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RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:00:54 PM

kails

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/7/2007
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ok .... more info.

This was the second time Id seen this Dom. We'd previously been to a pub, Id been given money that didnt quite total the drinks bill so I added to it for my own drink.

Id happily fed him out of my cupboard and did not keep a 'tab' as suggested by some. It was just something I realised later, after I was expected to pay my own way.

I had told the Dom in general conversation (before he arrived) that I was broke.

No-one left a tip, we are in Australia ... we dont do tips generally. Staff are paid reasonable wages.

I watched the man go for bills then change his mind and go for almost the exact money. I couldnt believe it.

As far as being unsubbly (new word) it was my view .... that if I was required to be an independent self sufficient woman. I could do whatever I wanted.

In future ... I will always make sure I know who is paying when I am ordered to go out.

There are other financial situations concerned here that peeved me ... but not enough and certainly not enough to bring up here.

The man was Cheap .. he wanted his sub and his independent modern woman. When it suited him. It was nothing about obedience, control, testing... it was about keeping money in his pocket .

Thanx for all your replies. Im surprised at how heated this got.

(in reply to masterlink65)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:14:13 PM

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kails

I still say you should have poured the drink over him and then smashed the glass against his head

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RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:15:42 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
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Okay... Now I am pissed. In thje original post, you said that you had fed him several times, now you say it was the 2nd time you saw him. In the original post, you said he had 5 cents change, now you say he came up short. I think you are a lying, attention seeking, pain in the ass. Go peddle your bullshit eslewhere.

What a POS!

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to kails)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:19:39 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
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Second time that you had seen him, but you "have been playing with this Dom". And you surrender all control to this Dom, whom you had only seen one prior time.

The word tick-turd comes to mind. A tick turd is a very small, insignificant piece of shit.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:20:42 PM

kails

Posts: 5
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline

hang on .... are u reading correctly?

Breakfast, lunch, tea, ???? ...

FIrst time he came up short .. second time he gave me the exact money ... except for 5c change.

Wow .. nastiness is so quick here

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:23:14 PM

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Is anyone else as confused as I am?

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(in reply to kails)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:25:58 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
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I think you have misled everybody here. Was the original post so long ago that you couldn't keep the story straight? You should be very ashamed of yourself for taking advantage of our concern.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to kails)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:26:49 PM

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Sorry kails I'm going to have to agree that you seem to have drama issues. You ended a potential relationship solely over a beer and giving him food once? Is d/s bdsm about money for you? I'm not sure it's actually a reflection of subliness or lack thereof but a lack of maturity on your part and communication on both your parts. Did you think about actually just explaining to him that you felt upset over the issue rather than just running out?

I would add that this doesn't change my position that masterlink's comments about "true subs" and all that other dogmatic bs have no merit whatsoever.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/5/2007 7:40:04 PM >

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to kails)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:27:34 PM

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You , being Aussie, I was hoping you could straighten it all out

G'day
Jeff

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:31:39 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

I agree about the mlink BS.

I think this had nothing to do with her subliness or his Domliness or his character. This ends up being about her character. She has bent the facts ( if they ever were any ) to fit her agenda. If you are confused about how so, I will gladly detail, but truthfully, all you need to do is compare the original post with this most recent drivel. I am absolutely disgusted.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to laurell3)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:34:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kails
As far as being unsubbly (new word) it was my view .... that if I was required to be an independent self sufficient woman. I could do whatever I wanted.

I wouldn't call it being "required to be an independent self sufficient woman." I would call it submitting to the dominant that you said you gave full control to. There is nothing in the submissive handbook that says the dominant has to pay for things when you go out.

quote:

In future ... I will always make sure I know who is paying when I am ordered to go out.

I would also add that you should spend time getting to know someone before deciding to give them full control. Find out if they are actually compatible with what you want before handing over authority.

Knight's Kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to kails)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 7:39:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I would also add that you should spend time getting to know someone before deciding to give them full control. Find out if they are actually compatible with what you want before handing over authority.

Knight's Kyra

Words are Cheap... without the actions to back them up.

It would seem that her words are as cheap as he is with his money

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 8:23:53 PM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
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I am done. I seem to have drawn the negative attention of Mod 11 again.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to KnightofMists)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 8:41:00 PM

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tick-turd is bad, m'kay?

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(in reply to OldBastardly1)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 9:24:38 PM

Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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you may pet my dogma if it does not snarl or growl, but please do not feed my dogma, its on a very strict feeding schedule.

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 11:22:51 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

So basically you're a whore and he needs to pay for your time. Because ultimately that is what you're saying. He needs to shell out the dollars to take you somewhere. LOL. Ironic that you want him to take on an expense that you yourself won't take on. You say that you happily want him to take control but when he does it, you cry foul. And yes, telling you to pay for your own drinks is still controlling the situation. Maybe you should try dating a submissive man if you don't want to pay you own way?

Going "dutch" is simply a "way" of paying that some are more comfortable with. Some on the other hand (both male and female) are not comfortable with "going dutch".....the only important thing is that the preferences are in accordance with each other when dining a deux.

The comment about being a whore for expecting him to pay for her drink ( i suspect she wasn't expecting any compensations by the hour) was about as reasonable as calling him a dependant charity case because she fed him at her place....silly and rather judgemental I think

And I personally know a submissive man/Dominant woman couple that always "goes dutch"....so there is no direct correlation to dominance or submission and financial responsibily, in my experience....simply preference.

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Some people like us. Some people don't... Variety is the Spice of life.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Going dutch - 12/5/2007 11:48:10 PM

Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

Whoa...ooook. Hehe, perhaps we need to take a deep breathe....

...inhale......hold it......exhale....

And stop freaking out. It is still only a message board. We all take a chance that no one is gonna give a "tick turd" about what we say here. So if the whole thread turns out to be a hoax, voice your disapproval and move on. While flaming is inevitable, at least maintain some level of elegance and class when attacking someone. Geez.

(in reply to longtimemuse)

RE: Going dutch - 12/6/2007 5:00:50 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kails

ok .... more info.

This was the second time Id seen this Dom. We'd previously been to a pub, Id been given money that didnt quite total the drinks bill so I added to it for my own drink.

Id happily fed him out of my cupboard and did not keep a 'tab' as suggested by some. It was just something I realised later, after I was expected to pay my own way.

I had told the Dom in general conversation (before he arrived) that I was broke.

No-one left a tip, we are in Australia ... we dont do tips generally. Staff are paid reasonable wages.

I watched the man go for bills then change his mind and go for almost the exact money. I couldnt believe it.

As far as being unsubbly (new word) it was my view .... that if I was required to be an independent self sufficient woman. I could do whatever I wanted.

In future ... I will always make sure I know who is paying when I am ordered to go out.

There are other financial situations concerned here that peeved me ... but not enough and certainly not enough to bring up here.

The man was Cheap .. he wanted his sub and his independent modern woman. When it suited him. It was nothing about obedience, control, testing... it was about keeping money in his pocket .

Thanx for all your replies. Im surprised at how heated this got.

Despite all this, you gave him *complete control* and that came with a price. It seems a little premature to have given this type of control by only the second time of seeing him, when it's clear you didn't know him, his habits and character very well.

I did not have a choice about going to a pub, i give full control over to the Dom. But damned if Im gonna go dutch when we go out. Especially considering control is expected and happily given at all times, no matter where we are.

This is a contradiction....and this is YOU insisting on being an *independant woman*. If you're *damned if you are going to go dutch* then you're asserting your independance and dictating what you will or won't accept. There's nothing wrong with that but it's a good idea to be singing from the same song sheet.

He probably is all you say he is but you chose him. He might well want his sub and eat it, but it looks like you wanted your dom and eat it too.

I'm missing where D/s comes into any of this as it looks like you both are pulling it out of the hat at random, when it suits.

agirl

(in reply to kails)

RE: Going dutch - 12/6/2007 5:12:22 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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Gee, "girl" leaves thread for one day after getting spanked by mods and peeks in to see what is going on and wham OP came back and did not tell the whole story...tsk tsk tsk.

Still changed nothing about my opinion or subsequent heated debate on true subs and all that jazz.

And to think I got some of my best material yanked for this.

(in reply to agirl)

RE: Going dutch - 12/6/2007 7:29:49 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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using fast reply....

It seems like alot of immature drama to me. Simply rediculous.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sexyred1)

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