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RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/10/2008 1:38:44 PM   
sillyfrillyboy


Posts: 64
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

FR:  SillyFrillyBoy asked about 12 Step (and related) groups for kinksters ... or is that Kinky groups of 12 Steppers?  Anyway, I don't know of any specific such around here, but I do know folks with addiction issues who reject that thread of recovery that is very Xtian, very narrowly based.  Look for an "AA for AA" group (Alcoholics Anonymous for Athiests and Agnostics) in your area.

Also, every year at IML there are a number of meetings by and for leather folk.  Seems to be a pretty good bet that you'll find recovering folks into your kink.

E.


It is funny, I belonged to an adult child focussed alanon group and despite it being in the middle of the Bible belt and most of the people were involved in their churches it was the most open accepting group I have belonged to.
Principles before personalities.



yes that is my experience also most people dont push there religious beliefs into the group.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/10/2008 3:30:30 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Does you sponser know about your new found *love*?

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/10/2008 5:11:47 PM   
sillyfrillyboy


Posts: 64
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		That is an excellent question seeing as how I fired my sponsor a little while ago and am looking for a new one... :( That is really something to look at..

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/10/2008 8:11:33 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Oh..one of those that *fires*...`em.
 
<smiles>
 
Trudge carefully...

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/10/2008 10:32:14 PM   
sillyfrillyboy


Posts: 64
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		hehe... long story but thanks allot bud yeah i got spanked by anouther person today to about my priorities in regards to recovery and bdsm... So I am putting it into some serious action asap

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/11/2008 9:11:33 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sillyfrillyboy

That is an excellent question seeing as how I fired my sponsor a little while ago and am looking for a new one... :( That is really something to look at..


i have found that is one of those things that you should have another one lined up before you get rid of the old one, sponsors that is....and how do you fire someone you don't pay? or did you pay your sponsor? i find "break-up with" to be a more apt phrase seeing as how sponsors are often the first people we learn to have relationships with...and we learn that relationships don't automatically mean sexual relationships....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/11/2008 2:07:43 PM   
sillyfrillyboy


Posts: 64
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: sillyfrillyboy

That is an excellent question seeing as how I fired my sponsor a little while ago and am looking for a new one... :( That is really something to look at..


i have found that is one of those things that you should have another one lined up before you get rid of the old one, sponsors that is....and how do you fire someone you don't pay? or did you pay your sponsor? i find "break-up with" to be a more apt phrase seeing as how sponsors are often the first people we learn to have relationships with...and we learn that relationships don't automatically mean sexual relationships....



I think I should clarify a little... it was more of a mutual firing thing... he was a big book thumper which i actually learned allot from but when we hit the 9th step and he wanted me to start making plane reservations to travel the world and make ammends I was like "I cant afford to do that". Then he told me that Dr. Bob made all his amends in person and hence I would have to do the same or something like that. So he told me that if I didnt do it that way that he could no longer sponsor me. So hence we kinda fired each other... :)

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/11/2008 2:53:59 PM   
sunshinedreams


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		Feel free to add me, if you like. I always hate it when people yalk about 'firing' their sponsors or sponsees. Have they been getting payed? How about just parting ways, which is really what it is more like. Now I know in a perfect world, you would find a new sponsor in advance, but from experience, it doesn't always work out that way. Good luck in your search for a new sponsor.

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/12/2008 6:26:52 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		"Firing" is a very common term. I don't see it as a big deal, more like an indication that we don't need to take ourselves so seriously. As for waiting till one has another sponsor lined up before ending it...I think that's generally a good idea, but sometimes a situation is bad enough that it's better just to get the person gone. I canned one who turned out to be a real sicko. Once I realized that, getting rid of him was priority1.

(I've been doing it one day at a time for about 12 years)

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to sunshinedreams)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/12/2008 10:32:54 PM   
subinrecovery


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline 		Pick me! I am one... got 18 years NA!

I am glad I am not alone here... :)

Grateful to be new and here with you all!

Miranda

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/13/2008 12:42:42 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		YAY!! Glad you're here, subin!

(keep coming back!) *grin*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to subinrecovery)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/13/2008 7:31:33 AM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		I was a junkie in high school. its been 2 years since I got clean. Speedballs were my drug of choice. I finally cleaned up after an overdose that litterally stopped my heart for about 30 seconds. I remember shooting up and thinking "Shit, too much!", then waking up with an adrenaline needle in my chest. I still drink a bit, mabye a beer or two every now and then, but not as bad as it used to be. I never did NA or AA, theyre just not for me. I had a very good group of friends and family that helped me through my ordeal.

_____________________________

You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/13/2008 7:45:31 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Wow, geoff...  glad ya survived! Isnt it awesome to have a support circle like that? 

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/13/2008 9:30:15 AM   
sillyfrillyboy


Posts: 64
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		Glad to see all the new posters on the thread here good stuff...

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/14/2008 6:53:54 AM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Wow, geoff...  glad ya survived! Isnt it awesome to have a support circle like that? 


That it is. My family is my anchor in this world. I could not imagine life without them.

_____________________________

You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/14/2008 6:14:48 PM   
rick121x


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/5/2005
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline 		Hi there SilyfrillyBoy:
   I am a friend of Bill Wilson for twenty years now. That's kind of cool, for I remember when I was new, and thinking that I would be finished soon, for I was very bright and quick. Hehe...
   One element that was very important in those days was that I "believed" that I would have to give up BDSM for it was an nasty, antisocial, unethical, and immoral behavior - just not acceptable within the the scope of the Twelve steps. That was almost a deal breaker for me - but my alcoholism had reached the point where I had become willing to give up anything for recovery. I did come to accept that BDSM wasn't any of those awful things, really a gift and benefit for those who willingly participate. Wheeeeew - that was a great relief!
   Interestingly, I located a meeting in Hollywood CA, which was attended by folks who were basic BDSM'ers, and or involved in other edgy social behaviors, both straight and gay. It was just what I needed and I attended that meeting for around four years. It was great stuff, some of the best that I have ever experienced! I have tried to get a similar meeting going here in Las Vegas, but so far it has not worked out well at all. Strangely, in our regular BDSM club, there are a lot of good sober folks in recovery from many different addictions - we do enjoy our comraderie and inside comments very much.
   Welcome to the wonderful world of sober BDSM - I  hope that you enjoy it as much as I have.

Richard


(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/14/2008 6:28:48 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		hi Rick!  Great pics on your profile :) 

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to rick121x)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 2/15/2008 5:56:21 AM   
sunshinedreams


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		I like the point made here. Not letting something else replace the drugs and alcohol can be tricky even with years clean. I might also add, that I have to be very mindful not to replace any relationships for my connection with my HP.
Northwind, I would love if you could send the info over to me. I have quite a few friends in the program that would love to have that info, as well as myself of course.

(in reply to northwindrise)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 7/22/2008 2:10:27 AM   
pazyamor


Posts: 29
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		May not be in the program but I was raised in it!
It's on my baby calendar!  Two weeks, first meeting :P

Mom's 21 years sober, dad's been out a couple times, now has 4. 
I still feel like I'm part of the family, in the program or not.  hehe.

did alateen for a few years.
whiny ass stoner kids ...*giggle* 

i would imagine that there is no possible way you could have a sponsor and not tell them about BDSM.  100% honesty with yourself and others keeps you sober.  once those lies and secrets start coming, things get scary. 
say you're in a bdsm relationship, you haven't told your sponsor, and then you stop seeing each other.  breaking up is not something an alcoholic should do alone.
i understand the possibility of having the perfect sponsor that you trust and love, and still being afraid to tell them, but you really have to do some serious thinking as to if those secrets are going to hold you back from sobriety.
anyway that's the way i see it.  thanks for posting this!

(in reply to sunshinedreams)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Anyone here in recovery? AA NA CA what have you. - 7/27/2008 6:47:08 AM   
Fwholuvs2listen


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, I've been in OA for 4 years. 1.2 years of abstinence thanks to my higher power. Program provides me with amazing fellowship. 

(in reply to sillyfrillyboy)
Profile   Post #: 60
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