RE: Switches Only

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Switches Only

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Switches Only

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Switches Only - 4/8/2008 4:57:23 PM

veronicaboundcd

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Unfortunately, this type of problem happens all the time, and I agree with bipolarber, the people making these comments are usually not worth the time it takes to argue with them. As a Crossdresser AND a Switch, I can take either role, and have done so in both my masculine and feminine personalities (Which are very different) ..... and believe me, I've heard comments that weren't fit for another human being !!! On the other hand, I've had great comments on my play and skills from others, but in every case, these were people who understand the bdsm concept to a great degree, and have learned though their experiences that labels mean nothing. Perhaps it's just the word "Switch" itself .... maybe it makes some uncomfortable. I suggest that we start calling ourselves Universal Lifestylers, or maybe Full-Menu Players ... but then again that would probably make them more uncomfortable !! We all know that it's only a matter of time, until one of these same people finds this thread, and just has to vent !!! ... Stay tuned !!!

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

RE: Switches Only - 4/8/2008 11:30:42 PM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: madshysoul

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Dude. Chill. 1) You don't know me and so you don't know that I bottom for sex and spiritual purposes, but not for power dynamic (Thus listed as Master). In a lot of circles, that labels me as a switch. In some, not.

Feel free.

Master Fire

MasterFireMaam,

Would it be ok if I wrote you on the other side with a question on this?

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to madshysoul)

RE: Switches Only - 4/9/2008 1:04:00 PM

Guest

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: TonyFordz

I also said switches only to avoid this bullshit as it always ends up in a dispute with some jackass who just cant stand to see someone express themselves.

Dude. Chill. 1) You don't know me and so you don't know that I bottom for sex and spiritual purposes, but not for power dynamic (Thus listed as Master). In a lot of circles, that labels me as a switch. In some, not. 2) Putting up an attitude is hardly the way to get people to learn tolerance. I know their are people who really are assholes about the issue...but just because they behave like children doesn't mean we have to...no matter how tempting it is to try and spank them.

People are rude for lots of reasons. Lack of tolerance, lack on knowledge, fear, etc.etc. I've found it usually boils down to fear...fear of rejection and a lack of exceptence. There is nothing that we can do to change their mind if we put them on the defensive. If we want to be accepted in the community, we need to simply be...and not worry about what they think so much.

Master Fire

Nor do I want to know you if your not a switch you don't need to be posting to this thread what part of "Switches Only" didn't you understand?

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Switches Only - 4/9/2008 1:07:42 PM

Guest

LOL ok that is pretty funny but topping from the bottom with a Dom is part of why Dom's hate us because they seam to think we are not capable of maintaining our submissive role to them which really sucks but then again I have served quite a few that bottom from the top lol so who is the confused one here? I wouldn't mind a go with you Ms Lush lol at least your honest I will give you that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLush

Well, I have to say i'm a switch...but predominatly a top. While I find subs / bottoms entertaining for a while...I bore easily after a period of time. I love to top, tops! And then the next day...I like to be topped by the top. Yes some get all shirty about it...but really who cares...i say...next!!! But for me...it depends on my mood...and i like to be spontaneous and adventurous, so a partner / play mate that has the ability to be versitile is prrrrrrrfect! A brilliant quote I read once was...“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Dr Seuss
I live by that now!

< Message edited by TonyFordz -- 4/9/2008 1:09:48 PM >

(in reply to MsLush)

RE: Switches Only - 4/10/2008 2:35:04 PM

Posts: 185
Joined: 3/21/2008
Status: offline

You run into rude people, be they Top, bottom, Switch or other. Its amazing to me how many narrow minded people there are in a life that is aside of society's "norms." However, in my experience, the wonderful people have far outwieghed the jerks. One of the nice things about being a Switch is that both Tops and bottoms should feel comfortable approaching you, especially at a kink event.You just have to roll with those that can't handle it. I look at it as if they are being a jerk because I identify as a Switch, perhaps my versatility threatens them.

(in reply to Guest)

RE: Switches Only - 4/21/2008 2:10:50 PM

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline

I am heartended here by a few folk who I can relate to here, who seem to have found and recognised the sheer exhileration that I have also found in a variable relationship.
I won't wax lyrical about it.. but thumbs up folks.. and isnt it great?

ever tried relations with multiple switches at once? can be amazing... :o]

(in reply to LikaLady)

RE: Switches Only - 4/21/2008 3:06:06 PM

Posts: 49
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

Hello Tony,

If they don't understand that your a switch they themselves do not have much experience in this lifestyle and either feel threaten or unconfident regarding their abilities to dominant you. All the better for them to move on and you not waste your time.

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

RE: Switches Only - 4/24/2008 7:27:26 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

As "everyone" "knows", there is no such thing as a S/switch. Except, I are one.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

RE: Switches Only - 4/24/2008 8:32:54 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

I guess I'm too late to edit, or add to my post, so , I'll say it here.

It's a thought that occurs to me from reading the Switches forum. Perhaps, those of us that are S/switches should try to be less concerned with what ideas, concepts and opinions others have of us and just be happy being and expressing ourselves. There should be no need for outside validation of who or what one is, imo. No matter what one's orientation is.

Works for me. Jusy sayin'.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to cjan)

RE: Switches Only - 4/25/2008 6:38:27 AM

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Are people rude to me because I am a switch? No. They are rude because they are confused in how to approach me. I am a person first, last, and always.

It doesn't matter to me how they identify themself. There are certain types of people that I am naturally dominant towards, just as there are certain personality types that I am naturally submissive towards.

(in reply to cjan)

RE: Switches Only - 4/25/2008 10:42:47 AM

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

Tony, just so you know, people regardless of their role in life, are going to respond to any thread they want to on the message boards. I myself poke my nose in all of the forums, and post wherever I like. Those who don't like it, Oh well. And considering that MasterFireMa'am is a highly respected poster on the forums, don't be suprised if you find yourself blasted.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to purepleasure)

RE: Switches Only - 4/25/2008 10:45:47 AM

Posts: 95
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

IT VARIES!!!!

:)

quote:

ORIGINAL: captainwomble

I am heartended here by a few folk who I can relate to here, who seem to have found and recognised the sheer exhileration that I have also found in a variable relationship.
I won't wax lyrical about it.. but thumbs up folks.. and isnt it great?

ever tried relations with multiple switches at once? can be amazing... :o]

(in reply to captainwomble)

RE: Switches Only - 4/27/2008 7:22:02 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

I love the interplay between my mate and i. It is so dynamic. Never knowing what role we will decide upon until we are ready to start again keeps it interesting. And playing with another switch couple has got to be one of the most fun things to do. I find it equally as amazing to work with others to bring someone to the heights of their interests as it is to feel all those sets of hands on you and know that you can't keep track of who is doing what.

Being a switch isn't the easiest choice, but if you can get your head wrapped around it, it's worth trying. Of course being able to take either role may require different people to elicit the different responses. I'm not sure why anyone wants to judge someone's choice in roles anymore than we judge particular kinks. Enjoying one thing over another does not make it better, it just makes you who you are.

Best of luck in finding a partner who can play both sides for you as well.

_____________________________

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be

(in reply to Vestonika)

RE: Switches Only - 4/29/2008 7:15:43 AM

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

<QR>

"Switch" is too general, but it's a good place to start. Some people, like Tebe12345*, are capable of an "Ok.. SWITCH!" Similar to hearing "Right arm, red."
(we actually go back and forth multiple times in the same play unit)

Some people call themselves switches because day to day their desires change, like MsLush*. (And then the next day...I like to be topped by the top)

Some people call themselves switches because they are 99.999 dominant... but twice a year get that submissive itch. Then I jack off and it goes away. O.o

Some people call themselves switches because they USED to be on the other team.

This is probably where a lot of "fear" (not the right word) comes in. I am a dominant. For me to take a switch as a submissive (see how I'm wording that =\?) I know I won't be able to satisfy their dominant side. At least not without a poly option. For argument's sake, the switch in question doesn't want a poly-home. Now what?

I won't become a switch to please them, it's not what I am. They won't become a purely submissive creature to please me, it's not what they are. You can cram the round peg through the triangle hole (*RRRrrrrr!!!*) but its much better to work out a sustainable deal.

Mmm "sustainable". Not enough people see that as a major compliment.

*Possibly being facetious, and I don't know anyone I named well enough to make that claim with any certainty.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

RE: Switches Only - 4/29/2008 3:30:36 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TonyFordz

I just wanted to ask how many other switches run into rude people, or people that pretty much avoid you altogether just because you are a switch. I find that many Dom's will avoid a switch in fear that the switch will switch with them but honestly I think there are more cases of sub, slave, bottoms trying to top from the bottom then there are switches trying to top from the bottom. Then there are the sub, slave, bottoms that will avoid a switch because they fear that the switch will become submissive at some point with them. I myself do not have a problem with the role in which I take on unless I am just unable to submit or dominant someone from the beginning. Does anyone else have these same problems?

Thank you,
Tony

You poor Switches. How many times do you discuss the “Why don’t people like us?” lament. I’ll try to give you some insight. (Really, I’m trying to help you here knowing full well that this topic cannot be addressed without you guys finding SOME kind of offence)

First, can the “Oh they FEAR a Switch”. Far from the truth. Switches are great party fillers. If you have too many Dom/mes.. there will surely be those willing to accommodate and vice versa. It’s all about the play. You guys come across as it’s all about YOU. How many here identify with the phrase “I’m a greedy bitch! I want it all!”

To those of us “poor one dimensional... in our little boxes types”… you are seen as players. (Sniff..sniff.. sob).. we just can’t take care of all your needs.. so we avoid you and thus let you go about your way to seek what you need elsewhere.

What REALLY mystifies me is this.. You have a switch submissive who declares they want a master who DOESN’T switch. I have to ask.. Isn’t this a tad convoluted to demean those who want a submissive who doesn’t switch?? Or a Domme who doesn’t switch? Some of us just can’t get our mind around a situation where they have submitted fully to a Dominant just to find that dominant on their knees eating a turd and licking boots.

Just face it..there are some instances in life where you CAN’T have it all.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Guest)

RE: Switches Only - 4/29/2008 7:57:48 PM

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

You poor Switches. How many times do you discuss the “Why don’t people like us?” lament. I’ll try to give you some insight. (Really, I’m trying to help you here knowing full well that this topic cannot be addressed without you guys finding SOME kind of offence)

First, can the “Oh they FEAR a Switch”. Far from the truth. Switches are great party fillers. If you have too many Dom/mes.. there will surely be those willing to accommodate and vice versa. It’s all about the play. You guys come across as it’s all about YOU. How many here identify with the phrase “I’m a greedy bitch! I want it all!”

To those of us “poor one dimensional... in our little boxes types”… you are seen as players. (Sniff..sniff.. sob).. we just can’t take care of all your needs.. so we avoid you and thus let you go about your way to seek what you need elsewhere.

What REALLY mystifies me is this.. You have a switch submissive who declares they want a master who DOESN’T switch. I have to ask.. Isn’t this a tad convoluted to demean those who want a submissive who doesn’t switch?? Or a Domme who doesn’t switch? Some of us just can’t get our mind around a situation where they have submitted fully to a Dominant just to find that dominant on their knees licking boots.

Just face it..there are some instances in life where you CAN’T have it all.

Many switches do not submit in the line of sight of those they dominate. It is all in the dynamic a switch has with their partner(s). Most of the switches I know are poly. That is not to say that we are sexually active with everyone we interact with. Just saying.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Switches Only - 4/29/2008 9:05:03 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

Many switches do not submit in the line of sight of those they dominate.

But then the other party still knows they do...

As "open minded" as the lifestyle professes to be, there are still those that will throw up comments like "Hey super sub.. I saw your Uber-dom licking domme boots last night.."

I'll share a situation with you that I personally had in the early years. It was all in cyberland. (as most come to this these days) I had a cyber-dom. Quite a popular one. There was a sub that was a tad jealous of me. Anyhow (this sounds so dumb now but it was big shit back then, so please bear with me)0 she had a cyber session with him.. with him in a very humiliating scene as a submissive and she as the Domme. She saved the text and ciruculated around said cyber-community with the intent to cause me embarassment. And at that time.. it did. When I called said dom on it.. he said "Oh..didn't you know I switch"?

Fast forward to realtime.. sessioned with a dom that basically botched a situation where he needed a backbone instead of a noodle for a spine and the next gathering he asked if he could sub to me which REALLY set me off. Good lord- it struck me then it was just all a big game and I felt like a fool realizing that I was sort of duped.. but it was my own inexperience at the time . So that's my situation and why I feel the way I do. I know now that if I played with a switch.. it's for the "moment". I'm just one of many who fills that person's need. I'm too possessive to give a switch any ease. Knowhatimean? So in summary, can you see why switches might not be right for a type of person?

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 4/29/2008 9:14:42 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to purepleasure)

RE: Switches Only - 4/30/2008 2:03:36 AM

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

I am both submissive and a Mistress. I am in a commited loving relationship with my Sir, and have a very deep friendship with my submissive. I actually DO submit in front of my sub. Infact alot of the time, I make my sub watch my scenes when I am submissive. My submissive has told me on many occasions he feels safer with me topping him, because he knows and has witnessed me doing the same things he does, he knows i know what everything I do to him feels like, he knows i understand the emotions involved in a scene and just being submissive period.

Sir knows I need to let BOTH sides of myself out fully enjoy the lifestyle and to be true to myself. and as long as my relationship with my submissive dosent get in the way of me and Sir's relationship, then everything is peachy.

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Switches Only - 4/30/2008 5:59:10 AM

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

Many switches do not submit in the line of sight of those they dominate.

But then the other party still knows they do...

As "open minded" as the lifestyle professes to be, there are still those that will throw up comments like "Hey super sub.. I saw your Uber-dom licking domme boots last night.."

I'll share a situation with you that I personally had in the early years. It was all in cyberland. (as most come to this these days) I had a cyber-dom. Quite a popular one. There was a sub that was a tad jealous of me. Anyhow (this sounds so dumb now but it was big shit back then, so please bear with me)0 she had a cyber session with him.. with him in a very humiliating scene as a submissive and she as the Domme. She saved the text and ciruculated around said cyber-community with the intent to cause me embarassment. And at that time.. it did. When I called said dom on it.. he said "Oh..didn't you know I switch"?

Fast forward to realtime.. sessioned with a dom that basically botched a situation where he needed a backbone instead of a noodle for a spine and the next gathering he asked if he could sub to me which REALLY set me off. Good lord- it struck me then it was just all a big game and I felt like a fool realizing that I was sort of duped.. but it was my own inexperience at the time . So that's my situation and why I feel the way I do. I know now that if I played with a switch.. it's for the "moment". I'm just one of many who fills that person's need. I'm too possessive to give a switch any ease. Knowhatimean? So in summary, can you see why switches might not be right for a type of person?

I definitely can see how some people might not be able to be in a committed D/s relationship with a switch, no matter which side of the paddle they are on. Everyone has their preferences in what they can accept in their interpersonal relationships. If switching works for you, great! If it doesn't work for you, that's great too.

I did not start out as a switch. I began this journey as a submissive a long ,long time ago. It is only in the last 6 years that I started dominating, and found that I enjoy it as much as submitting.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: Switches Only - 4/30/2008 10:56:10 AM

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

You know, it's like flyomg an airplane without knowing air traffic control, how the plane works, or never having forced the plane to stall. You simply can only imagine what the helpless person feel...what goes through her mind...ONLY THEN can you really burst with exhileration at the smallest amount of control.

Switches are not confused. If you do not legally own a slave within the law, it's all just fantasy anyway. Take a second and broaden your scope a little. Oh yeah, never, never, switch with a real bottom. Only some stranger away from that situation.Period.
Oh yeah, the vanilla label I am given really doesn't do me justice considering I grew up running my dad's swinger's club in Erroll Estates in Apopka for four yesars while I heloed him get his master's in psychology. I was betond most of yopu people when people were driving Pacers and Yugos.

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> RE: Switches Only

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.111