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TheMinder -> RE: Do Men understand Women? (2/12/2008 7:19:46 PM)
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Not a hope in hell! At times I'm convinced that men and women are two entirely different species because they think so differently. However (there's always a 'however' isn't there) men and women can understand that the other sex will react differently to stimuli than they themselves would, or that they themselves would understand.
Our brains are wired differently and our hormones are different. These are not insignificant differences, they are monumental and colour our perspective of everything around us. The best we can do is to recognise these differences and be prepared for the unexpected. I'll give you a for instance.
Along time ago, I was in an intimate situation with my girlfriend and I found a lump in her breast; it was malignant. Long story cut short, she had a lumpechtomy (sp), chemo and all the other treatments, plus some absolutely amazing support from her girl friends ('girl' and 'friends' deliberately separated). My concern was for her health and her well being and I rejoiced when the surgeon advised us that 'they got it all'. She was distraught, not by the cancer or the possibility of her death, but that now she had one breast that looked different to the other... her 'womaness' was somehow diminished. Needless to say, I tread lightly during this difficult time even though I was having difficulty with her reasoning and emotions.
Several months later we were again being intimate and I caressed her breasts, both of them. She burst out crying! FFS girl, what did I do wrong? It turns out that I did nothing wrong and in fact did everything right. She was scared shitless that her diminished womaness would guarantee that no man would ever be intimate with her again. My touching her breast was, in her words, 'the best therapy she could have received'. From my perspective, I didn't care if she had two boobs, one, or none. I was ecstatic she was alive and well. But from her perspective, it was much deeper than that, much more psychological and much more emotional.
Now I consider myself to be fairly astute and perhaps understanding of women, certainly better than most males... but this girl's reactions sent me for a loop and in hindsight I don't think her reactions were out of the norm for any girl in her position.
The thing is, understanding a reaction after the even IS possible, however predicting a reaction prior to an event/stimuli is not so certain. Ahhh grasshopper, life and women are mysteries. Just paddle their butts and get on with it!
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