RE: Pregnant and Submissive (Full Version)

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KatyLied -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:19:11 AM)

Well I can assure you that even though you replied to me, I did not make that ridiculous comment.  



frazzle40 -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:22:02 AM)

sorry Katie. havent worked out yet how to reply to an individual



fluffyswitch -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:22:05 AM)

i've been thinking about the comment about unwanted children being abused---i see the point but on teh same token i would like to know the stats, and i would like the stats on comparable behavior in planned pregnancies...



batshalom -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:22:54 AM)

~Fast Reply~

I was not thrilled at ALL to find out I was pregnant. In fact, I was very upset about it. Does it mean I suck at being a mama? Does it mean I neglected the new one? Does it mean I didn't participate in kink? tbj, although I am not overly prone to be nasty to anyone, your dramatic throes of holier-than-thouisms amaze me sometimes.

To the OP, I am certain there are Doms out there who would consider you. My best advice, though, is to take it slow and develop the relationship as you would a vanilla one in order to discover whether or not you are truly compatible with this person. If, on the other hand, you are just looking to scratch your kinky itch, be safe (of course) and know that there are men and women out there whose fetishes include pregnant women. Good luck.



KatyLied -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:23:35 AM)

frazzle, no apology is necessary



instynctive -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:37:45 AM)

Ignoring all the rude comments made to the OP...

My SO is 4.5 months pregnant.. we continue play pretty much as normal.. just with a few more "restrictions".. obviously she's not as "bendable" as she is non-pregnant, and with certain areas swelling for whatever reasons, breast bondage isn't as tight as it would be, and I take it a lot easier on her female bits.

So yes, play is entirely possible and enjoyable for both parties during a pregnancy.

However, having said all that, I wouldn't choose to start playing for the first time while pregnant.. I think someone already mentioned this, but now would be the best time to network and make friends and learn all you can about the lifestyle.  But that's just Me.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:38:06 AM)

Just make sure you don't find one with a pregnancy fetish, for a long term relationship and an active desire for pregnant women or their interest could wear off once one isn't pregnant any more, or they could deem to keep ya that way all the time:P

quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

~To the OP, I am certain there are Doms out there who would consider you.



domahpet -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:56:15 AM)

(i think im going to have to retract my olive branch at this time. seriously, that was The shittiest thing ive seen since i signed on- bar none)

to the OP, im sure youre getting some private messages about your post? the ones that arent reaming you are maybe the ones youd want to discuss this with i think. the ones that are reaming you here on your thread dont really have enough real time experience with bdsm (of any sort) to be trying to step up to this plate.

i have 4 UMs, and i can honestly say i was only happy about the pregnancy discovery once, and he just threw up all over my desk-yippy! and i love them so much more than i could ever love anyone else, including my Dom and my mother. so after taking a break to clean and think, i will offer this-

take all the support you can get here. let the bullshit and seriously sucky advice run right down the drain. take all the time for yourself that you need, to figure out your needs and wants (theres a big difference sometimes), find a kink friendly doctor to talk to ASAP (LA? can you forward some links please???).
and most importantly, take your time! you still have a few weeks to make any decisions concerning your pragnancy and your whole life concerning your new found intrests.

you are in a time frame, but you do have some time, so please use it wisely! good luck and best wishes!



eyezoffire -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 9:56:35 AM)

taken,

First of all, you can tell in less than a month if you are pregnant both with a home test and a blood test.

Second, just because she doesn't want the baby now does not mean that she wants to harm it. The OP obviously has things that she wants in D/s contact...just because you like some thing doesn't mean you have to do it or would in certain situations.

Lastly, my sister just had twins, that she originally did not want. There was talk of abortion, adoption and other things. I couldn't pry them away from her now if I tried. During her pregnancy (anyone's really) it was hard not to get attached to the little babies inside of her.

When people try opening their minds to other's perspectives and stop judging, better things can be accomplished.



SubinMaine -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 10:11:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pregnavygirl

Sirs..... would you be afraid of taking on a sub who was pregnant? I mean im new to lifestyle.. and unfortuntaly pregnant.. but i still wan to learn and serve


Nothing in the above post states she intends on harming her unborn um.

She's interested in the lifestyle.  She wants to learn and serve.  There's no reason she SHOULDN'T, pregnant or not.  When i first entered this lifestyle i didn't just "jump" into anything....it was a slow process of LEARNING.  She has an interest in a lot of things...having an interest does NOT mean she's going to participate in that interest WHILE pregnant.  Maybe she's looking for someone with the same set of ideas and play interests?

An awful lot of assumptions were made...i find that not only sad, but very uneducated.  *i*, personally, have a LOT of interests.  i am also 4 1/2 months pregnant.  We haven't stopped playing, but we HAVE had to rethink what is safe and what isn't.  You can't just "turn off" being submissive.

Yes, there's a lot of whack jobs this girl can run into...but maybe she's putting it all out there in the hopes that she'll find someone who can help her to learn and discover in a safe manner?

Not ALL unwanted babies (nor a good percentage of them) are abused.  A lot of people get pregnant by an "oops"...most of the time it develops from an "unwanted/unplanned" pregnancy to a "Suprise!" pregnancy.  Besides, maybe that "unfortunately" was regarding the situation of pregnancy occurring at the same time as her deciding to take those first steps into the lifestyle?

If she has about 8 months left to go, she could have "found out" anywhere from one week ago to today.  Some women are really in tune with their bodies and know far before any pregnancy test will tell them yes or no.

I knew with BOTH of mine at 3 1/2 weeks....about 3-7 days before a Home Pregnancy test would show positive.

Instead of the rude comments that were made, how about giving her a little information?  Y'know, be helpful instead of hurtful?

Could her profile and post be fake? Yeah it could, but being ignorant about it does nothing productive at all.  And there's no reason to "feel sorry" for her unborn um having her as a mother....you just, esentially, insulted every mother in the lifestyle with that comment.

*the above is to the mis-informed poster with the negative comments*

To the OP:

Choose carefully, take your time, you have ALL the time in the world to get into "intense" play.  Use the gestational period to learn about the lifestyle and, maybe, get to know a potential partner without any hard core scening. Light play and "behavior" training is perfectly safe if approached with knowledge.

i wish you all the best.



frazzle40 -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 10:11:11 AM)

Please accept that not all of us are maternal.           Yes we end up pregnant.        It does not mean we are bad mothers. We make the most of it.

The children dont end up drop outs, unbalanced kids.      

I love my son, He may think that his mother is slightly stange, but he accepts me as me. Oh and he has a good job and isnt in the criminal element.            

to the OP.      single mum isnt bad, it happens.           dont accept second best just to give child a family.           if it isnt what you want it wont happen.      sub does not mean incapable.



Aylee -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 10:18:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pregnavygirl

Sirs..... would you be afraid of taking on a sub who was pregnant? I mean im new to lifestyle.. and unfortuntaly pregnant.. but i still wan to learn and serve


Congrats or not congrats on the pregnancy!  (I am not positive on which way you mean the "unfortunatly")

So, you are about six weeks along it sounds.  (Depending on the method used, pregnacy is either 38 or 40 weeks)

I think that you need to keep in mind that your hormones are really going woogie right now.  That may or may not affect your judgement on choosing a partner.

Looking around, and meeting new people, going to munches, reading books, and such are ALL great things to do right now.

Also, making sure that you have a support network for yourself.  Whatever it may be. 

Yes, some men will RUN at the fact that you are preggers.  Some men will want to be protective.  Some men will want to be friends.  And some men might want to start the begining of a relationship with you.

But, and this is a big one, make sure that you have your support network in place, so that when any of these do not work out, you still have people in your life to turn too.  It is unwise to place all of your hopes into one person. 

Good luck.

Take care and be well.

Best,

Aylee

PS  You are welcome to PM me on the other side if you would like to talk. 



MissHarlet -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 10:43:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: pregnavygirl

Sirs..... would you be afraid of taking on a sub who was pregnant? I mean im new to lifestyle.. and unfortuntaly pregnant.. but i still wan to learn and serve


Congrats or not congrats on the pregnancy!  (I am not positive on which way you mean the "unfortunatly")

So, you are about six weeks along it sounds.  (Depending on the method used, pregnacy is either 38 or 40 weeks)

I think that you need to keep in mind that your hormones are really going woogie right now.  That may or may not affect your judgement on choosing a partner.

Looking around, and meeting new people, going to munches, reading books, and such are ALL great things to do right now.

Also, making sure that you have a support network for yourself.  Whatever it may be. 

Yes, some men will RUN at the fact that you are preggers.  Some men will want to be protective.  Some men will want to be friends.  And some men might want to start the begining of a relationship with you.

But, and this is a big one, make sure that you have your support network in place, so that when any of these do not work out, you still have people in your life to turn too.  It is unwise to place all of your hopes into one person. 

Good luck.

Take care and be well.

Best,

Aylee

PS  You are welcome to PM me on the other side if you would like to talk. 


I think this is the best advice I have seen on this thread today.

I would add .. tho you are craveing contact .. now might not be the best time for it or for makeing major relationship decisions as the hormones during pregnacy dont always allow for " rational" decisions.  There is no reason not to learn all you can now nor for you not to meet like minded people at munches etc.  Just be careful and safe for you have not only yourself but also your unborn to think of.

For those of you that think this is a hoax or that it is ok to make mean comments.... put yourself in the OPs place .... wouldnt it be best to be supportive until proven that this is a hoax.  We never know when a kind word can make a major difference in someones life ... and we have all been the recipient of hurtful words at one time or another .. why perpetuate these by hurling them at others... Im a big fan of " if you have nothing good to say... say nothing at all " ...

If this is not real you have the satisfaction of saying to YOURSELF .... I KNEW IT ...

IF it is real .. you have to EAT your words and wish you had been kinder to a fellow human that was in trouble and confused and reaching out.

Im getting off my soapbox now....but please please please ... treat others as you wish to be treated.....



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 10:51:42 AM)

fast reply

(ignoring the nastiness about the OP and whether or not her profile is fake)

OP, somewhere on this thread is very good sound advice.

i wish you luck.



MissHarlet -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 11:25:08 AM)

I dont care what the OP has on her profile ... she seemed to me to need supportive people around her and I choose to offer that .. I do not believe in offering mean spirited comments to anyone ... or make blanket statements about anyone .. if I do that it is unintentional and I make every attempt to correct that.  I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and take them at face value UNTIL I know differently.  Then it is their karma that has to be dealt with not mine.



laurell3 -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 11:26:18 AM)

FR:  Good god OP I'm very sorry you came here for support and got attacked by people that are paranoid, insecure and make all sorts of assumptions about you with zero knowledge.  I can't imagine why this thread is still standing, however, I would like to apologize to you OP and encourage you to continue posting as you are going to need support.

Now because you've ASKED FOR ADVICE about it instead of jumping on you, I'm going to assume you are asking for advice to make healthy decisions for you and your unborn.  The lifestyle is many things to many people.  Obviously engaging in heavy play would be unwise for you right now.  However, there is nothing that says you cannot learn and develop relationships and in fact engage in sex albeit limited for what you may desire (I won't presume to know what that is as you've not stated it and having a profile means diddlysquat).  It may be much more difficult for you however considering your condition.  I would really be cautious about whom you attract as I don't think it's really unnatural for most balanced people to shy away from your situation.  You can definitely form friendships, attend munches and work on establishing a relationship with someone.  I'm sorry you had an unexpected pregnancy.  I work with people in that situation all the time, I know how difficult it can be to have your life changed so dramatically without planning.  I wish you the best and if you need to contact someone you can also email me.

Off topic, it's far from true that most unwanted ums are abused.  The statistics don't come close to supporting any such assertation.  Let's stop making up stuff to flame people shall we?



kc692 -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 11:40:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

To no one in particular, I am shocked that this thread has not been pulled. It has been very nasty and speaks to TOS violations.


That's what that report button is for, folks.  Everyone that has a problem with any post on any thread should report that post if it is in violation, and help the Mods see the posts more quickly.



Lucylastic -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 11:46:07 AM)

OP please dont take the slightest bit of notice of the nastiness here, many of us have had that unfortunately pregnant feeling and sometimes it passes quicker than others. Im glad to see that the guys were so honest in their responses too.... be wary of those who want to jump in too quick, even tho you crave contact, and I understand that, completely, having someone to make you feel good while you are going through hormonal hades is wonderful, but you owe it to yourself and the lil replicant to be more careful about believing someones sweet talk. 
Are you in the navy? Im asking so i dont make an assumption here... I understand the navy have good health care, ....if you are looking for what is safe to do and not do, ask your obgyn. Lots of women are ok with playing quite vigorously, but you say you are new, so I would spend some you time with some bdsm books , read this site, its been mentioned before, ask questions, many people have offered you the mail side to talk thru( I include myself), take it,  friends online can be such a godsend, and see you thru some terrible times.
Good luck, take your time, there will be people here who will want to know how you are:)
Lucy



MissHarlet -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 11:46:29 AM)

I would hate to see the thread pulled but would not think it remiss for those needing it to be reminded what are TOS violations and what are not. 
In my opinion, for what it is worth, even if this thread is a hoax,  there might be someone reading it in this situation that is afraid to post or ask or start a thread that could use the advice so it is never wasted input or advice.  We never know when the right person will read just what they need.

Edited to Add :  Im NOT saying it is a hoax by any means .. only that IF .. so what



Sirsinini -> RE: Pregnant and Submissive (2/3/2008 11:55:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

messed up is right. If there is really a child, i feel sorry for it.
 Why?Why would you feel sorry for the UM, and why would you feel it necessary to imply that she is lying? *curiously...*


Using the term UNMENTIONABLE is as pitiful as the judgment used of "taken."
 
Children are a wondeful blessing... not UNMENTIONABLE.
 
The use of UM on this site and others is a real slap in the face to children.  Think about how they would FEEL, if they KNEW you called them UNMENTIONABLE.    I wonder how worthy they might feel in your presence, if they heard you call them that.
 
Not directed to camille specificially but to ALL who use this term.
 
To navygirl... No matter your circumstances, you NEED to figure out what is first and foremost of importance in your life.
 
You must respect and gain acceptance of you and your situation BEFORE you give yourself and your unborn child into the hands of another.  Without this, your reckless abandon will again open you up to "unfortunate" situations.

Just my perspective and opinions ....ignore all if you choose.

Sir's devoted property 



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