Do many subs contact Doms?

Do many subs contact Doms? (Full Version)

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KaineD -> Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 6:38:26 PM)
It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often?

xxblushesxx -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 6:39:42 PM)
The single ones don't have time; they're too busy answering or ignoring the mail they receive. The taken ones don't have time; they're too busy answering to or ignoring their master(s).

Leatherist -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 6:43:38 PM)
Would you be hunting if you had ten women a day wanting into YOUR pants?

ceeman -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 6:45:48 PM)
depends........on the sex of the Dom or Sub.......with male subs it is exactly...the opposite...

Ebonybbw -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 6:55:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaineD It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often? I use to get a lot of mail from subs mostly living abroad or across country from me.

johntom571 -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:01:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaineD It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often? i've heard it said that there are actually fewer real Dom than subs, but demographics are skewed on a site like this, because of the number of HNG's pretending to be Dom's and cluttering up the sub's mailboxes. yes most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. the majority miss the messages from genuine Doms on account of an overactive Delete button finger, which causes frustration on both sides: subs end up believing there ARE no real Doms, and Doms end up believing all subs are rude whiny spoiled brats who put up profile for no good reason. any one else wants to chyme in? JT

SimplyMichael -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:04:58 PM)
I get surprisingly few emails from submissives but my best relationships have been women who have responded to me, the ones I choose, not so much. My partner I only met because she contacted me.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:08:56 PM)
It is definately a guy thing. I get tons of unwanted email from submissives a day. I have noticed I get more mail now that I say I am not looking, becaue it makes me a challenge I suppose. Male subs also tend to complain about getting very little initial contact, while female dominants are inundated. DV

Leatherist -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:12:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: johntom571 quote: ORIGINAL: KaineD It seems to me that Doms do all the chasing around here and subs generally have inboxes with 30 new messages a day. Why is this? I've had the very very occasional first message from a sub. Why do subs not message Doms first more often? i've heard it said that there are actually fewer real Dom than subs, but demographics are skewed on a site like this, because of the number of HNG's pretending to be Dom's and cluttering up the sub's mailboxes. yes most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. the majority miss the messages from genuine Doms on account of an overactive Delete button finger, which causes frustration on both sides: subs end up believing there ARE no real Doms, and Doms end up believing all subs are rude whiny spoiled brats who put up profile for no good reason. any one else wants to chyme in? JT Amen. The girls could cut down in the hng mail if they just hit "report profile-reason-spammer." Enough reports get a profile deleted automatically. So if you ladies get a really stupid or offensive email,take a few seconds to do the rest a favor-strike a point aganst idiocy-and make it better for everyone.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:14:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: johntom571 most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. JT I think most of them can, actually. You'd be surprised how many 'real' doms there are, and how many of them are intelligent, funny and well-spoken. I know I was!

KaineD -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:33:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: johntom571 i've heard it said that there are actually fewer real Dom than subs, but demographics are skewed on a site like this, because of the number of HNG's pretending to be Dom's and cluttering up the sub's mailboxes. yes most of them don't have time to reply to all messages, and genuinely think they can afford to be picky. the majority miss the messages from genuine Doms on account of an overactive Delete button finger, which causes frustration on both sides: subs end up believing there ARE no real Doms, and Doms end up believing all subs are rude whiny spoiled brats who put up profile for no good reason. any one else wants to chyme in? JT What's HNG stand for by the way? Anyway, yes, I have to agree completely with what you're saying. When I read a lot of profiles, most want the same thing - some thought put into messages sent to them. I put effort in, personalize the message, ask some questions, and no replies. It's frustrating, because half the time I'm thinking "I wonder if that ever even got read?" I've actually started half assing my messages now, sorta leaving off with "I'll ask more questions once you reply". Which I realize is counter-preductive, 'cause if that's one of the lucky messages that gets read they're just gonna think I'm lazy!

xxblushesxx -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:37:23 PM)
You can go to your c-mail, click on sent messages, and see if it has been read or even if it has been deleted without being read. You can also unsend a message, if you'd like to fix it, or you just changed your mind. Pretty cool!

KaineD -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:43:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx You can go to your c-mail, click on sent messages, and see if it has been read or even if it has been deleted without being read. You can also unsend a message, if you'd like to fix it, or you just changed your mind. Pretty cool! I completely forgot about that feature! So I went and checked there. 3 are unread and haven't been read in awhile, one was deleted without being read, and the rest have been read but no replies! That's worrying! EDIT: I was about to message one girl there and say, 'hey, I put some effort into that, a simple reply would be nice' but quickly realized it wouldn't be the smartest way to go. I don't wanna be one of those types of guys that rants at girls for not replying.

hejira92 -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 7:55:11 PM)
Well, when I was single, I got tired of all the poop sent to me and finally decided to hide my profile. I started reading Dom profiles carefully and sent about three notes. The profiles I responded to were well thought out and detailed. They showed intelligence and depth. One didn't respond. One followed up with more information about himself that made me realize he wasn't what I needed and the third became my Master. I haven't read your profile, but in general, I recommend writing in detail (with correct spelling and grammar) your philosophy of life and your goals in the lifestyle. I think most female subs are interested in more than years in the lifestyle and your toy bag. If the biggest sex organ is the brain (as reflected in a recent poll here), then give them a glimpse of that. It's a real turn on. Edited to add- Many read the profile BEFORE opening mail. They make the decision then. and- Master has kept His original profile blurb up if you want to see what I read that interested me.

KaineD -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 8:06:23 PM)
Yeah, I would like to read that! Thanks.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 8:13:06 PM)
I agree with Hejira. I looked at your profile, and you're quite the cutie! I think the only thing(s) holding you back are; 1. lack of info on profile, (and no, a checklist doesn't count) and, (for some) 2. your youth may work against you for a while. I'm also a bit unsure how many girls you will find who are into 'monster experiments and female ninjas'. So, you may want to say something a bit different than 'if you're into that, we may get along well' (just paraphrasing) I wish you well!

greyarcher315 -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 8:14:37 PM)
All i can say is, as a male seeking a Domme, i do send out emails, but don't get back many replys. It can be really frustrating to put all that effort into writing an intelligent intro, and have it never read. But i do contact the Dommes, i see no point in waiting to be found.

metamorpha -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 9:00:37 PM)
It's the opposite for a Mistress - I used to get at least 40 new emails a day. I didn't have to hunt at all.

GothishNomad -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 10:42:10 PM)
As a sub all i can say is that we (read as i) can be a little self-doubting sometimes. Am i coming off as pushy or aggressive?? Will S/He read that as me being too assertive?? It sounds a little silly - but here i go anyway - often i will view a Doms profile a few times before getting up the courage to actually send a message. Seriously it's less of a "hey they can see i'm looking at their profile." and much more of a "ok, they sound interesting...now how the heck do i appproach them?" Dom/mes need to appreciate that sometimes You guys are hard to appraoch.

Leatherist -> RE: Do many subs contact Doms? (4/5/2008 10:43:44 PM)
Is it because you are somehow linking the fisting and diapers thing? [:D]

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