Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

By luck or by design


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> By luck or by design Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 4:20:17 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes after reading these boards I appreciate m'Lord more then I did when I started.  I can't say he's a unique person as I am sure that people like him just don't get talked about, but ours is a drama free interaction and he is mostly resonsible for that as he makes sure there is always time and effort put into communication.

He also is wonderful when it comes to introducing new ideas to me, he does so with words before actions and he lets me take the time to let them marinate, but he also lets me know (depending on the idea) that if it doesn't sit well with me then he's going to be OK with that.

Now lest you think that I started this post ONLY to brag about him, I often get told that I am lucky to have such a man (by the vanilla folk to which makes me giggle sometimes).  That I really hit the jackpot with him or any other euphanism that suggests that I was an inactive participent in my life.

So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 4:33:19 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I think its a bit of both, you have to MEET the right people, that in itself is quite a feat, I find that lots of people fall into cycles, they see themselves being with a type of person and actually that type of person doesnt fit what they actually need, this is very true of my past quasi-relationships, poitn out someone with loads of problems and id be there right away declaring undying love.

Once you have broken through whatever messed up cycle you may get yourself into and find someone who is good for you, yeah it takes work, there is no such thing as happy ever after. Unfortunatly we live in a society built on the ideals of instant gratification, if something doesnt work try a new one, give up, plenty more fish, people run at the first hurdle.

BTW I know there are a fair few relationships on here that you can tell from the posts are equally soild but congrats on having it for yourself.


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 6:39:57 PM   
HopeLost


Posts: 80
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline 		i think finding the person you mesh well with is luck. to keep this relationship going is design.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 7:10:31 PM   
littlebitxxx


Posts: 732
Status: offline 		Firstly, congrats omega on your happiness.  My answer would be "somewhere in between".  It's usually dumb luck that you find each other and then hard work and perseverence to stay together.  Enjoy!

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 8:01:14 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Notice my screen name?  HUGE streak of luck for us in so many ways.

But hard work is part of it too.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to littlebitxxx)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 8:04:53 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I've never felt that I'm particularly lucky,  It's usually my experience that I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time or asked for the wrong thing.

But then I get that it takes luck to actually be in the right place at the right time and just happen to say the right thing, but on the other hand it seems to take alot of work to get to the point where you can be lucky.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 8:09:31 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?


We met by fate or dumb luck, whatever one believes in.  We had instant chemistry.  And we both put in a great deal of effort to create something as fulfilling as it is to us.  I had a lot of work to do on myself, and we both evolved to expand our minds and creativity and boundaries.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 8:15:06 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		i agree it takes luck to find the right people and design to keep a good thing going.

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.


http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 10:19:32 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?


Omega, speaking for myself, I believe a "good" relationship, actually any relationship be it a friend, parent, lover, ect... takes work  Communication, compromise, trust.... my list goes on and on.

It is my belief that individuals are brought together for a reason... a purpose... whatever it may be. 

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 10:22:00 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I've always been very upfront about my program in life-and I DO actually make compromises.

Some of it is luck in finding someone who understands with an open mind (which is very rare)

The other is being vivid enough in expression to give them an unclouded window into your internal landscape.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: By luck or by design - 3/13/2008 10:31:23 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		I think for us we both happened to be at the right place at the right time in our lives to truly appreciate and grow with one another.  We are both at the end of a long string of incresingly weird and difficult relationships, and this has been like a vacation to tropical island that never ends.  Now if it would just warm the hell up!

It's great that people are happy and willing to express it.  Congratulations on your happiness.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 3:13:13 AM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?


If great relationships could be had by design and hard work and clear heads alone there would be a lot more great relationships in the world. The fact that you have a great relationship is a testament that you are able to have one (not everyone is). The fact that you met someone that you work so well with and vice versa with all of the candidates available out there involves a fair amount of serendipity. I think it takes a mix of both for success.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 3:32:40 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I don't know - this is my second post this week that makes me sound gooey.  Maybe my 'flu is having an effect!
  • I believe that people are fated to meet.
  • I believe it takes luck for that to happen.
  • I believe it takes hard work to make sure that luck occurs and hard work to assist in it's continuation to fullfil it's destiny.

 
</gooiness>

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 3/14/2008 3:33:20 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 7:26:19 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		It was luck that Master and i met it is love and work that keeps us going.  2 years and still going strong.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 7:42:54 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HopeLost

i think finding the person you mesh well with is luck. to keep this relationship going is design.


I agree with Hope. I met my Mistress by pure chance. I was attending a seminar for work and had forgotten a pen. I walked up to the first person I saw and borrowed one. Guess who it was?

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to HopeLost)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 8:29:07 AM   
topIrishsubm


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		I think most successful things in life are a combination of luck and effort. By doing the hard work we sometimes put ourselves into a position to make most of our good fortune.  Gary Player, the famous South African golfer, once said “ The harder you work, the luckier you get.”

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 8:30:07 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Sometimes after reading these boards I appreciate m'Lord more then I did when I started.  I can't say he's a unique person as I am sure that people like him just don't get talked about, but ours is a drama free interaction and he is mostly resonsible for that as he makes sure there is always time and effort put into communication

I know exactly what you mean, OmegaG.  I appreciate Master anyway but, after reading about so much drama and lack of communication, it never fails to make me appreciate even further what I really do have in Him.
quote:

I often get told that I am lucky to have such a man (by the vanilla folk to which makes me giggle sometimes).  That I really hit the jackpot with him or any other euphanism that suggests that I was an inactive participent in my life

I get the same thing from "vanilla" family, coworkers and friends.  I KNOW how "lucky" I am, believe me.  Except....I really don't believe in "luck" at all.  I consider it being "blessed," not lucky.
quote:

So how often do you think that good relationships are sheer dumb luck and how often do you think that they are by design and by hard work and clear heads?

As others have said, I feel it's a mixture of chance and determination.  We continue to be absolutely amazed that we were able to connect as we did from so far away when neither of us were really actively searching.  It was as if it were destined which we believe it was.  However, AFTER this destined meeting occurred, it only became what it has due to our determination and commitment to make it so.  I have a proven track record of choosing partners very bad for me and it has taken active work on my part to decide that this time I wanted better for myself and then commit myself to having it and enjoying it.

So, I guess I said all that to say this:  It was a matter of chance, luck, destiny or whatever you choose to call it INITIALLY.  Once the meeting occurred, it was all about choosing to pursue it and commitment to making it work................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 8:36:24 AM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		As other's here have said, i believe it takes all of the things you mentioned.  i know with my first and only (failed) marriage i worked harder than i thought possible to try and make it work.  Obviously it was not enough.  ;-)  

Meeting someone you mesh with, feel a strong bond and connection with is important, that takes a bit of luck right there, making it last is what takes a bit of work, clear minds, and a willingness to stick through any rough patches to find the way through the mud together.

~shutting up and grabbing more coffee~ 

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 8:57:25 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		FR

I almost deleted this before I hit post, after I'd typed as I was wondering what the outcome would be.  I'm glad I didn't.  Thanks for all the input!

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: By luck or by design - 3/14/2008 10:16:44 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I met my male sub in an online game when I wasn't seeking a sub. I saw his avatar name and thought it was wierd, so I sent him an IM to ask what it meant. We've been together for 4 years now.

As he said it had to have been fate because the chances that two people with the chemistry and similar interests that we share are pretty darned low. I love this man very much and whatever brought us together (if anything my curiousity), we are both thankful for.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> By luck or by design Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.092