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RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:42:48 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

In a bar at the end of the night and after a few drinks everyone looks attractive.


no they don't....and its attitudes like that, amongst others, that made it ok, in the mind of my rapist two years ago, to rape me...


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:44:00 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

In a bar at the end of the night and after a few drinks everyone looks attractive.


No.

No they really don't.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:45:03 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		My Sir and I actually have met a few people sight unseen. Not often, but it occasionally has happened. I think twice its been...oh, so you are going to the so-and-so munch, we are too, we'd love to chat more with you there. And once we actually met the couple for dinner. Normally we try to see pictures first..cause I have to admit Im shallow. Im not looking for my soulmate, I already found him...Im not looking for a relationship, I have one and thats the only one I want. So when we are looking to meet people to play...well..damn it Im gonna find someone I like to look at.....but....well....my standards are low....but there has to be some semblance of physical attraction or why would I be having sex with this person?

We generally dont play with anyone the first time we meet...whether that means sex or just S&M play, but if there is a strong enough connection and we feel truly comfortable with someone then we do occasionally. I dont think we have ever played with someone we met sight unseen, but I cant guarentee it would never happen.

If for some godawful reason I was single again, no..I wouldnt meet anyone without a picture and phone calls, and no I definantly would play on a first date....

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:45:06 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

In a bar at the end of the night and after a few drinks everyone looks attractive.


Ha...no they don't. 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:45:58 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Been thru the phone number thing before. Women are far to free in giving out their phone numbers to people they have'nt met in person or even seen a picture of.


I guess that depends on how a person's phone is listed (in the book, on the net or otherwise).  I give my phone number out asap to get to the nitty gritty of it all and to not waste time.  See how he talks etc. 

We bought up most of the *** digits in this area and the address that comes up is a  business in a different location in a different name. 

The nut recently that bothered me that I knew personally, I just call forwarded his calls directly to the non-emergency police dispatch. lol they took care of him.  

(in reply to secretagentgirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:47:32 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have met someone without seeing their picture first.  We had spoken on IM and by phone and had arranged to have coffee when I was in Denver for a seminar.  A planned 30 minute meeting for coffee ended up going 3 hours.  We had a great conversation and made arrangements to meet again the next day after the seminar.  We had a great meal with a bunch of touching thrown in this time and wound up going back to her place where things got heated.  We spent a few months together and are still friends.

That is the good...there is also the bad side which I have described in a different thread.  In the case of the bad, no picture but several conversations and IM exchanges of varying lengths.  In all honesty, she was better looking than the one described above.  Innocent looking, fresh...and a psycho from hell.  Yes, as you can imagine, she was indeed the one who dropped my toy bag by my head the next morning and told me I had 10 minutes to dress and leave or she was calling the cops.

Pix are good but they do not indicate the person inside.  Conversations do not always indicate the person inside.  Willingness, or not, to play on the first or second or third meet don't always indicate the person inside.

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 7:51:50 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

In a bar at the end of the night and after a few drinks everyone looks attractive.


oh gads...no..they dont....I worked as a bartender for quite a while...Ive seen alchohal cause some pretty gruesome hookups...but no amount of booze can make some people attractive...it can however casue you to lower your standards quite a bit....

Whats that quote..."Ive never gone to bed with a truly ugly person, Ive woken up with a few though".....

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 8:11:58 AM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daisymae03

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone? would you play with this person?



just asking as a hypothetical . . . personally i wouldnt play on a first meeting unless i was EXTREMELY comfortable. although im not sure i would even meet this person since they wouldnt be able to prove they were who i had been talking too.


I have met with one person without exchanging pics, neither of us cared about that overmuch. I also ended up playing with him on that first meeting. Not something I usually would do, but it just felt right.

Now, after 2+ years, we are still together. I am moving next week to be with him permanently.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 8:52:04 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Would I meet someone that I have seen a pic of or talked on the phone with. Yeah, I probably would.

Play with them? Not just no, but hell no. Them some crazy bitches outthere. I have to feel comfortable with the person after a few meetings before I would play with anyone.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 8:57:35 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

oh gads...no..they dont....I worked as a bartender for quite a while...Ive seen alchohal cause some pretty gruesome hookups...but no amount of booze can make some people attractive...it can however casue you to lower your standards quite a bit....

Whats that quote..."Ive never gone to bed with a truly ugly person, Ive woken up with a few though".....


my problem is that with the exception of two guys....every guy i hooked up with at from a bar...never went away....so i stopped doing that shit....lol....its the whole i can't kick a stray puppy to the curb concept....so i don't pick up stray puppies....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 9:37:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Scratches head. How many exceptions can a person make????  Sorry op did'nt mean to get off your thread.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 9:46:12 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		most of the time its better to just not making broad sweeping generalized statements....then you don't have to state the exceptions...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 9:54:02 AM   
daisymae03


Posts: 64
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		okay so just to clear a little bit on this up, if you had todl him that you werent comfortable meeting til you knew what he looked like , so you can identify him, and because hes got a picture of you, but says that he wont show you a pic of him because "hes afraid of where it will end up on the net", lives in the same town as you, has a phone but wont give you the number, is pressing to meet you "because you sound really nice" and its all in the vanilla would you meet them?


* Like i said previously, this is all for a friend, who is in the vanilla, she asked my advice, im asking yours. this is new info, personally im tellin her she shouldnt go to meet him alone if she does decide to go *

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" . . . a wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe and leaves before she is left . . ." -Marilyn Monroe

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 9:59:09 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		In short, daisy, no. Too many excuses. Trust can't be one sided.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 10:04:39 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		If she would feel uncomfortable with you around then call her on her cell phone a few minutes after they meet. If it is not workng out she can excuse herself and go.

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 10:08:26 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I would meet them if we were both casually going to the same event where there would be other people.  If someone came up to me and said, 'Hey I saw you online.  I'm so and so.'  I wouldn't be too creeped out, just flattered. But chances are if you won't send your picture, you're ugly.  And I'm shallow.  I have met people online and played with them in the same day---but it included pictures and phone conversations.  I'm still alive and still a virgin to boot!  Not saying those weren't ridiculously bad decisions or that I wasn't lucky...but that's how it played out and I'm relatively regret free.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 10:39:39 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

In short, daisy, no. Too many excuses. Trust can't be one sided.


I agree. I do not think it is about safety of the actual meeting if done in a public place as much as the other person cannot rise to a fairly small level of trust or is hiding something intentionally.

I would like to add though what else has he shared with her? Does she know his last name, where he works, his telephone number. If this person is just reluctant to share anything that might get traced back to him then that is a huge red flag. But if it is only a picture then maybe I can see meeting him.

I did deal with people unwilling to share a picture with me right away or even after several messages. My experience was that in itself was not the problem but the symptom of the bigger problem as written before, a complete lack of trust and equal effort to explore the possibility.

Edited to add last two paragraphs

< Message edited by toservez -- 10/18/2007 10:45:22 AM >

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 11:01:11 AM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

would you meet someone, even in a public place, if they wouldnt first show you a picture of them and if you hadnt talked to them on the phone? would you play with this person?


I've met people in public before that I hadn't seen or talked to on the phone for an appreciable amount of time. That is, we probably talked on the phone briefly, but mostly in the "yeah meet me over at blahblah, I'm the one with the spikey boots" kind of way, so not really for conversation so much as logistics.

Would I play with pretty much a total stranger? I wouldn't plan on it, that's for sure. I'm not one to say never, though. After all, I have played with people I had just met at a party before. Then again I was topping, and it was public play, but I digress.

I definitely would not play in private with someone I had just met unless A) We hit it off really really well B) They have more references than you can shake a stick at C) I can verify them easily D) The chemistry is bloody irresistable E) I have a safe call and a quick way out F) and no bondage bottoming for me!


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to daisymae03)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 11:05:20 AM   
Poppygirl


Posts: 41
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		oh yeah!!!!, i have had random hook ups! come here, met me, tie me up  and then fuck me and then leave. thats what i wanted so as long as my ass (no penetration) was left alone, please, bring a friend. i have given strangers blow jobs in their cars in the parking lot of the local hospital..... love it... so hot

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: would you ? - 10/18/2007 11:27:05 AM   
Absolutemaster


Posts: 79
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Poppygirl

i have had random hook ups! come here, met me, tie me up  and then fuck me and then leave.



Erm, I hope they had the courtesy to untie you before they left?

(in reply to Poppygirl)
Profile   Post #: 60
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