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RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 2:19:41 AM

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherRose

Just a rant here...

Am I the only one experiencing frustration with the male subs here? It seems like pulling teeth just to get some decent information and coversation out of them. The only thing they ever want to say is "whatever you want to do". *gag*

I ask for more detail, they balk.

Give me some context damn it!!

I change my profile so I don't come off as a total Bitch, but boy is it coming out with all the pussy footing I am getting with these boys!

Grrrrrr.....

LeatherRose

My suggestion to you would be to use the telephone, instead of the pager or trading messages back and forth. The telephone is a much better and more effective medium for communication, especially when trying to assess compatibility.

- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to LeatherRose)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 2:49:28 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline

Phones are good, Mainly because it cuts down on "edit time"

One of my favorites ways to let someone know that they better start communicating better is to tell them that "These are tits, not crystal balls" and as soon as I get a chance in real time I have a sub strip and then hold a penny against the wall with their nose until he's ready to open up.

Maybe I'm just not right.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 4:35:35 AM

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline

For me, I sometimes feel like I'm talking too much, so I sort of clam up instead. It can be pretty hard to find a balance in a conversation because at one point you are trying to get her interested. At another point, you are trying extremely hard to do anything to avoid causing her to think that you're some undesirable. It can be really hard to make a balance there.

When you don't have a lot of choices in potential partners (we obviously outnumber you), we realize that any one thing can cause you to cut communication immediately. It's like being on a date with a woman you've admired for years and noticing that every other guy that has admired her is sitting at tables next to you, just waiting for you to screw up. If I ask, "what are you into?" I'm probably going to get an honest reply, if she is aware of what she's into. And there's rarely a problem. If she asks, "what are you into?" chances are pretty good that WHATEVER I respond with is going to serve to make or break the relationship.

That can be a lot of pressure for a lot of guys. Or girls, depending on what demographic we're talking about here.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 4:43:11 AM

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

I dont think u speak to the right ones...

(in reply to LeatherRose)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 5:38:08 AM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Sooo I'm gonna step out on a limb here as a male sub...
I havn't been around these forums for very long, but I have noticed this topic all over the place, I wonder how many of the subs out there actually take or have taken the time to read them. Anyways,

Glad you noticed, but I think most are too busy sending out emails, They rarely read what's written in the forums. Nearly ever email I receive on this and other sites are the garden variety, "I'll do anything, I'll fulfill your every whim, yada, yada, yada. Never met me, but already they want to drink my "nectur juices".

However, I do have to admit, the more I read the thought from some of the subs/slaves, that contribute on the forums, I am trying to be a little more understanding of some of the ones that are confused about how to approach and interact in the beginning. If only more would read through the Mistress' thread section. I think I will add a message saying reading the threads are required before first contact. Oh right, most don't even read through the profile, since they still email the same slobbering messages I've requested that they not. GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 8/25/2005 5:42:34 AM >

(in reply to Taik)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 7:27:52 AM

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMichelle
Phones are good, Mainly because it cuts down on "edit time"

One of my favorites ways to let someone know that they better start communicating better is to tell them that "These are tits, not crystal balls" and as soon as I get a chance in real time I have a sub strip and then hold a penny against the wall with their nose until he's ready to open up.

What awesome idea... Thanks for sharing MadameMichelle.

M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MadamMichelle)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 7:32:32 AM

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMichelle

Phones are good, Mainly because it cuts down on "edit time"

One of my favorites ways to let someone know that they better start communicating better is to tell them that "These are tits, not crystal balls" and as soon as I get a chance in real time I have a sub strip and then hold a penny against the wall with their nose until he's ready to open up.

Maybe I'm just not right.

---------------------------------

i do understand Your frustration. but too, and not all here, but many guys are actually a bit scared to say too much. i know "I" have had a LOT of trouble, because many of the dommes are so damn picky. if i say one thing, they get upset coz i am too aggressive, if i say another, they get upset coz i am too openly honest and abrasive. i am damn if i do and damn if i don't.
i am very fortunate my new Mistress understands macho-alpha-male-lingo coz She is able to finish my sentences before i know what i am going to say myself.
She never once got upset coz i am too abrasive, or coz i said some guy-thing that was sexually explicit from a guy attitude...about gals...or whatever else i came up with.
===================

someone NEEDS to start a school for dommes to learn guy-stuff so they are not so damned offended so easy like this was 1940's or some stupid stuff. WHY advertise You are a Domme and then pretend You are a timid little school girl that gets offended if a guy says something to You? us guys do NOT grasp this.
hey!
start a school for guys to teach us Domme stuff so we don't say anythuing wrong?

oh. i know!!
we ALL go to school in the same class? oh...wait...where "I" come from,....MY elders told ME once you are over 21------- DEAL WITH IT!! it's a big world and no one is going to hold your hand and powder your butt. this is where "I" come in coz "I" was taught to BE aggressive AS a macho alpha male in this world to BE a man.
walk the walk AND talk the talk. never back down and never look away. no retreat no surrender.

===========

sorry. soap box. i got carried away.

but anyway........W/we need to find ways to communicate to each other..........

wolfie....sniffs the air, and pads-away.

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to MadamMichelle)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 8:11:09 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

My suggestion to you would be to use the telephone, instead of the pager or trading messages back and forth. The telephone is a much better and more effective medium for communication, especially when trying to assess compatibility.

I agree with UR here. The more information a medium permits you to exchange, the more effective that medium is. Then again, there is something to be said about meeting face to face and having a nice long conversation.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 8:20:20 AM

Posts: 142
Joined: 1/17/2005
From: Michigan
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMichelle

Phones are good, Mainly because it cuts down on "edit time"

One of my favorites ways to let someone know that they better start communicating better is to tell them that "These are tits, not crystal balls" and as soon as I get a chance in real time I have a sub strip and then hold a penny against the wall with their nose until he's ready to open up.

Maybe I'm just not right.

ROFL That sounds like a great method! I'll have to remember it the next time someone clams up on me. Seems this happens in R/L just about as often as online. I found that when I explain I need feedback, that I'm not psychic, that little reality check seems to work with opening most of them up. After the first explanation, the ones who can't seem to grasp that I need input from them, I don't bother with after that. I lobbed the ball into their court and they let it fall flat. I'm not into doing all the work to make their time pleasurable -- it's gotta be at least 50-50.

_____________________________

Ojedieu

(in reply to MadamMichelle)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 9:32:50 AM

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

ehhhhhh. phones are nice i guess. i still prefer one on one face to face.

wolfie

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to Ojedieu)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 9:35:18 AM

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

(Personally I prefer cock on face, but that's just how I'm wired.)

(in reply to lonewolf05)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 9:38:54 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I do move to the phone----IF I can get past that initial chat online! I am not eager to hand my phone number out to every guy who wants to talk to me.

Wolfie, you know that I dig where you're coming from. I am not a person who goes through life looking to be insulted, and while I am picky, I am not looking to rip apart a person's every sentence. What many of us here are insulted by are the OVERT sexual comments that treat us as if we were phone sex operators. The total ignoring of us as individuals, rather than interchangeable fantasy figures. The absolute lack of the most basic social skills.

Okay, maybe these guys are dweebs in other settings, too. But when you consider that these prospective subs are/were married, gainfully employed, raising children, and generally functioning in the world, how can so many of them have no clue how to approach another human being?

Is it the safety of the computer screen? Would any of them have the nerve to go up to RosaB at a public setting and offer to drink her "nectur"? Or would they understand that some things are just Not Appropriate? I suspect that they are the wankers that we see at the fetish clubs, staring at us from the sidelines.

I've thought about doing a BDSM Charm School.......but I decided that I would just be preaching to the choir, and the ones who really needed help would still be wanking in corners.

(in reply to Ojedieu)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 9:52:53 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
(Personally I prefer cock on face, but that's just how I'm wired.)

*Looks at LaM and sharpens her inscissors.*

You sure about that?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 10:05:56 AM

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

That's why clever people invented open-mouth gags, LA. In fact, there's a thread going on about it right now.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 10:35:24 AM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

That's why clever people invented open-mouth gags, LA. In fact, there's a thread going on about it right now.

Oh! Ok. I think you would look cute with an open-mouth gag! ;-)
*gets her strap-on*

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 2:33:05 PM

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Oh goody a show. Now the wnakers will be all over this thread <shakes head>

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 2:47:04 PM

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Well, not yet--they can't start wanking until LA and I figure out which one of us is supposed to wear that dadgum gag.

(in reply to dominmd)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 7:29:26 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Well, not yet--they can't start wanking until LA and I figure out which one of us is supposed to wear that dadgum gag.

Well since you are in the Ask A Mistress forum, you can get down on your knees and wear the gag and I'll wear the dick. How's that? ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 7:48:23 PM

Posts: 474
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

ROFL. Now that is a reply I like!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Grrrrrr.... - 8/25/2005 10:56:43 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamMichelle

Phones are good, Mainly because it cuts down on "edit time"

One of my favorites ways to let someone know that they better start communicating better is to tell them that "These are tits, not crystal balls" and as soon as I get a chance in real time I have a sub strip and then hold a penny against the wall with their nose until he's ready to open up.

Maybe I'm just not right.

---------------------------------

i do understand Your frustration. but too, and not all here, but many guys are actually a bit scared to say too much. i know "I" have had a LOT of trouble, because many of the dommes are so damn picky. if i say one thing, they get upset coz i am too aggressive, if i say another, they get upset coz i am too openly honest and abrasive. i am damn if i do and damn if i don't.
i am very fortunate my new Mistress understands macho-alpha-male-lingo coz She is able to finish my sentences before i know what i am going to say myself.
She never once got upset coz i am too abrasive, or coz i said some guy-thing that was sexually explicit from a guy attitude...about gals...or whatever else i came up with.
===================

someone NEEDS to start a school for dommes to learn guy-stuff so they are not so damned offended so easy like this was 1940's or some stupid stuff. WHY advertise You are a Domme and then pretend You are a timid little school girl that gets offended if a guy says something to You? us guys do NOT grasp this.
hey!
start a school for guys to teach us Domme stuff so we don't say anythuing wrong?

oh. i know!!
we ALL go to school in the same class? oh...wait...where "I" come from,....MY elders told ME once you are over 21------- DEAL WITH IT!! it's a big world and no one is going to hold your hand and powder your butt. this is where "I" come in coz "I" was taught to BE aggressive AS a macho alpha male in this world to BE a man.
walk the walk AND talk the talk. never back down and never look away. no retreat no surrender.

===========

sorry. soap box. i got carried away.

but anyway........W/we need to find ways to communicate to each other..........

wolfie....sniffs the air, and pads-away.

You are so right. I consider myself truly blessed because when I came out into lifestyle I was running the kitchen in a gay leather bar and was trained by men. As a matter of fact that was my mating call,"100% percent woman trained by several 100% men." I never forgot I was a girl but the tomboy in me allowed me to communicate with boys a little better and the best part, I learned not to take offense when none was meant. Most of the women who spent time playing with Barbie as a child and fixated on having been or not having been a cheerleader should learn that.

On The Soapbox With You
MM

(in reply to lonewolf05)

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