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Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 4:33:20 PM   
MissAngelandsub


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I am having problems that I don't really know how to deal with I have looked it up on the internet with no real help. Its not that I don't like sex persay its that I don't feel like doing it. Sometimes I don't want to be touched sexually usually it is when I am tired from working, I want to be able to have sex with my husband when he asks for it since I am usually only in the mood once a week it is causing stress on our marriage and I have no idea where else to go to ask for advice. I seen on one site that the best way to improve your sex drive is to touch and do all that but sometimes I don't even wanted to be touched in that way...anyone else have this problem and if you have, how did you improve your sex drive?
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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 4:51:02 PM   
sublibrarian


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I've been having sex drive issues due to being on an anti-depressant. Now that my doctor and I are playing with the dose some of my drive has come back, but not all. This might not apply to you, but it's a common reason for low sex drive. SSRI anti-depressants cause a feeling of sexual satiety.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 5:00:22 PM   
OldBastardly1


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Or you could have your hormone levels tested.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 5:02:19 PM   
MissAngelandsub


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Well, not long ago my doc tested my hormones and they are in the right ranges. Not on any anti depressants currently which I need to be I know, I have read that wellbutrin may raise your sex drive...maybe I can talk to my doctor about that.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 5:06:34 PM   
Moongoddess40


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Sweetie, get your hormones checked, even at your young age things can be off. You may experience something called Adrenal burnout, also known as superwomen complex. {you go, go, go, give, give, give, have nothing left over} Also a full screen panal on the regulars, Estrogen, Progesterone, and Testosterone, yes, we women have it too, in lower amounts, its what keeps our "horny" going. Even if one of these is slightly off it can take away your sex drive. Alot of women have something called PCOS and don't even know it.....especially during child bearing years.  Sublibrarian is right about the anti depressents,.....those evil little side effects they can do to you~! Do you have a natural-path you can afford or a hip gyno?

Moon

< Message edited by Moongoddess40 -- 3/24/2008 5:08:04 PM >

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 5:09:58 PM   
sublibrarian


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Yup, I'm going to talk to my doctor about wellbutrin as well. I could use something that keeps the depression away but lets me have a sex drive and feel like myself!

If your hormones check out and you say you should be on an anti-depressant - could it be depression affecting your sex drive?

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:23:38 PM   
kiwisub12


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personally, when I was married and had two babies my sex drive was nonexistant, and my husband didn't help at all. He didn't touch me nonsexually, didn't help around the house, criticised what I did around the house, and generally acted like a paying house guest with sex priviliges. Needless to say I didn't want to have sex with him -or anyone. I was tired, overworked, overweight and underloved.

My point is - besides looking for pity- lol- is, if you are tired , overworked and underhelped around the house then your libedo is going to be in the toilet. If your spouse helps around the house, cooks and cuddles you without sexual overtones, then you do indeed have a physical problem.  But there is a  good chance you have a mixed issue problem  - combination physical and emotional problems.

Identifying issues would be the first step to rectifying the situation. Discussing them with your doctor and your husband would be the second.   and good luck to you.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:25:19 PM   
khem


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Low sex drive has been cited as a symptom of depression.  I think you might have just said it yourself.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:28:02 PM   
MissAngelandsub


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I have been checked for PCOS because of my weight and because of other causes that the doctor thought I should be checked so I know I don't have that and all my hormones are in the right ranges.

I know I have depression because I have bi-polar and that basically goes hand in hand with it. The only anti depressant I have ever been on that worked was prozac and it is notorius for being a sex drive killer but I haven't been on that since the first time me and my husband first got together and when we first got together sex was great but that was probably because going without it for a year sometimes you just make up for lost time lol. I don't know if it was just the depression was gone and I was actually feeling like having sex or if it was just being in a new relationship made me want to have sex more. If prozac wasn't so expensive I would ask the doc for it but I can't afford it.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:36:03 PM   
MissAngelandsub


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My husband does help around the house I work and he stays home and cooks and cleans and basically all he asks in return is sex which I can't blame him. I don't have ums and its just us at home. I know that stress and depression can cause low sex drive and I am so wanting that to change. I know that if I read erotic stories I can get in the mood but then that makes him feel like he can't get me there his self....so I just need something else to help me.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:40:34 PM   
sublibrarian


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I hope you have medical coverage so you can get some sort of antidepressant. While I can speak to prozac being a libido killer I'm still better off on it and not feeling particularly horny than being off it and feeling like utter shit (and thereby not feeling horny either!). I'm hoping my doctor feels I can switch to wellbutrin - I have no idea if it costs more or less than prozac. (Although I'm lucky to have medical coverage so it's not a big issue for me.) I hope something works out for you. Just know you're not the only one out there dealing with low sex drive. It's been bugging me for months now. It's definitely a drag, but something I'm sure can be dealt with.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:48:28 PM   
idontknowdou


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i was on wellbutrin it lowered mine so dont know how that pill suppose to higher it

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 6:50:44 PM   
lusciouslips19


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Wellbutrin actually works as an aphrodisiac. It seems to be an antidepressent that doesnt take away the sex drive but does the opposite. Its very good for depression and anxiety, Do you have small children? this is usually when sex is the lasty thing on your mind, Babies take alot of energy.  Try getting some exercise to boost your energy and feel good hormones.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 7:42:42 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAngelandsub

Well, not long ago my doc tested my hormones and they are in the right ranges. Not on any anti depressants currently which I need to be I know, I have read that wellbutrin may raise your sex drive...maybe I can talk to my doctor about that.


I would advise letting an alternative practioner recheck your hormone levels.  What most doctors consider a normal balance, is not viewed the same by these doctors and you may find that hormones were a contributing factor after all.  Please do not consider anti depressants just to fix  low libido.  Even when improved sex drive is listed as a side effect, the results are often temporary and lead to other problems.  Best wishes, dear.

lovingpet

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 8:05:02 PM   
TermsConditions


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You've gotten some really good advice from helpful folks.

I always thought a woman's low sex drive was caused by being married to me :-)

Once a week sounds like a lot to me. We've been 2-4 times per year for about 10 years now with some occasional years off.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 8:29:55 PM   
addisonclarkgirl


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MissAngel,

The past few years, I've gone through a period of low sex drive, just as you explained it.  I enjoy it when I have it, but I have no desire to do it in the first place.  I haven't had my hormone levels checked, so I probably should talk to my doc about it.  My problem is, I'm a single submissive little girl searching for a Daddy.  What kind of Daddy wants a little girl who doesn't want to have sex?  How do I attract a man when sex is the last thing on my mind??  Grrr...

Good luck!
addison

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 8:43:56 PM   
Celeste43


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If you're too tired in the evenings then what about turning off the tv, going to bed early and having sex in the mornings when you still have energy? Otherwise, a half hour nap when you come home to recharge your batteries. But do turn the tv and the computer off earlier so you get into bed earlier.

This from some one who should have been there an hour ago. Nite all!

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/24/2008 10:34:03 PM   
MissAngelandsub


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well I get home late so in turn go to bed late and then i wake up later than usual then I go to work...its a shitty cycle to say the least. Also, loving pet I wouldn't be taking anti depressants just for the libido effects I have bi-polar and depression is part of that and anti depressants seem to control my bi-polar better than anything since I am more of a depressed person than manic. I try what i can to get in 'the mood' more and give him what he wants and I know at 22 he needs it probably as much as he wants it. It just sucks being 22 and not really wanting or needing sex, I could personally live without it as long as I could masturbate when the mood did decide to finally move in on me lol.

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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/25/2008 5:07:41 AM   
DesFIP


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Bipolar Type I or Type II? Because antidepressants can make Type II's hypomanic even if they don't normally get mania.

Are you on any birth control pills? Because if so, try a different, nonhormonal way to go. BC pills can have side effects, the fact that your hormone levels are okay doesn't mean they're okay for you, just that there's no obvious problem requiring treatment.

And set the alarm for earlier. After a few days you'll go to bed earlier and be able to wake up earlier. There are 16 hours in a day, only 8 of which are spent at work. I refuse to believe you can't adjust your schedule to have one hour available.

The other thing here is that you don't have to be all hot and bothered to act lovingly and intimate with your partner. You can use lube if needed and enjoy a physical activity that you know makes him happy.

Your other post mentioned you're on a new med. What is it and have you checked its effect on libido?

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 3/25/2008 5:09:59 AM >


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RE: Low Sex Drive - 3/25/2008 5:59:42 AM   
angelikaJ


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prozac_is_available_generic...check_the_price_at_Walmart
I_know__people_with_bipolar_who_do_well_on_welbutrin..
.but_discuss_it_with_your_doc

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