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RE: Where do we fit? - 3/10/2006 6:23:23 PM

kombi

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline

Where do Switches fit in? Do we have to fit anywhere? We are the balance, the perfection between two extremes. We have the counternance and flexibility to enjoy two worlds. We are comfortable with our duality. We are at one with our universe. Not many people achieve this in life. Switch and be proud of who we are!

(in reply to Level)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/13/2006 2:19:36 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Why do you want to fit in? Be yourself.

If you were the sort to fit in you'd co-operate and be easy to label. You're not, so celebrate who you are.

I go to a munch now and then and never have trouble fitting in cause I never try to fit in. Always be yourself first.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/14/2006 7:12:13 AM

Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline

We are the heretics. I've only been in the lifestyle about a year but I've met plenty of people who make WIITWD a full-blown religion. My wife is neither my sub or my mistress, she is my wife and an equal partner and it amazes me how many folks have a problem with that.

We are active in our local group and it strikes me very funny that the Domme who runs it is constantly preaching acceptance yet describes us "having that weird thing going."

WyrdRich

(in reply to Laura)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/14/2006 11:24:14 AM

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

We are the heretics. I've only been in the lifestyle about a year but I've met plenty of people who make WIITWD a full-blown religion. My wife is neither my sub or my mistress, she is my wife and an equal partner and it amazes me how many folks have a problem with that.

We are active in our local group and it strikes me very funny that the Domme who runs it is constantly preaching acceptance yet describes us "having that weird thing going."

WyrdRich

lol, funny thing about those that claim tolerance.

Often they are VERY tolerant of anyone that agrees with them :)

fergus

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/14/2006 9:58:34 PM

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

"We are active in our local group and it strikes me very funny that the Domme who runs it is constantly preaching acceptance yet describes us "having that weird thing going."

I really relate to this. I just dated another switch for awhile and it flipped my friends out. They asked questions such as: who's the top today? Or "I just don't get it". I think it makes folks uncomfortable not to be able to put me in a pre-defined box with a label.

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/15/2006 12:57:13 AM

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Bravo kombi! I value honesty and personal awareness in people, not rigid roles and
mono-thinking. Duality and contrast make for interesting art and interesting people.

-Vendaval-

quote:

ORIGINAL: kombi

Where do Switches fit in? Do we have to fit anywhere? We are the balance, the perfection between two extremes. We have the counternance and flexibility to enjoy two worlds. We are comfortable with our duality. We are at one with our universe. Not many people achieve this in life. Switch and be proud of who we are!

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to kombi)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/15/2006 1:00:31 AM

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

The point has been made before by other people on the forums; but the crap that switches receive for their kink is similar to the crap that bisexual people receive for
their tendencies.

I appreciate all you switches with your endless variety of experiences and infinite forms of expression.

Be well but not proper,

-Vendaval-

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shayna

I really relate to this. I just dated another switch for awhile and it flipped my friends out. They asked questions such as: who's the top today? Or "I just don't get it". I think it makes folks uncomfortable not to be able to put me in a pre-defined box with a label.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Shayna)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/15/2006 1:27:34 PM

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline

i am a switch, and damn proud of it. i am also bi( yes i eat my cake and diet later). i get alot of flac for being who i am, i just laugh and say well its what makes me happy and i am wise enough to know my skills and make damn sure i am good at what i do. i dont expect everyone to understand or even want to understand just respect who and what i am. alot of people whine about not being a true Domme or a true submissive but what exactly is a true one. we are born a certain way and if somehow each of us discovers the other way later in life and decided to improve on both skills why are they dumped on,, it takes a whole hell of alot of work to be both than just one or the other, you have to have skills to know when each is nessary and when it is not, its not a light switch either. just as being bi is now highly accepted so will switches.

(in reply to Vendaval)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/17/2006 4:23:05 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2006
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quote:

My wife is neither my sub or my mistress, she is my wife and an equal partner and it amazes me how many folks have a problem with that.

Bah, ain't nothing wrong in that. The person I am closest to in life is pretty much my equal, although he is a bit of a submissive and I a bit of a Dominant. There really isn't any real D/s outside of play, or even in play most of the times. Our number one goal is simply to enjoy ourselves.

Unfortunately much of the world thinks there is only one true way to go about things, when the truth is there are many. Once they look outside themselves and realize it, only then they can open up to change, but alas, far to few actually take that first step.

_____________________________

Living the Dichotomy

Painslut? How about "Endorphin Junkie"?

For information about "the furry thing" please check out my profile journal entry for: 1/17/2006

Alpha of a leather family of four. Master to the slave z.

(in reply to greenamethyst)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/18/2006 8:26:46 AM

Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kombi

Where do Switches fit in? Do we have to fit anywhere? We are the balance, the perfection between two extremes. We have the counternance and flexibility to enjoy two worlds. We are comfortable with our duality. We are at one with our universe. Not many people achieve this in life. Switch and be proud of who we are!

This is awfully "switches are more enlightened" sounding. I don't agree.

(in reply to kombi)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/18/2006 2:16:57 PM

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

We are the heretics. I've only been in the lifestyle about a year but I've met plenty of people who make WIITWD a full-blown religion. My wife is neither my sub or my mistress, she is my wife and an equal partner and it amazes me how many folks have a problem with that.

We are active in our local group and it strikes me very funny that the Domme who runs it is constantly preaching acceptance yet describes us "having that weird thing going."

WyrdRich

My BF and I have this same agreement. We are equal outside the bedroom, when Im Top (which is nearly all the time) he is sub and when he Tops which is almost never

I play sub. But once outta the bedroom we are equal partners and contrary to what folks think, theres never a problem deciding who gets to play what, we communicate and that is the key to any relationship.
Those who dont' like us I think can be just plain ignorant, intolerant or just plain jealous.

Lashra

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/18/2006 6:49:39 PM

Posts: 12
Joined: 7/5/2005
From: Las Vegas NV
Status: offline

I entered the "scene" as a hetero submissive male - and in Los Angeles in those days, I got a lot of action. It was great. After a few months, I found that I had a more dominant side - more of a top than a Dom, actually, and began to pursue that avenue.

Oh my god, as beginner without a steady partner, pickings were slim and far between - and the dry spells were just hideous! Many years later, activities appeared and my life evened out fairly well. It is now many years later and I am primarily a top - but for the right lady, I am so very willing to be submissive - actually more of a bottom than submissive...

The way I see it - the label "switch" is a little denigrating, and usually used by the "really perfect" doms and subs who are a little endangered by the notion of "losing face" by being seen out a role for which they are noted

Actually, I share that defect, for it is nearly impossible for me to sub when at a party or in public.... I do need to hang on to my Dom ego. I am really happy to sub or bottom in the bedroom though - that can be a real high.

Two faced Richard

(in reply to kombi)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/23/2006 9:43:07 AM

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: the dark recesses of an overactive imagination
Status: offline

On this topic, i simply feel that i belong wherever i damn well please. i am an "alpha female" type personality, which means that there has to be an Alpha Male and no Other to be my Master, and everyone else can see the top side of me. i love having the Alpha Male to care for, control, and love me - that's where the submissive side lies.

But i have a very strong dominant streak as well, and am very toppish to other females and most males. It's all a question of knowing where i stand, before i can ever try to help others see it.

Yay for being a switch! :)

(Pardon if i come off rudely, i don't mean to. i'm just in a mood this morning.)

_____________________________

070-042-204

"I now no longer moved as a free woman, even a beautiful one, of Earth. I now moved, and naturally, as what I was, uninhibited and shameless, taunting, catlike, insolent, a Gorean slave girl.
Captive of Gor Book 7 Page 175"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

RE: Where do we fit? - 3/25/2006 6:00:54 AM

PenelopePitstop

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

Where are the rules that one's preferences are static anyway? All well and good if you have a favoured pattern of behaviour, but I'm developing new fancies all the time. At least switches allow for development and change.

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to suitemindcrime)

RE: Where do we fit? - 4/6/2006 6:23:09 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Remember, until there even became such a thing as 'the lifestyle' these hardcore doms and subs were also outcasts, not fitting into the vanilla world. I've heard and seen many switches who aren't forthcoming, so they don't become outcasts. Wouldn't it be wonderful to see how many switches there really are. Maybe when they do, more people who top from the bottom will start coming forward and those that enjoy them. I wish they'd hurry though, I'm getting old here just waiting. LOL
I find it amusing when someone with Master in their name IM's me and after chatting for awhile, begins to call me Ma'am or Mistress. I actuallly choose not to get into calling, or being called master, or having to capitalize the D in dom. I don't care who else is into this, it's just not something I will ever be adding to my list of things to do. This seems to be some sort of sin in the eyes of many. That's okay though, they aren't the people I ever intend to share my bed with, so why should they even care. You would think that because they were once considered misfits they would be more understanding, but of course, they don't think like that. Some of them rationalize that they've been in this culture for generations. I say, so what! They were STILL not mainstream and considered outcasts. To me, it's just racism without color..oh wait, there is color, it's a black and white world for them, no shades of grey!

(in reply to Level)

RE: Where do we fit? - 7/12/2006 1:36:25 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline

Actually....

I never "preach" anything. Sorry if it comes off that way.

I never said you had a "weird thing going".

As a matter of fact this is what I said...

The lifestyle choice you have made will be viewed upon by many as not "twu" BDSM. Out of all the roles, switches are viewed as less than by many.
To top it off by switching within the relationship, the both of you will experience many prejudices and could even experience some people making nasty comments. I told the both of you this out of respect and concern. I wanted you BOTH to be prepared for what could happen. This was not done to try and get either of you to change. But far be it for me to have two newcomers who are choosing to take a route that is less (oh what is the word.....) understood by the "mainstream", get blindsided by some jackass in the community who thinks he/she is the Uber Dom/me of the world.

It was and will always be about giving you all the information to make what is known as "an informed decision"

IF I recall correctly, I also stated that I respected the choices you both have made and accept your relationship wholeheartedly and without question or judgment. I also believe that I stated that I respected that you both are following your heart and doing what you believe is right for you two.

Having been a switch myself for some good four years... I am NOT a hypocrite and do not think switches are any less than in any way shape or form.

I am very sorry if what I believed was giving information was taken as me "preaching" or being two faced.

I will have to seriously reconsider offering information to people in the future unless they specifically ask me.

To say that reading this (however old it may be) is really upsetting and to be honest, hurts. Yeah, us "Dommes" have feelings too and it isn't wrong for me to state them. It is one of the things I did bring over from the bottom to the Top.

But... whatever. Hey.. life goes on.

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Where do we fit? - 7/12/2006 1:39:34 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline

The post above was referring to this post.. sorry I forgot to quote it.

Joanne

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

We are the heretics. I've only been in the lifestyle about a year but I've met plenty of people who make WIITWD a full-blown religion. My wife is neither my sub or my mistress, she is my wife and an equal partner and it amazes me how many folks have a problem with that.

We are active in our local group and it strikes me very funny that the Domme who runs it is constantly preaching acceptance yet describes us "having that weird thing going."

WyrdRich

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Where do we fit? - 7/12/2006 2:03:10 PM

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Although I list myself as a Domme I do list that I like to switch in my profile. I've come to terms with my "switchness"

And am now comfortable with it. If others aren't then they must deal with their own insecurities. I have even had a long time friend who is a male dom tell me that a switch was a confused sub and offered to "help" me. Instead I offered to tie him up and tease him for awhile to test his theory. Or was he afraid he might like it too much?
He ran.

I don't have anything in common with female subs, all that constant kowtowing doesn't appeal to me and I don't really identify totally as a female dominant, constantly being in charge is too stressfull. Change is the spice of life....and the best motto for a Switch.
*ponders: there are organizations for Dom/me, sub, and slaves. Maybe there should be an organization just for Switches as well?*

_____________________________

Mistress Satin
Seek well, Seek true
Are you man enough to submit to Me?

(in reply to Evanesce)

RE: Where do we fit? - 7/12/2006 2:07:14 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline

Double

< Message edited by WildnWicked -- 7/12/2006 2:09:13 PM >

(in reply to WyrdRich)

RE: Where do we fit? - 7/12/2006 2:08:52 PM

Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssSatin

*ponders: there are organizations for Dom/me, sub, and slaves. Maybe there should be an organization just for Switches as well?*

There is.. it is called "Dualities" I belonged it to for many years and know the owner of the group very well. Here is the link...

http://www.dualities.com/home.html

Joanne

(in reply to MstrssSatin)

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