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Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 9:36:56 AM

Ysabo

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

girl is confused and heartsick, and needs advice from other Masters and sub/slaves, if possible.

girl's online Master has stopped talking to her (we were working toward moving this to real life), she was disobedient and did not follow her schedule as he had ordered. she got no sleep one night due to circumstances beyond her control, and returned to her bed after checking in and finding he was not online - she notified him that she was doing so, and would return. When she returned, she found that he had been on, and left a message saying "do what you want then, if you can't follow a schedule". That was 5 days ago, and he has not spoken to girl since, or acknowledged her communications to him.

girl has not been released, nor does she wish to be. she is heartbroken that her beloved Master is so disappointed with her that he apparently has given up on her. she begs for any advice that will help her soften his heart and allow her to be once more in his good graces. girl continues to follow her schedules and menus and orders, and sends him updates via email and here on collarme, as she believes he has banned her on Yahoo IM.

girl is not making excuses, she was disobedient, and she would gladly accept punishment to be corrected. IS he punishing her? or has he given up on her? Is there anything girl can do to rectify this situation? she will continue to obey his orders, what choice has she? she is a slave, she needs to obey. Please, if anyone has any advice that might help, girl would be much appreciative, and she thanks all who respond, in advance.

ysabo

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 9:42:50 AM

Posts: 88
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

If this is indeed a punishment, to ignore you, I feel pesonally it is a bad one. If he had told you he would ignore you it would have been easier to understand.

If he has decided he does not want you I feel he should tell you as well. But for one mistake.. It seems very harsh.
Perhaps he has encountered trouble of his own, and just can't get back to you right now.

My suggestion would be to follow his command still. If he is truly angry with you and that is why he ignores you it will show your determination to obey him.

I wish you strenght.

Lee

(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 9:47:13 AM

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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I personally won't stand for this kind of treatment...its NOT the sign of a person that is kind, considerate or caring.....so perhaps "girl" should just read the hand writing on the wall, and be thankful "girl" didnt waste years on a man that would treat somone this way.
Edited to add: I WOULD NOT continue to follow ANY "rules" this so called dom has untill you two have had a chance to at least talk...and I personally wouldnt even do that much but thats just me....

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 11/3/2007 9:49:30 AM >

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RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 9:55:52 AM

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Joined: 4/16/2004
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OMG, I'm sorry but this drama is hilarious. Ysabo, never give your heart to someone online, as you are tying it to a fantasy. These online venues were meant as a means of communication, and should only be used as such. Save your heart for when you have met and spent real time with the person otherwise you are bound to be hurt and disappointed over and over again.

(in reply to breatheasone)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 9:56:10 AM

Posts: 108
Status: offline

I would say that you should heed all the warning signs and move on. If the Master really wanted something significant with you, there would have been some sort of contact. If it were punishment, you would have known for certain. It sounds like you gave your heart quickly. Be glad this happened now.

(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 9:58:07 AM

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

Probably not the best idea to let someone you know only online micromanage you like that. Just sayin'.

But seriously, if he really meant to become your Master, he probably wouldn't just abandon you over one instance of a minor disobedience like schedule violation. Send him a final e-mail and move on. I know it's easy to give your heart away online, but be a little more careful next time, perhaps.

(in reply to Vanatru)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 10:07:52 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ysabo

girl is confused and heartsick, and needs advice from other Masters and sub/slaves, if possible.

girl's online Master has stopped talking to her (we were working toward moving this to real life), she was disobedient and did not follow her schedule as he had ordered. she got no sleep one night due to circumstances beyond her control, and returned to her bed after checking in and finding he was not online - she notified him that she was doing so, and would return. When she returned, she found that he had been on, and left a message saying "do what you want then, if you can't follow a schedule". That was 5 days ago, and he has not spoken to girl since, or acknowledged her communications to him.

girl has not been released, nor does she wish to be. she is heartbroken that her beloved Master is so disappointed with her that he apparently has given up on her. she begs for any advice that will help her soften his heart and allow her to be once more in his good graces. girl continues to follow her schedules and menus and orders, and sends him updates via email and here on collarme, as she believes he has banned her on Yahoo IM.

girl is not making excuses, she was disobedient, and she would gladly accept punishment to be corrected. IS he punishing her? or has he given up on her? Is there anything girl can do to rectify this situation? she will continue to obey his orders, what choice has she? she is a slave, she needs to obey. Please, if anyone has any advice that might help, girl would be much appreciative, and she thanks all who respond, in advance.

ysabo

This scenerio is sadly much like a long distance relationship I had.
I let it continue for too long.
As I look back, it was a pitiful existance.

(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 10:17:18 AM

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

Pick up the phone and call him. You are both adults and if you are that concerned, it's best to do it verbally and not via a pc.

(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 10:45:50 AM

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Joined: 5/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

Pick up the phone and call him. You are both adults and if you are that concerned, it's best to do it verbally and not via a pc.

Do you have his phone number? Or has he not given that to you?

(in reply to Squeakers)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 11:07:38 AM

Ysabo

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/8/2007
Status: offline

girl does not have his phone number, or his address, he has not chosen to give her those items of information. Unfortunately, this is much like another short online relationship that girl had with another Master on this site. she is thinking that perhaps this life is not to be for her, she apparently chooses very poorly *sighs* at any rate, thanks to all who responded.

(in reply to shellzbythesea)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 11:20:07 AM

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

Oh lord.

Ysabo, sweetheart, if this was going to move to real time, he would have been more forthright in his contact information ... unless this is a two-week-old (or a couple weeks more) thing.

I don't know how old you are or how new you are to BDSM but, baby, even the thought of this wears my patience thin. Life is too short to deal with such a crock of bull. It seems ineffective to cut the only mode of communication between you. There is a time for ignoring someone but there is also a time to explain the punishment and what it is supposed to accomplish. Sounds like a load of hooey to me ... but make of it what you will.

(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 11:28:36 AM

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Your online relationship was just that - not an entirely real connection.
To repeat what others have said - let it go and move on.
How about you seek 'real' connections after you have started your online relationship. i.e take it to the next level.

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RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 11:33:10 AM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

Well having recently gone through similar with a mentor I can relate however to the OP you must look at what you are writing more than likely he wasnt working towards anything always remember actions speak louder than words .. "(we were working toward moving this to real life)" a word of advice never accept an online "Master" unless you are prepared for what happens when the power button is pushed *what I do is allow myself open to mentoring and guidance from someone I call Sir and then if there is a connection upon meeting we would move forward to using a more suitable name "Master" ...always remember how easy it is to change an email change a yahoo ID.,,and that you really have no concrete way to stay in touch with him..if you were working towards real life *scratches her head* and you hadnt reached that yet ..Why are you on here pouring out real emotion?.......Now on the flipside if he is just ignoring to punish and you feel he will come back then I would suggest you setting a timeline for how long you will wait.... PS:Its not that this life isnt for you Ysabo its the fact you are jumping into relationships without even knowing the guys....anyone can shout out orders but thats doesnt make them someone who really wishes to be a Dom ..more true than not many men on here are just using here as a way to control something in their life because in fact they probably live in a vanilla relationship and have very little control over it....collar me isnt the sure fire site to finding a Master ..this is no different from getting screwed and used from someone you met on match.com....

< Message edited by mya75 -- 11/3/2007 11:37:17 AM >

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(in reply to batshalom)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 11:54:04 AM

Posts: 446
Joined: 8/3/2005
From: Los Angeles Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ysabo

girl is confused and heartsick, and needs advice from other Masters and sub/slaves, if possible.

girl's online Master has stopped talking to her (we were working toward moving this to real life), she was disobedient and did not follow her schedule as he had ordered. she got no sleep one night due to circumstances beyond her control, and returned to her bed after checking in and finding he was not online - she notified him that she was doing so, and would return. When she returned, she found that he had been on, and left a message saying "do what you want then, if you can't follow a schedule". That was 5 days ago, and he has not spoken to girl since, or acknowledged her communications to him.

girl has not been released, nor does she wish to be. she is heartbroken that her beloved Master is so disappointed with her that he apparently has given up on her. she begs for any advice that will help her soften his heart and allow her to be once more in his good graces. girl continues to follow her schedules and menus and orders, and sends him updates via email and here on collarme, as she believes he has banned her on Yahoo IM.

girl is not making excuses, she was disobedient, and she would gladly accept punishment to be corrected. IS he punishing her? or has he given up on her? Is there anything girl can do to rectify this situation? she will continue to obey his orders, what choice has she? she is a slave, she needs to obey. Please, if anyone has any advice that might help, girl would be much appreciative, and she thanks all who respond, in advance.

ysabo

babe, honestly i think he gave up on you... You have to stop doing what he tells you. He obviously doesn't want you to listen to him anymore. Seems like you're in the habit of disobeying him and not doing things to please him...which is probably why he gave up on you. Not to mention this toping from the bottom deal you're doing right now... <shakes head> not good. Give it up, already.

(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 11:59:03 AM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ysabo

girl does not have his phone number, or his address, he has not chosen to give her those items of information. Unfortunately, this is much like another short online relationship that girl had with another Master on this site. she is thinking that perhaps this life is not to be for her, she apparently chooses very poorly *sighs* at any rate, thanks to all who responded.

Greetings Ysabo. I too have to agree with the bulk of the advice given. Please realize that this is an online relationship and being such, it is full of pitfalls and perils to a D/s dynamic. You should realize that a Master wouldn't keep things hidden and not be forthright to his property. With him holding back info from you and only allowing online communication is a big warning flag for myself. There is a huge difference between a Master not telling all to his slave and deliberately being secretive.
Only you will know if this lifestyle is something you wish to continue pursuing. To find that answer, you'll have to look deep inside yourself to know. It may be possible that you may find what your are truly seeking by searching for a Master in r/l as opposed to strictly online. As another poster stated, online is great for a means of communication. Good luck and wish you well in what desicion you should reach.

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(in reply to Ysabo)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 12:14:45 PM

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Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

babe, honestly i think he gave up on you... You have to stop doing what he tells you. He obviously doesn't want you to listen to him anymore. Seems like you're in the habit of disobeying him and not doing things to please him...which is probably why he gave up on you. Not to mention this toping from the bottom deal you're doing right now... <shakes head> not good. Give it up, already.

Besides wading through the odd nature of such a strongly-worded and venemous post, how this is topping from the bottom beats me all to pieces.

(in reply to chickpea)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 12:17:46 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

*chickpea*
"Seems like you're in the habit of disobeying him and not doing things to please him...which is probably why he gave up on you"
I am curious what in her post led you to believe she was in a habit of disobeying?

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~**Mya Papaya**~

"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

(in reply to batshalom)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 12:29:03 PM

MistressPurpleFL

Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

I may not be submissive but I can tell you that I would not ignore someone I am truly interested in having serve me; I am more blunt and will tell him or her how I feel and if the offense is really bad it will warrant a punishment of some sorts. I don't like to waste time or have my time wasted so I would send him and email since you DO NOT have his number: that if he wishes to NO LONGER speak with you then he should just let you know instead of ignore you. Tell him you did not mean to be disobedient but life or whatever issue you had interferred with your schedule and you apologize but it is unfortunate that he could not understand.

***Also bear in mind that YOU have not MET in person so to allow someone you have known for a short time and have never met to manage or have that much control over your life is well a bit premature but that is just my view.

I personally only use the internet as a way to meet new people and potential slaves: a way of communication but I prefer to meet in person as soon as possible.

So I wish you the best in your dilema but also there are always two sides to a story but it seems HE doesn't want to be reasonable and as you mentioned this seems to have happened to you before.

The say if you keep doing what you have always done you will always get the same results. Do not give up being who you truly are if you TRULY are submissive because a few bad apples have found their way into your barrel JUST KICK THEM out of your life and enjoy yourself.

In my opinion if you find another potential Dom; if he is local to you make it a requirement to meet in a public place after a few weeks of chatting, A Dom who really wants to have you submit to him will want to MEET sooner than later especially if he is serious about you and the lifestyle BUT take your time.

Listen to the little voice inside you: look out for the RED flags that we as human beings like to ignore.

Be well

< Message edited by MistressPurpleFL -- 11/3/2007 12:32:49 PM >

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(in reply to batshalom)

RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 1:54:53 PM

mya75

Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

*chickpea*
I do agree it should have been handled in a sensible manner but I still dont get where you see she has disobeyed before...she clearly states it just reminds her of another relationship....and that could be where the Dominant didnt live up to what he said he was and vanished just like this one has....I didnt look at the thread as her being some ornary sub but thats just me....

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"A fool learns from his own mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others."

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RE: Mournful slave seeks advice - 11/3/2007 2:18:57 PM

Posts: 2798
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From: Tampa, FL
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*sigh* Dear, it sounds to me that your Master was looking for a reason to dump you so he wouldn't have to come up with an excuse why he's never going to 'move this to real'. This way it gets to be all your fault. He never called you and never gave you his phone number because he had no intention of ever meeting you in person. You did what you could to explain the reason for not keeping the schedule. He's not punishing you, he's just talking more often to the other 15 or so females he's playing the same internet game with. sheesh.

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