RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master?

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RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/19/2008 3:46:25 PM

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I find the whole thing amusing in an apples and oranges kind of way. We are working with two definitions of the word "master":

1. A person who is the dominant in a relationship with a slave.
2. A person who has attained a certain level of expertise with a skill or set of skills (including life skills).

The people who are arguing on the "yes" side seem to be dealing with the first definition; the people on the "no" side seem to be dealing with the second definition, or a combination of both definitions. The "yes" people are saying, "of course I can be in a relationship with a slave"; the "no" people are saying, "how much life skill can you possibly have at 21?"

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/19/2008 6:00:34 PM

MasterWilliam55

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As I said, D/s life skills are harder to learn. We often learn more through our failures and mistakes, and these experiences provide us with insights and the tools to improve on our future. Nothing garantees success. I don't think this topic was about learning how to make relationships work.

I'm not sure what this has to do with being a Master.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/21/2008 1:33:02 PM

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I am a 22yo Dom. Age is just a number. I have gone through more in my 22 years than most people do when they are twice my age. I have had severe depression, spinal meningitis (I know that is spelled wrong), and have constant sinus problems. I grew up mainly around adults. I normally kept one or two friends and they were always older than me. I am more mature than most people and was forced to grow up faster. Yes I am only a Dom, but if the right women came along I would want to be her Master.

(in reply to DerangedUnit)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 8:13:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Actually when you think about it, the same question applies to a 21 year old sub. How can a person who has not yet gotten any personal power transfer something they don't have to another? How can they choose a partner carefully and well when they have insufficient life experience to help them know what characteristics they need in a partner and what characteristics they cannot tolerate?

I am not sure how you were when you were 21, but I think a lot of people are making some serious stretches here. Maybe if we are talking about a teenager around 17-18, but come on.

I'm 24 and I work two jobs, have a very well developed resume of education and experience in culinary arts, a landlord who is responsible for the maintence and bills of a peice of property that I rent rooms out to for profit, and am preparing to go into buisness for myself next summer.

Now...at the same time, there is a distinct difference between me and the average college kid. I was on my own at 17 with no support from parents.

But...still...even with that, there is a large gap from the clueless, naive, idiotic 20 year olds people are depicting here.

Everyone going "Well, how can a 21 year old be a dominant or submissive, when they don't have the experience to do it right?" is missing the point.

How do I have the experience and knowledge and confidence to be able to start my own buisness at 24? How am I able to very successfully manage a property occuppied by some tenants who are twice my age at 24?

The only way you gain experience and confidence in something is by challenging yourself and attempting to do all the things you have never done.

You don't learn what characteristics and traits to avoid in partners until you've had some relationships and made some mistakes. (My response to your other question is that it's silly and I find the idea of trying to imply that a 21 year old has no personal power to be offensive and insulting).

Maybe 21 year olds shouldn't enter into any kind of sexual relationship, because they might lack the life experience to know who is a good guy and who is the one who wants to fuck you, get you pregnant and stick you with a kid. Maybe they shouldn't own appartments and have bills since their lack of experience with managing such things can result in them going into debt. Maybe they shouldn't drink because they have no experience with drinking and might drink too much.

Unfortanely, the only way you get all this life and BDSM experience that all everybody wants to Oooo and Aaaahhh about is by attempting to do the things you have no experience with, screwing up, and learning.

If I had listened to everyone said "Oh you can't handle this because your too young", I won't be anywhere close to the person I am now.

what Rabbit said.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 10:01:47 AM

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From: California
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Velvet hon, give us a break and trim quotes. If you need help learning how, see the "quote boxes" thread.

HelpfulCali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 3/31/2008 10:02:13 AM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to velvetluxe)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 10:09:41 AM

Kana

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Why does anyone give a damn about what others do?
The only thing someone needs to ask is if they would have a 21 year old master.
If so, great.
If not, thats great too.
And if some 21 year old, or 18, or 80, or 105 year old wants to call themselves a master, or a submissive, or a slave, or freaking count dracula, what business is it of anyone elses?
Thats between the person, and whoever they are talking with.
For anyone else, its none of their damn business.
Unless its the 21 year old asking the question, it is the epitome of self-righteousness to stand back and judge, in whatever regard.
Damn, people get their panties in a wad quick about a whole lot of stuff.
The great thing is that many of them have sexual tastes that the majority of the world would deem,errrrrrr, odd, to use a nicely understated phrase.

I fully expect to see this same thread, in a reasonably similar guise on the forums within a week or two.

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 10:11:45 AM

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I've been thinking about this thread for a couple days and have held off posting in order to hopefully get my question straight.

If we question how a man at 21 can be a Master, how come nobody is questioning what kind of sub I am? I'm 21.

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to Kana)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 10:13:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Why does anyone give a damn about what others do?

because we are on a forum, else it would be pretty empty in here

quote:

If we question how a man at 21 can be a Master, how come nobody is questioning what kind of sub I am? I'm 21.

different job, different question. But a good one.
Why not tell us?

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 3/31/2008 10:14:52 AM >

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~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Kana)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 10:30:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

quote:

If we question how a man at 21 can be a Master, how come nobody is questioning what kind of sub I am? I'm 21.

different job, different question. But a good one.
Why not tell us?

I asked the questions because I am unsure of the answer.

But, if I had to shoot an answer out there I would have to say it probably has a lot to do with the different roles and amount of responsibility associated with them. A lot of people mistakenly believe dominants to carry the largest burden of responsibility therefore the dom must be of a more mature age. But, I (which could be wrong) believe the role of responsibility falls equally on both the dom and subs shoulders.

If my dom tells me to go shoot the neighbor for irritating him or to go streaking thru the bowling alley I know these things will get me arrested therefore its up to me to take over responsibility for my actions.

Perhaps, what I'm trying to say is that I believe that some of us (myself included) have put far too much emphasis on age and not enough on maturity and the level of personal responsibility each individual feels.

Praying I make sense,
Haven

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 12:38:58 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Why does anyone give a damn about what others do?

because we are on a forum, else it would be pretty empty in here

Really, why?
Are we that much of a bunch of total losers that we have nothing better to do than opine on things that need no elaboration?

I don't know, we could share our experience, our joys, our sorrows and our losses. We could add knowledge, learn, listen, grow.
Or we can go round and round on the same tired subjects.

< Message edited by Kana -- 3/31/2008 12:39:34 PM >

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 1:08:49 PM

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From: The Netherlands
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After reading almost all answer it amazes Me that there are so many pages over this one question of Mine. And it's still there. When I first posted it, people became so hostile that I didn't bother read it, because I simply have no time for such. But reading through it ít's nice to see how justme696 answered many question, and how many more people kept on returning to the page, I enjoyed the humor from Dnomyar, and a few others.

It amazes Me that when I ask a question, I seem to be judgemental for people.

Why can't people have a different opinion about a subject, and still be respected?

My intention isn't to judge or hurt anyone, I simply don't have the time for that.

I've had young subs, and My experiance is that the majority doesn't know yet what it is they want. (again I don't speak for all) These are My experiances.

To lilMissMisery : I'm curious, OP - were you actually asking how a young man can be a Master, or were you stating your views that he could not? I was asking this, and not saying they can't.

To Rover with that evil wink: What does a submissive/slave call her 21 year old owner? I don't know because I'm no sub. you should ask them

Where does one go to obtain certification as a "Master", "Mistress" or "Goddezz"? No where, what's in a name Rover?

what does one need to know as a Master? How life works, and what can happen, when someone goes deeply into subspace, and one doesn't know what to do, or when they get in touch with a traumatised sub. Those are subjects I was thinking off.

Who enforces them?

No one enforces anything, that's why I feel it can be scary, because anyone can say Im a Dom/me and then the hurt can be easely done. I've seen that happening to subs closeby.

p.s. I couldn't read the small font, that so hurts My eyes, so I didn't read those.

I hope everyone finds the one that he/she feels happy with, and have a great Bdsm time.

Thank Yyou all for responding, and I wish Yyou all a safe journey.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Kana)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 2:39:55 PM

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Why does anyone give a damn about what others do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

We could add knowledge, learn, listen, grow.

is that contradicting eachother?

if you already get bored of repeated subjects...then a forum is nothing for you. Because with every flow of new people and shifted opinions.....there will be repeated discussions.

A pc is like a tv...switch it off..when you don't like it.

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 3/31/2008 2:41:33 PM >

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Kana)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 2:47:20 PM

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

I asked the questions because I am unsure of the answer.

But, if I had to shoot an answer out there I would have to say it probably has a lot to do with the different roles and amount of responsibility associated with them. A lot of people mistakenly believe dominants to carry the largest burden of responsibility therefore the dom must be of a more mature age. But, I (which could be wrong) believe the role of responsibility falls equally on both the dom and subs shoulders.

If my dom tells me to go shoot the neighbor for irritating him or to go streaking thru the bowling alley I know these things will get me arrested therefore its up to me to take over responsibility for my actions.

Perhaps, what I'm trying to say is that I believe that some of us (myself included) have put far too much emphasis on age and not enough on maturity and the level of personal responsibility each individual feels.

Praying I make sense,
Haven

It sure make sense what you wrote.
I have an opinion abour M vs s. But propably because I am a M.
Subs have their view. ANd gladly in many cases they work together and form 1 view.
For sure beeing either sub or Dom isn't eassier or harder then the other. But I think Dommes feel the need to care, raise and protect...like parents..that need some experience. (young parents do ask their parents often for advise for example )
But hé that is just my opinion. And I always think people should be who they are.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to LilMissHaven)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 3/31/2008 8:47:39 PM

MisterStrongWill

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Well this where people who do not understand the terminology correctly. Dominate? MASTER! you can be a dominate but not a MASTER. Master would imply either ownership of, or, at the pinicale of training. Like a master slave.

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 4/1/2008 3:31:52 AM

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Well here is My $.02--I suppose it depends on the location of the view---if I was 20 something today, maybe I would hold that My 20 something peer would be capable of being A responsible Dominant--because that is the location of My view.

However I am not 20 something, so the location for My view is 30+ more years of life and living--responsibility, challenges, commitments, etc. and to Me at this stage, 21 is pretty damn young to assume the responsibility of an LTR D/s relationship- --do I give credibility to a 21 something yr old Dom? Hardly---do I give credibility to a 20 something yr old corporal who is charged with defending My country? I sure as hell do! WHY?

Because the 21 yr old Dom attacks MY validity, MY credibility, it makes MY feathers ruffle---because My view is MY experience, My expertise--well pffttt how could an upstart like that know shit?

But the 21 yr old soldier does something I have no knowledge about, fights in war,--that doesn't attack My self esteem, My credibility, My own expertise.

I feel the same way about the 20 something MBAr who walks in at work waving the Marketing 101 book in My face but I'm damn glad for the 20 something yr old mechanic who keeps My car in tip top shape.

and I can say the same thing if you ask Me about 50 something yr olds as well---you see, I'm human, I'm jaded, I look at maturity based against My capabilities--I judge against what experience and expertise I have and its not right, but it is what emits from the location of My view--at times it sickens Me, at times it reassures Me--but it is what it is. That maturity view has morphed and swung 360 as I have aged.

There are 21 yr olds who can't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the bottom--there are 21 yr olds who have their own entrpreneurial businesses---the same can be said at any age about anyone----its in the view one has from their current location. IMHO

So to answer, from the good humanity view, it depends upon the person I am sure- but from My jaded view, My statement in general would be, I doubt it.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 4/1/2008 3:35:58 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterStrongWill

Well this where people who do not understand the terminology correctly. Dominate? MASTER! you can be a dominate but not a MASTER. Master would imply either ownership of, or, at the pinicale of training. Like a master slave.

There is no DOMINATE
dominant or to dominate
(master slave????? ihhhh my god...)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to MisterStrongWill)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 4/1/2008 4:09:12 AM

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Just me you are fighting a losing battle with the dominate thing. I've never figured out how people who would not claim to be a jump or a hop would claim to be a dominate. People can't be an action but they can do an action.

< Message edited by sharainks -- 4/1/2008 4:10:23 AM >

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 4/1/2008 4:12:11 AM

MistressCamille

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterStrongWill

Well this where people who do not understand the terminology correctly. Dominate? MASTER! you can be a dominate but not a MASTER. Master would imply either ownership of, or, at the pinicale of training. Like a master slave.

There is no DOMINATE
dominant or to dominate
(master slave????? ihhhh my god...)

Thank you! Dominate is a verb while Dominant is a noun.

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 4/1/2008 4:25:04 AM

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domfor sub86. So age is just a number to you. Would you take on a 65 year old submissive. You only think that you have been thru more than most people your age have experienced. That your a Dom is one thing. To play the poor me card is imature.

(in reply to MistressCamille)

RE: How can a 21 year old possibly be a Master? - 4/1/2008 4:27:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressCamille

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisterStrongWill

Well this where people who do not understand the terminology correctly. Dominate? MASTER! you can be a dominate but not a MASTER. Master would imply either ownership of, or, at the pinicale of training. Like a master slave.

There is no DOMINATE
dominant or to dominate
(master slave????? ihhhh my god...)

Thank you! Dominate is a verb while Dominant is a noun.

(That may be true, but a good cigar is a smoke).

(in reply to MistressCamille)

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