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A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:17:42 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/14/2008
From: New York
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Greetings,
I am new to this forum and read through alot of the posts and found alot of very useful information from some very insightful members. I thought this forum would be a great place to get some much needed answers. Here goes...

My question to you is, what are the responsibilities of a Master? I have searched the net for these last few months and I seem to only find examples, both general and very detailed, of the role and responsibilites of a slave, but there doesn't seem to be any clear descriptions of what is expected of a Master. In my opinion, a Master should take care of His slave just as well as a slave does her Master. (Obviously, in different ways.) Am I wrong? The role of a slave can be difficult, both emotionally and physically. Isn't it the responsibility of a Master to care for his slave as he would any other prized possession? You can love your car and ride it fast and hard but you have to take the time to repair any damage you may cause to it, and also make sure you keep up on regular maintenance that it will need to run properly, correct?

Being humiliated, punished ( or corrected, however you might like to see it ), emotionally cut down at the knees, etc, comes with the responsibility of being a slave, and long treatment in such a way could cause emotional or physical scarring if a slave is not properly cared for. Let's face it, we are human, not robots. We have feelings and physical limits, and while a good slave strives to exceed her physical limits to please her Master, and swallows her humiliation and takes it as a lesson learned to better please Him in the future, do we not deserve to be appreciated or treated with kindness when deserved? Or are slaves only possessions, inanimate, like a car? Something to be used and expected to function properly when needed?

So, my question to you all, is how does a Master best care for his slave and her needs? If this question has already been addressed in a post I may have missed, I would appreciate someone taking the time to give me a link so I may go there and learn what I can, and my apologies for the repeat in topic.

I hope this post was worth reading for you all, and any help/advice in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:29:52 AM

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From: Santa Rosa
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this is a really great post!!!! and i for one am looking forward
reading the replies.

id like to add that as a sub/f, i really like cars, and driving fast,
and i always do my best to be sure my cars are running as well
as possible!!!!
ask my daddy if ya dont believe me ;)

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*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

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(in reply to Glenin)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:33:26 AM

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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Simply put, I care for all she needs...training, attention, pleasure, an arm around her, a friend, a man, a listening ear.
For me that is not different from an other relation, besides she serving me.

_____________________________

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(in reply to domahpet)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:42:13 AM

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Joined: 3/14/2008
From: New York
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haha!
your post made me smile domahpet:D
im also a car girl :P

@justme696

Thank you for your reply. I don't often see a Master so generous. ( except mine of course haha. I am very lucky) Mostly I see Men who want the title but aren't willing to live up to the responsibilites of owning a slave.

(in reply to domahpet)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:44:53 AM

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good care leads to good service... ;)
And I take only girls I like..so actually it is easy

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(in reply to Glenin)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:46:42 AM

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Joined: 3/14/2008
From: New York
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"good care leads to good service"
hah! well put

(in reply to Justme696)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:52:06 AM

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Joined: 1/10/2006
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Your question is quite a large one. Even if answered in generalities it would take quite a long time to answer.

So first be aware that meeting her needs is the largest and probably the hardest of all of our responsibilities of a Master. I do subcribe to the school of thought that she has more value then anything I own and so her wellbeing and happiness is very important to me.

I found and altered a list of bdsm activities that are to be rated and shared by both Dom and sub. These will give you an idea about her and your needs for the Life itself. Nothing though substitutes for you listening and watching her, hell actually studing her, to find out what she doesn't even know she wants or can't put it into words.

Open and frank discussion about your life together is a constant need to be sure she is prepared for what you want. Most submissives want to please their Dom so invest your time telling her about some of the things you wish to do with and too her, given some time she will adjust to most of them and be willing to go where you wish her to.

Remember that she is giving you her body and mind to trust and care for. You set the rules so think carefully about them and the effect each will have on her and you.

(in reply to Glenin)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:56:21 AM

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Joined: 2/9/2008
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Your question is A CRUCIAL ONE. BEWARE of abusers. I just went through a Master from hell. He hit me. If you want to be treated like a spec of dirt, find a master who will physically assault you and call it: Discipline. Yay, whatever. If you want to be valued as a sub that is trying hard to please your Master, find a Master who does not abuse you. Master's who hit are brutes. Stay away if you don't want your esteem going south. So many doms here and other online forums who think you will let them bark commands at you after one email. I would not do that in person and I surely would not do that on line. It is strange for us to be looking on line where else can people like us look. I know I should go find something that is local but the thought of going somewhere alone scares me. Watch out for what you ask for. A slave you have no voice in anything unless he allows you to have one. The slave's only choice, after deciding that this person is her Master, is to obey or disobey.

If you get abused or belittled, really begin to think if your self-respect is worth him.

Whatever happens, decide in advance as much as possible.

And, good luck.

(in reply to SirRussellP)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:56:38 AM

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From: New York
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This is an example of the kind of answers I have been looking for. Thank you, truly. You were more than helpful.

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(in reply to SirRussellP)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 11:57:10 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glenin

Isn't it the responsibility of a Master to care for his slave as he would any other prized possession? You can love your car and ride it fast and hard but you have to take the time to repair any damage you may cause to it, and also make sure you keep up on regular maintenance that it will need to run properly, correct?

I wonder if the slaves market is saturated to the point where slaves have lost all monetary value, so that they're constantly being compared to cars. A car??? WTF. Surely, a slave's a much more important possession than a car

?

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(in reply to Glenin)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:01:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Simply put, I care for all she needs...training, attention, pleasure, an arm around her, a friend, a man, a listening ear.
For me that is not different from an other relation, besides she serving me.

I agree, its like any relationship, and no two people need the same thing, im a sub so I dont know if im allowed to answer it but oh well, as with any relationship its about communication and knowing what the other person needs, there seems to often be an assumption that the Dominant is getting the better part of the deal which is a pile of crap its simply differant oriantations, i dont measure it in terms of who is worth more or anything there of course is the power dynamic but both parties get many of their needs met by that power dynamic. Its a case of knowing your partner, knowing how to cheer them up, how to talk to them, how to make them laugh, thats no differant from nilla. What one s type needs another may hate so there cant really be generalisations in that regard.

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(in reply to Justme696)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:03:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glenin

Isn't it the responsibility of a Master to care for his slave as he would any other prized possession? You can love your car and ride it fast and hard but you have to take the time to repair any damage you may cause to it, and also make sure you keep up on regular maintenance that it will need to run properly, correct?

I wonder if the slaves market is saturated to the point where slaves have lost all monetary value, so that they're constantly being compared to cars. A car??? WTF. Surely, a slave's a much more important possession than a car ?

eh eh depends on the car doesnt it, id trade a slave for a nice porsha :P

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to kittinSol)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:05:29 PM

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Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
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I had something long and thoughtful written out and promptly lost it.. so I'll just put in a plug for the Master - slave Conf in DC in the summer and suggest that because of its bent toward relationship based workshops.. it might help with this...

(in reply to colouredin)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:05:51 PM

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Joined: 3/14/2008
From: New York
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Great answer!
While hitting doesn't bother me, in fact there aren't many physical abuses I can think of that would destroy me emotionally, the EMOTIONAL abuse is something a slave should be concerned about. When I asked how does a Master care for his slave, the emotional care was in the fromt of my mind. Being called a whore, or being told I am worthless is something I am used to and at times even deserve haha, but I am also told how much I am loved and appreciated. For that I am very lucky, to have a Master as kind as mine. The reason i asked in the first place was actually to help me understand what to expect and how to take care of myself where Master may not be able to or want to.

so thank you again :)

_____________________________

"Remember, Remember the 5th of November"

" when love cast me out it was cruelty who took pity on me"

(in reply to hellosmoooo)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:06:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

eh eh depends on the car doesnt it, id trade a slave for a nice porsha :P

Ah! You confirmed my point: slaves are worth fuck all, on the open market, considering the quality of the product, the number of years it takes to hone their skills, their good looks and endurance... Even a Porsche couldn't compete with all these qualities, but you think it's worth more... blood hell

.

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RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:09:10 PM

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Joined: 3/14/2008
From: New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

I had something long and thoughtful written out and promptly lost it..

haha i do that all the time -.-

_____________________________

"Remember, Remember the 5th of November"

" when love cast me out it was cruelty who took pity on me"

(in reply to Madame4a)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:11:16 PM

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

eh eh depends on the car doesnt it, id trade a slave for a nice porsha :P

Ah! You confirmed my point: slaves are worth fuck all, on the open market, considering the quality of the product, the number of years it takes to hone their skills, their good looks and endurance... Even a Porsche couldn't compete with all these qualities, but you think it's worth more... blood hell .

well by the time a slave is fully trained and worth anything all their looks have gone anyways and they again are worth nothing, least a porsche doesnt start to sag :P

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to kittinSol)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:18:00 PM

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From: St George Utah
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Okay since not many people have posted to this yet I feel that I can be rather broad and not have a bunch of people thinking I am talking down about them or what not.

First off all of this is my own opinion and due to that I am sure that I will be far from some and closer to others as always your mileage may vary.

Okay Ownership and Dominance and Mastership are not always the same thing, personally I see all activities the same way however I know many people who define these things differently so I will try my best to keep these ideals seperate from a defined concept and try to place it in the realm of What it is that I do.

I am stern and I expect a LOT from my slave. I live by the belief that there are two options I can never take away from my slave and that is the choice to Obey what is expected of her or the choice to Leave me.

Now I am not a cocky prick and I like LONG TERM so demanding meaningless crap will only push a slave to her limits and possibly as has been stated cause unneeded mental stress which will lead to lack of trust for Doms in the Future. I know it happens ALL the time I really don't understand why because I don't see a point in making someone mistrust everyone else after you, how much damage do you need to do to one person? So I spend the time before the collar showing her what being with me means. I show her the Good and the Bad. I Try VERY HARD to always be myself no matter what so that at no time can she ask "Where did this come from?" Any complaint she may have about me is something I have done and always will do because it is who I am. I Show her the romance which I enjoy and the things that others find romantic that I do not enjoy. I Show her my Pickyness and I show her the things I don't give a shit about. But Mostly I show her that I am always there for her.

My Responsibility to my slave is that I will be STABLE! That I am what I am all the time. That I will remain to her what I have always been. Should we GROW it will always be Together not Apart. I see a Collar as a Bond that is akin to how some still view Marriage. It is a commitment to take the other as your PERMANENT MATE!!!!! Again this is MY persoanl views you do not have to agree just know that this is how I see this bond. In MANY cases I believe that The desire to be Kinky is Dwarved by the need to maintain the commitment. When my girl is overworked and in need of being taken care of it is my responsibility to care for her, but then again it is also my responsibility to push her to higher levels at times so just because she feels over worked does not always mean she gets to be pampered.

My Responsibilities are Omnipresent and Ever Changing. To me the sign that I am doing my Job comes from how rarely I have to correct or pamper her. I see it this way because if I am holding up my responsibilities she is never doing anything that is beyond her abilities and I am not useing her too hard.

You see when you abuse the commitment of a submissive you are only causing youself problems.

Using the Car Example in a way I want to express the issue of over using a submissive.

If I have my girl clean the entire house with a toothbrush and only give her an hour to do it and I know the house is filthy then she will be pushing herself so hard in that hour that she will be drained when the hour is up and even more than that the house will still not be cleaned and so she has failed in her duty. So What was the point in having her do it that way? I set her up to fail and now she is spent and in trouble. This feeling does not end there it carries on into the next day and the next day untill the sub wonder why try to do anything because she can't do it right. You as the Dominant see her failing over and over and over and so you keep trying to correct the problem rather than just taking the time to discover why the things are not being done and be willing to relax the expectations, with the undestanding that you will be working on getting back up to par but figuring out how to do it more efficently.

In the Car refference, If I slow down the drive of the car it performs better, and with a little work I can fix the car up to be even faster without having to push it so hard.

My Responsibility to my slave is that she is MY responsibility COMPLETELY. If I want something from her I need to give her the drive to do it.

With the Obey or Leave refference I show her How things will be and then I show her how I will be, I eventually UP what is expected of her so that the desier to STAY with me is stronger than the desier to NOT do what I am asking of her.

My Responsibility to my slave is to create a Balance so that we BOTH get what we need out of the relationship.

As Always

Steel

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(in reply to SirRussellP)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:22:39 PM

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Joined: 2/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hellosmoooo

Your question is A CRUCIAL ONE. BEWARE of abusers. I just went through a Master from hell. He hit me. If you want to be treated like a spec of dirt, find a master who will physically assault you and call it: Discipline. Yay, whatever. If you want to be valued as a sub that is trying hard to please your Master, find a Master who does not abuse you. Master's who hit are brutes. Stay away if you don't want your esteem going south. So many doms here and other online forums who think you will let them bark commands at you after one email. I would not do that in person and I surely would not do that on line. It is strange for us to be looking on line where else can people like us look. I know I should go find something that is local but the thought of going somewhere alone scares me. Watch out for what you ask for. A slave you have no voice in anything unless he allows you to have one. The slave's only choice, after deciding that this person is her Master, is to obey or disobey.

If you get abused or belittled, really begin to think if your self-respect is worth him.

Whatever happens, decide in advance as much as possible.

And, good luck.

Certainly physical abuse affects your emotions and can cause you to loose your self-esteem and self-respect. Knock you down, lift you up, knock you down, lift you up [......................].

(in reply to hellosmoooo)

RE: A Question for the Masters - 3/14/2008 12:23:45 PM

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Joined: 8/4/2005
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A Master has the responsibility to help the sub grow and learn. He has to learn her needs and fears. He has to give rewards and punishment as needed. Most of all he has to respect her. (No real DOM can enjoy dominating someone he does not respect.) He must protect and care for her. He has to make sure she understands that her submission is precious to him. She must know that she is safe with him. She must know that she will receive after care when nescessary. To be more specific is difficult bercause each relationship is different, and each DOM and sub have different needs.

(in reply to colouredin)

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