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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 8:54:42 AM

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Language skills are social skills. So evidence of good grammer and good language abilities generally in a posting can go some way to persuading the reader you are socially articulate.

Q) Why do Dommes judge people based on grammer?
A) Well, what else in a posting is there to help folks assess the poster, besides what they write and how they write it? You can't see seem, smell, or listen to them.

If Dommes seek good social skills it follows they likely look for evidence of good language skills.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 8:57:19 AM

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Perhaps there is some correlation between right brain/left brain hard wiring in Dommes that is actually the reason for our interest in, and passion for, great communication skills. I'm certain that an English professor could pick My grammar apart at any time....however, I don't let that stop Me from reading, writing and improving my communication skills whenever I have the opportunity to do so.

Whatever the reason for a Domme's preference for a well read, articulate sub, it is important to note that great communication skills can be learned, whether those skills are spoken, written or presented by way of public forum or venue.

The most important factor in great communication is the time you spend practicing those skills.

It's important to Me to be able to discuss My favorite authors, new tomes, news articles, political events, social mores and a great deal more with My sub.

In order to meet My personal, professional, social and interpersonal needs he has to be well educated enough and well read enough to carry his end of the conversation, (or his end of the email volley) and he has to carry it well enough to hold My interest long term.

A sub interested in these topics will already be motivated to read a great deal and to write well; in other words, he'll already have the communication skills necessary to succeed in life. I won't have to motivate him to cultivate and/or practice those skills.

Right brain vs left brain dominance issues keeps Me aware of the potential for difficulty spelling, difficulty with grammar, difficulty with syntax. If a sub shares many mutual interests and is able to clearly communicate his position on a topic, I won't discredit him for an inability to spell every word correctly. Chances are he is the same sub who will be able to mentally calculate numbers and figures at lightning speed, a gift I also require and admire in a man.

I'd rather have a sub who is great with numbers and measurements, one who makes a few boo boos here and there when he spells a word, than a sub who can't problem solve. At the same time he has to be interested enough in current events to read, watch, listen and discuss issues that require some reading and research on his own.

A sub who chronically uses poor grammar, who has a limited vocabulary, who doesn't care about current events or the impact of his own life on our planet or on those around him is simply never going to measure up to My standards. Why waste My time on a 'no brainer'?

Invest your free time in learning how to strengthen communication skills and you'll find that success in all aspects of life will follow.

TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 8/24/2008 9:09:03 AM >

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 9:30:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

Perhaps there is some correlation between right brain/left brain hard wiring in Dommes that is actually the reason for our interest in, and passion for, great communication skills. I'm certain that an English professor could pick My grammar apart at any time....however, I don't let that stop Me from reading, writing and improving my communication skills whenever I have the opportunity to do so.

I don't think being a Domme or sub has anything to do with it. The situation seems to be present on both sides of the coin. In fact there is a thread in the ask a sub section that asks the same question.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2088674/tm.htm

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 11:33:33 AM

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I, personally, SUCK at spelling. Normally Im only off by one or two letters, so you get what I am trying to say. I agree, this isnt a Harvard entrance exam, its just plain ol conversation. As for Jen's posts, it sounds like that person doesnt use english as his/her primary language. A language barrier is not lack of intelligence. Chat speak on a chat website isnt really lack of intelligence either. This isnt a formal paper writing contest, its a personals website for people with like minded intrests. If you get someone who obviously speaks english and just chooses to write badly, well thats different. Something I would write is:

Hey there! My name is Briena, and I happened upon your profile. I liked what I saw, and noticed that you were looking for many of the same things as I, so I thought I would say hello. Hope to hear back from you.

Whereas someone with poor grammar or an idiot would write

Hey Gurl! Waz up? I jus thought Id sey whud up. Liked yur stuff so shout back K

I can understand the annoyance with something like that, but a few missed commas and misspelled words doesnt mean that the person is ignorant or illiterate. A person with bad spelling doesnt automaticly mean that they have had little or no schooling either. Im awesome with literature, politics, and history, but I suck at math and spelling. Does that make me illiterate? I think not.

(in reply to VeryCurious07)

RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 12:09:07 PM

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I'm a grammar Nazi. Always have been, always will be. One of my odd little quirks is that I will go through all of my books and edit with a red pen all of the grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. You'd be surprised how many get through the editorial process at the publishers' house. Books with more errors make me feel like I'm reading some kind of discount trashy novel regardless of how acclaimed it may be.

The same goes with people. Intentionally using bad grammar is a one-way ticket to freaking me the Hell out. Of course I understand that some out there can't help it and really do try, but for whatever reason have issues with spelling and grammar... that's the hardest thing to overcome for me. I have a friend who's dyslexic and ADHD, and her letters/IM conversations to me are just painful to read, but I love her dearly so I kind of grit my teeth and go through it. I know she tries as best as she can and she even apologizes to me for it.

But for me it's a compulsion that if I see something wrong with the way something is written, I have to fix it. I have to. Otherwise it's almost crippling the way my mind fixates on it even when I've turned the page.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 3:58:02 PM

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comparing a babelfish translation to a professional translation is rather like comparing proverbial apples to oranges......

oy vey....

TM

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 4:03:07 PM

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I disagree.

I do not read very many posts from Dommes to wit: "cum hear boy n brang me muh stuff outa tha bedroom cuz I'm fixin to whup yo ass'....

.....at the other end of the spectrum my email inbox is replete with the vain petitions of the pornography addicted sub working class with context and content akin to the following: 'geeze ma'am er yur ladyship or wtf u kall yerself I gotta really stiff dick here n I wont you t' jest beat the shit outa me till i kum n don't that make u so hot????????'

Just my observation.

TM

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 4:12:55 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: falccon

Grammar=Intelligence

Not always. I ask myself whether the person I'm talking to is communicating well or not, not whether they have their grammar and spelling correct. Consider also whether the person is using their first language or not.

(in reply to falccon)

RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/24/2008 8:39:16 PM

slaveinstockings

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I believe that seeing good grammar in someone's post also shows they took the time to think about what they posted and not just write the first things they though.

(in reply to Paulnz)

RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 4:33:15 AM

TheLadyConstance

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If I suspect that the author is used to writing in another language, I will be more lenient when I judge their text. Otherwise, I expect at least basic spelling and grammar ability. If the message writer cannot employ the use of capital letters and basic punctuation, I pass them by.
I don't necessarily equate poor writing skills with lack of intelligence, but I do equate it with personal work ethic. If a writer wants to make a good impression on a potential partner, I would hope they would put forth a little effort. If I were hiring an employee at a place of business and got a resume and cover letter written in the style of most of the messages I've gotten here, I would immediately throw them in the trash.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect when it comes to writing, but at least I try.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 5:58:20 AM

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Normally I avoid threads like these for several reasons. I am not a nitpicky bitch and my point of view on stuff like this would start a battle that just isn't worth it.

BUT, I have to laugh this morning.... I bet I've glanced at half a dozen thread titles that have really obvious spelling errors and have thought "What kind of stupid putz created THAT thread?!?" and never bothered to even check it out.

I guess it does matter to me to a degree....

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 6:57:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyConstance

I don't necessarily equate poor writing skills with lack of intelligence, but I do equate it with personal work ethic. If a writer wants to make a good impression on a potential partner, I would hope they would put forth a little effort.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect when it comes to writing, but at least I try.

A rule of thumb I think is that, if it obviously wasn't proof-read it was lazily written by a lazy writer. Perhaps it isn't so much a case of poor writing, but lazy writing?

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 7:08:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mmmm I do not spell very good and have a lot of run on sentences. But I do not have to go begging for subs like a lot of english majors on here do.

And yet, you don't have one of your own, nor can I recall you ever having one during your tenure here. Yeah, things seem to be working out very well for you.

quote:

Snickers at the bunch of you.

"He who laughs last, probably didn't get the joke."

~stef

Are you tellling us that you have been watching him for 3 years to see if he has found a sub? How often do you check? Monthly? Weekly? Daily?

Ya know, that's just a tad bit scary.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 7:17:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

I disagree.

I do not read very many posts from Dommes to wit: "cum hear boy n brang me muh stuff outa tha bedroom cuz I'm fixin to whup yo ass'....

.....at the other end of the spectrum my email inbox is replete with the vain petitions of the pornography addicted sub working class with context and content akin to the following: 'geeze ma'am er yur ladyship or wtf u kall yerself I gotta really stiff dick here n I wont you t' jest beat the shit outa me till i kum n don't that make u so hot????????'

Just my observation.

TM

Well considering your a female dominant, I wouldn't expect you to get a lot of people calling you boy or ordering you around. Trust me, there is just as much ignorance coming from the top half of the coin.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 9:37:06 AM

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Mmmm guess that I was born a grammaticaly incorrect person. Anyone who has read my messages to them can tell you Im a babbling idiot. There is an arrest warrant out for me from the grammar police on here. As you can see none of that has detered me because Im still here.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 11:20:13 AM

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I actually had a woman from here some years back turn me away because of "bad grammar". The worst part was that it wasn't actually incorrect; it was just really advanced. I mean, I'm a professional writer, and I have numerous degrees. I'm not saying that to brag, but somewhere down the line, a little advanced grammar actually rubbed off. She turned me away with a statement indicating that she was seeking someone of "education". Rather than argue with her, I went on with my life and my obviously challenged grammar and vocabulary. Woe is I.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 11:33:03 AM

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Thats kinda funny... I would have corrected her ignorance though, then I would have moved on. But I am a bitch like that... :D

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 4:00:02 PM

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I poofread everything I write before sending, so no errors can get through!

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 7:26:09 PM

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Honest typos are ok - although I do tend to tease people if they are particularly funny typos. However, someone who has a typo with every other word ... that's just freakin lazy. Grammar, I'm not so picky about, but at least an attempt at decent spelling is required or I can't read it.

For me, netspeak and people who typo more than they get right ... it's like trying to read chinese.

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RE: Why Dommes judge people based on grammar? - 8/25/2008 9:57:47 PM

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My favorite one is when Intelligence/grammar is mentioned constantly in the profile, yet there is pair of breasts about to crush my poor screen. Yes, you are looking for intelligence while portraying pure elegance dear.

I have also noticed that while many do look for intelligent email, they quickly get very confused when you provide them one. If it is in quotation marks that simply means no i didnt come up with this i am quoting someone. And if i dont put the author of those words, it is simply because i believe every intelligent and educated person know whose quote that is. Why are you asking for intelligent letter when you dont know what stream of consciousness is.

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