Do many subs contact Doms?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Do many subs contact Doms?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Do many subs contact Doms?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 6:38:26 PM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 6:39:42 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

The single ones don't have time; they're too busy answering or ignoring the mail they receive.
The taken ones don't have time; they're too busy answering to or ignoring their master(s).

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 6:43:38 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Would you be hunting if you had ten women a day wanting into YOUR pants?

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 6:45:48 PM

ceeman

Posts: 12
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

depends........on the sex of the Dom or Sub.......with male subs it is exactly...the opposite...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 6:55:07 PM

Ebonybbw

Posts: 114
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaineD

It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often?

I use to get a lot of mail from subs mostly living abroad or across country from me.

_____________________________

Mistress Ebony
Miami's Newest Supersized Domme
http://yourebonybbw.googlepages.com/mistressebony

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:01:36 PM

johntom571

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaineD

It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often?

i've heard it said that there are actually fewer real Dom than subs, but demographics are skewed on a site like this, because of the number of HNG's pretending to be Dom's and cluttering up the sub's mailboxes. yes most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. the majority miss the messages from genuine Doms on account of an overactive Delete button finger, which causes frustration on both sides: subs end up believing there ARE no real Doms, and Doms end up believing all subs are rude whiny spoiled brats who put up profile for no good reason.

any one else wants to chyme in?

JT

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:04:58 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I get surprisingly few emails from submissives but my best relationships have been women who have responded to me, the ones I choose, not so much. My partner I only met because she contacted me.

(in reply to johntom571)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:08:56 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

It is definately a guy thing. I get tons of unwanted email from submissives a day. I have noticed I get more mail now that I say I am not looking, becaue it makes me a challenge I suppose.
Male subs also tend to complain about getting very little initial contact, while female dominants are inundated.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:12:36 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaineD

It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often?

i've heard it said that there are actually fewer real Dom than subs, but demographics are skewed on a site like this, because of the number of HNG's pretending to be Dom's and cluttering up the sub's mailboxes. yes most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. the majority miss the messages from genuine Doms on account of an overactive Delete button finger, which causes frustration on both sides: subs end up believing there ARE no real Doms, and Doms end up believing all subs are rude whiny spoiled brats who put up profile for no good reason.

any one else wants to chyme in?

JT

Amen. The girls could cut down in the hng mail if they just hit "report profile-reason-spammer." Enough reports get a profile deleted automatically. So if you ladies get a really stupid or offensive email,take a few seconds to do the rest a favor-strike a point aganst idiocy-and make it better for everyone.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to johntom571)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:14:18 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky.
JT

I think most of them can, actually. You'd be surprised how many 'real' doms there are, and how many of them are intelligent, funny and well-spoken. I know *I* was!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to johntom571)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:33:42 PM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

i've heard it said that there are actually fewer real Dom than subs, but demographics are skewed on a site like this, because of the number of HNG's pretending to be Dom's and cluttering up the sub's mailboxes. yes most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. the majority miss the messages from genuine Doms on account of an overactive Delete button finger, which causes frustration on both sides: subs end up believing there ARE no real Doms, and Doms end up believing all subs are rude whiny spoiled brats who put up profile for no good reason.

any one else wants to chyme in?

JT

What's HNG stand for by the way? Anyway, yes, I have to agree completely with what you're saying. When I read a lot of profiles, most want the same thing - some thought put into messages sent to them. I put effort in, personalize the message, ask some questions, and no replies. It's frustrating, because half the time I'm thinking "I wonder if that ever even got read?" I've actually started half assing my messages now, sorta leaving off with "I'll ask more questions once you reply". Which I realize is counter-preductive, 'cause if that's one of the lucky messages that gets read they're just gonna think I'm lazy!

(in reply to johntom571)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:37:23 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

You can go to your c-mail, click on sent messages, and see if it has been read or even if it has been deleted without being read.
You can also unsend a message, if you'd like to fix it, or you just changed your mind.
Pretty cool!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:43:09 PM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You can go to your c-mail, click on sent messages, and see if it has been read or even if it has been deleted without being read.
You can also unsend a message, if you'd like to fix it, or you just changed your mind.
Pretty cool!

I completely forgot about that feature! So I went and checked there. 3 are unread and haven't been read in awhile, one was deleted without being read, and the rest have been read but no replies! That's worrying!

EDIT: I was about to message one girl there and say, 'hey, I put some effort into that, a simple reply would be nice' but quickly realized it wouldn't be the smartest way to go. I don't wanna be one of those types of guys that rants at girls for not replying.

< Message edited by KaineD -- 4/5/2008 7:49:41 PM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 7:55:11 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

Well, when I was single, I got tired of all the poop sent to me and finally decided to hide my profile. I started reading Dom profiles carefully and sent about three notes. The profiles I responded to were well thought out and detailed. They showed intelligence and depth.

One didn't respond. One followed up with more information about himself that made me realize he wasn't what I needed and the third became my Master.

I haven't read your profile, but in general, I recommend writing in detail (with correct spelling and grammar) your philosophy of life and your goals in the lifestyle.

I think most female subs are interested in more than years in the lifestyle and your toy bag. If the biggest sex organ is the brain (as reflected in a recent poll here), then give them a glimpse of that. It's a real turn on.

Edited to add- Many read the profile BEFORE opening mail. They make the decision then.
and- Master has kept His original profile blurb up if you want to see what I read that interested me.

< Message edited by hejira92 -- 4/5/2008 7:58:58 PM >

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 8:06:23 PM

KaineD

Posts: 497
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

Yeah, I would like to read that! Thanks.

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 8:13:06 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I agree with Hejira.
I looked at your profile, and you're quite the cutie!
I think the only thing(s) holding you back are;
1. lack of info on profile, (and no, a checklist doesn't count) and, (for some)
2. your youth may work against you for a while.

I'm also a bit unsure how many girls you will find who are into 'monster experiments and female ninjas'. So, you may want to say something a bit different than 'if you're into that, we may get along well' (just paraphrasing)
I wish you well!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to KaineD)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 8:14:37 PM

greyarcher315

Posts: 99
Joined: 12/7/2006
Status: offline

All i can say is, as a male seeking a Domme, i do send out emails, but don't get back many replys. It can be really frustrating to put all that effort into writing an intelligent intro, and have it never read. But i do contact the Dommes, i see no point in waiting to be found.

(in reply to hejira92)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 9:00:37 PM

metamorpha

Posts: 35
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline

It's the opposite for a Mistress - I used to get at least 40 new emails a day. I didn't have to hunt at all.

(in reply to greyarcher315)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 10:42:10 PM

GothishNomad

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

As a sub all i can say is that we (read as i) can be a little self-doubting sometimes. Am i coming off as pushy or aggressive?? Will S/He read that as me being too assertive?? It sounds a little silly - but here i go anyway - often i will view a Doms profile a few times before getting up the courage to actually send a message. Seriously it's less of a "hey they can see i'm looking at their profile." and much more of a "ok, they sound interesting...now how the heck do i appproach them?"

Dom/mes need to appreciate that sometimes You guys are hard to appraoch.

(in reply to metamorpha)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Do many subs contact Doms? - 4/5/2008 10:43:44 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Is it because you are somehow linking the fisting and diapers thing?