"Forced" Consent

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

"Forced" Consent

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> "Forced" Consent

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

"Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 10:11:39 AM

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

What are your thoughts on it? I will post my thoughts on it in a little while. Thanks in advance!

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 10:16:12 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

As a dynamic, it's a contradiction in terms. As a scene or role play, it can be quite enjoyable.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 10:18:59 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Take down play? Play kidnapping? Play sexual assault? Sure. But this is why safewords came about, so if you're shouting stop, stop while he's pinning you down and tickling you, he will know when you really do need to stop.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Rover)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 10:36:11 AM

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

What are your thoughts on it? I will post my thoughts on it in a little while. Thanks in advance!

The very phrase "forced consent" is an oxymoron.

Anything that was truly "forced" would be a criminal act, abuse, and IMHO not a legitimate part of WIITWD.

Consent under duress is NOT valid consent. That's why many "confessions" in criminal cases are thrown out of court.

Let's face it: "forced" anything is usually a mutually agreed upon fantasy to add flavor to some act the principals want to perform.

Let's say, as an example, that I have a Hard Limit ruling out "Forced Bi". The Domina presents me with a real cock to suck. If I cry "no, no, please Mistress not that!", beg for mercy, and whimper, that may add excitement to the adventure for all concerned. Perhaps she beats my ass to "force" my consent, or grabs my hair and pushes my head to the target. However, if I don't call out my safe word or use my safe signal, exactly how much of that is "forced consent"?

_____________________________

Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=334308
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=335720
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336666
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=337911

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 10:57:01 AM

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

That is the eternal question playing safe sane and consensual yet give the slave that rightless hepless piece of property, whipped into obediance, feeling? To make someone thrilled scared frightened and nervous quivering with what could happen to them, still make then feel safe? How I handle it is the collar if she puts it on all power flows to me, when it comes off we are more or less equalateral. But what greater pleasure is there? then to force by words or deeds to force anothers surender, or for the surrenderee to do so. Weither they must be broken always resist the pain the urge to cry out, or a pleaser pressing to please even more.

_____________________________

what does not kill me, makes me stronger!

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 11:06:58 AM

Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

I guess it depends on th econtext how I feel about it. Are we talking about a scene? Where someone has alreayd agreed to be "forced"..if thats part of the fun, then Im all for it, it can be rather hot. But I dont know if Id really use that term. Its not really forced. It'd be more like...play rape, or kidnapping, or whatever...where its sometimes fun to struggle and put up some resistance....kinda like the borg.....resistance isnt futile, resistance is half the fun!

ok, anyway. If you are talking about actual "forced" consent, its still not consent. its still illegal, I dont care if the girl did beg you to fuck her. If you held a gun to her head and told her youd kill her if she didnt beg you to fuck her, its still rape.

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to fusion)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 11:23:55 AM

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

What are your thoughts on it? I will post my thoughts on it in a little while. Thanks in advance!

I know what I am going to say is going to cause everyone to get out their legal books and dictionaries so that they can start quoting how wrong and illegal this is; but, right now…it really does not matter.

My relationship with my husband; the M/s, D/s, BDSM…whatever label you wish to use so that you can understand….was not fully one of consent. The only consent that was present was in the fact that I entered the relationship knowing full well that I was going to be forced to do things that I did not want to do. That is where my consent started and ended. Everything past that had nothing to do with me…meaning that I had no say what-so-ever…and everything to do with him. There were two sides in our relationship…the side where I absolutely refused and he then forced physically; and the side where I refused and was shown the door. Only once did I ever walk out the door; and it was within the first year of our relationship. I went back less than two weeks later. I was never given a choice again.

Now, I am not saying that forcing is the way to go; on the contrary. I have said before and I will say again…if anyone asked my advice about this kind of relationship; I would tell them to run and run very fast. However, for me; it worked. What’s more, it was what I needed. Not wanted, but needed.

So, with that said; I see nothing wrong, personally with being forced; but it is not something that I would recommend to anyone else.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 11:24:41 AM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I enjoy it. But then again, I consent to be forced. It is a matter of what is acceptable to you, and what flips your switches. It is not for everyone.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 11:36:03 AM

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

I’ll be the odd one, this is just in my opinion and I know lots of people feel differently. But I can’t get passed the I’m forcing someone to do something, which to me is against their will and it just leaves me personally feeling icky inside. I’ve talked to a lot (fine some subs) where this is one of their favorite things but I can’t get over the icky feeling I get.

I do get the why it’s fun and hot and everything, but it just doesn’t work for me.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 11:39:22 AM

Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I enjoy it. But then again, I consent to be forced. It is a matter of what is acceptable to you, and what flips your switches. It is not for everyone.
Kyst

Well put. I'm the same way. However, I have to be able to trust that the person I serve will not damage me. So, if the trust, sanity, and familiarity are there, then I am all for it.

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 12:04:52 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I enjoy it. But then again, I consent to be forced. It is a matter of what is acceptable to you, and what flips your switches. It is not for everyone.
Kyst

Well put. I'm the same way. However, I have to be able to trust that the person I serve will not damage me. So, if the trust, sanity, and familiarity are there, then I am all for it.

Agreed however I found difficulty recently when my master agreed to let another master use me. But the other Master deliberately forced me into breaking my other masters rules. This then led to a switch fight because I felt he had disrespected my master. I then struggled all night he would not play with me I was not allowed to come yet woke up on ym belly being taken. Then when he was pulling my hair he twisted it round and it felt an unatural - possibly fatal pain in my neck said stop as in properly stop and he continued and increased pressure which could have ultimately led to serious damage. I am young and finiding that frced s
tuff works very well fo rme but at the same time i feel in this occasion that I was in affect raped and forced into consenting with force such as strangling and pain in my nipples and other areas. I unltimately DID NOT WISH to disobey my masters orders but was forced to with out consenting to being forced if that makes sense?

(in reply to sexyone4you)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 12:37:11 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

to kinkiness - i felt angry and sad reading your post. That situation is one which any Master who cherished his submissive or slave (IMHO) would never have put her. For me, BDSM is healing, spiritual, exhilirating, and intense.

For one to be "forced" to submit to non-consensual rape IS RAPE. i believe that the submissive or slave (and the Dominant) need to have the ability to stop a scene whenever he / she needs to, ESPECIALLY when scening with a new partner. This is important for physical, emotional, and mental health.

I call into question your "Master's" ability to care for his you with integrity and honor. For me BDSM should not traumatize the participants - and Yes, i do believe that consensual rape/torture is something that actually can be a healing, growth-affirming experience (with the right participants..at the right time..for the right reason). You obviously did not experience that interaction in this way, and if you haven't already, i would suggest you let your "Master" know your thoughts and feelings about being used by the other "Dominant."

_____________________________

~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to kinkiness)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 12:38:59 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I enjoy it. But then again, I consent to be forced. It is a matter of what is acceptable to you, and what flips your switches. It is not for everyone.
Kyst

Seems to me...if you gave consent....it's not being forced....

_____________________________

~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 12:47:58 PM

Posts: 1363
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline

I think thats how I see it to. I mean, I know there are times I do things in my relationship I dont really want to do. things I wouldnt choose to do on my own. But I do them. I gave my consent when I entered the relationship. Im not technically "forced". I could walk out the door if I really wanted to. Sometimes he, well..."forces" me to do stuff cause well..it turns me on. but, its not really...forced. to me, forced is well.....do it or die. or suffer extreame unwanted pain or other abuse. forced consent would be things like....asking someone if they want to do something, then telling them they either have to say yes or you'll kill them or break their legs or something.

_____________________________

Don't expect anything of me and I promise I'll never disappoint you.

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. --Nietzsche"

(in reply to agoodgirl4Daddy)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 12:51:58 PM

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

*perhaps i've gone to the other side.....or am too much of a literalist* In my opinion, and in my relationship, i don't really think i can be "forced" to consent to anything....Because at the start of the relationship i gave my consent...i consented to anything and everything as He sees fit...Like ghita said, if i don't like it or don't agree i know where the door is....But...........
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to ghitaPVH)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 12:55:10 PM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

seems like an oxymoron doesnt it? And yet it happens.
The key is (like sexyone says) knowing your partner. I would rip the head off anyone who tried to force me.. unless I trust them. Then it doesnt matter if I want it or not, if I trust them, they can make me, and there is no bad feeling about it.
But there are limits for me. Sharing, bi, ect.. the deal is finished and that force stuff is not going to happen.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: agoodgirl4Daddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I enjoy it. But then again, I consent to be forced. It is a matter of what is acceptable to you, and what flips your switches. It is not for everyone.
Kyst

Seems to me...if you gave consent....it's not being forced....

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to agoodgirl4Daddy)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 1:04:52 PM

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

I have a somewhat unique view on this. I will not give consent to have sex, period. I am a virgin and intend to stay that way until marriage for multiple reasons(if you are curious none are religious as I am athiest). However I fully believe that the woman who will want to marry me will forcibly take that from me as a sign she would like to spend the rest of her life with me, as she knows the significance of said act. It is a way to both prove authority and to show that I am hers completely. Granted on the other side of the coin I would never submit to someone who I did not care for a great deal as I feel this type of relationship only makes the connection between two individuals stronger.

I am sure I will be flamed as being naive or that it is wishful thinking on my part. I can only say that Aerith is my one and only goddess, if she were to play with my heart or abuse me in some way...I would cease to exist as a person so it wouldn't really matter anyway what had been done to me.

_____________________________

Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to Kalista07)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 1:13:02 PM

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

Within a well-articulated dynamic, my articulation is "mmmmmmmmmmmm..."

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 1:46:46 PM

abytchgoddess4u

Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

"Forced" is one of those words that I find highly misused and raises my hackles when I hear it as such.

Once consent is given, it's given.

Unfortunately; this seems to give rise to abusive and illegal behaviour on the part of some truly evil people...as in kinkiness' case. In Irish's, it worked well.

Clear communication is key, as is respect on the part of both parties. I recommend having paperwork backup. But, I almost never play into the 'forced' aspect, b/c it feels fake and icky...as Sun said.

If I have a sub sucking some other guy off, I want it to be b/c I told him to do so and he wants to please me...not b/c I'm holding his head on it.

_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to LadyLynx)

RE: "Forced" Consent - 12/16/2007 1:50:25 PM

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abytchgoddess4u

Once consent is given, it's given.

Maybe I'm reading this comment wrong...but you don't believe consent can be revoked?

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> "Forced" Consent

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.070