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RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 12:55:02 AM   
CuriousLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone? would you play with this person?


Yeah, sure, if they were around and I had the time, why not?  If I don't happen to care for them, meh.

One thing that this situation seems to beg is why would you meet without a call on the phone?  I mean, if they have the net, they probably also have the phone.  So why wouldn't there have been a call?  To me, if it just didn't happen to come up- like someone on the other side of CM.com who lives in the same town happens to mention that they're going to the same store I am, sure, no phone call.  But if I plan to meet someone, and they go out of their way to avoid a phone call- meh, that's a lil odd.  But, meh.

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 2:19:33 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		No.

I wouldn't meet someone just to play even if I had seen twenty thousand pictures and killed my phone battery twice talking to them.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 3:27:49 AM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		I know exactly what you mean about play, and I used (though probably misused is more correct) the word because that's what the question entailed, and it was just easier than to explain.   I myself, have never met anyone with the intent of simply playing...  For myself, the intent is courtship for a long term D/s or M/s relationship.   M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 10/18/2007 3:58:18 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 4:39:14 AM   
kirii


Posts: 79
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone? would you play with this person?



just asking as a hypothetical . . . personally i wouldnt play on a first meeting unless i was EXTREMELY comfortable. although im not sure i would even meet this person since they wouldnt be able to prove they were who i had been talking too.

I would and I have J Of course, I only play in public areas like clubs and dungeons though; which is quite different than meeting someone in public and then going with them to a place private.

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 5:00:19 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Why would you need a picture before you met someone. If your hung up on looks then you better hope that a person you meet dosent think that you are ugly. Part of the fun in meeting a person is to imagine what they look like then seen them in person. Your meeting them in the first place because you think that they are an interesting person. How many of you had seen a picture of your friends before you met them. Is there a possibility of play on a first date. Of course there is.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 5:05:21 AM   
TotalState


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why would you need a picture before you met someone.

So you can identify them when you show up.  So you know they aren't lying to you about age, gender, etc.  To get a token of mutual trust (assuming you are sending them your picture as well). 

Besides, looks matter too.  Don't pretend they don't.


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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 5:09:46 AM   
Aileen68


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone? would you play with this person?



just asking as a hypothetical . . . personally i wouldnt play on a first meeting unless i was EXTREMELY comfortable. although im not sure i would even meet this person since they wouldnt be able to prove they were who i had been talking too.


If they won't show a picture then I won't meet them.  I can understand not having a picture on a profile, but to not send one to someone that you've decided to meet with just seems sneaky.  I would immediately think they were lying about something  or covering something up.  I wouldn't waste my time with them after that.

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 5:12:57 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone? would you play with this person?


no - but i have encountered men who enjoy doing this a totally blind meeting with the expectation of sex on the 1st meet.


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(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 6:31:46 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Thinking about sending Aileen a pic. If your after a barbbie or ken then mabey looks do matter to you. Thats being shallow. Are you afraid some idiot is going to snicker at you because of the person you are with. Knowing what the person is like inside is what really should matter.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:05:31 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i don't give a flying fuck what you look like...really i don't...just look at my ex's...but if you won't show me a picture, i won't meet you...i don't play cat and mouse games where they are watching me looking for them...i've also had a guy have his friend come talk to me because he didn't think i would like the way he looked....i knew it wasn't him cause his friend was sleazy, though better looking (i think he pulled the tactic from a movie or something...) also...i put my picture out there...i, personally. don't have a problem with it...but if you're not willing to put a similar effort into helping me identify you...i'm not willing to drive to starbucks just to meet you, sorry...

on the playing on the first meet thing...if we're at a party for our first meet, the chances are much higher...but unless i have a really really good connection with you before we meet, probably not gonna happen....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:06:52 AM   
Aileen68


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Thinking about sending Aileen a pic. If your after a barbbie or ken then mabey looks do matter to you. Thats being shallow. Are you afraid some idiot is going to snicker at you because of the person you are with. Knowing what the person is like inside is what really should matter.


I'm not after Ken (he's gay anyway) but I do need to be attracted to someone physically along with the mental attraction.  If I've been talking to someone and it gets to the point of wanting to meet then the mental attraction is already there or I wouldn't have continued the conversations.  I need that physical attraction too.  The meeting should be to confirm any chemistry.  I don't think it's shallow at all to want to like how the person you may be fucking that afternoon looks.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:09:57 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		yes it is, terribly shallow...you should castigate yourself at the feet of the all mighty....shit...i can't bs my way any further...where's domiguy when you need him....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:11:07 AM   
laurell3


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Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Thinking about sending Aileen a pic. If your after a barbbie or ken then mabey looks do matter to you. Thats being shallow. Are you afraid some idiot is going to snicker at you because of the person you are with. Knowing what the person is like inside is what really should matter.


I'm not after Ken (he's gay anyway) but I do need to be attracted to someone physically along with the mental attraction.  If I've been talking to someone and it gets to the point of wanting to meet then the mental attraction is already there or I wouldn't have continued the conversations.  I need that physical attraction too.  The meeting should be to confirm any chemistry.  I don't think it's shallow at all to want to like how the person you may be fucking that afternoon looks.


WHAT Ken's gay? say it ain't so.....I made him have sex with barbie for years...poor Ken, I should have put him with GI Joe!

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:19:38 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why would you need a picture before you met someone. If your hung up on looks then you better hope that a person you meet dosent think that you are ugly.


Looks matter. I don't want to show up, not having exchanged pictures, than have to get the "well, I liked your personality but red hair/piercings/the shape of your nose/whatever turns me off so much I couldn't look at you during sex" speech. I don't want to have to give it either so a good picture can help avoid that. I don't hit on someone in a bar unless I find them attractive, why do so online?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:22:50 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		No, I wouldn't meet someone from the net sight-unseen. Cam at least. Anyone can show a picture and I don't want to be in the awkward position of having a look of shock on my face if they turn out to be uhhhg. Yes, looks matter.  Play with them? uh no.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:24:39 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why would you need a picture before you met someone. If your hung up on looks then you better hope that a person you meet dosent think that you are ugly. Part of the fun in meeting a person is to imagine what they look like then seen them in person. Your meeting them in the first place because you think that they are an interesting person. How many of you had seen a picture of your friends before you met them. Is there a possibility of play on a first date. Of course there is.


I agree with this in principal but not in reality. Forget about the physical attraction part it comes down to sincerity and trust building. If you cannot show me your picture I have found these people are either playing you or so lacking in trust on their end and not willing to put equal effort in the pursuit of something serious.

But outside of physical attraction and building of trust and sincerity a picture does not let me know them. Until I meet some one and spend serious time with them all the phone calls, emails and IM’s only can scratch the surface so meeting someone in person for the first time is always a little like starting from scratch.

Have I played with people in first meetings situation, yes I have. I know that many of us have from previous threads where this has been discussed. My willingness to do something though on the first meet comes from what happens on the first meet and not expectations or feeling obligated from all the previous communications.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:26:44 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone?

I highly doubt it. I can understand a person not wanting to send pictures for fear of being "outted" if things went wrong, but that makes us not a match. Valyraen and I go to BDSM events, I enjoy them very much, so when we find the right girl for us she will be expected to attend these events as well. While I am cautious about giving out my phone number, I do give it out before meeting.
quote:


would you play with this person?

Assuming they had something about them that caused me to go ahead and meet with them, it would depend. If things were going well and we were at a BDSM event with play areas, quite possibly - particularly if there were others willing to watch. However it would still be unlikely that I would meet with them in the first place.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:32:21 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		In a bar at the end of the night and after a few drinks everyone looks attractive.

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:34:56 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Been thru the phone number thing before. Women are far to free in giving out their phone numbers to people they have'nt met in person or even seen a picture of.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:37:43 AM   
secretagentgirl


Posts: 70
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		To me it is a matter of principle.  When you get into the online scene, sending a picture is the price of entry. 

This summer I was using Craigslist to meet people.  There was one guy who I had a few emails with. I sent him my picture and asked for one back.  He said something like "I'm not a Craigslist junkie.  I don't have a picture."  He was proposing that we meet, but it just bugged me that he had a pic of me and yet he wouldn't send one.  If there is a will, there's a way to get a picture.



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 40
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