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Self esteem - 12/31/2007 1:53:41 PM   
ligar59


Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		During the course of a relationship, a Master may find that their slave/sub may has lost some of their confidence and self esteem. At this point, I would assume that the Master/Mistress would do their best to assist the sub/slave in raising their confidence level and self esteem.
Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship
Would you...
1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not
2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not???

< Message edited by ligar59 -- 12/31/2007 2:10:24 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Self esteen - 12/31/2007 1:57:50 PM   
meticulousgirl


Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline 		Itall depends on the scenereo and how bad each particular person in question is. 

Some Doms prefer to have a doormat, with low self esteem so they can kick them around and the slave thinks that "that is just how it's suppose to be".   Other Doms do their best to try to get to the root of whatever the problem may be at the root of the sub / slave's emotions that causes them to be so down on themselves.

Not all of us are analysts even though many of us try to be.  Like i said it just depends on the scenereo and not every case is the same.

~meticulous~

(in reply to ligar59)
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RE: Self esteen - 12/31/2007 2:01:01 PM   
ligar59


Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		And yes, I do know about the typo's, just couldn't find out how to fix them

< Message edited by ligar59 -- 12/31/2007 2:02:06 PM >

(in reply to ligar59)
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RE: Self esteen - 12/31/2007 2:02:50 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		enit yur postt, it was on the top rigth of the post isselve.

Ron 

eddited for splling errors. 

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 12/31/2007 2:03:21 PM >

(in reply to ligar59)
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RE: Self esteen - 12/31/2007 2:03:28 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

And yes, I do know about the typo's, just couldn't find hout how to fix them

For a while (an hour maybe?) after you post, an EDIT button will appear next to the others on the right side atop your message. Being a lousy typist myself, I resort to it often.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Self esteen - 12/31/2007 2:07:55 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteen issues before going into the relationship
Would you...
1-Come in on your white horse and say the day or?... why or why not
2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Whay or why not???


wow, I would hope that if a Dom takes on such a person that they do as they promised and not do a sorry, half-ass job of aiding that person and just gives up.  If the dom knows going into it that it will be a long haul then why should he demand escape so easily. Was his promise then revoked because the submissive still could not be 'fixed'?

I would call that Dominant a whimpy coward who was in it for the cheap thrills and sex. If so, he should have specified that from the get-go.  The sub might be worse off after the fact than before this guy showed up.   

(in reply to ligar59)
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RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 2:08:06 PM   
ligar59


Posts: 55
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		thanks, found it

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 2:10:42 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I am too fucking lazy to do it, so I got alotta typing errors in my shit, but nobody pays attention to what I say anyway so no harm done.

I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 2:17:30 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		he found the letter M?

yay

tomorrow's lecture: use of underscores, commas and numbers.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 2:19:06 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I am too fucking lazy to do it, so I got alotta typing errors in my shit, but nobody pays attention to what I say anyway so no harm done.

I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating.

Ron 


Ha!  Casper's typing is invisible!

girly

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 3:04:29 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating.


Sweetie, it's CASPER, not Caspar.  The ghostly dude realllly needs to be able to spell his own name, oui?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 3:30:29 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship
Would you...
1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not
2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not???


Neither.  If I take a woman as a slave, however, I make it a point to give praise and punishment in proper measure, with a goal towards always raising her self-esteem, regardless of where it lies overall.


_____________________________



(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 3:33:20 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59

During the course of a relationship, a Master may find that their slave/sub may has lost some of their confidence and self esteem. At this point, I would assume that the Master/Mistress would do their best to assist the sub/slave in raising their confidence level and self esteem.
Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship
Would you...
1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not
2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not???


No white horse and shining armor, just a tin hat and a mule. But I did everything I could to raise my former sub's self-esteem. She had issues about being being overweight and being naked in front of me. I continually told her how lovely she looked.

Know why? I meant it!

Les (Purveyor of Fine New Years Kink)



_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 3:36:01 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings ligar,

he does neither. he doesn't coddle me, he doesn't go find someone else who's more confident. he just supports me in my efforts to be a whole person, and teaches me that it's my own damn responsibility. ;)

annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 3:36:04 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating.


Sweetie, it's CASPER, not Caspar.  The ghostly dude realllly needs to be able to spell his own name, oui?

Cali



Yeah. "Caspar" was one of the Three Wise Men. Or was it the Three Stooges? Maybe the Three Amigos. Hell, I know his name from somewhere!

Les (Purveyor of Fine New Years Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 3:42:19 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I am too fucking lazy to do it, so I got alotta typing errors in my shit, but nobody pays attention to what I say anyway so no harm done.

I am just Caspar the Friendly Ghost out here, doing a little harmless dominating.

Ron 


i pay attention to what you say - you are just so all over the place on these forums, i can't keep up with you! LOL!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 4:28:00 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		There are "white horse" Doms, sure. The only problem is that the sub has to undertake the work - it's not something anyone can magically "fix". If the sub isn't willing to do her (lion's) share of healing then self-esteem will always be an issue.

A Dom worth his salt (and maturity), if he is into "fixing" subs, will make her strong enough to withstand being without him. If she has self-esteem only when she is with him or under his influence, and if she isn't strong enough to be without him, then the issue is still there brewing under the surface.

If he doesn't make her that strong, and if it makes him feel better to think he's really fixed her, but if she's only got self-esteem when she's under his influence, no foul I guess; but it's doing a grave disservice to the person he agreed to guide.

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 4:38:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ligar59
During the course of a relationship, a Master may find that their slave/sub may has lost some of their confidence and self esteem. At this point, I would assume that the Master/Mistress would do their best to assist the sub/slave in raising their confidence level and self esteem.
Now suppose the Master/Mistress knew the individual had low confidence/self esteem issues before going into the relationship
Would you...
1-Come in on your white horse and save the day or?... why or why not
2- Pass them by for someone who has it more together?.... Why or why not???

Neither, saving someone never actually works and I don't just pass someone by because of flaws.  It really depends on how/how much they are fucked up and how well we find ourselves to be compatible.  In good relationships I find everyone helps "save" eachother on a regular basis- Ms is irrelevant.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ligar59)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Self esteem - 12/31/2007 6:37:57 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		I agree you cant save anyone, you can support them in all ways mentioned above but they have to do it themselves, give them things that they do well, walk on egg shells so you dont hurt their feelings but its still up to them, Im going to have to say if their really broken best bet is to only involve yourself to the point of getting them help otherwise you may just end up with a broken heart wondering what you could have done different and end up needing help yourself, that maybe harsh but... 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Self esteem - 1/1/2008 5:59:44 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

if you are a real bad typist as I am, you might preview and proofread a little before you post.......me???? I got alotta typing errors in my shit ...
 


i pay attention to what you say - you are just so all over the place on these forums, i can't keep up with you! LOL!


I say totally pay attention. Anyone who shits typing errors is gonna be worth watching, in my book.

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 20
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