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RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:04:08 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Short answer....anyone who has to "define" what they mean by "no limits"......HAS limits.


That's profound.

I imagine that even the person who sparked this thought for me (by asserting she has no limits) does in fact have at least the limit of who she offers no limits to.  Otherwise one would figure she'd be chainsaw fodder by now. :)



Ahhhhh now this more like it we are ONLY on page 3 and the chainsaws have come out!

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:05:55 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		"No Limits" got Christ killed on the cross. Either that or he forgot his "safeword".

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:10:12 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

"No Limits" got Christ killed on the cross. Either that or he forgot his "safeword".


LMAO

I once told somebody that.. "Do you recon he forgot his safeword?"

bad bad bad.. I Like It!

Gwyn

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:11:39 AM   
kirii


Posts: 79
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

"No Limits" got Christ killed on the cross. Either that or he forgot his "safeword".

LMAO
Ok, I found that quite humorous J

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:24:13 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

Oh yeah!  If, in a public play setting, a submissive says she has no limits, I get shut down inside because...

I don't know whether to believe her.

I fear it's going to go badly if I show her the edge of my limits.

And my pattern of wanting to please my temporary date is so very strong.  Who wants to be known as a selfish top who doesn't satisfy?  Yuck.

Hell yes, I know the feeling of dealing with her offer of no limits in discord with my own, at least in play.



I have to believe that every one has limits.. well except for that bloke that let the one guy chop off his willy, try to eat it.. kill him, and make steaks out of him eating him a bit at a time for weeks on end. Now THERE is a serious No Limit person.

But otherwise the rest of us are playing at it. We all have some basic needs, and some basic limits. Don't kill me, don't amputate any limbs.. there are some odd folks out there that no limits goes pretty damn far. When you say No Limits.. you had damn well mean it in my book.

When I subbed I would tell them my thresholde was absurdly high... and I had a great tolerance for many a thing. I do not like putting limits on play but I had some ground rules. No poo, no dead things, no one underaged, nothing causing death, dismemberment, or perm. scarring, some species are a right out no, and nothing that would put me at risk to get cooties. Other then that.. I'm your girl. Every one should have a specific list. There are some wierd and sick beyond all reconing people out there.

Also if they use gags, have a hand signal that must be obeyed as a tap out, or safe word. ( 3 taps works in the pony world.. I dont see why it wouldnt here )

As with you any one procliaming no limits.. esp in a public scene simply does not understand the conotations.

I have as a sub walked that thin line of razors edge.. they havent a clue.


Gwyn,
who last time she did a public scene as a sub Dom/mes were comming up to her asking her what her safe word was, and why she wasnt using it.  *ahh to be a pain slut*

_____________________________

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Come for the boobs, stay for the brains.

Be the kinda woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the Devil says "Oh shit, shes awake..."
~ Softandshy's "Shiney"

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 10:38:04 AM   
vield


Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		" I have no limits" is a staement with several possible meanings:

It may mean that I do NOT understand what limits are.
It may mean I am soooo desperate for a partner that I CLAIM this. It is never ever really true.
It may mean that I am an abuser telling you this to let you know your hard limits are not going to be honored.
It might mean that I have total trust in you and my trust includes the belief that nothing you will want to do will be something I do not accept. This easily can lead to some big surprises that I may in fact NOT be ready for.
This statement may well also mean that the speaker is NOT safe for me to play with.
It may mean if you are the speaker that I ought not to believe much of what you say.
You may or may not like using safe signals or safe words or safe calls, or any other things like that. However if you do not honestly negotiate your hard and soft limits, your likes and dislikes, then it is going to take a lot of wasted time before I can find the best ways to enjoy playing with you.

_____________________________

As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 11:03:58 AM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Even if you did, you still have her lack of limits to deal with-in discord with your own. Ever consider not measuring up? Double edges cut both ways.


Totally!  I think subs get the short end of the stick sometimes and it goes unrecognized because it is tough to be demanding as a sub.   Thanks for sticking up for the underdogs RR!  My ex never could come to terms with actually hurting me or making me cry and thus never got me to that really intense space I craved and I knew was in there.

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 11:08:35 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Even if you did, you still have her lack of limits to deal with-in discord with your own. Ever consider not measuring up? Double edges cut both ways.


Totally!  I think subs get the short end of the stick sometimes and it goes unrecognized because it is tough to be demanding as a sub.   Thanks for sticking up for the underdogs RR!  My ex never could come to terms with actually hurting me or making me cry and thus never got me to that really intense space I craved and I knew was in there.


YW...........I get off on the girls who like intensity. It's just freakin wild to let go and put the boots to someone who really NEEDS to let that be expressed. I never really got how you COULD love someone...and let that STOP you from giving her what she LOVES?

HARM is when you do something that can never heal. HURT is when you crank up the volume-huge difference.

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 11:12:07 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Anyone that figures they are going to screw around with my hard limits with out us first agreeing to do so would seriously get their ass kicked up around thier ears.

Remember, even if the Dominant is bigger and stronger, they have to sleep sometime.

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It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

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(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 11:34:28 AM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita
My ex never could come to terms with actually hurting me or making me cry and thus never got me to that really intense space I craved and I knew was in there.

It occured to me that, also, a jerk did really hurt me and make me cry when I wasn't ready to go there with him, despite having strictly negotiated and pretty conservative physical limits.  I think it is important to remember that a lot can happen that you don't expect, no matter how many limits you draw out, and personally safewording is not realistic for me when I'm in that space, I just accept my fate mentally unless I was being injured.  Anyway, it almost feels like laying down laws just beggs loopholes with people who are like that.  That is a big danger of casual or semi-casual play for me.  I'd never be 'no limits with a casual partner, and am hesitant to play casually at all becuase of the 'loophole' scenario. 

On the other hand, I am one of those delusionals who claims to have no limits and no safewords with my current partner.  Love, trust, respect, intimacy, intensity, compatibility, blah, blah, blah.... 

Shit, there goes my finger, maybe I should have listened to you guys.  Can someone help me with this bleeder before I lose conciousness, the guy with the knife is just laughing...



_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to Tigrita)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 11:40:59 AM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe
Even if you did, you still have her lack of limits to deal with-in discord with your own. Ever consider not measuring up? Double edges cut both ways.


Totally!  I think subs get the short end of the stick sometimes and it goes unrecognized because it is tough to be demanding as a sub.   Thanks for sticking up for the underdogs RR!  My ex never could come to terms with actually hurting me or making me cry and thus never got me to that really intense space I craved and I knew was in there.


YW...........I get off on the girls who like intensity. It's just freakin wild to let go and put the boots to someone who really NEEDS to let that be expressed. I never really got how you COULD love someone...and let that STOP you from giving her what she LOVES?

HARM is when you do something that can never heal. HURT is when you crank up the volume-huge difference.


Again, perfectly put!

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 11:52:31 AM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

For myself, and myself only; when I am discussing the concept of 'no limits' I always use it in the context of being with a person who I trust implicitly and in doing so, he sets the limits within the relationship, not me.
So, even if I can say that I have no limits; I am still adhering to the limits that he sets.



Exactly.  For myself, in the context of a LTR, when I have grown to trust the Domme and her moral compass, I can surrender my limits to her.  It means I trust her to have sane limits, and I will trust her judgement should she decide to change her limits at some future time.

That is not a connection I've made with every Mistress, nor does it come quickly or easily.  I often define the unconditional surrender of my limits as crossing the boundary between being submissive to her versus being enslaved to her. 

It is a dangerous step.  Should I ever choose poorly, the consequences can be devastating on every conceivable level: physical, psychological, emotional. 

However, when I've chosen wisely, it was heaven.... 

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 12:02:55 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

I imagine that even the person who sparked this thought for me (by asserting she has no limits) does in fact have at least the limit of who she offers no limits to.  Otherwise one would figure she'd be chainsaw fodder by now. :)


Before the descent into madness begins, let me make one serious post.

Its a widely held opinion by myself, people who have educated me in real time, and quite a few authors of well known BDSM books, that the "no limits" slave in the sense of a person who has absolutely zero boundaries or limits is a myth.

The "no limits" relationship that people narrate is "no limits" in the scope of a relationship where a slave sets no boundaries or limits with the Master.

However, the mentality and relationship dynamic of not setting limits with someone isnt the same thing as not having them.

I would enjoy meeting these people who make the claim that nothing can in fact harm them and they can do anything for a Master without some form of physical or psychological damage occuring.

I would also like to meet some of these people who glorify the idea of allowing a Master to do anything as something that is positive and wonderful.



< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/16/2007 12:05:12 PM >

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(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:14:20 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

So I feel like I'm in a bit of a quandary.  If my submissive has hard limits around her work or her kids or whatever reasonable negotiated boundary, I totally get that I'll respect that and at the same time I want her to totally trust me if it looks like I want to mess with those limits.

Am I a potentially bad Dom? Just living in the wrong era? :)


With your attitude, you could engage in some great mindfucks. The fact that you 'will' respect her hard limits is not the same as making her think that you 'won't'. It's going to be a delicate balance for you though because you don't want to lose the trust you've gained by making her question her own judgement in trusting you in the first place.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:23:35 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		OK, I didn't bother to read all four pages of this, so someone will have to tell me: did anyone bring up the chainsaw example yet?  Collarme threads on "no limits" always get to the chainsaw example sooner or later.

(in reply to Bondagenexus)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:38:51 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
OK, I didn't bother to read all four pages of this, so someone will have to tell me: did anyone bring up the chainsaw example yet?  Collarme threads on "no limits" always get to the chainsaw example sooner or later.


Third page - post 52 "Otherwise one would figure she'd be chainsaw fodder by now. :) "

No Nazi reference though, yet...

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:41:47 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Enough of the ignoring bandit stuff...what happened to Bob? O.o

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:48:21 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Bob has met his limits, I am afraid or he is at least temporarily taking his safeword and timeout.

TheOverseer

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:48:43 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
You wouldn't happen to have an extra pair of ruby slippers would you?


not on me...but i got a big bottle of glue and some red glitter...got a pair of shoes you want to convert?


Red glitter shoes.....now THERE'S a LIMIT!!!

OK, skip the shoe idea.....maybe I'll just make myself a Mocha Vodka Valium Latte and sit back and enjoy the show....lol.


Blue eye shadow and voting for Ralph Nader...those are hard limits!

winks ~ fairer than she


_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: No limits - and what it really means - 10/16/2007 1:49:28 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (there ya go)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 80
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