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It is Sad - 7/1/2004 9:56:23 PM

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
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i'm sorry but i had to say something here because i really like Collarme and have a lot of respect for the efforts and genuine spirit i've found. i just signed on a few minutes ago and found a rather attractive Pro Domme's profile photo at the top of the most recently online listings. i was impressed...until i read the journal entry where she dumps on those who may not be as attractive as she is.

It's beyond me why a remark like that need be posted. Perhaps she is insecure...who knows. i'm not trying to stir up trouble; it just bothers me to see such things. On the other hand (now that i've written this) perhaps it's a good thing...for she is telling everyone the kind of person she is. Still...it is sad.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

RE: It is Sad - 7/1/2004 10:03:23 PM

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Joined: 3/23/2004
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I just ignore the negative people. They're not worth the effort.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/1/2004 10:36:35 PM

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anthrosub and sarbon
FYI in Alternate Lifestyles
there is such a thing as
Humiliation that both
Dominant and submissives
enjoy either giving or recieving.
It is not any more sadder then
sumone whom enjoys a good
paddling or kissing sumones
stinkie feet. And you are right
anthro She IS telling all those
out here in Alternate World what
She is like and enjoys giving. I
also post the either negitive things
or absolutly hilarious things that
subbies say to Me on My profile
as well. It is the place for All of
us to post what We like or dont
like about sumone We have had
contact with or to tell about Our selfs.

(in reply to sarbonn)

RE: It is Sad - 7/1/2004 11:54:59 PM

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Joined: 6/30/2004
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valid point mistressDread i would counter with. Humliation should not be used lightly. It can be a effective tool for sure but to have it fomr the start i think is misuse. For one its most effective when teh domme and sub know each other. Has more of a impact. For another randomaly insulting people even subs. I dont know not my cup of tea i think thats rude frankly . Dont get me worn humlitation play can be a great elemente in a storng realtionship. It can take a sub to places he has never been to.

It can also make a sub truly hate himself and be abuse.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 3:07:50 AM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Unless I'm mistaken humiliation should get consent. One can argue to view the journal entry one hsad to scroll in that little window or view her profile so scrolling indicated consent, but...

Anthrosub, so you know know more about her. Should she lie? (Even just a lie of "omission".) What is her alternative other than changing who she is to suit someone she hasn't met?

BTW, you need to specify that the pro Domme was not ProDomme. ProDomme is a nice lady. (Well, nice in that horrible way we subs love.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 3:40:33 AM

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Joined: 6/10/2004
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Anthro:

We humans are wonderful, we need to tell the truth, yup, we need to. She described herself truthfully and it was offensive to you. Good! You read with your intellect and intuitive radar scanning her words.

It's not pleasant to sense the negative undercurrents in a person. We love to believe, at least I do, in the basic decency, well, except for the present squatters in the Oval Office, of our fellow souls.

This alternative lifestyle demands introspection. Kudos for the ones who are sad and alive.

itty

-----------------------

Blueberries are in season. 99 cents a pint.

(in reply to sarbonn)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 4:56:41 AM

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline

I find it ironic that you admit you viewed her profile because she was attractive. You even admit you were "impressed" with what she had to say up until she started "dumping" on the less attractive.

I find it quite amusing that she obviously met YOUR standards of Misstress appearance, yet she was rejected for having standards of her own. (Am I the only one that sees this outpoint?)

I have not seen the profle in question, so I have no inside information. But the reality is we all have preferences about physical characteristics we find attractive or not. We are entitled to them. Some people are more flexible than others in their willingness to "see beyond" their preferences....but we all have them.

Next....I am reminded of a quote I heard many years ago:

"Have you ever noticed...when you toss a pebble into a crowd, the only people that yell...are those that got hit?" unknown

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 5:28:03 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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actuallllllly
this is a
ALTERNATE
LIFESTYLE
and to Me
the expectation
that I am going
to be this nice
sweet
act like a
vanilla
type person
apon meeting
Me is
is totally
NOT REALITY.
I am a Bitch
from the
get go and
anyone
whom thinks
they desire
Me treating
them nice
just because I
just met em
is not living
in My world.
You hit the
nail on the head
italianalala
and I always
believe that
Honesty of
Self is the very
best way to go
even if there
are sum out
there whom
dont like who
You are, The
Good The
Bad and The
Ugly. And iwill
for Me humiliation
for Me is a given.
Its the being nice
sumone has to get
My permission for
Me to be as its one
of My Limits. LOL
get My drift?? None
of Us know each
other here hypothically
learning hence none
know what are
Others Likes or dislikes
but to rag on sumone
whom is honest
and upfront about
who They are here
in a Alternate Forum
is simply vanity at
its worse of the
one whom feels
that We all should
be candy coated
at the onset. I know
I Will NOT be. Im
a Sadist and any
one will know this
fact apon Meeting
Me in the real world
Lifestyler or Vanilla.
[My kink is not Your
kink but My kink is
just as valuable as
You kink.] I have no
shortage of those
whom seek out My
kurt Humiliating
attitude.

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 3:01:57 PM

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

Wow! i must say some of the responses to this thread have been a real surprise. As i stated in my original post, it was not meant to stir up trouble. As far as what went down...well, i signed on and there was this picture of the most recent Domme that had been online with a photo in her profile. When i said i was impressed...i meant i found her to be visually attractive. Before i read her profile, i started reading the journal entry which was visible right next to the photo. You know the rest.

Saying i viewed her profile because i found her attractive and met my standards is not exactly what happened. i had no choice in seeing the picture when the site page opened and after reading the journal entry, i didn't open the profile at all. But what intrigues me most from some of what's been said is the apparent "defense" of this person. Yes, it takes all kinds....yes, we all have our bubble popped from time to time in spite of wishful thinking...yes, everyone has a right to express themselves...and so on.

i'm further amazed about my pointing out what i read and then getting all sorts of attention focusing on what "my" preferences are. Yes, we all have our preferences whether we've worked through them or not. It seems to me the people who are the most flexible about this issue are the people who are outside the proverbial "norm" to begin with. But i will quickly qualify this last statement by saying i'm fully aware there are always exceptions, so no one has to write me and say, "I read your post and think I'm attractive but don't put a lot of stock in what others look like."

For the record, my preferences are pretty much middle of the road. If i meet someone who's stereotypically attractive...great but i'm not expecting or looking for that any more than i'm looking for someone who's stereotypically unattractive. i'm looking for someone who's attractive...to me...and i will know what that is when i meet her.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 4:07:14 PM

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

I think the mistake being made is confusing 'humiliation' with 'bad manners.' I don't go out to dinner with a woman who chews with her mouth open and talks with her mouth full. Someone who smacks the back of my head and demands the time of day can expect to get told what time it is in hell. Just because they are entitled to be a bitch, doesn't mean they are entitled to even a second of my consideration, beyond a measure of pity that they live in such a hateful, miserable world.

Essentially, I don't consent to humilitation by virtue of being on a public street, or website. On the other hand, I enjoy having a front row seat for when others humiliate themselves by assuming they have more power, value, or beauty then anyone else.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 5:41:20 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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hahahah yes
Voltare but
My poiint here
was that he is
no better then
that which he
complains about
dont You think??
Id say he was
passin a big
heap of humiliating
Her way thru Us here
as well. [Opens My
mouth up at Voltare
with a mint on My
tongue] ahhhhhhhh!

(in reply to Voltare)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 5:51:19 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Good point, UtahGoddess.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to UtahGoddess)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 6:24:10 PM

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Good point, UtahGoddess.

iwillserveu...
Which one?

Mistress Dread...
You've certainly posted enough times on this site to realize what people write is open to interpretation. i responded with clarification as to why i started this thread. i'm starting to get the impression that messages on this site should be confined to the neutral and bland, else risk being chastized for things not intended or sentenced to an endless stream of "This is what i meant..." replies.

i attempted to stand up for some common courtesy on this site and instead became the focus of that which i was pointing out. If there's any irony here...it's that.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 7:42:38 PM

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Joined: 4/17/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub
i'm starting to get the impression that messages on this site should be confined to the neutral and bland, else risk being chastized for things not intended or sentenced to an endless stream of "This is what i meant..." replies.

anthro,

First: IMO your original post came off condescending and judgemental toward the domme. "So sad," is what you said. So since we didn't see her profile we have a hard time really commenting on her. Just on you and your reaction. That's why people harped on you.

How about next time posting bits of the offensive profile and asking what the assembled board participants think? Most likely they'd laugh at her arrogance. It's okay to invite opinion before you share yours!

Second: I've never seen the board flame people for outrageous opinions. (And you're telling DREAD only the bland survive? Now that's funny!)

But they do often flame for closed-mindedness and intolerance. Hot-headed judgmentalism is second cousin to intolerance. That's what I saw in your first post.

Third: You don't ever need to post "this is what I meant" missives. It is sometimes more honorable just to chill--even if people misunderstand. (No need to slam the door or say you're done, either).

When you take a defensive tone trying to explain yourself... which IMO you did, (dissing us as being both discourteous and bland), you dig yourself into a deeper hole.

Fourth: This is true, and not opinion. Really. Threads take a life of their own. Even if you gave birth to the first post, you don't ever own the thread again. The thread crawls off to be nurtured, warped, seduced or molested by the community. If you send off your baby knowing that, you'll be less frustrated when it grows up to be lawyer instead of a doctor.

So yeah. You may start a discussion on arrogant and beautiful dommes, but the thread will twist into a discussion lawyers and doctors...

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/2/2004 8:08:32 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2004
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January...
Thanks for your thoughts. As i read, i had two streams of thought going through my head. One was something like, "Yes, what's being pointed out certainly does happen." and the second was, "Ok, i can see where each respondent is reacting to their own take on different parts of what i first wrote." Put it all together and i ended up with a mess on my hands.

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder...meaning is in the mind of the reader. In the meantime, it's late and i'm going on a trip for the weekend. Have a nice Fourth everyone.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to January)

RE: It is Sad - 7/3/2004 10:50:48 AM

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Joined: 6/10/2004
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Anthro, anthro, anthro,

This is a discussion board and we are responding to another person's view with our opinions.

I would become petrified if we agreed on all issues.

Consider this, you do not like people to disagree with you. Read the post I'm responding to, the last para. Pretend I wrote it, what is your impression of me based on your remarks?

Anthro, as an Italian all I can say is, eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ragazzino.

Ma'am

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/5/2004 3:04:14 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2004
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i just returned from my holiday trip and i'm glad to be home again. i hope everyone else had a good weekend as well.

Italianalala...
i understood what You wrote. When i start a thread or reply to one, what i say gets read by many others and of course, those who wish to reply will add their own opinion. So far...so good. Next, i read the replies and from what's written, i can tell that whatever i was trying to convey has often (often...not always) been overlooked, misinterpreted, or they simply want to add whatever my post has inspired them to say.

Case in point...You claim from reading my posts that i don't like people disagreeing with me. Sorry...that's wrong. What i'm frustrated by is what i just described above and when i say frustrated, that doesn't mean i don't like it. Not liking something and being frustrated by it are two separate reactions.

All i intended by starting this thread was to say i saw something that appeared rude and thought it wasn't very nice. That's all...nothing else. From there, it's been suggested i was trying to humiliate the person in question and that i'm some sort of hypocrite for pointing it out in the first place. To me, these are interpretations of what i wrote and January was very good to describe how these threads can take on a life of their own so to speak. People will think what they want and i can only attempt to remain true to myself in the process.

Thank You for Your thoughts.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to italianalala)

RE: It is Sad - 7/5/2004 5:12:29 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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The part about you being impressed because of her picture and being upset she uses that same standard.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to anthrosub)

RE: It is Sad - 7/5/2004 5:47:06 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

The part about you being impressed because of her picture and being upset she uses that same standard.

Ah...i see now. But this is starting to become complicated. If i find it rude to dump on someone because of their appearance, am i a hypocrite for finding someone attractive based on appearance? i understand that you're pointing this out. But my point here is that everyone has a reaction to someone's appearance whether it's important to them or not. i'm willing to bet every single member on this site looks at photos and "judges" them to some degree. If anything, i'm guilty of stating something we all do anyway.

i'm not religious but this is beginning to smack of, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone."

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: It is Sad - 7/5/2004 8:34:48 PM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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wohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
waiit a moment

did sumone just say that
I was BLAND???
[ jaw drops]
I am so so glad Im
seeing frustration
in the mind of the
holder. HA well if
My bland can cause
frustration imagine
what My BOLD can
achieve!!!
OOOOOh Jah
Im so tempted to
throw up a fat tittie pic!
]Looks over at the Mods~ok nawwww]

(in reply to anthrosub)

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