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RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/14/2008 8:25:06 AM

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I would have to agree that some 21 year olds do go through a lot more than others who may be older than them. I know that I had an incredibly difficult life, growing up, and as a result, I had to grow up a lot faster than others. I feel this is part of what made Me more mature. I specifically sought out relationships with older women, because I felt that most of the women My age were not on par with where I was emotionally and mentally. I believe each person is different.

I wouldn't trust some 21 year olds with a crop if My life depended on it, but I also wouldn't trust some of the 50 year olds I know either! Age is relative.

-D

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/14/2008 8:50:07 PM

Posts: 192
Joined: 2/18/2007
From: Perth, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskwolf

Hmm... I guess coming from a 22 year old, this reply isn't going to mean anything, based on your opinion... :P But I'll continue anyway.

I know for a fact that in my lifetime I've had more life experience than some people I know that are in their 30's and 40's even. I've seen things they've never seen, learned things they don't know or don't care to know, and I've done things they've never considered.

So does a number of years actually equal the ability to present oneself in any form? No.
Does a number of years only allow you to know, learn, understand, or appreciate so much? No.

A number of years, is just that, you can't measure what a person can learn, or experience in a set timeframe, it's different for every person.

Having said that, I'm in a similar boat with some of the people who find wording like "thanx" and "grinz" to be less than a convincing in this discussion... Especially taking into consideration the number of the "younger" generation who type in such a way. Ironic in a sense, isn't it?

But anyway. As far as anyone who won't take Me seriously because of My age, All I have to say to that is that they are too close minded. Plain and simple. Age is a number, not a limit to experience, not a barrier.

Thats My 2c though... Make of it what you will.

see, you sound pissed, because of some ones opinion. And you judge me wrongly. I started at 16....and I sucked at it..experience wise. I admit that..because I have been in situations, since then, from which I learned.
I gave examples...and if you read all posts..you wil see my opinion. You propably just read my last one, which is an example about how experience is build.
Your post has the same meaning to me as all the others..no matter what age.

quote:

I know for a fact that in my lifetime I've had more life experience than some people I know that are in their 30's and 40's even. I've seen things they've never seen, learned things they don't know or don't care to know, and I've done things they've never considered.

give us examples and we tell you

My comments weren't directed at anyone in particular, save for my opening comment, which was directed more at OP than anyone.
So don't assume I'm judging you at all, It wasn't my intent if thats how it came across.

I read the first couple of pages and replied from there, I'm not sure which post exactly brought me to reply off the top of my head.

Personally I started when I was 17, nearly 18.. A vanilla relationship that developed. I have no problem admitting that I didn't have enough experience to be good, in some ways to be respected in that sense, but I learned a hell of a lot from recognizing that I needed more experience before I foreseeably could be respected by the community en masse and seeking out more knowledge, observing and gaining more experience from doing.

I dislike thinking that someone would think I'm judging them based on one or two posts, or because of their opinion on a subject. That's too small an amount of information to judge anything.

Every new thing you experience is something that someone else of same age may not have.
I guess it depends on how you look at examples though, you can look at them generically, to gauge life experience, or specifially in regards to the community... in the end both examples are in some ways similar. There's no limit on how fast you can gain experience, and there's no saying that because you have that experience, you are mature.
It's the control you exhibit over what you know, and whether or not you use what you've experienced as a... framework (for the want of a better way to put it) for your life(style).

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/14/2008 9:21:28 PM

Posts: 192
Joined: 2/18/2007
From: Perth, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer
That's not an inditement against young people being involved, it is mearly the facts of the matter that have to be taken into account. That said the young people today have a huge advantage over us who have been around for 10-15 years.
There is more readily available information on more aspects of the lifestyle than we had access to when we were starting out.

When I started out there might have been a half dozen non fiction books about kink by kinky people. Today there are dozens of them. The accumulated knowledge in print accessable to annyone with the interest is 100 times what it was just a few years ago. The information is just sitting there waiting on the young today. I actually envy them a little bit in that reguard.
I remember having to make trips to cities hoursaway to even hope to get a little instruction and information. Today that same information is available with a few keystrokes.

What took me years to gather can with the same level of desire to learn I had be learned in less than half the time.(mostly talking about physical skills there)

While I agree with what you're saying, the inverse is that while that information is there, knowledge of it does not equal experience.
Sure, anyone can read a pile of books, read up online, make a list of knots they can do, and talk the talk... But that means they've taken in the information that is available. That doesn't mean they have lived the life... I just means they have a lot of time to read. Bookworm. :p

I agree with a lot of what people are saying, primarily the older people who aren't abandoning this as a lost cause...

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia
No one is saying chronological age is the issue. The issue is experience. Lifes experience. A 20 year old, adventurous as he/she may be, can't possibly have experienced some things that older people have. For example, how many 20 year old's have a mortgage, a dog and three grown up children? How many 20 year olds have worked in fields where dealing with traumatised, abused children? Rape victims? How many 20 year olds have organised a funeral? Been retrenched from a job and worried sick because no one wants to hire a middle aged woman/man, preferring younger applicants? THAT'S the kind of experience that people are trying to illustrate.

There are some things that a 20 year old can't possibly have experienced, granted, but there are things they may have experienced that a 40 year old may not have yet.
There are some things that have boundaries on when they can be experienced, others do not. That doesn't mean that one has less experience than another, it means they have differing experiences. You can't base someones experience on a system of "you're not old enough to have experienced this yet, therefore you have less experience than I do" because everyone has differing experience, it doesn't mean they understand less. It really depends on the subject matter, and the maturity level of the person experiencing it.

Personally, I have a mortgage, I've had pets, I've organized a funeral, I've seen both the beginning and end of a life first hand, I've nursed someone, had a mental breakdown, been stabbed, Nearly died twice, been taken to court and lost prized possessions, helped raise a child, became the head of a household at 14, I've travelled, and more.

I can honestly say I only know two people who can say that they've had similar experiences as I have at 22. But at the same time, while I have experienced those things, I know that there are other people out there who've experienced different things, that lead their lives in another direction, that doesn't mean they have less experience than I do, it means their experience is different, and I know there are people out there who are older, with much more experience than I have. I always have time to listen to a person who is willing to share their experience with me. Though never while drunk. :p

I think we've kinda strayed from the real topic here though... It quickly became Age vs experience in general.
To say that within the community, a practising 20 year old and a practising 40 year old, the 40 year old will have more experience in BDSM assuming they have more time involved, however that doesn't mean they should discredit someone younger, because they were once that person, and also that person potentially has many life experiences that they may not, and may be far more mature and developed than they're given credit for, if one is too quick to judge. At the same time, a 20 year old with 4 years experience will be more experienced in the subject than a 40 year old with 2... at least in theory. Theory and practise often don't fit together as well as we'd like to think. :)

Again, not an attack at anyone or an attempt to judge anyones opinion.

Footnote: Apologies for the double post. I tend to ramble on a bit.

< Message edited by Duskwolf -- 3/14/2008 9:22:24 PM >

(in reply to Archer)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/14/2008 9:48:13 PM

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Joined: 3/11/2005
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Of course book/ reading does not equal experience however the opporunities to gain experience have grown as well.
I watched and participate while a munch in Dallas Tx grew from 12 people to over 200 people in the space of a few years.
I watched as new educational weekend conventions started and grew als from ju7st a few folks to hundreds.
Watched as munches spread from only being available in cities over half a million to today where almost any city half that size has at least one munch and maybe two.

It is an effect of the internet surge in numbers. starting in the mid 90's and spreading like a brecks commercial.

The opportunit today fr getting education including hands on is far greater tqn it was 10-15 years ago it's mostly a factor of the growth in numbers.

(in reply to Duskwolf)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/14/2008 9:55:34 PM

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Duskwolf, I agree. Experience's for everyone are different, that is nature and life. You could never know what childbirth feels like, because you will never give birth. On the other hand, find me two women who've had kids who have had the same labour. There aren't any, because every woman and every labour is different. I personally have experienced more in 47 years than my mother has in 80 years.

You can't base someones experience on a system of "you're not old enough to have experienced this yet, therefore you have less experience than I do" because everyone has differing experience, it doesn't mean they understand less. Yes, I'm afraid it does mean they understand less. For example, even a woman who hasn't been raped can't possibly know what it feels like to be raped. We can try to empathise, try to be kind and understanding, try to imagine, but will never really know.

As far as I can see in this thread, the only posters who are discrediting anyones opinions are one or two of the younger males.

Like it or not, the majority of younger men and women ARE less experienced in life, simply because they have not been on this earth long enough to experience very much at all. It doesn't take a quantum leap to understand that equation. It's simple logic. A 5 year old is sent to primary school, an 18 year old to university. There's a reason for that. Yes, there are child prodigies, but they are the exception to the rule.

_____________________________

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Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to Duskwolf)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/14/2008 10:41:58 PM

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I agree with Miss Magnolia here. What it boild down to is a good combination of life experience, education, maturity and attitude. Some 21 years olds have it and some 5o year olds don't and probably nere will.. Like all things important, each person must be virewed on a case by case basis and forget the generalizing for it paint way too many people, often erroneously, with the same brush.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage

My Life for my Queen
My Soul for my Goddess
My Heart for my Lady
And my Honor for myself

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 2:50:24 AM

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Joined: 2/18/2007
From: Perth, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I agree with Miss Magnolia here. What it boild down to is a good combination of life experience, education, maturity and attitude. Some 21 years olds have it and some 5o year olds don't and probably nere will.. Like all things important, each person must be virewed on a case by case basis and forget the generalizing for it paint way too many people, often erroneously, with the same brush.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage

My Life for my Queen
My Soul for my Goddess
My Heart for my Lady
And my Honor for myself

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

That is the essence of what I was getting at. Much better put though. Didn't take two posts for you to say it. :D

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 5:15:14 AM

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I believe that age does not equal experience and nor does experience equal age.

For me it is about the quality of the person not their age I wouldn't look down on someone for being 21 and a Dom who has felt those tendencies read up on the subject and has had 'different' relationships since mid-teens - nor would I look down at someone who is 35 and just developing and learning about their dominant urges - yes sure the 35 year old will have more life experience but that dosn't mean that a 21 year old with less life experience is to be looked down upon.

At 22 my views and opinions are changing all the time - they have changed in the past year they will change again in the next few and then again and again.

Peoples views and opinions do tend to change and grow as they become older.

(in reply to Duskwolf)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 5:43:37 AM

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The only thing that matters is how master and slave feel about each other, regardless of any experience either of them has or doesn't have. If their relationship is solid, if they listen to the desires of the other and explore each other's limits, age is irrelavent, they've got a type of realtionship that many do not have.

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:00:13 AM

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agree...but the |if's| make you wonder, not?

_____________________________

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(in reply to elondria)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:15:30 AM

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Age ,fancy words or experience dont really matter.Your either happy in the situation or not and whats lacking can be learned or tought if its worth the effort.

_____________________________

If i have negative thoughts about "The Secret" does that mean i will be confronted by it constantly?

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:18:07 AM

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fancy words and age not.... but experience can be handy
In a relation it is not always needed. But beeing a Master it can't hurt to have.

btw.. if we don't need experience...why do we want to learn then ?

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(in reply to Imaticklor2005)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:40:07 AM

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Was more stating that if it wasnt present yet but she sees that he does have the potential and its worth the effort then what does it matter.

_____________________________

If i have negative thoughts about "The Secret" does that mean i will be confronted by it constantly?

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:17:28 PM

petitespitfire64

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PERFECT reply.
A "Master or Mistress" must first HAVE a slave of thier own...and they are Master to THAT person.
The plethora of AOL insta-"doms" and "masters" has sullied the old school meanings of these words of honor, as they have so many other areas of the BDSM community.

_____________________________

**Daneene**
"The right thing to do isn't always the popular thing to do"

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:27:03 PM

MontrealPhoenix

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Well everyone has to start SOMEWHERE. I don't see why someone should be judged merely by their age...

Phoenix

_____________________________

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~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 6:50:22 PM

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Joined: 9/27/2005
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quote:

Who would a 9 year old find to Dom? <headshake>

I think most parents know the answer to that one!

(in reply to Indemnis)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 7:48:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master?
I find it hard to understand how one so young could have the understanding, wisdom and life experiance which is needed to be a Master.

From what age do you take them serious?

Thanks for your answers.

GoddezzT`

I take them serious when they KNOW what a clitoris is, how it functions, what to do with it and it's importance to the female orgasm.... and he no longer giggles every time he says breasts...

(hey.. I know I'm late on this one but it took me awhile to think this response up

)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 7:54:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I take them serious when they KNOW what a clitoris is, how it functions, what to do with it and it's importance to the female orgasm.... and he no longer giggles every time he says breasts...

LOL!

_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/16/2008 11:25:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I take them serious when they KNOW what a clitoris is, how it functions, what to do with it and it's importance to the female orgasm.... and he no longer giggles every time he says breasts...

(hey.. I know I'm late on this one but it took me awhile to think this response up )

lol I will lower you entry level then, and help "THEY"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clitoris

and lets be honest...hardly any one on here know how it functions (who cares). What todo with it ..ok they propably read that too on wiki :P
so perhaps wiki equals experience...but you can read read wiki as soon as you have internet access
Perverd!!! lol

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 3/16/2008 11:28:52 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/17/2008 3:26:39 AM

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Joined: 2/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Funny how those of us who are tring to actually engadge the young in logical discourse are the ones being attacked for not taking them seriously. LOL
The ones not taking you seriously have long since abandoned the post shaking their heads.
I look for ways to take people seriously, sometimes they make it really hard to do so.

Medical eveidence has been put forth that the section of the brain that handles risk assesment generally finishes forming between 20 and 23 years old. That's not my opinion that is the finding of medical research. So what bearing does the brains ability to process risk assesment have on being responsible for someone else?

That's not an inditement against young people being involved, it is mearly the facts of the matter that have to be taken into account. That said the young people today have a huge advantage over us who have been around for 10-15 years.
There is more readily available information on more aspects of the lifestyle than we had access to when we were starting out.

When I started out there might have been a half dozen non fiction books about kink by kinky people. Today there are dozens of them. The accumulated knowledge in print accessable to annyone with the interest is 100 times what it was just a few years ago. The information is just sitting there waiting on the young today. I actually envy them a little bit in that reguard.
I remember having to make trips to cities hoursaway to even hope to get a little instruction and information. Today that same information is available with a few keystrokes.

What took me years to gather can with the same level of desire to learn I had be learned in less than half the time.(mostly talking about physical skills there)

i'm sorry Sir if You felt i was attacking You in any way it was not intended and that was my fault for the abrupt speach i do in fact enjoy any conversation i can manage and anything i can gain from Your knowledge would be appreciated. and i never even mentioned any frustration at not being taken seriously wether im serious or not can be judged by people who have met me and know the life i lead. also as for the brain not maturing enough till a certain age there have also been studies done that show that the human brain can adapt to certain enviromental pressures and evolve and mature more quickly where nessesary. and i wouldnt know if information is more readily avalaible now then 10 years ago since i've never read a book about the lifestyle or a web page however 10 years ago i did have a Dom that was training me and prefer to learn that way then to reading about it. plus i dont think information plays much of a part in owning and being able to control a slave i think its something you can only learn by doing being able to measure human responce in such situations is something you can only learn by making mistakes learning from them and correcting them. again dont think im attacking You Sir it is not intended just the way it comes out when i type and i in no way mean to offend You.

(in reply to Archer)

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