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RE: Switches need not apply - 1/24/2008 6:30:12 AM   
oliderid


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline
laurell3 sorry I forgot the other way to be switched :-)

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/24/2008 2:48:36 PM   
slavegyrl


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline
I love being a switch, I was a collard slave for more than 25 years and learned alot from my owners that I am glad to pass on to any bottom who wishes to partake. 

_____________________________

Life is a game, you should come to play and win if you can.

(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/24/2008 4:22:41 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
I have had experiences where switches did not stay content in a sigle role for very long. I am strictly Domme. Of the switches I have been involved with, the majority of them split with me becasue they werent happy just being sub all the time ad I would not allow them to keep their own submissive. Because of this, I wont be with another switch.  Is it possible I am not the only one who has had this sort of experience? I am not as verbal about who I will or wont be with, since I am happily involved with my 2 boys. However were I looking again I might note in my profile that I would not consider a switch becasue of prior experience. It isnt hate, its just preference now.  I could say the same about bisexual men... I have had similiar negative expereince with bisexual men being happy with a single choice.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/24/2008 4:24:00 PM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
Im a bisexual switch and proud of it...I have been a collared slave, a sub, a bottom, a Domme with slaves of my own, a Dominant, a top.....I enjoy all aspects of each position.....I am not easily accepted in the Male dominant world...they just dont get that I am not going to tolerate being treated like a sub right off the bat....and their subs are usually nervous that I will try to Dominant them.....which is not true....at ALL....I am accepted more in the Gay communities just due to the fact that I am female....Of course I dont play with Dominat females at all..LOLmy 2 centsPamela

_____________________________

pettingdragons
"may the moon bless you with her light.......so you dont pee on your feet"

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/25/2008 2:04:39 AM   
BiteGirl


Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

How many times have you seen that on profiles?

Why does it seem most hate switches?


I've never seen it. I ususally only make it so people who are seeking "female switch" come up on my page.

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/25/2008 7:21:47 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline
Only in America are switches *looked* down upon, not understood... etc...
 
The Euoropean Scene, especially in the UK...they are at the top of the chain...
 
Odd....

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/25/2008 9:41:51 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
Some of us just do not wish to share our "toys".

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/26/2008 2:43:43 PM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline
I've only had a few brushes in the community about the whole switch aspect. Otherwise its never been a problem. Being a switch is wrapped up along with my bi sexuality and who I am. Submission is very much about trust with me and as such I have only been a collared pet twice since entering the scene.I've never had a complaint from either side when i'm in either mod I give fully. Now there are periods where I'm on the fence and it comes down to who's around and availible at the time.

Now OP in mind its just like some ppl's preference to not be with bisexuals, so I tend to be pretty clear with my needs and wants from the get go so there are no problems later on. of course I also believe that you should deal with me as I am at the moment and not worry about down the line if its not a serious thing.


_____________________________

"Sometimes I'm sorry doesn't cover it," Acheron

"Its not the size of your fwoosh, Its how you use it", Richard

http://kinkyqueer.net/forum/index.php

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/26/2008 2:57:45 PM   
SageFemmexx


Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline
Whenever I come across a "switches need not apply" comment, I assume the person isn't secure enough to handle someone that can top or bottom depending upon whom they were with.

However, I've also had Goreans throw a fit in email about my stated preference as switch too. I usually simply explain that free woman isn't an option offered on this site and I'd rather not be classified as sub or dom.

I rather like being the odd ball, for me it gets much more interesting conversations with other switches who like myself don't think or want to act like they are in the "box". If it makes people uncomfortable for us to be more openminded--so be it.

Be well,
Sage

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/26/2008 6:26:47 PM   
GoddessSassy


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline
I as of yet have not seen profiles that state Switches need not apply.  Every Dominant or submissive that contacted me have addressed me as a Dominant female.  In conversations with all there has not even been a question as to "will you ever want me to Dominate you Ma'am".  I am sure it will come up and at this point with my mental frame of mind I would say no.  Though, we are all humans and as humans we change through our course of life. 

(in reply to SageFemmexx)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/26/2008 7:46:01 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline
        I'm the one they are afraid of (and I do mean afraid).  The person who gets his charge from the energy created in an intense scene, regardless of the polarity.  The one who can shift role right in the middle of things, take over the toys and give back just as good as I took.

      My attitude towards "Dommes" such as we've heard from here, who are so bigoted towards Switches, they can hardly type straight on the topic, is that they really aren't very good at what they do, and are terrified the bottom will figure it out.  "Switches need not apply" is a big neon sign of their own insecurity.  JMO, of course

_____________________________

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humor have such an inflated sense of self-importance.


(in reply to GoddessSassy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/27/2008 7:46:54 AM   
oliderid


Posts: 63
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline
Shifting role in the middle of things is extremely exciting :-). Losing power or topping...That is what they are afraid of...And probably what I like the most :-).

When you see the surprise in her eyes...This poor little thing that was so sure of herself...Suddently helpless, discplined, handcuffed, blindfolded...And we are back for hours of game.

It could be quite devastating for a weak domme I guess. I never quite understood well. 'Not my thing' is so easy to answer.








(in reply to TheHeretic)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/27/2008 1:37:18 PM   
XtreamMind


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
I remember in my early years there was this girl I was really hot for. She just oozed sexual energy. In one of our many conversation I remember her telling me "I just could never stand being tied up." My reply was, "Yep, me either." It just wasn't my thing...It didn't trip my trigger. I was strictly a Dom.

Then one day.....feeling bored.....a fantasy dropped out of my brain, me being the sub. It was really potent. And WOW, because I allowed myself to "run with it " a bit I found a whole new aspect of myself. But I'm still Dom, I just don't like eating rocky road ALL the time. Sometimes I like a good bowl of cookies and cream. I listen to industrial and alternative music most of the time, but sometimes I'm in the mood for Wagner or Bach or Sinatra.

I consider this to be a sign of great strength, after all, we really are all here to plumb the depths of who we are. I attempt to be fearless and fierce in my exploration of myself. I don't want to be afraid to ask the hard questions, or to stop growing. I fully understand "Dom only", I was there once. And I can also see the wisdom in their boundaries. Hell, if I really know that I don't enjoy being a sub, why waste the time. There's plenty of "Sub onlys"

As for the "attitude"....heheh.....its funny to come to a place named "collarme" with a membership consisting of Sub/Dom/Switch/TV/Slave/Master/Bi/Gay/Straight/Sadist/Masochist/PineSap/I'montheFRINGEthisfreakywayandImsogratefultofindaplacethatacceptsme and read "I don't accept you because youre not a 'pure' _________. And by the way, I hate hypocricy and judgementalness". COME ON people! We LIVE in a grey-scale thats on a mobius strip. We above all others should know that each person is a different mix!

I don't let it bother me, I find it comical (with all due respect for a differing opinion of course).




(in reply to oliderid)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/28/2008 2:20:39 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

How many times have you seen that on profiles?

Why does it seem most hate switches?

I never have,
and why would I bother?
It's not everyonce cuppa T,
what's wrong with that?
Better be honest upfront right?

To call it hating someone, is a bit too strong really.

One has a wish, and for that person it's not a switch.
Each to their own.

Focus on the good!
And on the good people around.

And the nice emails ya find in ya mailbox now and then!!
That's worth focussing on, instead of the negative!

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/28/2008 10:22:02 AM   
KnOcala


Posts: 260
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
I don't like the negativity associated with being a switch, I feel people are closing opportunities with some really great people out here.
However I have to agree with Goddess Tease and say its not for everyone and they have to stick to their own feelings.  Many don't want to share their dom/sub with another and many not willing to play on both sides of the fence.  They should be true to their feelings and not be labeled as a hater.  Just because someone doesn't choose to like what we do, switching roles, doesn't in anyway show any hatred or discontent.
Be yourself and get thos most out of life focusing on the positives and don;t get too hung up on what doesn't go your way.
.


(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Switches need not apply - 1/31/2008 7:08:49 PM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnOcala
They should be true to their feelings and not be labeled as a hater.  Just because someone doesn't choose to like what we do, switching roles, doesn't in anyway show any hatred or discontent.


Very true I see profiles all the time that have things like, no men, women only or No Trans-gender persons, slaves need not apply, its all in what the other person is looking for...As a switch I wouldn't WANT to be with someone who doesn't accept me for who I am...I am a switch...:)Pamela

_____________________________

pettingdragons
"may the moon bless you with her light.......so you dont pee on your feet"

(in reply to KnOcala)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Switches need not apply - 2/1/2008 5:57:13 AM   
Parataxis


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lapresence

Being one of those people, I shall explain.  At least for me.

I've been with several switches.  The problem is that they eventually want you to dominate them.


Really?  Because from my experience, most switches tend not to switch within relationships.  There are people I can sub to, people I can dom, but extremely rarely (one and a half times in the last decade or so) have I met people who I switch with, and both times they were switches themselves.  Other switches I know are generally the same way.

Not denying your experience, just saying that  it's not a common one.  

(in reply to lapresence)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Switches need not apply - 2/1/2008 6:08:24 AM   
Parataxis


Posts: 56
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I've never understood that saying.  What's the point of cake if you cannot eat it?


It actually makes more sense if you reverse the clauses (same meaning, but it's easier to understand).  "trying to eat your cake and have it too".  That is, somebody wants to be able to enjoy eating the piece of cake, but also wants to still have it.  It's a problem I have with a lot of the bottles in my wine cellar - that's why I buy three of each now. ;)

But you can either have your cake, or you can eat it - once you've eaten it, you don't have cake anymore, you have shit. ;)  

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Switches need not apply - 2/2/2008 2:52:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
I don't hate redheads, I just don't get turned on by them. I don't hate short men, but they aren't my preferred partners either. I don't hate skinny men, I don't hate picky eaters etc etc. Everybody is allowed their own preferences. If someone knows they aren't attracted to bisexual, switchy, short, skinny, picky redheads, then why not say so and don't waste either person's time?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Parataxis)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Switches need not apply - 2/2/2008 3:08:59 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Parataxis


quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I've never understood that saying.  What's the point of cake if you cannot eat it?


It actually makes more sense if you reverse the clauses (same meaning, but it's easier to understand).  "trying to eat your cake and have it too".  That is, somebody wants to be able to enjoy eating the piece of cake, but also wants to still have it.  It's a problem I have with a lot of the bottles in my wine cellar - that's why I buy three of each now. ;)

But you can either have your cake, or you can eat it - once you've eaten it, you don't have cake anymore, you have shit. ;)  



Nah you can have your cake and eat it too, it's all a matter of perspective.  I won't change my profile because others are close-minded about it, in fact that's a good reason not to.  I don't have to please the entire internet, only one person and I'm content with that.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Parataxis)
Profile   Post #: 60
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