Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but there is a way to be proactive in the community.

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but there is a way to be proactive in the community.

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Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but the... - 12/10/2007 11:28:46 AM

Posts: 53
Joined: 8/28/2004
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I understand the concept of slander, but I also have met victims of predators. I have read your rules and to my understanding there is nothing keeping me from keeping a bad list of my own and providing it to those who request such information from my own area and experience. I am active in my community here, and beleive it is up to all of us to try to police and protect ourselves.

If you prefer not to get involved in domestic disputes, fine. But please, do not stop those who are new in the communities from getting needed background information. There are bad eggs. Not just in this lifestyle but everywhere. If you need to do a background check on a Dom or Domme, it is inadvisable to wait until after you are tied spread eagled and being whipped to within an inch of your life without regard to your safety. I suggest going to local munches, asking about others that you are interested in. Having safe calls set up and always doing your best to be careful. If this gets me in hot water with the Collarme administrators, so be it. I will continue to do my best to inform and educate. I have seen too many blindly go into this with trusting souls, just to come out beaten and battered.

Since most bdsm D/s operates outside of the conventional jurisdiction in regard to acceptability, you cannot simply waltz down to the local Police Department and do a background check on a potential partner.

I am careful, not cynical. Good Doms and Dommes exist... and by knowing yourself and your own needs/desires you can find a match. But for gosh sakes, please don't leap blindly into bed and expect Nirvana each and every time. Every sub/slave has a God given gift of judgement. Use your brain before you kneel and you will appreciate your Dominant all the more.

Best wishes-
Masters girl-joy

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:30:56 AM

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I am an adult. What's more, I am mature, responsible to a degree, able to think coherently and with intelligence.

Why the fuck would I need others to tell me I should or should not stay away from another person?

Sounds pretty immature and child like to me.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:31:26 AM

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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Thank you for providing safety police service!
What will you do when someone reports you as a predator or other-wise dangerous person? Can we add you to the list as well?
See the problem?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:31:37 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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And who is to say you are not a predator? .seriously.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:33:48 AM

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I am just gonna compile a list of people I don't like.and then make shit up about them. Feel free to contact me..:)

Jeff

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:34:50 AM

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If I ain't at the top of the nasty motherfuckers on collarme list, you can better believe you are a fucking fake and a wanker.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:35:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I am just gonna compile a list of people I don't like.and then make shit up about them. Feel free to contact me..:)

Jeff

You perv you

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:35:49 AM

Posts: 284
Joined: 11/6/2007
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Who polices the police and controls the controllers? I am personally not in favor of a vigilante enforcer practice - if people just practice an ounce of common sense, most anything can be averted.

I commend CM/CC on their mostly hands-off approaches to the boards and profiles.

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The opinions expressed in my posts are strictly mine and do not seek to imply that my personal beliefs are representative of those of ANY other individual(s). Should these opinions hurt your little feelers, you are free and welcome to stop reading them.

(in reply to RCdc)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:36:33 AM

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Joined: 8/28/2004
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The people I refer to are the ones who have left scars on others, endangered life and showed a blatant disregard for the safety of others. If you were new, would you truly want to think that someone knew what a person like this was capable of and knowingly chose to keep it from you?

Could someone be so callous as to not care about another's safety when a known predator is amoung them???

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:38:40 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominicsJoy

The people I refer to are the ones who have left scars on others, endangered life and showed a blatant disregard for the safety of others. If you were new, would you truly want to think that someone knew what a person like this was capable of and knowingly chose to keep it from you?

Could someone be so callous as to not care about another's safety when a known predator is amoung them???

What a crock.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:39:50 AM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

The people I refer to are the ones who have left scars on others, endangered life and showed a blatant disregard for the safety of others. If you were new, would you truly want to think that someone knew what a person like this was capable of and knowingly chose to keep it from you?

Could someone be so callous as to not care about another's safety when a known predator is amoung them???

Again, how do we know they are a predator? What if the slave LOVED getting all those marks and things at the time and then later just wanted to get revenge on him because he didn't give her enough orgasms?

How do we know anything you say is true and verifiable?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:39:53 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Again. .seriously. Who can 'prove' to me you aren't a predator?
Are you going to give me all your good references and forsake the bad?
I can surmise, you would.

Anyone who claims to be warning anyone anyone about someone makes me wonder their motives. Why would anyone not allow someone to grow on their own terms?

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:40:08 AM

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Add's Mist to the list...right under Ron..:)

Keeper of the One True List

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:40:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominicsJoy

The people I refer to are the ones who have left scars on others, endangered life and showed a blatant disregard for the safety of others. If you were new, would you truly want to think that someone knew what a person like this was capable of and knowingly chose to keep it from you?

Could someone be so callous as to not care about another's safety when a known predator is amoung them???

Wouldn't these people have to register as sex offenders anyway? Or is this an administrated by hearsay thingie?
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to DominicsJoy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:41:48 AM

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Joined: 2/8/2005
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It takes two to fuck up, the vast majority of the time. If you aren't taking your own safety into your own hands you should not be playing this game.

(in reply to Jeffff)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:42:58 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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We already have groups that are out there manning the perimeter in any case...they can be found here:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_697669/mpage_12/key_unsuck/tm.htm#702728

Curtis Sliwa

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:43:35 AM

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Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Keeper of the One True List

Are you also Keeper of the One Twue Way?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:43:45 AM

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Yes, there are bad seeds that should be put out of business.....but that , for many of the reasons stated above, will not be happening.

As IrishMist pointed out so well, WE are ALL adults and have been taught the safety rules of social interaction since we could toddle. It is a freaking shame that there has to be victims. I seriously hate it. About all we can do is to keep saying what *should* be done and hope that they will remember anything when they get sub frenzy.

On the other hand, I have seen many subs that seem to thrive as a victim and I think they might be putting themselves foolishly in jeopardy, so they get the attention that they want.

I am open for practical suggestions. Any ideas?

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

(in reply to IrishMist)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:46:26 AM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I am open for practical suggestions. Any ideas?

Trust your gut feeling.
Take time to get to know the other person
Trust your judgement or stay home.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

RE: Why the Administrators cannot allow blacklists, but... - 12/10/2007 11:46:38 AM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Add's Mist to the list...right under Ron..:)

Keeper of the One True List

wooooooooooooohooooooooo

Hot dayum....

I made the list...I made the list...I made the list

Oh wait a sec.

Which list ? The perv list? Or the fake and untwue list?

Oh well, it don't matter

I am so excited

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Jeffff)

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