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It's not my job to give a stranger closure.

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't care if you always respond.  I don't respond to people unless I want to.  It's not rude.  I also toss out unsolicited junk mail.  Because that's what it is....junk.  It's not my job to give a stranger closure.  

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't care if you always respond.  I don't respond to people unless I want to.  It's not rude.  I also toss out unsolicited junk mail.  Because that's what it is....junk.  It's not my job to give a stranger closure.  

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I think this is another example of your Just World perspective: aka that people get what they deserve and that anyone who fails is either flawed or not working hard enough.

What's next:

"You deserve to be unemployed..."

"You deserve to be fat...."

Those of us safely on the sidelines can always issue high minded prescriptions to those with troubles. The question is, are we really helping anyone?

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

People who just can't let something go definitely do deserve to be single.

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ORIGINAL: Skully7000
I agree its not your job to give closure but I also do not kid myself that it is In fact being rude. You are an adult and it is up to you to decide if you will feel any guilt towards it or not. I'm certainly not going to loose sleep knowing you are being rude.
with that said: I will throw my reasons/criteria for why I do or do not reply to the amount of messages.

Like you I do not reply to JUNK. but what is junk? one liners, people who don't read a profile, people who can't follow a simple instruction as a matter of courtesy. basically all the things that people bitch about all over the boards. that to me is Junk and no I don't reply to that. if someone cant be bothered to send me a proper message I won't be bothered to send a proper reply.
Alternativly, ANYONE who sends me a well written message is respectful shows even the slightest hint at reading my profile will get a response. Because even if i'm not interested I hope it encourages them to continue being polite and respectful and putting the time into a proper message. if you just flat out ignore the response people get disenchanted and start sending out bulk cookie cutter messages.
the whole idea of encouraging quality over quantity.

Perhaps i'm a little idealistic. but i would rather be Idealistic then jaded. I'm relatively young and if I don't try to keep the jadedness at bay I will be one damned crotchety old guy.

Cheers
Skully

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ORIGINAL: Redoubt

Fast reply: Until you are happy being single, then you really don't have anything to offer a partner, no matter how you find them.

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy


"You deserve to be unemployed..."

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Do you think that people who complain about their inability to find partners - yet, they limit their searching to basically this place (Collarme) - deserve to be single?  Those that don't make an effort to go to munches or parties, don't look in other avenues, don't use other services that may cost money?

Collarme is a free site.  As such, it invites a lot of time wasters -- after all, you can make a profile for free and have all the fun you want and never intend to meet anyone.  If collarme was a pay site, would these people who are complaining pay, or just stop using this site?  Is there something to be said for the willingness to invest (perhaps in another of the personals site that has a pay option, or, through a more vanilla setting with some clever innuendo) money in the search? 

People complain a lot about the search functions here, how there are too many fakes or pros, how people vanish, etc.  Yet, they forget to realize this is a free site - of course, with that, you get an element of waste.  So instead of paying with money, you are paying with time.  How valuable is your time?

Would you be willing to pay $50 a month for a personals service that guaranteed no pros were lurking? No tribute seekers? How about $100?  How about $10?  These are rhetorical questions, but the answers may be interesting.

Do you pay for a personals service (bondage.com, alt, whatever) and if so, are the results considerably better than here?  Do you waste less time there?

If you don't choose to search for partners via other means - parties, munches, etc., what's the reason?

Akasha

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Do you think that people who complain about their inability to find partners - yet, they limit their searching to basically this place (Collarme) - deserve to be single? Those that don't make an effort to go to munches or parties, don't look in other avenues, don't use other services that may cost money?