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RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 4:41:05 AM

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

All kidding aside, it does at times amaze me how silly some of the profiles of men are, of course they probably read mine and think "what a poseur"...

gotta love a man with a fine sense of sarcasm.

perhaps, find a woman who you can be friends with first.

Perhaps my profile is too serious.
Perhaps the person whom would be best for me is completly different.

i still stand by my assertion. you should find someone you can be a friend with. i deliberately put in my profile that i'm not looking for anybody. it stops those with an agenda from writing to me. i don't want to be part of someone's agenda. i want friends. what happens after that.....

perhaps that's a bit too vanilla for some people here, but, it's worked for me to date, on and off this particular board.

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

(in reply to liketophoto)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 7:16:02 AM

Posts: 763
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

All kidding aside, it does at times amaze me how silly some of the profiles of men are, of course they probably read mine and think "what a poseur"...

gotta love a man with a fine sense of sarcasm.

perhaps, find a woman who you can be friends with first.

Perhaps my profile is too serious.
Perhaps the person whom would be best for me is completly different.

i still stand by my assertion. you should find someone you can be a friend with. i deliberately put in my profile that i'm not looking for anybody. it stops those with an agenda from writing to me. i don't want to be part of someone's agenda. i want friends. what happens after that.....

perhaps that's a bit too vanilla for some people here, but, it's worked for me to date, on and off this particular board.

2nd paragraph from my profile...
Looking for friends and play partner(s).
Looking for Dominants, Switches, slaves and or submissives for friends, and/or play partner(s)

Fact is, I don't get unsolicited CM e-mails, I think it is just who I am and I can change a few words in my profile but I can't change who I am.
Respectfully, LTP

(in reply to KMsAngel)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 8:59:53 AM

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterOfMyRealm

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

MOMR: Well I'm impressed with a guy who can use the word "pique" correctly.

Cali

I can even use it in a sentence. :) Thank you.

Love your avatar pic and the first line of your sig, CalifChick.

So, after writing this I decided to update my own profile and take a new pic of myself with my webcam. What I didn't realize is that by replacing my original, default pic that it would go back into the "needs approval" state. That was smart, eh? Anybody interested, check back in a day or so or email me and I'll send you something g-rated and cute. :)

I guess that's another lesson (at least for me). Don't update your original picture until new ones are approved.

-David

Hi David,

It doesn't matter how many photos you have, changing the main photo will cause all of your photos to be hidden until the main photo is approved.

As for your comment about a webcam photo: Look at the next two photos, and tell me which girl you would be more interested in writing.

Girl 1

Girl 2

Webcam pictures are barely better than nothing. The better your main profile picture is, the higher the chances of being noticed and written or responded to. When people read your mail, your main picture is at the bottom. Even if the emails interesting, if they see a blurry ugly webcam pic below it, you're not making as good of a first impression as you could be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

All kidding aside, it does at times amaze me how silly some of the profiles of men are, of course they probably read mine and think "what a poseur"...

gotta love a man with a fine sense of sarcasm.

perhaps, find a woman who you can be friends with first.

Perhaps my profile is too serious.
Perhaps the person whom would be best for me is completly different.

i still stand by my assertion. you should find someone you can be a friend with. i deliberately put in my profile that i'm not looking for anybody. it stops those with an agenda from writing to me. i don't want to be part of someone's agenda. i want friends. what happens after that.....

perhaps that's a bit too vanilla for some people here, but, it's worked for me to date, on and off this particular board.

Nope, it's neither 'too vanilla' nor a bad approach. With over 7000 posts, I'd say you've had ample time to demonstrate to one degree or another who you are and what you're like on the message board.

Unisex advice: "Just looking for friends" is great.... unless that's about the extent of what you have. If you post a fair bit about yourself, you make it easier for others reading your profile to determine if they do, in fact, want a friend like you.

Stephan

< Message edited by Stephann -- 3/24/2008 9:02:36 AM >

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MasterOfMyRealm)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 10:11:57 AM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

You know, i've actually seen profiles in which the man does nothing but bitch about how all the women here are fake, bitches or gay..yeah THAT makes me want to read on.

I agree that the boards are a great place to get to know what a man is like. There have been times when a profile didn't peak my interest or i thought the man wasn't right for me until i saw some of their posts on the boards.

And guys if you remember nothing else: cockshots and starting your email off with a command to submit will get you nowhere...at least with me. Show me you're interested in me as a person before you go all dommy. The only person i'm going to submit to is my Master...

Great post Stephann. This should be required reading.

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 2:55:23 PM

Posts: 13
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

I don't have my pic posted here because of my job. I understand the limitations it puts on me with the visual male and I accept them. I do get several email but I am not like one of the earlier women posters who said she had a hundred unopened email. I admit to have trolled the pic file but only for a time waster not as a prerequisite kind of thing. I will answer a male profile that has no pic because I understand the need for discretion. But I too despise the very short grunts of email and then the ensuing whining and challenging that I don't have the decency to respond... well have the decency to string a couple of sentences together.

When it comes to the odds for men if they insist on whining about it I recommend that they go to match.com where the odds tend to be in the reverse.

I also appreciate the profile filled out a bit just for some commonality.... I have filled mine out and am working on updating it.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 5:23:31 PM

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubyrain

I don't have my pic posted here because of my job. I understand the limitations it puts on me with the visual male and I accept them.

To be fair, I think this is a short-term loss and a long-term gain if you have compelling reasons not to post your photo. Sometimes a professional position requires a certain level of discretion that you shouldn't violate; likewise, if people are not okay with that, it would be good for you to know that up front so that you can maintain your separation of public and private life. I'd rather not play with someone than play with someone who's going to blow my cover.

I mean, there are people with legitimate reasons for wanting things to remain private. For instance, Eliot Spitzer.

Yeah, I went there.

_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

(in reply to rubyrain)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 8:21:59 PM

Posts: 3183
Joined: 1/31/2004
Status: offline

When a woman wants to be found.... she tend to get found.

(in reply to Real_Trouble)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 8:24:51 PM

Posts: 49
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline

holy crap this thread has grown since I last checked in.

I think it was Sugarchurro that posted about the ration of men to women to real, quality men. That gets an emphatic amen from me.

(in reply to FatDomDaddy)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/24/2008 9:31:42 PM

MasterOfMyRealm

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Hi David,

It doesn't matter how many photos you have, changing the main photo will cause all of your photos to be hidden until the main photo is approved.

As for your comment about a webcam photo: Look at the next two photos, and tell me which girl you would be more interested in writing.

Girl 1

Girl 2

Webcam pictures are barely better than nothing. The better your main profile picture is, the higher the chances of being noticed and written or responded to. When people read your mail, your main picture is at the bottom. Even if the emails interesting, if they see a blurry ugly webcam pic below it, you're not making as good of a first impression as you could be.

Point taken. (both pictures are nice. Aren't they the same person?) Sure, the second one is a much better photograph.

I thought my webcam pics came out ok, and it was a pretty easy way of composing a shot of myself. I don't think they are too blurry. I guess whenever they get put back up people here can decide and let me know if I need to get some better photos.

Thanks,
-David

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/27/2008 1:38:54 PM

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

I'm very late to this thread. In general, Stephan, you wrote a very good analysis. lilsarbon <sp?> wrote something very similar posted on the Ask a Mistress board which received high accolades and got reprinted on my website. I take issue with two things, however, one is your constant use of the word "girl" - as a woman I prefer to be referred to as a woman...maybe the submissives here don't mind, but I do. And I agree with Heidi in that this separating out of trans-women from "biological" women rubs me the wrong way. But other than those two issues, what you said made sense...however, your target audience is not likely to read it. Maybe you should consider emailing it to every man on this site...maybe that will get their attention.

Best,

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to sensiia)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/27/2008 1:59:17 PM

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline

Hi MNN.

Please refer to my Standard Disclaimer. I'm not particularly concerned by offending the world, I figure I'm just paying it back.

And while many of the target audience may not read it (due to length, illiteracy, religious convictions, sticky hands, whatever) I don't think it hurts to post a How-To manual every now and then.

Thank you for the kind words though.

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MistressNoName)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/28/2008 4:29:48 PM

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

Stephen,
This was a great post and contained a lot of wisdom from many others. I agree - it is harder for the men on the site to find the One or Ones. I also agree in the honesty thing. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about who you are and what you want.

A great body and incredible sex will rarely make up for major differences in vanilla lifestyle or faiths. I’ve had both and in the end the relationships did not last. The excruciating pain of loosing two very wonderful people has taught me much about what I really want in life. My screen name and profile say much about that.

Your posters are right we are advertising here and putting your best foot forward is important but you have to be able to back that up. You also have to know what you want and stick to it. I feel sad for all the subs who got in relationships with a Dom(es) who did not know what they really wanted. You see many of them that start with something like “Let Go after X number of years.”

I used to be arrogant enough to believe that I could re-shape someone and they would be happy. I’ve learned over time that I can guide someone in growth but they have to want to grow and want to grow in the direction I am going. I’ve also learned that the core things that make someone happy are very hard to change. An oak tree can only become a cedar if you cut the oak off and graft a cedar on but even then the roots will still be oak.

The wagon goes faster if both horses are pulling in the same direction. I can reshape me but I’m not interested in trying to drag someone who does not want what I want from life along. It can be fun for a while, the sex can be fantastic, but after that it’s heartbreak for you both. The people you love deserve better than that.

An old Indian saying goes something like “walk in their moccasins and sleep in their tipi then you will know them. I had to imagine what the woman I wanted would want. I left a lot to be desired so I’m making some major changes. Really, who cares that I can swing a hand crafted flog with extreme accuracy or that I used to work on the fishing fleet so I know a lot of great knots. More importantly do I really want a person who’s only interest in me is that – NO! I want someone I can share my life with.

I’ve actually met a couple of very nice prospects but we will see what happens if we really get to meet in real life. An interesting side note is that most of my responses have been from ladies who are also trying to lose weight. Many of them have said things like “people who care about your weight are not worth your time.” I don’t believe that and I don’t think they really do either. If they did they would probably not be trying to lose weight. Looks, wealth, faith, music, and many other factor affect your life and happiness.

One thing I do wish was that this site had better search options for the vanilla side of life (like wants to have children), ranges instead of limits, and the option to include the left blanks in searches.

My advice is - be picky if you’re looking for the ONE(s). Getting laid is easy, getting the life you want is hard.
Peace and Prosperity,
Michael

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/29/2008 1:34:31 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline

Wow! Yours is a post I've often wished I could write. It should be mandatory reading for those new to the site! Hey, that rhymes...

(in reply to CountrySong)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/29/2008 2:58:13 PM

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

I read your whole "how to find a woman" thing....but I didn't see anything in there about lying, leading on, and all the other shit I was taught at a young age.

Are you trying to fuck with my hayud?

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/29/2008 2:59:50 PM

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Grizzzzy... I'm thinking you should behave or I'll make you take me shopping.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Griswold)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/29/2008 4:33:02 PM

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

(OH MY GAWWWWWWD)

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 3/29/2008 5:06:35 PM

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Grizzzzy... I'm thinking you should behave or I'll make you take me shopping.

Cali

This is where you lead her on first that you will, then lie about something coming up at the last minute. Remember your youth!

As another aside:

quote:

Wow! Yours is a post I've often wished I could write. It should be mandatory reading for those new to the site! Hey, that rhymes...

Is it possible that it's better for this to remain optional reading?

It is faster to identify morons when you don't teach them a few cheap tricks to hide than when you do; if someone wouldn't seek this out and read it on their own, I'd prefer they keep their bad habits, so that the rest of us can block or ignore them faster. I'm all about efficiency.

_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 4/4/2008 9:29:33 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

as girls play the same games guys do.

No they don't. girls are much more cut throat and backstabbing. Guys are upfront and confrontational. while guys are confronting a tough issue girls are running from it cause they're afraid of hurting someones feelings.

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 4/4/2008 9:34:22 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterOfMyRealm

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

MOMR: Well I'm impressed with a guy who can use the word "pique" correctly.

Cali

I can even use it in a sentence. :) Thank you.

Love your avatar pic and the first line of your sig, CalifChick.

So, after writing this I decided to update my own profile and take a new pic of myself with my webcam. What I didn't realize is that by replacing my original, default pic that it would go back into the "needs approval" state. That was smart, eh? Anybody interested, check back in a day or so or email me and I'll send you something g-rated and cute. :)

I guess that's another lesson (at least for me). Don't update your original picture until new ones are approved.

-David

Hi David,

It doesn't matter how many photos you have, changing the main photo will cause all of your photos to be hidden until the main photo is approved.

As for your comment about a webcam photo: Look at the next two photos, and tell me which girl you would be more interested in writing.

Girl 1

Girl 2

Webcam pictures are barely better than nothing. The better your main profile picture is, the higher the chances of being noticed and written or responded to. When people read your mail, your main picture is at the bottom. Even if the emails interesting, if they see a blurry ugly webcam pic below it, you're not making as good of a first impression as you could be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: liketophoto

quote:

ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

All kidding aside, it does at times amaze me how silly some of the profiles of men are, of course they probably read mine and think "what a poseur"...

gotta love a man with a fine sense of sarcasm.

perhaps, find a woman who you can be friends with first.

Perhaps my profile is too serious.
Perhaps the person whom would be best for me is completly different.

i still stand by my assertion. you should find someone you can be a friend with. i deliberately put in my profile that i'm not looking for anybody. it stops those with an agenda from writing to me. i don't want to be part of someone's agenda. i want friends. what happens after that.....

perhaps that's a bit too vanilla for some people here, but, it's worked for me to date, on and off this particular board.

Nope, it's neither 'too vanilla' nor a bad approach. With over 7000 posts, I'd say you've had ample time to demonstrate to one degree or another who you are and what you're like on the message board.

Unisex advice: "Just looking for friends" is great.... unless that's about the extent of what you have. If you post a fair bit about yourself, you make it easier for others reading your profile to determine if they do, in fact, want a friend like you.

Stephan

Id go with girl 1. girl 2 is happy and seems to not have a care in the world, so why the hell would she care about a guy like me when she probably gets hit on ten times a day by guys who will kneel, roll, and do tricks for her. I don't sell myself out for sex or even freindship so I can't compete.

(in reply to Stephann)

RE: For men: how to find a woman here - 4/4/2008 10:12:55 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 2/22/2008
Status: offline

puddles would add be true to self. puddles is a curious puddles.. and she often just browses around because she likes to connect with people (maybe she is a bit of a voyeur? but mostly she just likes to see real people living real lives.. her version of reality tv but on the internet). puddles found Mister B via this method of browsing.. and Mister B actually responded with a well thought out reply with puddles original email (which she hadn't even expected a response to). If Mister B hadn't had a very true to self profile, puddles would not have been inspired to contact him. if he followed every piece of advice.. he probably wouldn't have gotten puddles' attention..being true to self might mean be a bit odd. :)

(in reply to Hippiekinkster)

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