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Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 7:33:01 AM   
TenchiRyokoMuyo


Posts: 47
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline 		I was talking with a submissive/slave (She's not sure yet), and a though came to me. Should a slave have a safety word? Or, the master, having complete, 100% control, should he not have to worry about the slave interrupting the session, but instead should make sure he doesn't push to hard?
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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 8:07:34 AM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		It should depend on the needs and wants of the Dom and Sub, of course.  One single thing is not going to suit each and every person.  However, if she is new, and experimenting with the scene, her pain tolerance, what she enjoys... I would reccomend using a safeword if you think it would inturrupt the flow of the scene for her to stop and just say "That's too much, could you please go a little softer?"  Personally, I think that would be the logical way to go... safewords seem a little silly to me.

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 8:10:13 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TenchiRyokoMuyo

I was talking with a submissive/slave (She's not sure yet), and a though came to me. Should a slave have a safety word? Or, the master, having complete, 100% control, should he not have to worry about the slave interrupting the session, but instead should make sure he doesn't push to hard?


This is a matter between master and slave.  Do what fits the scene and the dynamic.


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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 8:20:54 AM   
TenchiRyokoMuyo


Posts: 47
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline 		I'm sorry if I mislead the meaning of the post. I'm not asking for assistance in choosing this, I'm asking what everyone's personal view/opinion on it is.

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 8:28:35 AM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		And that's what I just put down... I used your sub/slave/whatever as a frame of referance, but ultimately it was just my opinion.  <Shrug> 

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 9:10:47 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		As I say, no one ever plans an attack of food poisoning. And it's for those kinds of emergencies, as well as less acute problems, that safe words and gestures have their place. Accidents happen, a safeword is just another safety precaution, no one being better than the others. They all have their place.

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 9:12:11 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I do not have a traditional safeword, persay.  If I calmly asked my Owner to stop, then she would.  No questions asked, really.

Now, here's the fun part.  If I -had- a safeword, I'd be too prideful to use it.  It's as simple as that.  Stupid, I know, but sometimes I would just let things go further than perhaps they should.  This is why it's very important for her to use her knowledge of my reactions to judge if she's going too far or not.  She tends to know it before I do.  She's stopped before, and simply moved to something else, when my body was reacting badly before the rest of me was.

I'd just have to say, using my experience with myself as to judge, that a lot of submissives/slaves probably don't have an accurate grasp of their own limitations from time to time, so there's a -great- deal of responsibility in Dominants hands.  If they allow their pets safewords, then they should also be prepared to use thier judgement when need be.

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 9:33:19 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		i was rethinking the need of a safety word. Many threads about it lately.
Personaly I think sane people just stop when the slave says enough./stop


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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 9:47:00 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Personaly I think sane people just stop when the slave says enough./stop


That's too easy.  People tend to like to complicate things and use fancy words for "stop".


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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 9:56:18 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Personaly I think sane people just stop when the slave says enough./stop


That's too easy.  People tend to like to complicate things and use fancy words for "stop".



easy is not bad...easy means understandable for all ;) hence the name - safety



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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:05:21 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Repost - If you are an s-type ask yourself
 
"If I had a safeword, would it be respected and if I failed to use it for whatever reason, would I still be safe with that dominant or in that situation"
 
the.dark.

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:15:16 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TenchiRyokoMuyo

I was talking with a submissive/slave (She's not sure yet), and a though came to me. Should a slave have a safety word? Or, the master, having complete, 100% control, should he not have to worry about the slave interrupting the session, but instead should make sure he doesn't push to hard?


There are no universal shoulds when it comes to play or people's relationships.  The use of safe words has been debated countless times on this board.  Some like them, others don't. 

For us, we think it is a misnomer to call it a "safe" word because a word by itself is not going to keep someone safe.  We also prefer direct communication rather than a code word that means something else and short of ending the relationship it is not my decision on when to stop play.  He decides when he will stop and when I have had enough and he uses his skill and experience as a top to make that decision. 

This works for us, but it doesn't work for everyone.  I think it important to remember though that a code word is only one tool for communication and that it is important to use the appropriate tool to accomplish what you want to accomplish. 

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:16:25 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Now I'm going to channel LA...

Safewords, what are they to you?

Safewords  <--more than 20 pages

The use of safewords <-- another multi-page thread

Cali






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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:17:22 AM   
BabyKittyKat


Posts: 42
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066


Now, here's the fun part.  If I -had- a safeword, I'd be too prideful to use it.  It's as simple as that.  Stupid, I know, but sometimes I would just let things go further than perhaps they should.  This is why it's very important for her to use her knowledge of my reactions to judge if she's going too far or not.  She tends to know it before I do.  She's stopped before, and simply moved to something else, when my body was reacting badly before the rest of me was.


Huh, it`s the same with me :) We actually don`t have a "safeword" which means "stop" or something. I use the word "seriously" infront of my sentence if it gets too hard for me. Something like "Seriously, please stop, it`s too much for me". Though we have been together long enough to know each other`s reactions, so the last two months at least I don`t remember using the "safeword". But I keep in mind that I can use it, because there`s always a chance something awful might happen.


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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:26:38 AM   
justt13


Posts: 25
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with the previous post about it being a manner of pride.  I've never wanted to use my safeword, because I want to be able to handle what my Dom gives me.  I guess sometimes we like our limits pushed.  So even though I'd rather not use it, I'm glad I have it if I want it.

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:35:00 AM   
LordShadow


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline 		There are no safe words in my Home. But then I rarely play with girls other than my own.
I do watch very carefully, particularly if I am playing with a girl who is new to me, starting slow and mild, then building from there, always watching and tuned in to her responses to what I am doing.



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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:37:18 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TenchiRyokoMuyo

I was talking with a submissive/slave (She's not sure yet), and a though came to me. Should a slave have a safety word? Or, the master, having complete, 100% control, should he not have to worry about the slave interrupting the session, but instead should make sure he doesn't push to hard?


If that is what the owner wants or that is what they agreed to.

There are very few hard and fast "should"s.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:39:13 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Personaly I think sane people just stop when the slave says enough./stop


That's too easy.  People tend to like to complicate things and use fancy words for "stop".



It might be more complicated but I'm not giving up being able to say "stop" and mean "go" during our force scenes. Too delicious.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/22/2008 10:40:35 AM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:44:36 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		No slaves can use safety words before they know how to safety dance.

MasterMenWithoutHats

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RE: Slave Safety words? - 1/22/2008 10:49:58 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Damn it! I knew there was a catch.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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