FLButtSlut
Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
No. It means that we have consented to that kind of dynamic. I haven't consented to that dramatic a dynamic, but if I chose to do so, it would be my -choice- not because I feel I am inferior, but because I believe that as an intelligent, thinking person I have the right to live my life in the way that will fufill me.
And that is my question, within your "dynamic" is it not possible that your master could ever be wrong?
quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
Because they live a different power dynamic than we do, and because they are experience it from a different angle. LIke it or not, the world looks -very- different from the d side and the s side. To the tops, they are seeing things as they would from their own motivations--why they would tell their bottoms to do soemthing. The bottoms see it as if they are being told to do something, and how they would react within their dynamic.
Interesting point, but sometimes it is a great deal more helpful AND more logical not to look at things from the viewpoint of your chosen position in the dynamic, but rather from your position as a human being. I didn't look at this much from the position of being submissive but rather from the position that something seemed "wrong" on a human level. Quite frankly, if being an owned submissive meant that I was only able to look at things from one viewpoint, I would probably walk away forever. On the other hand, not everyone is capable of looking at things objectively from all sides and trying to reach a logical deduction of what is occuring.
quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
Having read everything the OP's said about her situation, I definatly think she was in the right, and that her partner wasn't thinking through what he decided to do. But still looking at it from the possition of someone receiving orders, my reactions remain the same--that this person is misguided and not going about things the right way, but is not evil, nor abusive, nor bad. That there are some communication problems happening (that were resolved by the end of this thread) but that he did something he -though- was his right, through his own missunderstanding of the relationship, and didn't bother to clarify it.
We can only agree on one point here. I don't believe that her now former master is evil, abusive or bad. But this was not simply a man who was behaving in a misguided way. Let me try to use an example that perhaps makes more sense to you, and we are going to make some "assumptions" for the sake of the example. I have no clue the real situation you have in this regard, I'm just making some assumptions that will make sense in the example.
You and your master have discussed how you would love to have children, how in fact you really can't wait. During those conversations, though, he has said that he really feels it is better that you do wait, and you, being a good sub/slave accept that, perhaps even as a young woman see that he is probably right, you should finish school, etc. One day, he starts "hinting" that perhaps he is ready to start that family you desire so much. He begins saying how you should stop using any birth control and the two of you should start working on getting you pregnant. You are deleriously happy with this because you want a family and it would be so wonderful to have one with him. In reality, he has really begun to question whether or not he wants to ever be a father and whether or not he would ever want to have children with YOU. He never tells you this, but continues to make you believe that the two of you are going to start building a family together, something you desperately want.
Then you find out the truth of the matter because he has reached the conclusion that he really would never want you to be the mother of his children and doesn't believe that he could ever be a father. So he has conducted this little "misguided" experiment which has made you deleriously happy because it is something you wanted, only because he had a feeling you just weren't the type he would want for a mother for his children that he really doesn't want anyway.
This is simply "misguided"? Not communicating this with you his doubts from the start was misguided. However, knowing full well how you felt about this issue, and then playing on those emotions when he knew that in all likelihood he didn't want it, but just wanted to "see" is not misguided. This does not fall into the realm of "mind fuck" to play with something like that only for your own purpose.
That is what this guy did. He completely disregarding the OP's feelings here, trying to make her believe that he felt she had issues with her looks or undealt with issues with her illness when the issues were his alone. Not communicating that was misguided. Trying to make HIS issues her fault is not misguided, it is cruel, immature, and dishonest.
I understand how your power dynamic works (for the most part), and it is great to put your trust in him. But sometimes you can't look at something from the point of being a sub/slave, you need to look at it from the point of being human and sensing something wrong and respond accordingly. Yes, there were issues with communication and perhaps you or others here could forgive that and move on. But if your master was dishonest with you about something so deeply personal, could you just forgive, chalk it up to a mistake and have the same trust moving forward?
quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
I imagine your perspective is much different as a giver of orders versus being a taker of them.
My perspective is much different because I see myself and others as human beings first. As for the rest of your mildly veiled insult, I both give and take orders in my life. I just have the intelligence to not take orders blindly when they look basely wrong. I don't blindly follow the orders of a man who I think is acting without the proper knowledge to make such decisions, and I have the common sense to question it when it happens. Of course, even though I am a sub, I have the responsibility of another life that counts on me, so I have to be able to look at something from an objective, rather than subjective perspective for the benefit of all involved. I'm terribly sorry that you find it so offensive that as a sub I regularly think for myself and make decisions without consultation of others. Luckily for me and the people in my life, I am able to do that since it is what keeps a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. Most people just call that being a grown up.
|
RE: makeup or no makeup - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread