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Dominant bottom? - 8/6/2005 12:12:53 AM

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I know that D/s and S&M don't have to overlap, but it seems that a lot of people blend them together so that their positions in one reflect on the other (Dominant top, submissive bottom).

But, and I'm not going to ask "is it weird" because I know it's just me being a decidedly unique individual, the more I learn about myself and WIITWD, I've come to the conclusion that, despite my previous thoughts and posts about really being in the grey area on most things, I lean towards being Dominant in D/s relationships and a bottom in S&M play. Anyone else out there similarly quirky like that?

Random note - I was on the receiving end of my first flogging the other day. It was a stingy flogger and he didn't hit me as hard as I'd really like, but I think he was nervous. The guy is pretty 'nilla, but I asked if he'd do it and he did it just to make me happy. *WEG*

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/6/2005 10:23:00 PM

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If forced to avoid the nice and simple "kinky" and "switch" labels, "dominant bottom" would be the one I'd pick. I occasionally like the idea of non-sexual control over someone, do like the idea of being the top during sex, as well as the bottom, but would probably find the idea of being told to do things I didn't want to that were non-sexual to be rather irritating. (Though, admittedly, I'm a really really nice guy, and will tend to help out even without being asked, so it would take an odd demand to irritate me.)

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</sarcasm>

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/7/2005 3:37:16 AM

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I am only dominant from the bottom in that I want to be beaten to a pulp in certain areas, not others.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/8/2005 4:45:09 PM

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Actually .. god I hate using this phrase .. in the "old days" the reference to the roles people played when, well, we played was just like you've already written it. One was a "dominant top" or even a "dominant bottom", each referring to their separate kink preference in D/s v SM. This "tent" that we now call BDSM has become SO diverse with SO many conflicting opinions, ideas blah blah blah, that personally I've gone BACK to saying dominant top or submissive top or dominant bottom etc..... of course, then there's me, who is all of the above ...lol... I think "greedy pig" applies best for pure switches like me.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/16/2005 3:41:33 AM

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There are so many people out there that are quirky like that, it would take days to read all their names. So for now, I'll leave it at "yes".

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"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/16/2005 7:03:41 PM

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There may be, Naked, but I still feel odd because not many - here at least - seem willing to admit to it.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/17/2005 4:45:02 AM

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quote:

But, and I'm not going to ask "is it weird" because I know it's just me being a decidedly unique individual, the more I learn about myself and WIITWD, I've come to the conclusion that, despite my previous thoughts and posts about really being in the grey area on most things, I lean towards being Dominant in D/s relationships and a bottom in S&M play. Anyone else out there similarly quirky like that?

That is not my main configuration but I have found myself in that dynamic before and it's quite pleasurable. I've used boys as service tops. What can I say, I'm a sensation slut.

I say go for it Calliope ;-)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 8/17/2005 4:54:06 AM

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Now I'm impatient about moving because I know my soon to be roomie can be very evil and sadistic when she wants to be. She's the one that showed me this site, so I'll probably ask her to play with me.

The guy I mentioned in my first post is now on his yearly hitchhiking adventure. Dammit.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/15/2005 12:50:18 AM

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I guess i sorta fit into the dominant bottom thing. I like to be submissive but in the things that I like or want. I guess that is what a dominant bottom is. I like to submit and be tied up and waled on and treated ruff during sex with a women. But like I said in the ways im into. I dunno if its topping fromt he bottom or dominant bottom but it sure is great :)

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(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/15/2005 9:25:21 AM

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It's like I've posted before

Dom dose not equal Sadist
Sub dose not equal Masochist

I once told someone that I liked pain. So she begin saying "You're a switch, you're a switch" I asked back "How does that make me a switch when I have the other person on a chian and collar and ordering them to scracth there nails down my back and bite me hard in certain areas?" She said again "you like giving and reciving pain that makes you a switch" So replied "But I never serve or follow orders. I"ve never been anyones bitch or play a submissive role" She continued to say that likeing and giving pain is being a switch.

It's odd how the term "switch" get's tossed in with S/M and D/s. As for me, I give the orders, have controll, and give the finall say. When I demand pain, my sub better give it. If enjoying pain makes me a switch in someones eyes, then they need to visit me. I'll show them my submissive side which dosen't exist. They'll find me %100 DOM.

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(in reply to TiffanySlave)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/16/2005 4:54:51 PM

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I have a submisssive nature...but I am not a masochist at all.Not even OTK,lol.I became a Domme in order to please my ex b/f.he wanted me to top him and he taught me about flogging and paddling him.Restraints etc.
I had someone on bcom tell me I was a switch b/c I enjoyed strap-on play.However what it boiled down to for me was pleasing my mate.That is being a sub.

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Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/19/2005 9:37:25 PM

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I think you would appreciate Midori, if you ever get to see her in person or read her, she talks about this.

You can be a masochistic top or dominant, and vice versa. You can be a sadistic bottom, or submissive. (top/bottom is the position, dom/sub is the relationship/power, etc)

Just be true to yourself and let go of the labels. Star

(in reply to LadyofLight)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/25/2005 5:06:55 PM

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I like putting the chiquita bannana label on my cock......but, I'll try to stop!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to Lahstarr)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/26/2005 11:52:32 AM

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OH I feel so much better. Yesterday a friend of mine was telling me" You are a switch babe".
And it just did not feel right. I like to recive pian, I like to get whiped and cut and burned and much more, but I have always thouht that Ii did this from a Dom position. The very first girl I ever experimented with...when I was seventeen..She was extreamly submisive and well.
We liked to twist a bandanna, wet it, and whip her. Well I decided I wanted to try. And told her to do this to my back.
She found it difficult, and was extreamly timid. So I put her back down and showed her my displeasure...after that I got what I wanted...I had always felt this was a Dom....situation.
But yesterday I was talking of this experience, and much more to my friend and she insisted I was a switch, that wanting these things was submissive behaviour.
It really had me in knots, I could not sleep last night.
Well I still have many questions, doubts, etc. but I just feel so much better that I found this post.

(in reply to fastlane)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 9/26/2005 2:45:22 PM

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Glad that people can identify with what I was saying! As I commented to a friend the other day, I like pain, but I like it on MY terms. I stay in control, even when I'm being hurt to sate my masochistic urges.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to Awakener)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 10/28/2005 2:27:55 PM

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Well me is a totally different side of it....

Im a dom.. or at least i think...Thomas said that im a switch.. but i shake my head and dont agree.. but he is my daddy and im trying to learn more from him... last night i was thinking.. i dont like pain.. i like inflicting pain.. i like being in control.. but at times i dont mind getting a spanking , and dont mind when Thomas is in total control of my body..... so i guess that makes me a switch? I like being in total control of female subs/slaves ... but i let Thomas and him only be my master...

A.S.

< Message edited by chgodomcouple -- 10/28/2005 5:13:15 PM >

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 11/14/2005 2:04:51 AM

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I always thought i was a pure sub but the past year or so has really shown me i'm more of a switch and in being a switch a dominant bottom switch. I like taing pain and being trampled etc but i like to call the shots and i'm definitely not into being humiliated. It's been really hard for me to accept but it's starting to make alot more sense to me now.

(in reply to chgodomcouple)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 11/21/2005 2:14:49 PM

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Wow I love this thread because I do think that so many of us don't fall into neat little boxes. I've gotten into some confusing situations with this since many people describe themselves in ways that don't really get across what they really want.

I've been told by someone that she's submissive...but if that means certain situations that are set up to really be on her terms...I don't think thats the same kind of submission as "do whatever you want with me". I do hate identifying as a "switch", but I guess I haven't really figured out what I like. Controlled loss of control? Hmm....

(in reply to RealmOfSenses)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 11/21/2005 2:17:28 PM

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I totally agree ROS. Humiliation just doesn't do it for me. It's pretty hard to humiliate me to begin with.

I just think control is a sexy thing. Having it. Giving to someone else...
Very hot.

(in reply to Krasnaya)

RE: Dominant bottom? - 11/24/2005 8:53:47 AM

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quote:

I lean towards being Dominant in D/s relationships and a bottom in S&M play. Anyone else out there similarly quirky like that?

Yes! That is me exactly. Just like you said..." I like pain but I like it on my terms"

< Message edited by LadyCompassion -- 11/24/2005 8:57:21 AM >

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

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