime to show you pictures of me in my zootsuit. Fedora. Two tone shoes. Pocket chain. The jacket comes down below the knees. ..... As for mixing in period pieces, I use an insturnment case as my toybag. Kind of gives the feel of the chicago gangster with a hidden tommy gun. Though it did cause kind of a disruption once at a convention when I got onto an elevator dressed that way.

EclipseAbove -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 9:36:37 AM)
I feel your pain. There aren't many clothing options if you are male, straight and dominant. Any other combination of orientations and there is just tons and tons of options out there. This will not fit with your love of period clothing as it is a very modern look, but what I go with that hasn't been mentioned so far is a fetish version of jeans and a t-shirt. You can get jean-style pants in leather, shiny pvc, matte vinyl and pleather. Pair them with either black t-shirts with an obscene saying, a mesh or shiny shirt, or even a Dragonfly button-down shirt (50's style bowling shirt but with biker/skulls/flames on them). Add boots and a few accessories. Again, it may not fit with what you are looking for but maybe you can take something from it that will help you. Best of luck to you.

John665623 -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 10:30:32 AM)
I agree well, dressed, no matter what style you choose is best. It can be nice black jeans, slacks or leather pants with a very nice shirt with a collar. Polished shoes or boots.

TheLibertinistic -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 11:26:59 AM)
Granted. Manner matters more than clothes, but both my sub and I have massive hard-ons (or whatever the relevant term for girls is) for visual aesthetics.

TheLibertinistic -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 11:30:53 AM)
I kind of want to start a thread about interesting toybag choices. Personally, because I tend to go at least somewhat formal for my domming days, I use a rather nice leather briefcase whose pocket arrangements turn out to be perfect for the assortment of books, rope, metal bits and needles that I generally need to have on hand. I also get some sensual pleasure out of the sound of the locks on it opening, as one of my play partners has developed some pretty strong associations with that sound.

iammachine -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 12:51:44 PM)
quote: Does anyone else run into this problem? I dunno, but I think I'm in love... err, well, lust at least. Rope sluttery, fashion conciousness and steampunk. drool In my not so humble opinion, you can never go wrong with leather. Leather pants and whatever top that will look good with it and match the occasion; a button up, a leather vest (for that rugged leatherman look), a harness (are we seeing where my roots are here?), a form fitting tshirt, uniforms of a various sort are always sexy. You can have the military look without looking like a facist, most retro officer stuff is pretty spiffy, and hell, even your standard modern BDU's have their place. As for more period looking stuff, you may run into difficulty there. Not in finding things, but in function. Form fitting is good, form fitting is fabulous, not having loose material getting in your way when you're working is always an asset. Unfortunately, with period garb, it isn't always designed with movement allowance in mind, so that's something to watch out for. Vintage shops, ren faires, and google-fu for "alt.gothic.fashion.faq". You may not be a goth kid, but goth kids have the corner on the market when it comes to finding fashion, there's a ton of relevant resources and shop listings there. Similarly with the problem of period garb, cyberwear can be a problem. It's hot, it's really hot... I love it, I have spent entirely too much time and money assembling cyberwear, let me tell ya'. Form and function can again be an issue, since a lot of pieces aren't really meant to be worn and can be rigid or hang away from your body. You can have some of the asthetic without as many of the drawbacks by reeling it in and going "cyber light". Check out gear for ravers (dane, cyberdog, etc), it tends to be softer and more comfortable than the more out there stuff (which you would probably have to make yourself...) and you might even think about modding or using motocross gear as a basis. Additionally, on the softer and more manageable side, EL wire (google it!) is really cool stuff, pretty much it's flexible neon in string form.... the possibilities are endless. Happy perving!

sexyred1 -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 1:04:55 PM)
While I am fine with a Dom being dressed in a suit or jeans, nice shirt, boots or nothing at all...I do have to say that it is nice to see a man who is interested in the visual sense of clothes and how they make you feel. It is really how I feel when dressed in lingerie or fetishwhere, it just enhances everything...

MistressNoName -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 1:19:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheLibertinistic Okay, aesthetics matter a lot to me in my play. I got into rope bondage because it was prettier and more free-form than other fetishes (lol opinions) and I frequently leave my submissives dressed during scenes because I'm more interested in prettified objectification than in nudity (and sometimes even sex). I'm basically a slave to my aesthetic sensibilities. Here's my problem, oh board: I have found very little that appeals to me as attire to wear when domming people. I feel under-dressed if the girl's all lingerified and I'm just in jeans and a t-shirt. I took to wearing button-up shirts, suspenders 'n boots, a la http://dvntdom.com/CF1gallery.html, but that still only covers some occasions. Help! Some notes about my aesthetic sense: I abhor latex, I do not have the body for it and I think it tends to make people look like dildo impersonators. I'm on the fence about fascist-uniform-wearing, they were snappy dressers but I wouldn't be able to wear it out of the house to events. I love Edwardian, Victorian, and quasi-period stuff (and have a hardcore fetish for steampunk machinery) but haven't managed to figure out a way to convey authority in it with quite the vehemence that I'd like. Does anyone else run into this problem? Contrary to popular belief...you don't have to dred to be rasta... What I mean by that is, you don't have to wear leather to BE leather... International Master 2005 (I believe that was the year) Sir Stephen, won a leather title and NEVER wears a stitch of anything leather or rubber...He runs a victorian household and dresses the part...and he manages to pull off his Dom-dom quite well. It's all in your attitude and who you are as a person. So, you decide who you are and the clothing will come to you. My 2-cents. MNN

uberprog -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 3:25:26 PM)
Stunning jackets. Velvet especially, but also pinstripe. Subs go gaga for a good jacket. Or mad scientist for your steampunk side. There are always labcoats. Or you can wear a dress shirt with a waistcoat.

chellekitty -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/9/2007 9:11:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer Think of any and all "possitions of power" and you have another drag option. Police, Gangster, Soldier, Business Tycoon, etc... the limits are only those of the imagination. quoted for emphasis... other than that...visually...clean, well put together, and unless you are trying to drive subs like me crazy (in a not good way) no out of period/costume accessories....ie. a modern rolex does not go with your 40's gangster outfit... other things to think about...facial hair (it grows back or grow it in, you know ahead of time when you're going to something you will be planning an outfit for) and head hair (not so much cutting but styling)...oh and shoes are important! thats all i can think of right now...it would help if you have a OCD sub to give you a look over before you leave...lol

sirguym -> RE: How can I dress dominantly without looking like an idiot? (10/10/2007 8:13:54 AM)
Riding wear, Highland outfit with Scottish kilt, period wear, there are always options. I get a lot of it from charity (thrift) shops, lots of well-off, well-dressed elderly people never wear their formal clothes much and their clothes find its way to such shops when they die ...

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