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RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 11:29:14 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		im a submissive and i serve one dominate and im married. i find no trouble in this as all are aware and consent to the araingement. this may not work for all of the bdsm folks but it works for M'Lady and my wife so were happy. 

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 9:48:31 PM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: subspace08

A submissive isn't really owned. Slaves are owned. A submissive can submit to anyone she feels like



Where did this definition originate?
I'll let Darcy know, that I'm not really 'owned'.  I know many of the submissives here who have masters will feel the same of such a statement that they aren't really 'owned'.
I didn't get a 'choice' - my submission doesn't work like that.
Crap myths abound still hey - you would think that grown adults would have outgrown such fairytales.
 
the.dark.

 
This goes along with the myth that one has to be fully collared to be owned... being owned is a mindset, not a symbol.


Slaves are owned. Submissives are not. If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"

If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.

Or, a pet.  I guess. A human pet.


< Message edited by shootingstar67 -- 12/2/2007 9:52:11 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 9:52:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67
Slaves are owned.

Except when they aren't.

quote:

Submissives are not.

Except when they are.

quote:

 If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"

Except when they aren't.
quote:


If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.

Except when you aren't.

You really don't expect people to just agree with you and say that you are the Be All and End All of how people identify and work in their relationships, do you?




_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 9:53:44 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Does it really matter? I mean, as long as the people involved are aware and happy about the situation, so what?

The basic principle of BDSM is anything is possible between consenting adults.

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(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 9:54:06 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67
Or, a pet.  I guess. A human pet.

LOL you're already modifying your statements and you think we should just agree with you and say that you are absolutely right?

You're wrong.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 9:55:24 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67
Slaves are owned.

Except when they aren't.

quote:

Submissives are not.

Except when they are.

quote:

 If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"

Except when they aren't.
quote:


If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.

Except when you aren't.

You really don't expect people to just agree with you and say that you are the Be All and End All of how people identify and work in their relationships, do you?





Agreed.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 10:02:10 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

Slaves are owned. Submissives are not. If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"

Really. I don't recall giving you permission to define my relationship and my life. Your attempt to assert authority is denied.
quote:


If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.

Or, a pet.  I guess. A human pet.

Again - denied. I am not chattel, I can not be bought and sold at whim. I am owned and I am a slave, a submissive and a pet! But I'm not collared...

Mmmm....

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/2/2007 10:03:10 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 10:05:32 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Slaves are owned

Some are; some aren't. Depends on the people involved.
quote:

  Submissives are not

See the answer above; same applies
quote:

If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave" 

NO. Some are , some are not. Once again, it depends on the people involved
quote:

  If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.

Or, a pet.  I guess. A human pet.


Once again. No, you are wrong. You sweeping generalizations are just that...close minded thoughts of a one true way.

You must get lonely on that pedastal.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 10:20:17 PM   
shootingstar67


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67
Slaves are owned.

Except when they aren't.

quote:

Submissives are not.

Except when they are.

quote:

 If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"

Except when they aren't.
quote:


If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.

Except when you aren't.

You really don't expect people to just agree with you and say that you are the Be All and End All of how people identify and work in their relationships, do you?







I have felt completly owned as a submissve in the past, even to the point of what they call "internal slavery" (where you can't leave) But until I have offiically consented to being owned and define MYSELF a slave..then no I am not a slave.

I could feel owned but if I don't sit down and think about it and deliberately CHOOSE to be owned, then I am not owned. If in the natural course of relations I start to feel a certain way then that is something that happened, NOT a deliberate choice on my part

Just because you feel owned doesn't mean you are owned inless you have agreed to that relationship

At which point you I would be either a slave or a pet. Both slaves and pets can belong to multiple people.



_____________________________

I am a Female Submissive exploring these boards.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/2/2007 10:28:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

I have felt completly owned as a submissve in the past, even to the point of what they call "internal slavery" (where you can't leave) But until I have offiically consented to being owned and define MYSELF a slave..then no I am not a slave.

Right. Except that is you. Not anyone else.
quote:


Just because you feel owned doesn't mean you are owned inless you have agreed to that relationship

Just because you think you can speak for others in relationships that you don't know anything about doesn't mean you can. Funny how that works, huh?
quote:


At which point you I would be either a slave or a pet. Both slaves and pets can belong to multiple people.

See... there is the problem again. You just can not define what other people are in their relationships. You lack the authority, information and experience with them. At best, you will be politely ignored. At worst, openly laughed at. Unless you happen to find a group with the exact same hard and fast rules and anyone who doesn't fit into the neat little box is wrong.

The only thing you are right about is that slaves and pets can belong to mutiple people. However, so can submissives.

Remember, what is right for you and your relationships is only right for you. You lack the authority and dominance to apply it to anyone else.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 2:06:30 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		I am owned.  We do not live together.  He owns another and has a wife and other passions.  In addition, I have two bosses at work.  I have no problem at all serving two masters at work and cannot imagine I could not work out the complexities which might arise from serving to owners.  You ask about when there are disagreements.  Reality is I find my bosses rarely if ever disagree and when we do the 3 of us work it out.  I'd imagine I'd choose a second owner who is suited to me, to us, and has the skills to also work out the rare occasions when there's not alignment.

I don't need things in my life to be simple and straight forward.  And I gravitate to others who have skill at handle complexity and ambiguity when it arises.




_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 7:05:50 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i beg to differ - i'm a owned submissive yet neither call me "slave". 

like everyone else has repeated so nicely, it's merely a matter of your own opinion and interpretation of your relationship however your opinion/interpretation does not define mine with my Owners/Doms.  i'm not treated like human property nor am i chattel for Daddy (or my SO) to let others use me. they don't like sharing with others.

what you just said in your response probably describes your relationship more than it does mine.  


_____________________________

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(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 7:34:22 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

Slaves are owned.


No.  Some are.  Some are not.

quote:

Submissives are not.


Some are - Some are not.

quote:

If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"


Maybe for you.  But not for me.  I am not a slave.  What are you going to do - tell Darcy what I can and cannot be?  Like to see someone try that one day.

quote:

If you are owned you are property. You are human chattel. You are a slave.


Except those who are owned who aren't.  Again - some are - some are not.

quote:

Or, a pet.  I guess. A human pet.


And there we go - you are defining as you are writing.  And it is purely a guess.  Great if it works for you - but you cannot define everyone and everyone elses relationship.  So for us and many others - you are wrong. 

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 7:42:20 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		do i detect a theme here?

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 7:43:45 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67
But until I have offiically consented to being owned and define MYSELF a slave..then no I am not a slave.


Just because you feel owned doesn't mean you are owned inless you have agreed to that relationship



You don't define what you are in a relationship when you have consented to being owned - well not unless you are topping from the bottom.  Your Owner/Master/Mistress decides what you are - not you.  You may get to make a request, you may get to ask.  If you get to decide, then what is the point - seriously?
If you feel owned and are told you are owned and you belong to someone you are owned.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 7:53:00 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

If you are a submissive who is owned you are a "slave"
  No, I'm not a slave. To me, slavery is something involuntary and terrible. Slaves are the girls that are smuggled over the border to be prostituted out and fear for their lives on a daily basis, among other examples. I will not give my happiness the same name as their suffering.

How dare you try to define my life for me.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to shootingstar67)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 7:56:36 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

No, I'm not a slave. To me, slavery is something involuntary and terrible. Slaves are the girls that are smuggled over the border to be prostituted out and fear for their lives on a daily basis, among other examples. I will not give my happiness the same name as their suffering.

How dare you try to define my life for me.


to me slavery is the only way i can be content (happiness comes and goes)...i will defend your right to call yourself whatever you and your owner wish to, but please do not post such broad and missinformed definitions...this lifestyle does not use "standard" definitions for many words, slave is one of them...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 8:17:01 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

No, I'm not a slave. To me, slavery is something involuntary and terrible. Slaves are the girls that are smuggled over the border to be prostituted out and fear for their lives on a daily basis, among other examples. I will not give my happiness the same name as their suffering.

How dare you try to define my life for me.


to me slavery is the only way i can be content (happiness comes and goes)...i will defend your right to call yourself whatever you and your owner wish to, but please do not post such broad and missinformed definitions...this lifestyle does not use "standard" definitions for many words, slave is one of them...


We may not use the standard defination but that is a very valid defination of slave. It is why I am not entirely comfortable with the term. It is also why I believe no real or true slave exists on this board. To me, the only real and true slaves are the ones who do not consent to their slavery, whose families will mourn them and never know what happened to them. That is the defination that she uses and that I agree with. If you can post your defination, why can we not post ours?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 8:37:48 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

We may not use the standard defination but that is a very valid defination of slave. It is why I am not entirely comfortable with the term. It is also why I believe no real or true slave exists on this board. To me, the only real and true slaves are the ones who do not consent to their slavery, whose families will mourn them and never know what happened to them. That is the defination that she uses and that I agree with. If you can post your defination, why can we not post ours?


because my definition does not violate this rule of the TOS

"Keep the discussions civil and mature, and do not insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others."

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom - 12/3/2007 8:41:17 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

We may not use the standard defination but that is a very valid defination of slave. It is why I am not entirely comfortable with the term. It is also why I believe no real or true slave exists on this board. To me, the only real and true slaves are the ones who do not consent to their slavery, whose families will mourn them and never know what happened to them. That is the defination that she uses and that I agree with. If you can post your defination, why can we not post ours?


because my definition does not violate this rule of the TOS

"Keep the discussions civil and mature, and do not insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others."


No one is insulting the kink. It is stating that real and actual slavery exists and some people are uncomfortable using the name of that sorrow to describe something beautiful. It is exactly the same as no series of numbers, excluding a wedding date or birth date of a child, will ever be tattooed on me. No slave number or anything because we feel it is too close to the numbers tattooed on Jews by the Nazis.

Does that make people who call themselves slave or get their slave numbers tattooed on them wrong? No. Not in the least. It just means what works for them does not work for me.

Edited to add: If you also look back you will see that she spoke entirely in terms regarding herself. She will not describe her happiness with that word. Nothing about what you or anyone else should do.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/3/2007 8:45:27 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 60
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