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RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/3/2008 4:42:34 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
I love it!

I bow to you, oh Grand Puba!

I genuflect and throw rose petals at your feet!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/3/2008 4:48:06 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline
"Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait."

um, hehe, contact me in private if you really wanna know the truth about that
*choking back gales of laughter* 




~straight from rez town USA

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/8/2008 8:01:09 AM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
A horse and a rabbit

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but
the farmer can't be found. He drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the
mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the
other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the
horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my dick and pull
yourself up." And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a
Mercedes!


_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/8/2008 10:19:14 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

What NOT to do With Your Dominant

- Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry the vein above his right eye throbs.
- "Quit it!" "Ow, damnit!" "I'm hiding that toy when you go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.
- "Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.
- "Ya want fries with that?", "Want me to drink it for you too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you an elaborate drink order.
- Flipping your dominant off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have ways of knowing these things.
- Putting lube, goop, Superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the hands of Master on his toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea.
- Kicking that toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it...repeatedly.
- "Bite me" is never an intelligent response to a command.
- Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire, fire!" during Master's lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.
- Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
- Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices his Japanese rope work on you will try his patience, quickly.
- Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while your dominant is discussing your punishment is not wise.
- There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict.
Count on it.
- Pretending Master's collection of buttplugs are toys and singing the "Weebles wobble but they won't fall down" song is not a good idea.
- Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during wax play will get you punished.
- Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
- "I know you are but what am I?" is not the appropriate response when called a raunchy little whore during humiliation play.
- Using the spreader bars, paddles or canes for the fireplace is not a good plan.
- "Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me" is an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.
- When Master pulls out his bullwhip and says he wants to play, he doesn't mean hide-and-seek. ..he will find you eventually.
- Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce the place up is not what your dominant had in mind.
- "Faster, faster, we need a new Master" is NOT the song to sing during a session.
- "Oh, and you think I am?" is an unacceptable response to hearing your dominant say he is not pleased.
- During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning "Yes, Marster" when ordered to fetch something.
- Adding "Sir" or "Master" to "Fuck that plan!" will not save you.
- Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.
- Arguing whether "Master might not be right, but Master is never wrong" is Zen or Buddhist philosophy will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner on a bed of Legos "to help you consider the question in quiet contemplation. "
- Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Owner up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay BIG.
- Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit??" is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention workers.










_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/8/2008 10:24:09 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
lol  i've always been partial to the last one myself pth... 

and Domah... from personal experience, i am laughing right along with you!

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/8/2008 6:19:22 PM   
Isabelle23


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/21/2007
Status: offline
Classic!

quote:

- Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit??" is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention workers.


quote:

When I was younger I hated going to weddings...

It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to Come
up to me, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "YOU'RE NEXT".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals ...


LMFAO

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/8/2008 6:20:54 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline


i work at a Cemetery, so that last one was a huge hit at work

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to Isabelle23)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/9/2008 8:47:17 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline
hey! here you all are!

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/9/2008 12:44:31 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
domah i love your sigline! 

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/12/2008 7:59:16 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
 Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a
bench talking, and one blonde says to the other,
"Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
the moon?" The other blonde turns and says
"Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????" 

CAR TROUBLE
 

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She
tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for
a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. 
She says, "What's the story?" 
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor" 
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" 

SPEEDING TICKET

 

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and
asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away my
license and then today you expect me to show it to
you!" 

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?" 
The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." 

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's
office and said that her body hurt wherever she
touched it. 
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." 
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left
shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and
screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; 
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream. 
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are
you? 
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." 
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken." 

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car
on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel
was knitting! 
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his
window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL
OVER!" 
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" 

BLONDE ON THE SUN 
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking
one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in
space!" 
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" 
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the
first on the sun!" 
The Russian and the American looked at each other
and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun,
you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. 
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!" 

IN A VACUUM 
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It
was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?" 
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"
>
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their
names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend
said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?" 
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're
watch dogs!"


_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/13/2008 10:28:00 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

domah i love your sigline! 


thanks!
we got a thread for that sweetness  

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Luscious's Laughter Lair - 2/13/2008 10:29:48 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
lmfao   typical, always in the wrong place at the wrong time

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 92
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