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RE: You deserve to be single - 2/7/2008 9:19:48 PM   
browneyedenigma


Posts: 9
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Do you think that people who complain about their inability to find partners - yet, they limit their searching to basically this place (Collarme) - deserve to be single?  Those that don't make an effort to go to munches or parties, don't look in other avenues, don't use other services that may cost money?

I attend local munches and socials but still choose to go with CM, above the other sites.  Yes, there is a part of me that likes the "free" part...but a bigger part likes this site because it seems more suited to finding a relationship versus a one-night stand (like Alt, AFF, etc).

Collarme is a free site.  As such, it invites a lot of time wasters -- after all, you can make a profile for free and have all the fun you want and never intend to meet anyone.  If collarme was a pay site, would these people who are complaining pay, or just stop using this site?  Is there something to be said for the willingness to invest (perhaps in another of the personals site that has a pay option, or, through a more vanilla setting with some clever innuendo) money in the search? 

There are "time wasters" on every singles site...even the "vanilla" kind.  Some people are more suited to their computers than an actual partner.

People complain a lot about the search functions here, how there are too many fakes or pros, how people vanish, etc.  Yet, they forget to realize this is a free site - of course, with that, you get an element of waste.  So instead of paying with money, you are paying with time.  How valuable is your time?

My time is valuable regardless of how much money I choose to spend, or not spend, in this case.

Would you be willing to pay $50 a month for a personals service that guaranteed no pros were lurking? No tribute seekers? How about $100?  How about $10?  These are rhetorical questions, but the answers may be interesting.

*Life* offers no guarantees,so how is Collar Me supposed to?

Do you pay for a personals service (bondage.com, alt, whatever) and if so, are the results considerably better than here?  Do you waste less time there?

I used ONE other site that I paid for every year, for several years on end.  I achieved no better results there than here...in fact, I've had better luck here.

If you don't choose to search for partners via other means - parties, munches, etc., what's the reason?

This doesn't apply to me.  I personally can't fathom why someone would want to limit their search to "online dating."

Akasha


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 12:47:17 AM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:


If you don't choose to search for partners via other means - parties, munches, etc., what's the reason?



Some people are just not into the public thing.

I found Master on craigs list anyways.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 1:04:36 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
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Padriag, I am appalled to read that some sites actually charge men for membership, but not women - that is something I hadn't heard of until now. I've heard of some BDSM-related clubs charging men MORE and I've always been of the opinion that I refuse to patron establishments that discriminate on gender.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag
I've used some pay sites in the past (i.e. Alt.com, Bondage.com and few others) and I can't really say they were any better than CM.  Part of the problem is that often they charge only men, while allowing women free memberships.  So it doesn't really eliminate all the "time wasters".  Some also salt their female membership with "ringers."  Even on some more expensive services, there were still problems with either the service itself or with some of the members I was "matched" with.  But, I can say on the more expensive and more discreet services, the problem was significantly less.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 1:17:00 AM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline
You'd think there were fewer women than men in the world.

happy hour, online sites that dont charge- what does the female half do with themselves exactly?

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 2:53:15 AM   
travelgman


Posts: 187
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
I have been on CM for about a week now. And find it to be a good site. I would actually pay to access it now that I have seen it. I joined alt and payed so that basic members could send me messages-which they can not do otherwise. For me it was a horrible waste of time and money. Most of my messages never got to the people I sent them to and likewise the messages they sent me usually never got to me. I eventually just gave up and  stopped going to the site at all . Cm's recent email problems are a little easier to take  as I am not paying anything to use this site. That and in the short time I have been here. I have already met more interesting people on this site than on the other one.

I do agree that you have to be open to meeting people in all aspects of your life. Not just on sites like this. Sites like this. Allow us to find people who are like minded in an aspect of our lives that is important to us.Thereby giving us a head-start on building the kind of relationships  we are looking for. But that doesn't mean they will be any more compatible in the long run that someone you might run across at the grocery store. This holds true regardless of what kind of relationship you are trying to find.

The following are some things I have noticed though while looking through profiles of submissive women on the site These are the only profiles that interest me. So do not think I am bashing submissive women on  the site. I am quite sure there are issues with other categories of people on the site. But I will leave those comments to someone else.

It seems to me that a lot of the subs are hooked into a set fantasy image of  what they want in a Dom. The tall dark mysterious stranger who will sweep them off their feet and they will instantly be a perfect union and live happily ever after. Don't get me wrong. I am not knocking anyones fantasy or wants. But if your journal is full of posts about how lonely you are and how you wish you could find someone special.. Maybe you might want to consider just what it is you really want and  if your fantasy isn't making you pass up some realities that would be good for you. 

On that same note. Everyone has their likes and dislikes and if it is something that is really important to you that is fine. But I keep seeing subs with these long lists of things they will not accept in a Dom. I especially find this one interesting when it is combined with the fantasy issue stated above. You want a mysterious man who will sweep you off your feet and take you off to a life of adventure. Yet you expect him to fit some pre-made list. That would seem to take all the mystery out of it to me. I have seen very few couples regardless of how great their relationship was. That liked and disliked all the same things.

And lastly. Ladies this may be an adult lifestyle site. But I hate to tell you. What your mommas told you years ago about -- free milk and the cow- still holds true even here. If you show pretty much everything you got right off in your main profile photo. Most men will not pay much attention to your pleas for respect. It's one of those perfect world scenarios versus the reality that exists.

Have a great weekend everyone.


" I control my destination" - Supafuzz






(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 3:13:32 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
Hell, I have had paying membership on Alt.com.  Ok, it simply did not work for me.   To be honest, I've had way better luck with this free website compared to a number of kinky adult pay websites.   I have made way more friends and talked with and interacted with more real people from here.  

Sure there are a number of fakes and crazy people, they are on pay sites as well.  Most pay sites allow for people to create unlimited free profiles or accounts as well.  It's just not a problem with Collarme.com, it's every where.   However, this website allows people to interact freely with one another.   You get a chance to communicate with other people.

You can pay with time and money both on other sites.  personally, it's great to just be able to pay the price of time.   Trust me, you end up pay with both time and money on other sites.

I've also checked out a number of other Free kinky Adult sites as well, they don't seem to hold a candle to this one in my opinion either.   So, I keep on coming back here time and time again.

I recently found somebody that I'm seeing in the real time.  Trust me, it was not from this website.  Actually, I met her through the internet and it was rather unexpected and not through a dating site.   The fact is that I was putting myself out there and who I am out there on a number of levels.

She's anything but vanilla too... Oh yum yum yum..   I don't know how everything is going to turn out.  I'm just so happy at the point with how things are going so far.  There are a number of vanilla girls that have been after me in the real time.   The only reason why I remained single for so long was because I did not find anybody that I was into enough to actually be with.

In many ways Collarme.com is a bit of a time pit for me, but not because of emailing back and fourth with people on the other side.   It's all the time I have spent on the message boards here.   I have killed a lot of time reading and making posts.  However, it's been well worth it for me.   It's allowed me to explore a few things mentally that I would have not otherwise done so.   I've also learned and grown some too.   I have also tried to help some other people as well. 

I really don't view or look at collarme.com as a waste of time.  Even though I have wasted a lot of time, I still have gotten something out of it that I simply never got from the other sites (both free and pay).   

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 3:47:34 AM   
Hauptmann


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline
My minx and I joined this forum after looking at a few others, simply because it seemed frank and honest with genuinely interesting posts from like-minded people. I have not posted much but I have read lots, and enjoyed doing so.

What did take me by surprise is that after saying hello, my little charge got bombarded with messages from people, with clear intent, despite saying on her introduction that she was thoroughly property. I think that is a bit sad on the part of the messagers, and also crazy. Surely the last thing you should do is try to mess with the proprety of someone who is more than likely to be a very nasty individual, and at best a severe control freak?

As for internet dating? I think it doesn't work. Good perhaps for predators; but really, nothing beats finding someone in the real world who you can share a life with.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 4:01:46 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
Of course I deserve to be single, I worked hard for it.

yet, no, I would never pay for a dating site.  The day I have to pay to find a man....uhhg, pathetic.

(in reply to Hauptmann)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 5:23:26 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline
I think people that complain about any facet of their lives, without being willing to do everything in their power to change that thing that bothers them, deserve what they get. 

That being said - I wouldn't pay for a membership, but then I'm mostly here for the boards.  If I were seeking someone and couldn't find other avenues - I might pay for a site, but then I have a few requirements beyond kink that you can't exactly search for on this board.  Happily, that's not really an issue for me.  Oh - and I'm with the people who are saying:  "Hell yes, I deserve to be single.  I went through hell to get here!"

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 5:33:51 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Do you think that people who complain about their inability to find partners - yet, they limit their searching to basically this place (Collarme) - deserve to be single?  Those that don't make an effort to go to munches or parties, don't look in other avenues, don't use other services that may cost money?

Collarme is a free site.  As such, it invites a lot of time wasters -- after all, you can make a profile for free and have all the fun you want and never intend to meet anyone.  If collarme was a pay site, would these people who are complaining pay, or just stop using this site?  Is there something to be said for the willingness to invest (perhaps in another of the personals site that has a pay option, or, through a more vanilla setting with some clever innuendo) money in the search? 

People complain a lot about the search functions here, how there are too many fakes or pros, how people vanish, etc.  Yet, they forget to realize this is a free site - of course, with that, you get an element of waste.  So instead of paying with money, you are paying with time.  How valuable is your time?

Would you be willing to pay $50 a month for a personals service that guaranteed no pros were lurking? No tribute seekers? How about $100?  How about $10?  These are rhetorical questions, but the answers may be interesting.

Do you pay for a personals service (bondage.com, alt, whatever) and if so, are the results considerably better than here?  Do you waste less time there?

If you don't choose to search for partners via other means - parties, munches, etc., what's the reason?

Akasha



i would have to admit to stop using CM if i had to pay not because i don't want to put forth the effort/$$ to find the right Man/Dom for me, but because the paid sites are full of losers as well. i work w/several women who use match.com, eHarmony etc and are NOT happy w/the results so why pay for losers when i can bypass them for free?  i was a paid member of alt.com, but nada.  Everyone isn't a loser on the free sites, after all, we're here!

***Edited to acknowledge that the word "loser" wasn't used, by the OP, merely my interpretation***

< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 2/8/2008 5:34:46 AM >


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(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 5:58:47 AM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline
I pay on match and alt and b.com. I've never met anyone suitable on here actually although one lives in hope. 

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:02:16 AM   
ThunderRoad


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline
One of our greatest frustrations about any online sites are the lack of manners by many people.  If you come to a dating site, then the premise is that you want to meet people.  Maybe nothing comes of it, but by definition you are here because you are at least willing to take that basic risk to see if something can happen.

We've lost count of the number of times we've sent a polite and thoughtful email to someone who says they are looking for the same things we are, only to hear NOTHING back.  No "I'm sorry, not interested" or even a "GO FUCK OFF AND DIE!"  WTF?  That just makes no sense to us.

This site and the others like it are social sites.  Take a moment to socialize and realize that basic manners are required.

We personally met each other via collarme.  We're getting married in August.  It can work, but you have to be willing to talk to people and see what can happen.

*my apologies for a brief mini-rant*

(in reply to parttimehotty)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:03:01 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
no response = no interest

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ThunderRoad)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:09:07 AM   
ThunderRoad


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
no response = no interest


no response = rude

it takes, what, all of four seconds to type "sorry, I'm not interested".

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:13:01 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
Have you ever responded that way to a D-type and then get tons of mail from him trying to convince you?  Best not to go down that pathetic road.  It's not rude to ignore unsolicited email.  Do you respond to every piece of junk mail you recieve?  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ThunderRoad)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:13:04 AM   
fullofgrace69


Posts: 99
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
i wouldnt pay for sites, not cos i disagree with paying for sites, but cos i can't really afford it, or well in another way i'd rather spend my money going to places to meet ppl than paying for online stuff. i think i have a profile on alt.com and i do on ic but i dont use alt really at all in fact dont think ive been on the site in over a year lol. i do go to parties and events though, i go with a huge group of friends who i met through an internet chat room. and its fun. the internet has its place in life i met some of my best friends through it but it can't replace real life and in mho meeting people in the cold light of day is alwys going to be the best way to meet people.
that being said im off on a date tomorrow with a Dom from this here site. so its not all bad lol x

_____________________________


-Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.-

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:20:39 AM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan

Padriag, I am appalled to read that some sites actually charge men for membership, but not women - that is something I hadn't heard of until now. I've heard of some BDSM-related clubs charging men MORE and I've always been of the opinion that I refuse to patron establishments that discriminate on gender.
The reason the sites do this is to make the site more balanced. There are so many more men than women out there...looking, so the sites offer free memberships to bring women onto the site.


Before I came onto cm I was on alt. I didn't like it at all however I did meet a few people from alt, match and aol and attended some wonderful private parties and dungeoned with the friends I made from those sites. AOL was free at the time. I paid for match and was on Harmony. That was a total bust! 
I really like cm. I've met about 35 people from this site, had a ton of fun playing, making good friends, and that's where I keep my focus: Friends. I am not actively looking for a mate because I would want to be great friends with my SO first, before we create a long term relationship. I don't expect to 'fall in love' here, although if that magical relationship happens from my participation here, all the better.
 
My main purpose for coming to cm was to have my 'coming out party' and I have enjoyed it immensely. 
 
Going to munches, attending a 'Spank' three day party in my area, dungeoning with friends, being served by subs in my home, going to seminars, and also doing vanilla things with like-minded people has been a blossoming experience for me in every way.
 
I would pay for a really good site, however I don't see a need to do that. I feel at home on cm...
 
ps: OmegaG I loved your quote!
'Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris '



< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 2/8/2008 6:30:52 AM >

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:25:05 AM   
ThunderRoad


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Have you ever responded that way to a D-type and then get tons of mail from him trying to convince you?  Best not to go down that pathetic road.  It's not rude to ignore unsolicited email.  Do you respond to every piece of junk mail you recieve?  


So some bad experiences means you should be rude to the rest that are respectful to the word "no"?  You can block people, and if they won't take no for an answer, click the one button to do that.

And yes, we always respond.  We get many emails from submissive men, dispite our profile saying we aren't interested.  We simply say "Thanks for your interest, but we don't share it".  At least it brings closure to the person that was willing to go out on a limb.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:27:17 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
I don't care if you always respond.  I don't respond to people unless I want to.  It's not rude.  I also toss out unsolicited junk mail.  Because that's what it is....junk.  It's not my job to give a stranger closure.  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ThunderRoad)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: You deserve to be single - 2/8/2008 6:30:17 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
Sending an email to some one you don't know is not going out on a limb. This is the net. You might wanna get over it

Jeff

(in reply to ThunderRoad)
Profile   Post #: 60
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