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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/25/2012 1:22:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy

Granted!

I wish Karmastic to be transformed into a praying mantis, where he can either live a life of celibacy or have his head bitten off during sex

Granted. I am transformed into a praying mantis. My head is bitten off during sex, but someone else grants me another wish, and my mantis head transforms back into my old human form.

I wish my head would stop ringing.

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/26/2012 12:53:08 AM

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Granted! but the surgery required to remove the bell leaves you paralyzed from the nose down.

I wish tomorrow will be a beautiful day

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;-)

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/26/2012 10:49:08 AM

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It is a beautiful day, for everyone around else but you slept right through it.

I wish the next sub I have doesn't turn out to be a "psycho bitch" as my daughter has labeled the last one...

(in reply to KittyCali)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/26/2012 10:59:43 AM

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Granted. You find the sweetest must subbilicious one imaginable. You yank her panties off and it's a "Psycho dude"

I wish my dog would stop eating his way out of expensive "escape proof" crates.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/26/2012 11:17:41 AM

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I had a dog that did that, I ended up buying this for him... http://www.petedge.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=45512&cm_mmc=Shopping-_-ShoppingComShop-_-ProfessionalEquipment-_-ZW17942

But in your case, you dog just stays in it and farts until you let him out...who knew that dog farts were corrosive?

I wish I had the money to go back to school this fall.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/26/2012 11:32:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

I had a dog that did that, I ended up buying this for him... http://www.petedge.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=45512&cm_mmc=Shopping-_-ShoppingComShop-_-ProfessionalEquipment-_-ZW17942

But in your case, you dog just stays in it and farts until you let him out...who knew that dog farts were corrosive?

I wish I had the money to go back to school this fall.

I got him one of those and it looks like you put McGilla Gorilla in there. Bars are bent and ripped out.

Granted. You win the lottery and are able to pay everything in advance but it turns out the Maya were mostly right and the world ends before school starts. Did I tell you they have a "no refund" policy?

I wish business would pick up some, I have more bills on the way.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/26/2012 8:33:42 PM

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GRANTED! But the business that picks up is porn. A porn producer has seen your picture on the "Bird Lips" thread. He makes you an offer you can't refuse - seems there's a growing market for your "look" - baby boomers and all. The wish is ruined because your "regualr" clients see the porn advert and drop you since they don't want to make payments to .... y'know... THAT kind of company.... And then the porn business dries up. You can only makae a joke about a huge white cock so many times.

I wish that Philly becomes a suburb of Denver and brings a particulaar man along with it. (He lives in Philly - get it?))

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/27/2012 6:59:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

GRANTED! But the business that picks up is porn. A porn producer has seen your picture on the "Bird Lips" thread. He makes you an offer you can't refuse - seems there's a growing market for your "look" - baby boomers and all. The wish is ruined because your "regualr" clients see the porn advert and drop you since they don't want to make payments to .... y'know... THAT kind of company.... And then the porn business dries up. You can only makae a joke about a huge white cock so many times.

I wish that Philly becomes a suburb of Denver and brings a particulaar man along with it. (He lives in Philly - get it?))

Oh, alright.... I thank y'all for not ruining my wish....

I wish I had a faster modem and connection and that I had Windows 7 and it all worked perfectly together and ....... it didn't cost more than double what I pay now.

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/27/2012 7:32:39 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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Granted you have a faster modem and connection as well as Win7, they work perfectly but your power gets cut off and you have no access to internet

I wish my fridge wasn't building Mount Everest because my freezer is leaking into my fridge!

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/27/2012 7:41:48 PM

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Not sure I quite understand what you are wishing for so here's a generic wish-ruiner for you: What you wish to stop does, but the way it stops is that the whole refridgertor / freezer combo turns into a hugh block of perma-ice from ceiling to floor and you can't get to the strawberry ice cream you just put in there. On the other hand, an electric fan gives you a pleasant breeze. OOPS! Wait....... but your power gets cut off and you have no access to the cooling breeze OR to the internet

Weird, Lance.... but it brings me to my next wish.

quote:

I wish I had a faster modem and connection and that I had Windows 7 and it all worked perfectly together and ....... it didn't cost more than double what I pay now.

AND my [electrical] power NEVER gets cut off and I ALWAYS have access to the internet.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 6/27/2012 7:45:38 PM >

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"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 12:05:12 AM

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granted! you always have access to the internet, but a virus grabs your operating system unbeknownst to you and it is sending your browsing history to the FBI, your spouse, your neighbor and your boss.

i wish i could meet the man of my dreams ...

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;-)

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 12:21:31 AM

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Granted! You submit yourself to an experiment in mind/machine interfaces and now you browse the Internet using your mind.
However the experiment is flawed and you can never leave the Internet, real life passes you by...

I wish my boots were waterproof...

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 12:23:47 AM

ExquisiteStings

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Granted. But the man of your dreams makes things a living hell because he's just been to J. Hopkins U Hosp and had his genitalia re-arranged into that of a female.

I wish my roommates' cat that killed my webcam gets out the door and runs into a pack of vicious attack dogs.

(in reply to KittyCali)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 12:27:57 AM

ExquisiteStings

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And about the boots? Granted. But then a blizzard comes and though your boots don't get ruined, they're not fur lined and your feet freeze.

I wish that the other cat that is the sister of the one who killed my webcam would stop sitting on the kitchen counter after coming out of a litter box that 4 cats use

(in reply to ExquisiteStings)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 12:45:07 AM

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granted! but your roommate is distraught and gets a kitten, who not only chews the heck out of the webcam, but pees on the keyboard and uses the screen as a scratching post.

i wish i could have a week between today and tomorrow so i could get caught up at work and then rest for a while.

_____________________________

“Have you ever noticed how much they look like orchids? Lovely!” R.A. Heinlein

;-)

(in reply to ExquisiteStings)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 1:03:56 AM

ExquisiteStings

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Aw nuttin' will be happenin with the stupid cats anymore cause my door is closed. your wish is granted but then the parameters of time change and weeks are only 3 days long and days have been cut to 12 hrs.

(in reply to KittyCali)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 1:05:02 AM

ExquisiteStings

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i wish i wasn't gettin so sleepy but i gotta wish you all a lovely evening

ES

(in reply to ExquisiteStings)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 9:55:30 AM

tiggerspoohbear

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Granted, you're not sleepy at all. But then it turns into insomnia and you can never sleep properly again.

I wish my apartment magically unpacked itself while I slept, then it would look like an apartment NOT a warehouse.

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"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

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RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 12:01:52 PM

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Granted, your apartment magically unpacked itself while you slept. The problem is that there was no one there to give it direction so you have been tossed out the window.

I wish my car had brand new high performance tires.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

RE: Ruin A Wish - 6/28/2012 4:23:11 PM

MysticFireTopaz

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Granted. However, right after you got the brand new high performance tires, the engine died. You took your car into the mechanic, who said it's too expensive to repair and you end up having to buy a different car, so the new tires are doing you no good.

I wish I could resolve the legal issues with the car I inherited.

(in reply to Bill41)

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