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RE: real life dominatrix - 7/11/2004 9:44:14 AM

LadyDragnWarrior

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Alabama
Status: offline

iwillserveu: This is my final post on this subject and I only respond because you directly requested answers.

The internet message boards, chat rooms and instant messengers are very interesting places. So much can be miscontrued as there are no gestures, facial expressions (emoticons not withstanding) or voice inflections for additional input. One can only take one's own perception of the written word and interpret it. iwill, you were "interpreting" and therefore mistated my meaning. (I refer to the use of offended, neutral and upset).
This paragraph, then, answers your first question. I can ONLY interpret your word, or anyone else's for that matter, and hope that they have the skills to write what they mean and leave less for open interpretation. If you choose to view that as an attack on your skills, so be it. I make the statement in general not specifics.

As for your second request; I do not disagree in general with your original definitions. I would add, however, the category that I and many others, fit in. Reputable Pro-Dommes provide a service. Not to equate the occupations but merely as a comparison, not unlike massage therapists, gardners, electricians, therapists and so on. Most do not solicit clients but are approached by them. Reputable Pro-Dom/Dommes listen to what the client wants/needs and does their very best to meet those wants/needs. There is no sex involved. (As a side note, many of us are candidates for joining the AARP, too, and proud of it.)

One never knows who's reading these message boards and taking the information as facts rather than opinions, representative of each individual's experiences and perceptions. Bottom line, had you included in your definition of Pro-Dommes, with or without commentary, that of one who provides a requested service for an agreed upon rate with no sex or ulterior motives, we would not have had this lengthy discussion. So, maybe it was all worth it, who knows?

Lady Dragon Warrior

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/11/2004 7:37:44 PM

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

methinks, perhaps, they doth protest too much - thy bolt must have struck quite close to home to elicit such an avid response

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Off topic, making nice with LadyDragonWarrior - 7/11/2004 8:12:33 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Lady Dragon,

Hatchet buried.:)

Just to clarify any misunderstandings: In my zillion and a half posts I have mentioned Pro-Dommes as being intelligent woman who are helpful and really do have lots of overhead.

Despite the common perception they are not prostitutes with whips. A Pro-Domme knows more than just how to satisfy a kinky john by feeding his fetish. A prostitute with a whip never truly gets power from her sub as he calls the shots from below. "First you tie me up, then call me a bad boy, and then give me a blow job. Then I pay you $100." Sometimes a prostitute with a whip has even learned a few terms like "tribute", "consensual blackmail", and "financial domination". There is nothing wrong with that as long as everyone is clear on it.

A Pro-Domme does not have to have sex with her client. She may, but the choice is hers not his. He gives her power over that. The sub might have a special request that she agrees to fulfill (i.e. "please use me as an ash tray") but sex is not one of them.

I think our misunderstanding was in differing definitions of "prostitute with a whip". I saw Pro-Dommes falling under #2 not #1; the original fault was mine for not being clear about that.

I think we also may've stumbled onto a regional word usage difference. In New England only neophytes use the term Domanatrix instead of Domina or Domme. (Like neophytes say sci-fi instead of SF or trekkie instead of trekker.) Is it different in Florida? (Apologies if that is not where your from.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyDragnWarrior)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/15/2004 3:05:37 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: echowolf429

is it possible to find a real life dominatrix or are most "pros"? if so how do i find the woman who is in it just for the enjoyment.
echo

Please be carefull with your assumption! It's entirely possible to be BOTH pro and lifestyle. An ethical pro/lifestyle Domme will let you know upfront if she's seeking a client or a partner. Please don't perpetuate the myth that we can't be both!

---> Lady Womanji
Former ProDomme

(in reply to echowolf429)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/15/2004 4:57:30 PM

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline

Dominatrix, Domme, Domina, Dominant, Mistress..............
Call me what you want, in my opinion, it's all semantics with a little snobbery thrown in for good measure.
Are there any (insert label here) who aren't interested in extracting your wallet from your pants?
I'm pretty sure there are, but I'm not sure what percentage of those offer a fully equipped dungeon/playspace and a toy collection which cost them lots of $$$$$$.
I'm both lifestyle and pro.
I have 'personal' subs and a sissy maid who don't pay me a single penny. They are with me because they want to be.
Whoever the sub, professional or personal, they are never in any doubt as to the context of the 'relationship'.
Whatever the label someone wishes to stick on me, I'm still the same person, the label changes nothing.

quote:

Is it different in Florida? (Apologies if that is not where your from.)

I'm in Fl, there is as much label snobbery here as anywhere else in the world, IMO, it's all a bit silly.

(in reply to LadyWomanji)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/15/2004 5:56:25 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrsDoris
Someone should wash that boy's mouth out with Lava Soap.

After some observation of this little sub creature, I'm starting to think this is what he wants ;) Always provoking the Dommes!

But in all seriousness, iwill, from the little time we've been crossing one another on the boards, I've come to realise your intentions are good. But it took me a while to realise that and I think you'll see this happen often. You do come across abrasive at times. But I’m getting used to it ;)

One little comment though how b) an experienced Domme/Domina/whatever who is looking for newbies who don't even know that much (in post 5) was meant to be b) was good (in post 16) is a bit of a stretch.

I think there are other types of Dominatrix indeed. I bet some just totally love their job. And more then likely, they offer an amazing service to the men (and the odd woman here or there) that drop to their knees for them.

Ladies, I salute you.

- LadyAngelika

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MstrsDoris)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/15/2004 6:00:14 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian
methinks, perhaps, they doth protest too much - thy bolt must have struck quite close to home to elicit such an avid response

I disagree. I imagine it must bite to be considered as possibly a prostitute with a whip. I think these ladies are perhaps standing up for the image of their profession. They are definitely courageouse ones.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Thanatosian)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/15/2004 6:58:56 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Angelika,

Am I only one to see a connection between lava soap and abrasiveness?

quote:

One little comment though how b) an experienced Domme/Domina/whatever who is looking for newbies who don't even know that much (in post 5) was meant to be b) was good (in post 16) is a bit of a stretch.

I agree it was worded poorly. The Domina is looking for newbies who don't even know that much because she'd rather not have to deal with pre-conceived notions and guide a neophyte along as opposed to taking advantage of the guy who does not know better. (Is that poor grammar? It is a long sentence but seems OK, but I might just be to close to it.)

quote:

iwill, from the little time we've been crossing one another on the boards, I've come to realise your intentions are good.

Wow you don't hate me even if I never consider the perspective of Eskimos in all I do?

Wow! You misspelled “realize”. Nyah, Nyah, in 101 post you misspelled a word!

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/15/2004 7:27:29 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Wow! You misspelled “realize”. Nyah, Nyah, in 101 post you misspelled a word!

Way to take an olive branch and snap it in half boy!

FYI #1 – English is my second language. I’ve gotten to master it well but I’m much better lorsque je m’exprime en français.

FYI #2 – Hmm. Am I going to do it? Yes. iwill: Your perspective this time is quite US-centric

Seeing that I'm no so strong in English (but I French fantastically), then I guess it's surprising I know the variations.
... -ise / -ize
Commonwealth colonise, harmonise, realise; American colonize, harmonize, realize (and derivatives and inflexions therefrom: colonisation - colonization). This is a somewhat artificial distinction, since the most authoritative British sources, the Oxford English Dictionary and Fowler's Modern English Usage, prefer -ize, and most British writers use either freely; however, British editors tend to enforce that the norm is to use -ise as the standard orthographical practice. ( source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_English )

And it goes on. But I made my point. And you, well you stick with your insults and low blows. Karma catches up.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 3:19:40 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Way to take an olive branch and snap it in half boy!

Angelika,

One misspelling in 101 posts. A sentence with an emoticon. Do you think that was a compliment disguised as an insult?

BTW there is need for a homosexual perspective on the BDSM in the news/ defeat of a constitutional amendment board.

Oh and I saw you bat away an olive branch being offered by avmvdp, by the way. I could never match you in that department.

< Message edited by iwillserveu -- 7/16/2004 3:21:33 AM >

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 5:23:13 AM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I wonder what would happen between iwill and Angelika if both assumed the other meant WELL, even if it doesn't come across clearly, as the basis for their interactions.

It would be nice to see that put to the test.

As always, your mileage may vary.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 7:35:50 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
One misspelling in 101 posts. A sentence with an emoticon. Do you think that was a compliment disguised as an insult?

I don't get your emoticons iwill. Honestly, I have no idea what they mean.

quote:

BTW there is need for a homosexual perspective on the BDSM in the news/ defeat of a constitutional amendment board.?

Please explain this, I do not understand what you mean.

quote:

Oh and I saw you bat away an olive branch being offered by avmvdp, by the way. I could never match you in that department.

Just because he and I do not agree with most things, doesn't mean that when we agree with something, I cannot point it out.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 7:36:45 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I wonder what would happen between iwill and Angelika if both assumed the other meant WELL

MizSuz,

You don't have to wonder! I have made that assumption. I tended the olive branch. Not only on this forum, but on others. But it comes back to bite me in the ass it seems.

With all do respect, I never though iwill didn't mean well. In fact, scroll up MizSuz and see that I have said exactly that in previous posts (see post 26 in this forum):

quote:

But in all seriousness, iwill, from the little time we've been crossing one another on the boards, I've come to realise your intentions are good. But it took me a while to realise that and I think you'll see this happen often. You do come across abrasive at times. But I’m getting used to it ;)

And I still continue to make the assumption. I figure sooner or later he'll find another target ;)

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 7/16/2004 7:41:52 AM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 3:58:13 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Angelika,

Since you obvious don't understand, let me make this clear. I'm insulting you now.

To make it worse I have proof.

First what part of

quote:

One misspelling in 101 posts. A sentence with an emoticon. Do you think that was a compliment disguised as an insult?

did you not understand?

You had no problem correcting everyone else's spelling but you get upset when your is corrected. Hmmm, I wish I had a word for that.

You insist I post because I crave attention yet it was you who insisted I "acknowledge" your post. Hmmm, I wish I knew that term.

You claim to not understand emoticons when you use ":)" (";)" actually) Hmmm, well you got the idea.

You claim you are not baiting but make whole posts designed to attack me. Hmmm, (you know.)

In posts that I'll have hard time finding because you were not fueding with me, you called Leonidas an ape. Avmvdp asked if you two could agree to disagree, and you continued your attack.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 4:00:51 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Angelika,

quote:

And I still continue to make the assumption. I figure sooner or later he'll find another target ;)

You're right it is me.

I should have figured out you'd never understand

quote:

One misspelling in 101 posts. A sentence with an emoticon.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 4:11:44 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

iwill. drop it. I'm tired of your harrassment. I've brought it on myself perhaps, but I've been trying to back out for sometime now and you are relentless in attacking me.

I resolve to ignore your posts from now on and I would appreciate if you ignored mine

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 7/16/2004 4:13:45 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 4:17:55 PM

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

I wonder what would happen between iwill and Angelika if both assumed the other meant WELL

MizSuz,

You don't have to wonder! I have made that assumption. I tended the olive branch. Not only on this forum, but on others. But it comes back to bite me in the ass it seems.

With all do respect, I never though iwill didn't mean well. In fact, scroll up MizSuz and see that I have said exactly that in previous posts (see post 26 in this forum):

quote:

But in all seriousness, iwill, from the little time we've been crossing one another on the boards, I've come to realise your intentions are good. But it took me a while to realise that and I think you'll see this happen often. You do come across abrasive at times. But I’m getting used to it ;)

Angelika,

Please feel free to call me Suz if you like (it's my name). <smile>

You are certainly not the first to get off to a rocky start with iwill, and I doubt you will be the last. I can't speak to his intent with you because I don't live in his skin, but I can speak to my own interactions with him and I believe him to be a thinker who usually is quite gentlemanly. I'm rather surprised that he has not yet (or I haven't yet seen) posted regarding his faux pas with the spelling. He was wrong...not just because you are a domina and 'subs shouldn't...yadayada" but because he was simply wrong. My experience is that he'll step up to the plate in times like this. I'm willing to wait and see.

I've often been told that my writing style seems a bit stiff and sometimes condescending. I assure you, as a general matter of course that is not my intent. I also realize (or, just as correctly, realise) that sometimes the offense lay with the reader (meaning it's just the way they took it). My unsolicited opinion as an outside party watching is that perhaps some of both is going on - on both sides of the coin. But I'll leave it to the two of you to figure that out.

I had no idea that english is your second language. Take that for whatever it's worth. I live with a Canadian whom I love very much and know to be a very compassionate and kind, highly functional (reads NOT a whack job) individual; and sometimes her writing style says "I'm a stuck-up bitch." It just ain't so; but I can see how it can be taken that way on occasion. We both write for business all day long, and perhaps it's easy to seem a bit stiff and formal when that's how you write all day. I've been told (by people that don't know me r/t) that my writing style is stiff but people who do know me usually say "I can hear you speaking when I read your writing."

My point is what we perceive isn't necessarily what the writer intends.

All of this actually means squat. I'd been awake all of perhaps 20 minutes when I made the post, hadn't had coffee, and would have been much more correct in keeping my mouth shut and leaving to the two of you to sort out. Which is what I'm going to do now. Good luck to you with it, I mean that!

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/16/2004 4:44:01 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
Please feel free to call me Suz if you like (it's my name). <smile>

Thanks Suz.

quote:

You are certainly not the first to get off to a rocky start with iwill, and I doubt you will be the last. I can't speak to his intent with you because I don't live in his skin, but I can speak to my own interactions with him and I believe him to be a thinker who usually is quite gentlemanly. I'm rather surprised that he has not yet (or I haven't yet seen) posted regarding his faux pas with the spelling. He was wrong...not just because you are a domina and 'subs shouldn't...yadayada" but because he was simply wrong. My experience is that he'll step up to the plate in times like this. I'm willing to wait and see.

Nope. Just more insults and right out lies.

quote:

I've often been told that my writing style seems a bit stiff and sometimes condescending.

I find your writing just fine :)

quote:

I had no idea that english is your second language. Take that for whatever it's worth. I live with a Canadian whom I love very much and know to be a very compassionate and kind, highly functional (reads NOT a whack job) individual

It is. I received all my basic schooling in French and only recently have been doing my Graduate degree in English. I practice hard at it. And living and writing with a Canadian, you are aware of the Commonwealth English then. ;)

quote:

My point is what we perceive isn't necessarily what the writer intends.

Agreed again. But my perception is that when there is tension because of things written, then one should try to put out the fire, not fuel it with more sarcasm and things that could be misinterpreted. And how am I supposed to interpret "I am insulting you now"? And accusing me of things I have not done. As I said, he's being ignored now.

quote:

Good luck to you with it, I mean that!

Thanks! I came on these boards to have fun! And gosh darn it I'm going to have fun ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/18/2004 11:51:51 AM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I'm rather surprised that he has not yet (or I haven't yet seen) posted regarding his faux pas with the spelling.

MizSuz,

One misspelled word in 10 posts? Assuming a post is only 10 words long, that is over 1,000 words. 99.9% right is a good score. I'm surprised I had do this math FOR YOU.

Ever hear of a left-handed compliment? That was a left-handed insult. The poor logic was as bad as Republicans attacking one of Kerry's purple hearts. (I better spoon feed you: even if they are right that leaves two and your guy should want to highlight military records from thirty years ago.)

Oh, you posted before coffee; now needing me to explain real basic stuff makes sense.

Angelika,

quote:

Nope. Just more insults and right out lies.

On what board would you like me to copy and paste YOUR POSTS where you
a) criticise someone's spelling
b) demand my acknowledgement
c) call Leonidas an ape
d) insist I consider the homosexual perspective but poo-poo the Eskimo perspective
e) the board you declined avmvdp's (who needs to buy a vowel) peace offering was deleted, but maybe he has a copy.

I'm being nice. I'm letting you pick the board where I show I am not a liar. (In fairness she did not call me a liar only said I lie. Perhaps someone can tell me the difference.)

By the way is what she's doing libel or slander?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: real life dominatrix - 7/21/2004 8:10:42 AM

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Fellow Dominants
iwill enjoys attention
if he cannont gain his
positive strokes he
goes after the negitive
ones. I have enjoyed
watching him Top from
the bottom and he cannot
resist this. Those here
whom dident read
the last sentance
on his posts. He has
allready apoligized for
his actions that he
knows and all here
whom knows him
knows he will take.
he is a sarcastic jokester.
As the Mods said
All whom are new
to these boards
would best be
served if they read
ALL of their contents
first befor jumping
in to make comment
or take those comments
that are in left or right
field to heart befor learning
who of Us are the Bad Girls
and Boys....giggles......JMO
and for the poster, in your opinion
what is a *real* Dominant thats a
Woman? Please give Us your definition.

ok so Im in a good mood today...............

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